Talk about hooliganism

Funny connotation talk, classic nifty network talk about quotations

1, diaosi and Gao Fushuai kiss the goddess, the former is pa! The latter was snapped up.

Whose daughter lent it to me, and I'll pay you back one big and one small next year.

I have never been afraid of police, hooligans or parents. The only thing I am afraid of is my wife!

Girl, don't be silly. The person who loves you the most in the world married your mother.

The teacher said, students, don't fall in love early. What you say now will be someone else's wife in the future. When I listen, it will be very exciting to lie in the trough and think about other people's wives.

6. Looking back 500 times in previous lives, I got a "rogue" in this life!

7. A good girlfriend can save 20G space for your computer; A good boyfriend can save you 200 Fu Nan batteries.

8. The person you dream of should go to bed when you wake up.

9. All relationships that are not aimed at marriage are playing with other people's wives.

10, the girls will quarrel with their husbands and go back to their parents' homes in the future. Learn to be smart. What passbook and clothes you bring are all weaknesses. Listen carefully to the tape: air conditioner remote control, TV remote control, his driver's license, ID card, car keys, change the computer and WiFi password, and then go back to your parents' home with peace of mind! I can't believe he doesn't know where he is wrong.

1 1. When you see someone you like on the road, you will immediately start the pretend mode.

12, wife: My husband takes the money, and I want to go shopping with Xiaoli. Me: How about 20? Wife: OK. I took out my wallet, took out 20, and silently handed it to my wife …

13, I have high requirements for bedding, and you are my most satisfied.

14, grandma, your express delivery is too slow. Where did you mail my wife?

15, the internet said that everything in the world can be summarized in two sentences: it's none of your business and it's none of my business. I think it's classic. When I get back, I ask my wife to help me with my experiment! As a result, she said, "I am pregnant." I said, "It's none of your business. . . Shut me up. . . Damn it, you are so cruel! ! ! "

16, when I say I like you, will you hug me and say, "Shit, I stopped talking!"

17, falling in love is boring. Play if you can, and get married if you can. Talk about controlling love and sharing.

18, "Would you like to be my sun?" "I do!" "Then please leave 92955886 to me. 7 kilometers. "

19, there are only two choices before you now, either you follow me or I follow you.

20. Q: Is the daughter-in-law important or the game important? A: Of course, it is important to be a daughter-in-law, so I only dare to play games and dare not hit my daughter-in-law.

2 1, "Come out for a moment, I want to talk to you." "About what?" "love."

22. Today, I dreamed that my daughter-in-law died and cried very sadly. When I woke up, I found that there was no daughter-in-law at all, and I cried even more sadly.

23. A man who is more diligent in changing women than changing sanitary napkins will have your dysmenorrhea sooner or later.

24. Men who go home early tell stories to their wives; Men who come home late make up stories for their wives.

25. When I was single, I always forced myself to wash clothes. In order to get rid of this hard life, I decisively found a girlfriend. So ............ Oh, you guessed it. Now I wash all my girlfriend's clothes. Stop talking. Talking too much is all tears. I have to hang up my clothes.

26. I turned her from a girl into a woman, and she turned me from a man into a pauper.

27. Today, I was playing with my mobile phone after class. Suddenly, someone was lying on my back. I thought it was my girlfriend and kissed her. As a result, it is the class teacher. ...

28. I planted my girlfriend in spring and harvested a bunch of green hats in autumn.

Boyfriend: What do you want? Will you stop being unreasonable? Girlfriend: unreasonable, yes, I am unreasonable. As a man, can't you say you are sorry? Just say sorry to me! Boyfriend: Sorry. Girlfriend: Do you think you can just say you're sorry?

Network quotations are classic and funny

1. No matter how beautiful the words are, they are worthless. Doing practical things for the people is a golden word at the beginning.

If someone presses you with a stone and you can stand up, that's resistance.

3. Sometimes love is a kind of injury, cruel people choose to hurt others, and kind people choose to hurt themselves.

4. Zhang Fei goes through the needle, don't look at me stupid, I'll show you.

I sympathize with my second brother, because he was born with two children.

