How to face students' "disrespect" frankly

Some people say that calmness is a state of mind. Although not as deep as the blue sky, it can have the elegance of white clouds. Without the vastness of the sea, there can be the elegance of the stream. And I want to say that calm people have a persistent heart. Only with his broad mind and calm mind can he achieve eternal life by showing people his life words and ideas. As an educator, in the journey of life, we should be good at carving "students' disrespect" with a calm height. Peace is beautiful, eternal and relative. When you are calm, you have everything. When you lose your cool, you lose everything.

In our educational career, there will always be incidents in which students "disrespect" their teachers. Or talk back in front of the teacher, or abuse the teacher behind his back, or give the teacher a nickname, or even threaten the teacher or fight with the teacher seriously. The head teacher bears the brunt. As the most direct manager of students, it is most likely to cause students' "disrespect". If this kind of thing is not handled well by the teacher, the small aspect will have bad consequences for the students, parents and the class teacher himself, and the big aspect will affect the reputation of the school and the stability of the society. So, when the class teacher is dealing with the students' "disrespect", how to face it calmly? .

In this year's class management, the author is "lucky" to meet such a student who doesn't respect the teacher. Once the school held a basketball match, and our class entered the final. There is no doubt about the importance of that game, and it is far ahead in the second competition for the first and second place. An accident happened suddenly. One of the main players sprained his ankle and had to be replaced by another player. However, this player had a conflict with the captain of the basketball team and did not cooperate with other players on the court, which led to the backwardness of the class. In this case, I decisively replaced him. He mumbled a few rude words to the coach and me as soon as he got off the court. I ignored him at that time and didn't talk to him in time. However, he ran into the classroom and broke five pieces of glass in desperation. Later, when I talked to him at school, he was still very rude. At that time, I was also very irrational and severely reprimanded him. He pointed at my nose and said, you are so cruel, see how I can tidy up you! Say that finish and roared off. Of course, as you can imagine, he left school. After reflection, I found that I had gone too far. If I can handle this matter tactfully and flexibly, maybe this student will continue to receive education. Perhaps it is because of that impulsive moment that a student's future is ruined. Afterwards, I thought and reviewed the class management in recent years. I deeply understand that teachers should face students' "disrespect" calmly and handle students' "disrespect" correctly. Teachers should pay attention to the following problems in the process of handling.

First, when an event happens, it should be cold, not hot.

As the manager of the class, the head teacher is bound to have conflicts with the students on some issues. When we meet students' "disrespect", it is unimaginable if we are not excited and angry. However, as a class teacher, we should also consider the negative influence of our feelings. We should use reason to overcome feelings, deal with them coldly, and make the big things small and the small things small. Former Suhomlinski once said: "The profession of a teacher means that he has given up his personal emotional rights and should make himself broad-minded." Why don't we do this?

Not long ago, when I was having a class meeting, a female classmate named Wang Xueyan had a little quarrel below. I was very impulsive and thought; Who has the courage to ignore my existence? So he gave a stern warning: whoever makes any noise again will go out. However, the girls were also careless, and then deliberately made several moves. At that time, I didn't control my emotions. I was very excited and made a decision and threw it out! The female classmate was also very excited and shouted loudly: I'm not going out! What can you do to me? Immediately, she took out her PHS and called her mother unscrupulously in class, shouting, "Our original class teacher is better than you!" " "Son, as soon as I heard this, I was even more angry with my former head teacher. As a result, the students patted the table and I patted the lecture table, and there was a big fight, which turned the originally serious class meeting into a battlefield for the class teacher and the students to quarrel. This incident has a bad influence on the class. Some students think that my attitude is brutal and autocratic, so it is difficult to carry out class work without me. After a while, calm down and think about it. It's not all the students' fault. So I actively communicated with parents and talked with students, and finally resolved this contradiction. Strangely, instead of making trouble, this classmate has made great progress in his academic performance and improved his moral quality.

Looking back now, although this incident did not cause great consequences, if it was handled calmly at that time, it might save a lot of time and avoid taking many detours in class management.

Second, the Book of Changes should not move after the incident.

