Love men and women 2, I heard it's funny. What are the classic lines?

1. Zhang Wei: Now the raw rice has been cooked into porridge!

2, Xiaoxian: I really didn't know it on purpose, you can format me!

3. Yifei: You must call me online tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the tablet.

4, Youyou: Please, such an old film, you archaeology!

5. Zi Qiao: Are you still smart? You are a personal name!

6. Zhang Wei: I never eat chewing gum. I can't swallow it.

7. Xiaoxian: I want to eat my stomach when I pull it out.

8. Xiaoxian: In the past, advertisements were inserted in TV dramas. As soon as the advertisement came out, all the audience went to the bathroom. It's a good thing that TV dramas are inserted in advertisements now. As soon as the opening song came out, everyone went to the bathroom!

9, delivery: the same is the end of the world sausage mouth, why rush to fry!

10, Yumo: I'm allergic to time!

1 1, Yifei: As the saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day, except in the microwave oven!

12, Zi Qiao: I am willing to repay everything with my feelings, including my body!

13, Yifei: If you want to live a good life, you must bring some green ~!

14, Zi Qiao: According to her cooking level, there are bugs in the dish and wires in the fan!

If Conan were alive, he would be angry with Richard Moore! 16, Guangu: You talk to them until midnight every day, how can they have time to create human beings!

17, Zhang Wei: I was the third runner-up in judo in the summer camp of law school, and I almost became the third runner-up in the last session!

18, Youyou: Quarrel is bad behavior ... Let's fight!

Riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but also a Tang priest ... It is not necessarily a monk who can burn incense, but also a panda ... It is not necessarily a bad person who has tattoos, and it is not necessarily a big bird who can fly, but it may be Li Ning.

Classic lines in ipartment;

Wan Yu: The little dragon girl was raped. Guangu (crazy): Nani (what)? ! That will be a day! Wan Yu (smiling): Yes, it was Yin Zhiping. (Continue to be angry): Stop it! Stop talking about Yifei: I really want to put my size 37 shoes on your size 42 face now! A vegetable can speak better than you. Do you believe it or not? I'll plant you in a flowerpot now! !

Ipartment's classic line: Yifei: Never mind, failure is success. Damn Zhan Bo: I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant. Joe: Huh? This cup has no mouth! Meijia: You're holding the cup backwards. Joe (upside down): Not only has no mouth, but also has no bottom.

Meijia: My aunt came to see me early, and now my waist is very sour and my stomach is very uncomfortable. Guangu: Meijia, your aunt is so kind to you. Otherwise, she will sleep in my room and I will sleep on the sofa today. Wan Yu: Guangu, what you said about my aunt is different from what she said about Guangu: Oh, does Meijia have many aunts? Your grandmother is really fertile. I only have one, but I have three young aunts!

Classic lines in ipartment;

Wan Yu: Ugly, but ugly is special, just ugly! Zhan Bo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take you to forgive him? Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is God's business. My task is to send him to God!

Zi Qiao: I also want to find a place to print my head on money. Meijia: It's not difficult. Why don't you find a place where you can print money? Guan Gu (singing): Dragon, you still have two years, forever and ever ... Guan Gu (singing): I'm not a locust, I'm not a centipede, I just want a base brother, perfect love ... Yifei:

Ipartment's classic line: Wan Yu: Dog biscuits are rich in conditioner and anti-dandruff formula. After eating them, the hair disappears without a trace and dandruff is more prominent! Yifei: Did your mother throw people away and raise the placenta when she gave birth to you? Zi Qiao: Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you! Meijia: If you have a caesarean section, I ... I have to clean the floor again ... Xiaobo: I have been divorced for three years, and my son is half a year old.

Classic lines in "ipartment": Passers-by: Eat sesame cakes and beer lids, eat wonton and moth balls, pat flies on your nails, go to Qingsongguan to burn incense, and your mobile phone falls into the merit box and can't be taken out. Sister Flash: Canned sardines are more promising than you! Sister Flash: There is not enough money, the actors are undecided, and the script doesn't have a dime at the moment: I think this matter is completely unreliable. China Men's Football World Cup is almost as outrageous as you!

The classic line in ipartment: Lisa: It's you! Ceng Xiaoxian! Ceng Xiaoxian: You know me? Lisa: My classmate's cousin's neighbor and your brother-in-law's cousin are in-laws! Lisa: (pointing to Ceng Xiaoxian's face) It's not the software. You should change the monitor! Ceng Xiaoxian: Hello, everyone, I am your new Xiaoxian and good friend. ...

