Is there any story that can make girls laugh? Asking for an article. Thanks!

Is there any story that can make girls laugh? Asking for an article. Thanks!

1. *** coaxed the child to sleep with your grandpa at night. The child did not want to go, and *** said: If you don’t want to go, I will go. Grandpa said sternly from the side: Educate children to be honest. You can't coax children and old people at the same time.

2. There is an auto parts factory, which has been in disrepair for a long time; parts: word has become; cow An old man took a cow and said; the car parts factory came to match the cow, the worst I need a tractor!

3. A farmer drove a donkey into the city and met a rogue. The rogue asked: Have you eaten? The farmer said: Yes. The rogue: I asked about the donkey. When the farmer heard this, Turn around and slap the donkey twice: Damn, I didn’t say anything about my relatives in the city.

4. I saw a girl in the Internet cafe, wow! She is a beautiful sister!

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After hesitating for a long time, I finally plucked up the courage to walk next to her and whispered: Can I talk to you?

MM actually shouted: No! I won’t sleep with you!

Everyone in the Internet cafe was staring at us. I was very embarrassed, blushed and said nothing, and returned to my seat.

After a while, the girl came to me and whispered: I'm sorry... I just wanted to test people's reactions in extremely embarrassing situations. I shouted: What do you want three hundred yuan? Too expensive!

5. Nine of the ten households in the community have anti-theft doors installed, and only one does not. One day, all nine households were burglarized, and only this one did not. The household escaped, and the thief wrote on the door: "Don't worry about me, and I won't worry about you!" "

6. On the bus, the old lady was afraid that she would ask questions at every stop she passed. After the bus arrived at a certain stop, she kept poking the driver with her umbrella: "Is this an exhibition center? Driver: "No, these are ribs!" ”

7. A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man walking towards her with open arms, making a hug, and stepped forward with a kick. The man fell to the ground and cried loudly, saying: It’s the third piece of cake. , who did I offend? Is it so difficult to bring a piece of glass home?

8. In the past, when the exam teacher handed out papers, the girl behind took an extra one and shouted, "Teacher, I have it." , I have it.” Then the boy sitting next to him said, “It’s mine, it’s mine.” The whole class was shocked~~~

9. At night, a drunkard banged on the street light pole, and passers-by said: What the fuck? ? Drunkard: Knocked on the door, but my wife wouldn’t open it. Passerby: Knock slowly, your wife must be at home. Look, the light is still on!

10. Early this morning, a mouse accidentally opened the door. When he entered a flower shop and was chased by a cat, the mouse found that there was no way to escape, so he picked up a rose and prepared to resist. When the cat saw it, he immediately lowered his head and said in shame: Damn it, this is too sudden. Is there any software I can give you? Add phonetic notation to an article

Download the novel reader from Huazhicheng. After adding the article, right-click on the article with the title. You can add phonetic notation there in the editor. There are phonetic notation for the full text and selected text.

The effect is as follows:

Nong (nong2) calendar (li4) eight (ba1) month (yue4) ten (shi2) eight (ba1), Zhejiang (zhe4) Jiang (jiang1) Hai (hai3) Ning (ning2) Yan (yan2) Is there any website where I can write an article and the article appears on multiple websites at the same time? Thank you. .

Where can I find one? Ah, you can sign up for multiple websites and repost it yourself. Are there any stories that can make girls laugh?

These are all improvised. There are no specific jokes. When you tell a joke, it depends on the timing and the environment. Is there any software or website that can read an article in English?

Google online translation website

Is there any file that can quickly calculate the number of words in an article?

Poster , Word has this function.

You can see the word count directly by clicking "Tools" on the menu bar. /p>

or word2007.

The word count can be displayed directly at the bottom. Is there any software that can find a word from an article?

Yes, the txt is about any funny articles

Essay on "zero" score in the college entrance examination---Rabbit, you are so stupid!

2009-08- 13 07:50

The following essay received a zero score in this year's college entrance examination. I deleted a few curse words. It is actually a very good essay. It was awarded a zero score. It is obviously very wrong. So we publish it here for public comment. On the one hand, we fight for the rights and interests of candidates, and on the other hand, we also let everyone understand the inspiring and true inner spiritual nature of the younger generation.