In our daily life, our head teacher always pretends to be the "boss" and thinks that all the actions of students must be very commanding, otherwise it is "a big violation". So some class teachers are eager to solve the "rude" incident. Or complain to the parents of the students, or hand over the students to the student affairs office to find a solution. As class teachers, do we think that after the "disrespect" incident, most students tend to be very sensitive and fragile psychologically? If you go to parents and schools to stimulate him again, it will easily lead to worse results. Through practice, I feel that after something happens, don't rush to take action, but calm down and think. Think about why the "disrespectful" incident happened and whether there are shortcomings in the process of dealing with the problem. If you can solve it yourself, why go to school and parents again?

Unexpected events can best reflect the class teacher's self-control ability and adaptability. Students hate that the head teacher always goes to parents and complains at school. In this way, the work of the class teacher is bound to be impossible.

Third, deal with the incident in depth, not shallowly.

As all students know, respecting teachers and attaching importance to morality is a fine traditional virtue of the Chinese nation for thousands of years. Therefore, under normal circumstances, most students will not conflict with their teachers. If students "disrespect" the class teacher, there is always something hidden behind it. As an educator of the mind, should we reflect on ourselves more or seriously find the root cause? When dealing with this "disrespectful" incident, we must not be impatient, but should conduct in-depth investigation and understanding, and we must never perfunctory.

There is a classmate in my class named Yan Ming, who has been in poor health since childhood. His mother dotes on him and lets him develop. When I was fifteen, I had a big fight at school and cut each other. At that time, the class teacher did not deal with this matter in time, and as a result, he was taken into custody by the public security organs, which left great trauma to his mind. After returning to school, he and his classmates went to war one after another. And every time Yan Ming "fights" with other students, he is full of depression when he goes to school, and his academic performance is naturally self-evident. I just took over and didn't know the situation. I had many heart-to-heart talks with him after discovering his abnormality. Every time, I guess at random, and then I give directions in a self-righteous way, and the result is not good. One day I handed out textbooks, and after I finished, I heard him mutter a few words and asked him to say what was going on. He stood up and said, "I didn't say anything!" " "I said proudly," No, I heard it with my own ears. How can you refute it! " He said, "Did I say I knew? "At that time, I was very angry and felt that it was futile to care so much about him at ordinary times. However, looking back on his series of performances afterwards, I realized that his "disrespect" was just an appearance. After school in the afternoon, I quietly handed him a note behind my classmate's back, and gently talked about the problem of textbooks. In the note, I didn't blame him for "disrespect", but hoped to share his worries. As a result, he told me all the mistakes in the note he gave me. It turns out that this book is not printed clearly. This time, the effect of note exchange is surprisingly good. It seems that through this conversation, he has unloaded a great burden. Later, every time something happened, he would take the initiative to talk to me or talk in writing. Then I was refreshed and my academic performance went up.

Fourth, the attitude of handling should be true, not false.

Sometimes, after the "rude" incident, the class teacher is afraid to expand the incident and hide his feelings, so he can't solve the problem calmly. Instructing students is always hypocritical. They don't talk openly with students, consider their own interests everywhere, and even point out students' mistakes too much. Instead, they play tricks and preach. This attitude is not desirable. Such a "disrespect" incident will more or less leave a shadow in the hearts of teachers and students. If the problem is not solved sincerely, it will not only affect the physical and mental health of students, but even the physical and mental health of teachers will be hurt. It is even more impossible to carry out the work of the head teacher, so I can only be a deserter who resigned from the work of the head teacher.

When disrespectful events happen around us, as teachers, we should put down the so-called "shelf and face" and review our shortcomings and mistakes with a sincere attitude. If students' "disrespect" is caused by teachers, they should be brave enough to take responsibility; If the main reason lies in the students, we should be frank, face the students' disrespect frankly, and try to find a suitable way to educate them and solve the problem perfectly. Educator Gary Ning once said: "A teacher's world outlook, his character, his life and his attitude towards every phenomenon will affect all students in one way or another. If the teacher is very prestigious, then the influence of this teacher will leave traces on some students. " It can be seen that the influence of teachers' words and deeds on students is profound and lasting. Therefore, teachers should not only constantly improve their self-cultivation, be strict with themselves, be virtuous, knowledgeable and enterprising, but also be good at treating and educating students with a peaceful attitude. Only with your own sincerity can you get the students' sincerity.