You don't understand what my brother did, because you are too ignorant.

7. Brother looks so abstract, and it's spring. What are you afraid of?

8. Can talented people like us be handsome?

9. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. If the materials are wrong, it will be in vain to try again.

10. When Cupid shoots Cupid's arrow at you, you have love and an arrow; When you return your love to Cupid, you are just a bitch.

1 1. When you fall in love with someone, Maggie Cheung and Boji Su should both be idle Ma Dajie and his wife Li Xiulian, and your girlfriend should be the eternal goddess Athena in your ultimate aesthetic mind.

12. The real gossip is in the mouth of ordinary people!

13. The road you chose is kneeling. ...

14. Eat less! Play more football! Go after work! Miss that girl! Want to be thinner, often want to be thinner! -The secret of losing weight

15. The south wind gently kisses your face, the stars are faint and the moon is misty. Oh, you are too fat tonight.

16. If I wasn't afraid of death, I would have committed suicide once!

17. I never go upstairs because there is an elevator.

19. I can't see my loneliest time either, because I am loneliest only when you can't see me.

20. Being a parent is a very professional occupation, but most parents are employed without any training.

2 1. Hello, host. I am crowded on the bus of 1. I want to order a song for the girl by the window in front. It's Jacky Cheung's song. You know, right, right, 1 You are on the bus. I am willing to squeeze at all.

22. This may seem possible, but it may not.

23. As long as the sunrise appears before sunset, as long as the class arrives before class.

24. In bed, practice is the only criterion to test kung fu.

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

26. Sunrise in the east and rain in the west, the tutor is heartless and affectionate.

27. Take off my clothes, I am an animal. Put on my clothes. I'm the devil wears Prada!

28. Life is a hundred times more cruel than comics. It has arranged countless Pang Hu who like to bully you, countless strong men who like to laugh at you, and an Yijing who you will never catch up with, but never thought of giving you a real robot cat.

29. Success is an idea, getting rich is an obligation and happiness is a strength.

I want people all over the world to know that I keep a low profile.

3 1. You shameless person, you think everyone in the world is your mother and everyone wants to spoil you! ?

32. I saw a car on the road, and there were six words on the back: I was in a hurry to fly over.

33. You are so shameless and heartless, so your weight should be very light, right?

34. Don't always ask people why they don't want to talk to you, because it's too difficult for them to talk to you. Can you believe it?

Before I met you, I really didn't realize that I had a problem with judging people by their appearances.

37. Cowardice is always more fashionable than clothes. The old model is not out of date, and the new model is out again.

38. The person who can think twice before acting is not because he is smart and rational, but because he is afraid of being scolded easily for his mother and uncle.

39. Is the child of two people with type B blood type 2B?

40. I'm going to get a haircut. I shook my bangs and twisted my neck.

Classic wisecracks _ network wisecracks _ wisecracks

1 If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent.

Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you ~ ~

3 Life is like a drama, and drama is like life, suddenly looking back; Being alive is a kind of pressure.

A tree without skin will surely die, and a shameless daughter is invincible in the world.

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

6 in a long life, there will always be a few wrong steps.

If I take off my clothes, I am an animal. I'm the devil wears Prada if I don't take off my clothes.

I never write typos, but I write interchangeable words.

It is not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose. I can't give you happiness, but I can comfort you!

No matter how great the truth is, it will become a cliche if you talk too much.

10 Now I know why pants should be designed with pockets. That's because no one took my hand and walked away.

1 1 Those who work in public institutions are called iron rice bowls, and those who work in private enterprises are called disposable tableware.

12 distance produces not beauty, but a third party.

13 So who wants to be buried in my ancestral grave after death?

14 There are always a group of invisible friends lying on your friends list like dead people. Deceive the corpse occasionally and change the epitaph from time to time.

15 You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, and I am thin because you are sick.

I laugh because you are strong, and I have money because I sold you.

Pig!

16 Don't let too many yesterdays occupy your today!

Breaking up with 17 means not loving. Those high-sounding reasons are not to make each other feel better, but to make themselves feel better!

