Tell me about it. number

Don't say these hurtful words to children all your life.

Are these five buzzwords familiar to everyone?

1, control the children

Listen to me.

If I say no, I can't.

Go to sleep/do your homework now.

These words are overbearing and autocratic, and children are not allowed to disagree and think for themselves.

Step 2 reject children

Why are you crying? Crying/not crying (negative emotions)

What's terrible about this (negative feeling)

Don't mess with me (deny my ability)

Look at others (deny anger)

Children who are often denied will struggle for the affirmation of others all their lives.

3. Countdown the children

You are really stupid.

How come you don't even know this?

Look, I told you. ...

These words will hurt self-esteem, and children will feel that they can't do anything well, unwilling to try and challenge, and their rebellious mentality is serious.

Step 4 complain about children

But for you, I wouldn't be so tired.

If it weren't for you, we would have divorced.

If you listen, our family won't …

It's Your Fault ...

Transfer negative emotions to children, and children will suppress themselves, please their parents and live in fear.

Step 5 threaten children

If you don't listen, I don't want you.

If you do this again, mother will be angry/dislike you.

I count to three, and then ...

Unconditional love can give children a real sense of security. Instead of: I can get love if I am good, and I will be abandoned if I am not good. Negative emotions, emotions and memories will have a greater impact than positive ones.

These children like to hear the mantra, say more:

1, actively encourage

Believe in yourself, and you will be fine.

Give it a try, it doesn't matter whether you succeed or not.

Do it a few more times and it will get better and better.

Parents' encouragement is the biggest motivation for children's growth, which can shape optimistic and confident personality.

Step 2 show respect

Now that you have thought it over, your parents support you.

Parents respect you.

I want to hear your thoughts.

The older a child is, the less he wants to be controlled. Giving respect and letting go appropriately is also wisdom.

Step 3 be absorbed

You didn't do well in this exam. Are you feeling sick?

I know how you feel. It's called anger/sadness/disappointment/disappointment. I have been there.

If you want to cry, don't hold it back and cry for a while.

Perceive the child's situation, mood and emotion, give * * * affection, and make the parent-child relationship closer.

4. Hand over the right to choose and decide.

It's good for you to decide it yourself.

You can choose … or …

When children don't want to follow their parents' decisions, giving choices can avoid deadlock.

5. Give your child pertinent advice.

Crying won't solve the problem. You'd better convince me with reasons.

I love you, but I don't like you doing this.

I believe it would be better if I were more patient.

Putting opinions behind affirmations will make children more acceptable.

The goal of education is not to be perfect, but to make children become themselves. Talking parents and children are basically not bad, because being loved from an early age is a lifelong armor.