Five, the treatment scale, should be wide and not strict.

Students' "disrespect" for teachers often occurs when they are criticized or punished. Nowadays, most students are only children and have strong self-esteem. They demand independence and don't like the discipline of others. They are the center and emperor of the family, and their criticism of their parents is often "disrespect", not to mention that we are teachers. If the teacher goes her own way, she will be hurt. Therefore, when dealing with "disrespect", we must grasp the scale, be tolerant, and never punish those who cannot be punished. Former famous educator Suhomlinski said: "Sometimes the moral shock brought by tolerance is stronger than punishment." Therefore, the proposal of tolerance strategy is not only to relax the requirements for students, but also to be more strict; Not only did it not lower the job requirements of the class teacher, but it raised brand-new requirements and standards. Everything we do is for the purpose of education. Suhomlinski once said, "Education is for not teaching". The highest state of education is students' self-education, and punishment is precisely to achieve this state. Punishment is not an end, but a means of education, and the class teacher should grasp the scale of punishment. If we can achieve the goal of education through one thing, one sentence and one look, what is a little injustice for us? However, if you are not careful in your teaching career, you will inevitably encounter "disrespect" from students to teachers. So how can we avoid "disrespectful" incidents? I tried from the following aspects.

1, we should strengthen our self-cultivation and win the respect of students. As a teacher, we should strengthen our self-cultivation, improve our comprehensive quality, and truly be a teacher, so as to win the respect of students. Kalinin, an educator in the former Soviet Union, once said: "A teacher's world outlook, his personality, his life and his attitude towards every phenomenon will affect all students in one way or another. If the teacher is very prestigious, then the influence of this teacher will leave traces on some students. " It can be seen that the influence of teachers' words and deeds on students is profound and lasting. Therefore, teachers should master the key to open students' hearts in the process of education, and integrate new contents into teachers' and students' emotions according to their age, characteristics and psychological needs. Constantly improve their self-cultivation, be strict with themselves, be virtuous, be knowledgeable and enterprising, and influence and shape students through their good thoughts, personality, talents, emotions and will. Specifically, teachers should have lofty ideals and noble sentiments, be fair and honest, and treat each other as equals; Teachers should be professional and knowledgeable, love students and devote themselves to them; Teachers should have high language literacy, strong organizational ability, versatility and keep up with the development of the times. As a teacher, only by striving to strengthen self-cultivation can we win the respect of students. If the teacher's "Kung Fu" is just Li Kui jy's "Three Axes", it will be difficult to get students' lasting heartfelt admiration. It is also impossible to avoid the occurrence of "disrespect" incidents.

2. Learn to be tolerant and considerate. As the saying goes, "there is no fish in clear water, and there is no friend when people look at it." Teachers are always demanding of their students, pretending to be cats and mice, and finally leaving themselves alone. In the reality of education, we often see many lively students who are full of aura despite some shortcomings. After some strict teacher training and teaching, the effect is remarkable. These students become docile and quiet, from "dare to think, dare to say and dare to do" to "tell me what to say, don't do what I don't want to do" or simply "don't let you know what I did". Some teachers regard the effect of this transformation as an achievement, but seldom consider the students' future. In this way, the teacher just "squeezes" the students' personality into some kind of * * *, so it is not so terrible. What is terrible is that this kind of education of teachers inhibits the physical and mental development of students, hinders the improvement of students' intelligence and stifles the emergence of innovative talents. Therefore, in education, we should pay more attention to students, understand their pain, and put ourselves in their shoes. Discover or understand the psychological changes of students, so as to correctly understand and study students. Finding the root of students' mistakes, and then being tolerant, will inevitably sprinkle harmonious teacher's love on them, so that these late-blooming "flowers" can bathe in the sun and rain and grow up healthily. It is this love, this sincerity, this tolerance that makes them remember the teacher's love forever. They thank their teachers for their care and education. How can they "disrespect" their teachers?