18 After watching Lust, Caution, a monk said it was boring, and others asked. What is boring, the monk said; Religion is boring!

19 miss, I'm sorry, I'm not handsome. But not every woman has a chance.

There are dark clouds in the wind. There is a petrel between the dark clouds and the sea. Let's meet here and have a romantic love ~

2 1 at first, I didn't give it to women, but later the women were in a hurry!

Married men and women are overjoyed.

Money is a black hole, and affection, friendship, affection and loyalty will disappear without a trace.

The procedure of attending a memorial service is often to receive a profound life education first, and then everyone will smoke, drink and play cards together.

If you want to test my patience, please prepare your patience first.

Nongfu Spring is a little sweet, and women speak a little.

27 said that people in their previous lives were deceiving themselves; It is said that people in the next life are lying to others.

What is birth, illness and death? Live well, get old slowly, get sick late and die quickly.

If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.

Without the wind, the clouds will not move;

Fish can't swim without water;

If there is no sun, the moon will have no light;

Without you,

Stupid people do not exist.

3 1 Give me some sunshine and I will rot.

Suddenly thought of a question, is the walnut caught in the door still healthy?

Give me a girl and I can create a country.

You look sterile!

Summer is coming, girls can wear skirts, but not over their knees!

The latest definition of tourism is from one's own tired place to another's tired place.

We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn stone into gold, and I want her to treat gold like dirt.

When I become a swan, you are still an egg!

Women see what they like, but they don't see the danger.

If you burn incense for one year, you can meet you, incense for three years can know you, and incense for ten years can cherish you.

Therefore, for the happiness of my next life, I am willing to convert to Christ!

4 1 Don't perfunctory me, you can't afford to perfunctory me.

The iron fences in the university campus are all sharp, and the warning signs on them are as follows:

When a boy accidentally flips over, he becomes a girl.

When a girl accidentally turns it over, she becomes a woman.

The ideal is full and the reality is skinny.

Men are reliable, and sows can climb trees.

You know my length, and I know your depth.

As long as it's not dirty, we are the mainstream!

Don't fool me with the' 83 xo, have a bottle of this year's XO.

The so-called unsuitable for children, in fact, is that adults have done something to keep themselves in danger of making mistakes.

You can lead the industry with foresight, catch up after you know it, or be eliminated unconsciously.

50 holding your lover's hand is equivalent to returning to 1899;

Holding the hand of a female classmate, I regret not doing it that year;

Holding my aunt's hand, I found that I had held the wrong hand before.

5 1 Beauty is not discounted. Sister is called beauty, sister is called discount!

I prayed to Jesus to give me a stable life. He thought for a moment and said, let's talk about world peace first. ...

Four weaknesses: boss kidney, three speeches, miss tears, statistics table.

I took the floppy disk to the refrigerator and froze it for a day, then it became a hard disk! In this way, I have another hard disk.

I am in a daze, but I am not here now. If you are slow, look down.

56 There is only a mistress who doesn't work hard, and there is no inseparable home.

Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, one is the first day and the other is the fifteenth.

If you don't study for a day, no one will see it. If you don't study for a week, you will start to explode. If you don't study in January, your IQ will be lost to pigs.

I planted a bunch of girlfriends in spring, and now it's autumn. Gee, nothing ~ ~

Wallet, what happened to your wallet? Answer my wallet. Why have you lost weight again? Wake up.

6 1 Men are poor. They work hard to make money and inevitably have to pay. It's dangerous to have a lover.

I don't miss my wife, but she always thinks of me.

63 how far your thoughts are, how far you roll; You can roll as fast as the speed of light

64 men are lewd and can't stand the temptation; Women are easy to say, so they can't stand loneliness.

True leadership lies not in how many gentlemen you command, but in how many villains you control.

I must be reborn as a woman in my next life and then marry a man like me.

Tell me, do you want to die or not?

I often eat garlic, onions and radishes to cultivate my aura. Now, my body is full of aura.