Ipartment classic lines: Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day I dreamed that I was taking an exam, and then I was awakened. Something even more terrible happened. It turns out that I am really taking an exam! Guangu: Isn't The Promise a romantic film? Zi Qiao: Ha! I can't understand the movie at first sight! ... The Promise is a horror movie!

The classic line in ipartment: Joe: At that time, the sky was still blue and the water was green. There is no bird flu in chickens and ducks, and pork can be safely eaten. At that time, you had to wear clothes to take pictures, and you had to pay back your debts. The mother-in-law doesn't want to marry her daughter, and the father of the child ... is also very clear.

Ipartment classic lines: Yifei: Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies, and our brains grew together before we were two years old. Xiaoxian: Yes, and then the doctor gave all his brains to Zhanbo with a sharp knife: first, five copies of Rape and Chicken Rice Flower! Wan Yu (to the waiter): Then we'll take five copies of Rape Chicken Rice Flower and one copy of Fei: Two prodigies, which is Violence Chicken Rice Flower. Expo: Oh, really, changed its name?

Episode 1: Xiaoxian: Xiaoxian has such a roommate. He lives in two suites in the same apartment with a girl. It's a pity that one always goes to the left and the other always takes the elevator. Joe: It's Chen Yuanyuan, and you? Chen, Ping, Ping!

The first episode: Bus Master (to Zhan Bo): You are a pervert. You either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out of here. What are you twisting? Bus master (to bodyguard): Hey, come back! Either swipe your card, put in a coin or get out. what are you reading? (Bodyguard gets off the bus) You can't afford a car, and you pretend to be the matrix, huh!

Ipartment has a brain teaser.

1. Question: Why don't polar bears eat penguins? Answer: Because polar bears are in the North Pole and penguins are in the South Pole.

2. Question: If Ceng Xiaoxian climbs a tree to pick melons, he can pick one every minute, but if he doesn't pick ten, two will fall. How many can he pick a day? Answer: 0, cantaloupe doesn't grow on trees, and Ceng Xiaoxian has short legs and can't climb trees.

3. Question: If there is a car, Xiaoming is driving, and Xiaohong and Xiaohua are sitting behind, then who is the owner of the car? Answer: If

Question: There are four fingers sticking out, so what are these four fingers called bending? Answer: Wonderful.

5. Question: What turtle walks on two legs? Answer: Ninja Turtles

6. Question: What kind of dog walks on two feet? Answer: Snoopy.

7. Question: What cat walks on two feet? Answer: Hello Kitty.

8. Question: What duck walks on two feet? Answer: Every duck walks on two feet.

1. Question: Who is a person who always uses you to be responsible for him but he is not responsible for you? Answer: banks.

2. Question: When a sow crosses the river, the river can bear 500 kilograms. The sow weighed 300 kilograms, but when she reached the middle of the bridge, the bridge collapsed. Why? Answer: Because she drove across the bridge.

3. Q: Why didn't Hu Yifei die when he dropped from 6000m to1000m? A: Because she is a shareholder of China.

4. Question: What are the four lines that Friar Sand said the most in Journey to the West?

Answer: (1) Brother, the master was taken away by the monster. (2) Brother, the second brother was taken away by the monster.

(3) Second brother, the master was taken away by the devil.

(4) Big Brother, Master and Second Brother were all taken away by monsters.

5. Q: There are twelve kinds of medical pain. The first is the pain of mosquito bites, and the twelfth is the pain of pregnant women giving birth. So what is the thirteenth kind of pain? Answer: The pain of pregnant women being bitten by mosquitoes during childbirth.

6. Question: What animals can be attached to the wall? Answer: sealed

7. Question: The tortoise built a house in its shell and got in. Answer the name of a health care product? Answer: cover the middle cover.

8. Question: The tortoise tore down the house and built another house, then got in and answered the name of a health care product? A: The new cover is in the middle.

9. Question: It's the same turtle. He tore down the house, built another house, then got in and answered the name of a health care product. Answer: Super calcium.

10. Question: What is always relevant to you, but you can't see or find it when you need it? A: Relevant departments.

1 1. Question: There were four people playing mahjong in the room, and the police came and took five people away. Why? Answer: Because the person they play is called Mahjong.

12. Question: 26 letters. How many lETters are left after et left? Answer: 2 1, ET is an alien, they took the UFO away.

Love apartment 2 classic lines!

Freeze for three feet, you can't thaw it unless you are in the microwave oven.

Listen to other people's stories and shed your own tears.

What people want to cook is not a dish, but a wife.

Since ancient times, anyone who has not died has to die sooner or later ~

At least it's a man. He sounds like a little Shenyang.