The college entrance examination essay topic is:

Read the materials below and write an article of no less than 800 words according to the requirements.

The rabbit is the sprint champion of all previous small animal games, but it can't swim. Once, a rabbit was chased to the river by a wolf and was almost caught. For the all-round development of small animals, the Animal Management Bureau sends little rabbits to swimming training classes. There are also puppies, turtles and squirrels in the same class. The puppies and turtles learned to swim and gained another skill, and they were very happy; the rabbits and squirrels took a long time to learn how to swim and were very distressed. The coach of the training class, Wild Duck, said: "I can swim on two legs, but you can't swim on four legs? 90% of success comes from sweat. Come on! Xiaxia!"

Critic Frog sighed: " Rabbits are good at running! Why only train for weaknesses without developing special skills? "The thinker Xianhe said: "Survival requires more than one skill! If a rabbit can't learn to swim, it can learn to climb trees."

Essay on zero score in the college entrance examination

Rabbit, you are so stupid

Rabbit, Rabbit, after reading this report, I can’t help but give you a big word from the bottom of my heart: stupid!

You don’t even think about it, what does the Animal Management Bureau do? Manage animals! Are wolves animals? You were almost eaten by him, why didn't the Administration even fart? Why not punish the wolf but force the rabbit to learn how to swim? If the Administration usually upholds justice, why would there be a wolf chasing a rabbit? Silly rabbit!

If the wolf chases you to the river, the administration will trick you into signing up for a swimming class. The next time the wolf chases you to the cliff, will he also trick you into signing up for a flying class? Could it be that the wolf is chasing you just to scare you into enrolling in this class or that class? Is there any hidden secret between the wolf and the director of the administration? Do you have any brains? Silly rabbit!

If you say you are stupid, you are stupid. Do you know who runs this training class? Opened by the administration! Coach Duck is the brother-in-law of the bastard director! You also pay them training fees. Also "90% sweat, come on! Gaga!", bah! He is a duck, and you are also a duck? Don't you think about it, your family has never been able to swim since your grandfather's generation, but his administration can teach you how to swim after only a few days of classes? Is this consistent with rabbit sentiment? Didn’t your training fees go to waste? There are also Brazilian tortoises and golden retrievers. You are even more stupid. You are born to know how to swim. Why are you spending so much money just to get a certificate? Can he not let you swim without a certificate? If you don't have a certificate, the wolf will eat you for nothing? Speaking of which, I have to talk about you, Golden Retriever. You are also a famous dog after all. When faced with bad guys, you just know how to run away, and you spend money to learn how to be a drowned dog. Aren't you ashamed?

In the face of infringement by lawless elements, why doesn’t the Administration encourage you to unite and resist, but instead learn how to escape? Facing the threat of wolves, now it is not a matter of learning to swim, nor a matter of versatile and comprehensive development, but a matter of right and wrong of survival! Why learn to swim when your life is gone? Vegetarian meals with corpses, I don’t think there is any need for this Animal Control Bureau to exist! Administrative inaction is associating with the wolf, silly rabbit!

Rabbit, I’m scolding you because you don’t live up to your expectations. Can you have some sense of independence? What others say is what others say. The duck said, "I can swim on two legs, but you can't swim on four legs?" Is that a human saying? According to this, the centipede swims the fastest. "90% of success comes from sweat", bah! Is it considered successful for him to be a duck? Is it successful to be a duck? Just follow him, silly rabbit!

And those two experts, these elites will become trumpeters when they are full.

I annoyed that toad when he jumped out in tears last year, "But at the moment, you can't be impatient, because there are more critical things" - isn't this what he said last year? Now that the wolf crisis is occurring, is it considered a “more critical matter”? He jumped out to this weakness and his specialty again. This is called diverting attention and muddying the waters! Silly rabbit!

The crane said more ***, "Survival requires more than one skill! If a rabbit can't learn to swim, it must learn to dig holes." Fart, you have been chased to the river, is it too late to dig a hole now? Just believe what the experts say, silly rabbit!

Is it your rabbit’s fault that the wolf chases you away? Why didn't you report it? If such bad guys are not eradicated, will you still be good? When learning to swim, can I afford to hide if I can’t offend you? Let me tell you, dogs can paddle and wolves can swim! The wolf is the ancestor of the dog! There's no point in signing up for class. Next time you go out, you'd better bring a pedicure knife!