Picking up girls is like hanging up QQ. Coax her for 2 hours every day, and it will soon be sunny.

What is yours is mine, and what is mine is mine!

7 1 If I want to sweep the floor, I will never wash the dishes. If I want to wash the dishes, I will never sweep the floor. Both? You think I'm an alien!

Talk about the meaning of funny.

1, the salary is not on time, but the term is on time. 2. Husband, send your love via Bluetooth.

You are garbage, but I am not a garbage collector.

4, money is selfless, how many families have been cheated.

I am relieved to see that you are unhappy.

6. Every time I wake up in the morning, I know I should go to bed early at night.

7. First friends, then sisters, and finally babies.

8. The wind is rustling and the water is cold. If you owe money, you have to pay it back.

9. Take your face away and don't dirty my eyes.

10. Recently, all the poor flies at home have gone to other homes.

1 1, your photo is really good, 24k, made of pure traffic.

12, others tell the truth after drinking, and I only vomit food after drinking.

13, you have the body of a bear, but you are touching Xiong Er.

14, how many points the teacher gives me, and how many years I wish the teacher to live.

15, some classes are like Fu Nan batteries, and one class has six monitor.

16, since I bought insurance, I didn't even look at the traffic lights when I walked.

17, Grandpa Mao said that people who don't get married are called hooligans.

18, shameless thing, done well, is called excellent psychological quality.

19, chickens crow early in the country and people crow late in the city.

20. That year, Aoi sora was still a virgin, and Guan had no camera.

2 1, what if you have a husband. Isn't the goalkeeper the same?

22, bed, you let go of me, come on, I'm going to school.

23. Every time someone praises me, I worry that others praise me not enough.

24. Men's meticulous attraction is second only to women's nudity.

25. I can only do two things in my life, this and that.

26, lies, after packaging, have a better name: oath.

27. How can you be so calm about someone who has a crush on me?

28. Confess if you like it. Maybe people are waiting to refuse you.

29. People who don't wear clothes are animals, and those who wear clothes are the devil wears clothes.

30, life since ancient times, who has no shit, who has no paper. Good poem, good poem.

3 1, the person I secretly loved changed his hairstyle yesterday, and I suddenly felt that I had changed my mind.

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.

I wanted to eat my sadness in one bite, but it turned into a meatball.

Teacher, Xiaogang will ask for leave tomorrow, because he may be ill tomorrow.

35. People have lost weight, waist and buttocks. Why do we have to start with brain cells?

36. The last doomsday dinosaurs all died; So I'm worried about you this time.

37. Do you think your brother looks familiar? Yes, you and your brother were husband and wife in a previous life.

38, forget it, don't lose weight, do you love meat there?

39. When you think that the person you like likes you, you usually think too much.

40. Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to finish his homework before eating. Later, he starved to death.

4 1, or 10086 is good for me. I sent him a short message and he replied to me three times.

42. My brother said: I like to play with boys when I was a child, but I like to play with girls when I grow up.

43, weeding day at noon, nothing depends on the general. It is better to fight the landlord than to have nothing to do.

44. I think I'm not absent-minded in class now, but on a business trip directly.

45. Someone asked me, have you ever been on an airplane? I replied, no, I did.

46. surfing the internet really hurts. Three seconds for a card, the card is chic. Stop in five seconds and it will be tangible.

47. Part I: Looking for a good job. Part II: Looking for a husband to find a good husband.

48. Men should like fleshy girls. All who like bones are dogs. . .

49. Every reserved and calm moment has a naive and silly past.

50. Real trust is when you say: I fart, she will never cover her nose.

5 1. Boys who are nice to one girl are called warm men, and boys who are nice to all girls are called hot dogs.

52. Old Moon, please switch to a steel wire when you pull the red line for me next time. This damn red line is always broken.

53. I'm embarrassed to tell others these days that I don't have dozens of test papers in my hand.

54. When you are alive, you will be laughed at by others first, then you will smile at others, and then you will die laughing.

55. There are vampires in American high schools, long legs in Korean high schools and broken legs in China high school homework.