Bet me that it's not what I want, it's what you have.

Two heads are better than one. Smells like Zhuge Liang.

The premise of thinking is to have a brain, right?

Money talks.

Down's performance rule one: don't give up the right to speak to your opponent. You must get more lines for yourself. The play was stolen.

Donne's performance rule 2: Never let the audience guess the development of the plot.

Rule 3 of Down's Performance: Create a sufficient background for the story, preferably involving the grievances of two generations.

……

Donne's performance rule 40: The audience will always expect more tangled character relationships and more interesting plots.

Face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.

Killing rats with bare hands is more Donnie Yen than Jet Li!

Narcissism plus brain damage, that is self-mutilation!

Zhang Wei: yes, of course, I like her, too ... but my favorite actresses usually don't end well. I used to like Okubo Matsuo, but then she passed away. I like Noriko Sakai, too, and then she takes drugs.

Youyou: Do you know what is the greatest pain in life? Is to sit next to you and you don't know it. Youyou: Do you know what is the greatest pain in life? Is that you already know the secret, but you can't tell it.

Fairy: Be careful, I can rest assured. You are greedy, and I am worried. I'm glad you have a heart. You are a playboy, and I am disgusting. I'm sorry for your ingratitude. Bless all my heart, your moon, my heart, and the Spring Festival blessing is sincere.

Guangu: I know you know that others don't know you know, but I have seen your performance before, so you should know that I know you know.

Zhang Wei: Failure is really common, but I have never surpassed it! I thought Moran was the one I was looking for, but she thought I was not a rich second generation!

Fairy: Ha! Still pretending, I can see from Yo-Yo's last audition that his pupils are dilated and he is fidgeting. More than 20 packets of instant noodles I bought later have been ground into flour by you!

Now all the performers are singing, those who can't sing are writing books, those who can't write books are acting, and those who can't act are singing again. Showbiz is a circle!

Zhang Wei: The method of counting sheep came from abroad. In English, the pronunciation of "sheep" is sheep, which is very close to sleeping. Reading too much will have psychological hints. But how do China people use psychological cues in English? ! I have a new set that is more direct and effective-jiaozi. Jiaozi-Sleep, this is the psychological hint of China people!

Youyou: Down's performance rule 1: Don't give up the right to speak to your opponent. You must get more lines for yourself. The classic quotation of Love Apartment 2 was stolen.

Fairy: Yumo, let me remind you that if the key is broken, you can give up the right to use the house and the car at the same time.

Xiaoxian: Chewing gum ... It is rumored on the Internet that if you eat five pieces together, you can feel full by chewing, and the most important thing is that you won't get fat, which is most suitable for people who are lovelorn!

Zi Qiao: Mr. Guan, we have been friends for many years. You can't help me this time. If you can bless me to read this difficulty, I swear by Lv Xiaobu that I will never, ever, ever-never surf the Internet again.

Yumo: Although the man who bought you a diamond ring may not be reliable, the man who refused to buy you a diamond ring must be unreliable.

Zi Qiao: If your friend is playing story solitaire, be sure to get involved and don't walk away alone. Otherwise, you never know what disgusting role they will assign you.

Fairy: As we all know, Comrade Hu Yifei is a wonderful flower in the apartment. With her unique personality charm, she has monopolized many records of the apartment for many years, including: the most unreasonable. I like to meddle. The highest education. Loudest sound. And-the best.

Zi Qiao: Ceng Xiaoxian, you are a man. What excites you should be the devil's figure, not the devil's stepmother! Looking at the celestial phenomena at night, I vaguely feel that the purple gas is coming from the east, spring is bursting, dragons are flying in the sky, and Feng Haichao.

Yifei: Listen, the previous model was Zhanbo, Wan Yu and me. Love Apartment 2 Classic Quotations Now that they are together, they become Zhan Bo and Wan Yu (Dunshi) and me. You got it? Guangu: Oh! I know. This is a Chinese sentence-breaking exercise that I often do.

Director: Little girl, this is called costume magic drama. Where can I watch an action movie now? If you don't have a mother-in-law, bad debts and a third party, you won't even want to go to the prime file.

Youyou: It's my fault. I like drama too much, but I'm afraid I can't choose it. Later, I thought, I can't hang myself on a tree, so I hung ropes on both trees. ...

Youyou: The entertainment circle is too deep. Everyone is a woman. Why are women embarrassed? Therefore, take good care, women must be kind to themselves, especially women who are actors. Once you get sick, other women will take your job, even spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!

