Sense of self-limitation

I am a person with a very low sense of self-limitation and a very high degree of patience. No matter what happens, I feel it's my fault. No matter how painful it is, I feel I can't stand it, because my endurance is too low or I can't do it.

Let yourself gradually realize this, two things.

First, when I am at work, no matter which department has something, I will be asked to do it, check the workshop, make documents, check the quality inspection department, go to the workshop for testing and sort out new documents. As a result, I was most anxious, and finally my cervical vertebra was uncomfortable. I go to work until four o'clock in the afternoon every day, and I can hardly look up, feel uncomfortable and dizzy. At that time, my idea was that I was too poor to be qualified for this job. It seems trivial, but it is overwhelming.

Second, when you have children. At that time, I opened my own Taobao shop, and I was bent on doing a good job. And I got pregnant. When I was born, it was Double Eleven. I went to help deliver the goods in the second month, and then I couldn't wait to go to work immediately. The situation of taking care of children is really day and night. I eat breast milk every two hours, just because my blood pressure is high. After a week's rest, my high blood pressure was just a little bit, and I started to have a fever and mastitis. It's really a period of life, but I thought it would be good to give my child breast milk, so I tried all the remedies. I went to the emergency department once, and the doctor said I needed an infusion. At that time, I was so ignorant I wanted to breastfeed, but I didn't want an infusion, so I went home. Now, I can still remember what the emergency room looked like, and I can still remember how I felt when I walked out of the emergency room. I never thought that my hair would develop into abscess mastitis and I was hospitalized for surgery. After half a month, I finally had three months to change my dressing. This time, I didn't let myself care more about myself. At the end of the three-month dressing change, I felt so happy to see my child take the first sip of milk. I am so satisfied to see the satisfied smile of the child after eating breast milk. I am a good mother.

Until later, taking care of the children worried about the store and blocked the milk again. I didn't know the seriousness of the matter until I knew how much I should care about myself. It took a long time to realize this. Before that, I don't think taking care of myself is a thing to consider. I don't have any armor.

The pain of life is to let your heart slowly grow cocoons and build a little armor. Let you start to establish a sense of self-boundary, distinguish between my world and others' world.

I feel that I have a strong empathy since I was a child, and I can even empathize with other people's affairs. After watching a movie or even listening to a piece of music, I will be deeply involved.

The world is divided into two parts-me and the world outside me.

The sense of self-boundary is established bit by bit, and the specific self is slowly presented.