56. Mom said: A girl's mouth should be sweet. So I decisively ate all the sugar at home.

If Newton sat under the durian tree, our exam would be much easier.

58. After winter, the world is divided into two parts, one under the covers and the other outside.

59. People who have been dissatisfied with hairstyles have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a matter of face.

60. I was crazy, stupid, persistent, persistent, loved, and finally lived alone.

6 1, common sense of life: Farting wildly in a taxi can reduce the chances of being driven by unscrupulous drivers.

62. My greatest wish is: the school has collapsed, the teacher is crazy, the homework belongs to others, and you are mine.

An impulsive girl like me should give me a lot of money to calm me down.

64. In fact, people's looks can be divided into two categories: one is natural beauty; One is natural inspiration. . .

65. I once had a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup.

66. When seeing a pretender, my brother always lowers his head silently. It's not that I have good quality, it's that I look for bricks.

When I took off my sweater in the dark, I felt I was a first-class Pikachu.

68. Li Bai was about to go by boat when he suddenly heard singing on the shore. Make a scene, leisurely and dazzling national style.

69. Do you know how disgusting you are? Your mother threw up the first time she felt your presence! !

70. In the dead of night, I often ask myself whether it was right or wrong to decide to come to Earth. . . .

7 1, I can't stand my girlfriend who eats vegetables anymore. She broke my little walnut bracelet and ate it.

72. Do you know how disgusting you are? Your mother threw up the first time she felt your presence! !

73. I asked God: How to be happy at the same time about forget the sorrow. God replied: Drive yourself crazy.

74. If you think I am fat, just say so. Don't beat around the bush and say that you really take it one step at a time!

There are only three reasons why you don't listen carefully in class: there is a silly ratio in your heart with a mobile phone in your hand, and there is a funny ratio next to it.

76. Looking back now, I feel that there will be a big wave of zombies coming soon, but I haven't even planted sunflowers yet.

77. Honey, you must believe me. I sit in a row. All the boats are dizzy, let alone two.

78. The teacher always teaches us to take care of trees, but I want to tell you, teacher, that trees seem to have been made into test papers.

79. I have returned all the heavy rains I missed in those years to you these days. I also want to tell you that it will rain tomorrow and the day after tomorrow!

80. Don't dare to take a female driver's car next time. This is my first car accident. I covered my eyes and didn't step on the brakes.

8 1. If you hear my laughter instead of hahaha, then you must pay more attention to me and buy me a lipstick by the way.

82. I remember you You are the boy who fell into the cesspit for three hours and was salvaged. Not only is he all right, but he also runs and laughs while wiping his mouth and burping.

83. Every time I take the elevator, I feel like I'm in the microwave when I hear the door opening. Sometimes there are acquaintances in it.

84. Take your girlfriend to the amusement park to ride a roller coaster. Other people's girlfriends: ah ~ ah ~ how horrible! Girlfriend: Ouch!

85. Idiot youth: I will always be seventeen. Literary youth: they begin to grow old at the age of seventeen. Ordinary youth: I have been a teacher since I was seventeen.

86. I fell in love with you at this age, not because you have a car and a house, but because it was sunny that day, and you were wearing a white shirt and carrying a bag of spicy strips in your pocket.

87. Now the names of the programs are all where is Dad going, brother? Then I'll give you some programs, too. Michel platini followed me, but my sister-in-law didn't.

88. Ten years ago, primary school students ate spicy strips and college students drank coffee. Ten years later, primary school students eat Haagen-Dazs and college students eat spicy strips. that this is not the important question. The point is who ate the spicy strips or those people.

89. Being cheated on the Internet 1300 yuan. I went to the police. The police said that if the amount was below 2000 yuan, I wouldn't file a case, so I immediately dialed 700 yuan into the liar's account and was deeply shocked by my wisdom.

90. There are three stages in life: first, the moonlight family who earns money on their own conditions is called a loser; Second, if you lose yourself and start to gnaw at the old, this is called mutual loss; Third, when you are old, find a partner like yourself. It's called husband and wife failure.