3. Establish a good class spirit and create a harmonious collective atmosphere. As the saying goes, "I haven't known the taste of abalone for a long time." There is also an idiom "Whoever is near Zhu Zhechi is black". Used to describe that the objective environment has a great influence on people's growth and change. The occurrence of students' "disrespect" for teachers is also closely related to the class environment. Good class atmosphere comes from small groups. If a class wants to establish a healthy atmosphere, it is necessary to carry out group research. In class management, the head teacher should always pour his "kindness to others" love and class collective "cosmic friendship" into every student. In class groups, teachers should carefully create an atmosphere of equality, harmony and friendship, so that every student can feel the warmth of the group and feel his position in the class. Only by correctly guiding and setting people's expected goals can the sense of collective honor and collective will play its due role in the class. In addition, we should make full use of our positive personality, work style of treating each other as equals and humorous manners to arouse the enthusiasm of each student. Make positive personal behaviors, such as studying hard, observing discipline, respecting teachers, uniting classmates and loving labor, become role models. So as to form a healthy, good and harmonious class atmosphere. Under my operation, in today's class, my students rarely "disrespect" their teachers.

4. Praise students for being honest but not empty, and criticize students for being strict but not strict. Praise for students is not empty, and severe criticism is another way to achieve the best psychological distance between teachers and students. Students have feelings, thoughts and their own moral standards. "Praise" and "criticism" are two common educational means used by class teachers in the process of class management. Then we should consider how to use these two means to improve the relationship between teachers and students, harmonize the feelings between teachers and students, and achieve the best psychological distance between teachers and students. In education, we tend to favor the underachievers and look down on them. The direct consequence of this practice is to cultivate the unhealthy psychology of arrogance, and also aggravate the rebellious psychology of underachievers who are not easy to accept criticism and education. In this way, it is impossible to occupy its due position in the hearts of gifted students and poor students. Therefore, when educating students, we should be good at using the double-edged sword of "praise" and "criticism", grasp a good sense of proportion, praise gifted students appropriately and moderately, so as to achieve the purpose of encouragement and spur, and avoid excessive praise and exaggeration. When criticizing underachievers, don't be too harsh and harsh; Can't make a mountain out of a molehill, catch the wind and catch the shadow; Students' privacy and physical defects should not be involved, and the purpose of criticism and education should not be achieved by attacking students' self-esteem. Instead, it is necessary to make pertinent criticism, present facts, be reasonable and well-founded, so that students can accept criticism with conviction, truly understand their mistakes and correct their shortcomings. It is best to adopt the method of "transposition" thinking from time to time, think about the method of dealing with problems from the perspective of students, and weigh the philosophy of "one inch long and one foot short" to avoid the occurrence of excessive behavior and make students psychologically acceptable. Students occasionally make mistakes. As long as you are awakened by the hints and instructions of the class teacher, you don't have to blame the students. It is better to gently touch his head and pat him on the shoulder. This is a good medicine to urge people to correct and encourage people to make progress without hurting students' self-esteem. As Teacher Wei Shusheng said, "We should cherish the shining light in students' hearts and illuminate their darkness with our own light. "After such an attempt, when I was a class teacher, there were very few incidents of students' disrespect. I think, if the head teacher can do these things well in his daily work, then the students will have sincere respect for the head teacher, and the "disrespectful" incidents will be less and less, or even never happen again.

Of course, nine times out of ten, there are always unpleasant things in life. In our teaching life, it is inevitable to meet some different students, who deliberately provoke the teacher, or want to play a trick on the teacher, or play an excessive joke on the teacher. At this time, as spiritual educators, we should remember what we teach our students. Don't we often teach our children to learn to be calm? It is not always said that a calm person's mind is like a vast and far-reaching sea, because it holds up the glittering and translucent jade waves; It's a boat with white sails, and it's a fishing song that braves the wind and waves. No matter how overwhelming the dead leaves blown from the coast are, they will always sink to the bottom of the sea in the purification of the sea, and will not pollute the calm and charm of the sea at all. So in the face of students' little disrespect, should we also face it calmly? Should we really pretend to be a "teacher" and despise the "disrespect" of students?