Guan Gu: I've only heard the host scold the audience. I heard the audience scold the host for the first time. This article is carefully collected and sorted by China Quotation Network.

Youyou: You have saved enough 4.5 yuan and I have saved enough 4.5 yuan. We can register with the Civil Affairs Bureau. Then we'll have a baby. I thought of a name, called "Shuai". Then people will say, "handsome dad!" "

Yumo: What's wrong with being 28? What I hate most is age discrimination! Huang Zhong fought with Liu Bei and Tokugawa Ieyasu at the age of 70, Jiang Ziya became prime minister at the age of 80, She Taijun studied Buddhism at the age of 100, the Monkey King studied Buddhism at the age of 500, and Bai Niangzi fell in love at the age of 1000! !

Yifei: Hum, you can continue your mediocre life. My students will not let me down. They will trample on your trivial outlook on life with a hearty victory.

Compere: Ceng Xiaoxian, do you often play video games? Ceng Xiaoxian: Occasionally, mainframe, StarCraft or Warcraft? Ceng Xiaoxian: Lianliankan

Yumo: We really need these two ashtrays. How do you know we can't smoke at all? Ceng Xiaoxian: Here are a pair of cups, which I picked out specially for you two. Don't you think they look very personal? Youyou: You mean we are tragedies.

Left eye jumps, peach blossoms bloom, right eye jumps, chrysanthemums bloom.

You must call me online tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the tablet.

I have more than a dozen different ways to die.

Life is like a play, one is in love, the other is married and has children. This is normal.

I will definitely be chopped into potato chips.

Since ancient times, no one has died, and whoever dies early will have to die late.

Now the raw rice has been cooked into porridge.

It's not terrible to die, it's terrible to sit back and wait.

We agree. If there are different opinions, I am responsible, and she has the final say.

God, I jumped into the sea in Japan, and I can't even wash it off.

Europe and America hide ~ Japanese action ~

Meeting and parting, like a turn, turn around and turn around, become the dance of life. Some people will come back, and some people know that goodbye is too difficult.

You are more like Donnie Yen than Jet Li!

Hard life needs no explanation!

How can you say that he is crazy? If he has a brain, too.

Three cobblers, Zhuge Liang stinks to death.

Well said. I said a lot, but I didn't quite understand.

A good man is me, and I am Ceng Xiaoxian (eyebrows shake and face is tangled ~)

I'm Brother Zeng. I told you about that letter. I believe me. . .

I spray you with salt and soda!

Opportunities have fallen on me. But I escaped one by one.

Baked bullfrog with heater ~

Let's face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.

Help me cut the carrot into diced meat.

What's your status? You have an ID card.

You talk to them until midnight every day. How can they have time to create human beings?

Bet me that it's not what you want, but what I have …

Beating people does not advocate hitting the face and hurting self-esteem.

We are brothers, as long as you dare to use violence against any one of us, so will the other two of us! ! ! Worrying ...

My Tatsu, my knife, my Tatsu, my knife, my Tatsu, my knife, my Tatsu, my knife ... "ipartment" surprised the divine comedy "uneasy"

Spitting is used to count money, not to reason.

"Fortunately, it's not red wine, or my clothes will be ruined." "It's a good thing it's not sulfuric acid, or your face will be ruined."

Your head and ass are upside down again.

If you are driving and sitting in Xiaohong and Xiaoming Lane, who is the owner? Answer: If.

Even the "toilet paper hunger card" has no money to buy ~

You can escape the monk, but you can't escape the abbot.

Don't be infatuated with me, I'm not just a legend.

"I really want to put a toilet in your head and wash away all those disgusting things in your head." "Then his whole brain will be washed away."

There is no rehearsal in real life, it is live broadcast.

What she wants to cook is not a dish, but a wife.

A new generation of urban women won the hall, kitchen, Trojan horse, fence, bicycle, house, mistress and hooligan!

We are two aspiring young people standing on the street who are about to fly their ideals.

The difference between him and a pig is that a pig can't become a man, but he will become a pig from time to time.

I wanted to win glory for boys, but now it's really gone.

I am not a celebrity, I am a celebrity!

A game is a game. You don't have to be involved. If you do this, you must abide by the rules of the game and bear all the consequences.

I am not only calm now, but also my eggs hurt!

When I become emperor, I will make you a prince.

Don't treat shrimp as seafood.

Say it again! The one downstairs, I'm afraid most of your "classics" are from ipartment 1! ~ ~ What the landlord said is the second part, you know.

I changed it and went down. I was the first to answer! O ()) Alas

The one downstairs, you are my upstairs now! ! ! ! ! !