Listen to me, silly rabbit!

I have seen it before and thought it was quite funny... Please write an article titled What Li Kaixia wrote to girls. Thank you.

Dear girls:

You must find something besides love that can make you stand on the earth with both feet. The most important thing for you to find a way to make a living is a way that makes you happy, and it's not too late to think about it now. You must gradually transform those floating thoughts into clear ideas and simple words. Gorgeous and floating are not easy to last. You have to know that thoughts, realm, soul, spirit and wisdom are what are important.

Don’t read too much of the writings of female writers who are in the same boat as you. Don't be trivial and be patient***. Don't just write whatever comes to mind. Don't be too sentimental or touched. I want you to believe in these toothless words like warmth, beauty, trust, dignity, and strength. I don’t want you to be decadent, empty, confused, ruin yourself, and hurt others. I don't want you to make a mess of yourself.

Control your emotions. Not just anyone can have it. Experiencing life is another thing, and it does not mean depravity and indulgence. Never agree with those pretending to be cool and alternative. They are excuses for people who have nothing to do. Real coolness is on the inside. You have to have a strong heart. You must have the belief that you will not be tortured or surrendered no matter how time goes by. It’s not because I’m in an ivory tower that I say I love the world. It’s because you still want to say such things after knowing how dark, dirty, and ugly things are outside. Love well and live well. Youth is so short, don’t lament about old age. You can stop and rest occasionally, but don't squat down and look around. When walking down a path, remember not to look back.

When you feel sad and wronged, cry loudly. After crying, wash your face, pat it, and give yourself a smile.

Give yourself a lofty future and goal. Remember to look up at the sky often, especially at night when the sky is clear. Remember to look at your feet when you look up at the sky.

Don’t trust people who use tricks in love. Don't use bad words when breaking up. Learn your lesson, but don’t regret it. Regret is useless. Don't do things like tearing up photos, burning letters, and tearing up diaries that people only do in third-rate love TV dramas.

Believe in love. I believe that a good man will eventually find you in the vast sea of ??people.

If you can’t find the answer, don’t think about it anymore, and don’t set yourself up for a sad trap.

You cannot hate this world. Because you love it so much it won't let you down.

Love material things, appropriately. Always know that the spirit is more important. What is more beautiful than those famous watches, famous brands, and fashionable clothes is yourself. No matter how exquisite the makeup is, it cannot compare to a healthy and innocent smile.

Don’t look down on working people. Don't be ashamed of labor. The land is not dirty and the smell of sweat is not unpleasant. Respect those who seem to be in a worse situation than you. Always be considerate of those living at the bottom, because our loved ones are among these people. We are not delicate.

Don’t underestimate a penny. You might as well go and earn it yourself.

When you are hurt by a friend, don’t doubt your friendship, but beware of those who betray you. Forgive, but don't forget. Keep a bit of innocence and childishness in your life, and maintain some chivalrous feelings towards your friends.

Girls who have little schemes are cute, but don’t use them in intrigues, it will be very tiring.

Whether we like something or not cannot be proven by words, because it exists in our hearts.

Don’t be too high-profile, as being high-profile can easily cause trouble. But don't be too low-key. Be tough when you should be tough, but never be aggressive.

Sympathize with those who are poorer and weaker than you, be willing to help others, and always have good thoughts and compassion, which will make you noble.

Be kind to yourself and others. You will feel much more relaxed when you are not angry or upset over small disappointments.

Being happy, cheerful, tough, and warm has nothing to do with personality.

I'm worried that you are too silent. Sometimes you have to be tougher. When you are bullied, you must take it back! But don't hold grudges.

Finally, forgive the world and yourself. Tell yourself that you deserve the best. A touching story that makes girls laugh

A girl went out one day and found a dead fish at the door. It was very unlucky, so she threw it into the trash can in disgust. The next morning she found another dead fish, so she made a decision. I decided to stand nearby and observe the next day. After a while, a cat placed another dead fish at the door. Seeing this, the girl thought of a poor cat she had saved.

No matter what you do, See, it has always given you what it thinks is best