Do the elderly at home have the responsibility to help with the children? What is the reason?

Should parents help their children with their children? Faced with this topic, it is estimated that many parents can't finish talking for three days and three nights.

According to incomplete statistics,

About 60% families in China have elderly people to help with their children. Moreover, the phenomenon of the elderly helping with their babies is particularly obvious in rural areas.

0 1, four views that parents should take care of their children:

There are probably four views that old people should help their children with their children.

The first type: parents have time.

Some children think that their parents are retired and they have plenty of time to help take care of their children. One is to kill time, and the other is to help them reduce their stress. Have the best of both worlds, why not? As someone said, you have nothing to do. What's wrong with babysitting for me? ?

The second type: other people's children are brought by the elderly, so you should also bring them.

Some children see other people's children, all brought by grandparents, and their own children must be brought by the elderly.

The third type: children are urged by the elderly, so the elderly bring them.

There is a saying: there are three kinds of unfilial, and childless is great. After their children get married, many old people urge their children to have children and enjoy family happiness, so they say to their children: You just care about your life and don't have to worry about taking care of your children. We are still in good health, so we will take it.

When a child has a child, he will say:? Aren't you urging me to have a baby? Don't you want to have grandchildren? For this sentence, let the old man take care of the children, and the old man has to take care of them.

The fourth type: no choice but to ask the elderly for help.

Some people have no choice but to quit their jobs and take care of their children at home, but the economic conditions do not allow them. Family income simply cannot afford to raise children, let alone afford a nanny. There is really no way, so we have to ask the old man to help with the children.

Basically, these four concepts make many children take it for granted that the elderly help with the children. Moreover, where the elderly did not do well, they also complained that the responsibility for poor education of children was pushed to the elderly, which made the elderly feel chilling.

02. Cousin who helps with the children.

In the second month after serving, I helped to take care of the children.

My cousin is retired, and she plans to take advantage of her good health to travel with her sisters more, see the great rivers and mountains of the motherland, and fulfill her dream when she was young.

But the plan was broken after going out a few times before. The daughter quietly gave birth to a child and let her cousin wait on her. I quietly went to college in other places. After graduating from college, I went to work in other places, got married and settled down with my husband.

I am pregnant quietly and have a baby. My mother-in-law is in poor health and can't wait until next month. Just as my cousin retired, I quietly asked her to go. My cousin left without saying anything.

After taking Jingyue, my cousin continued to stay there to help Jingyue take care of the children. I have been helping to take my children quietly until I was three years old and didn't come back until I went to kindergarten.

Bring Dabao up, and then bring Bauer up.

My cousin is back. I thought I could enjoy my old age and go out to play. I called my cousin quietly: I have a second child, let my cousin go.

No choice, my cousin had to go. Actually, my cousin has high blood pressure and likes drinking. At home, my cousin can restrict and remind him not to drink. Cousin wants her to go to a quiet home together, but cousin says she is not used to it and doesn't want to go. Cousin is really worried about cousin, but her daughter needs her and wants to go if she doesn't want to.

Cousin went to Jingjing's house to take care of her confinement. Sometimes, she has to send Dabao to school. She was too tired, but she still gritted her teeth.

Once I watched a video with my cousin, I saw that my cousin was very tired and much older.

My cousin continued to help quietly send Bauer to kindergarten and came back once in the middle. My cousin had a big gastrointestinal problem and rested at home for two months.

There are many parents like cousins who were very busy and worried about their children when they were young. They think they have worked hard for half their lives, and now they are retired and can have free time, but they still have to take care of their children and become the main force to take care of them.

According to the survey, 60%-70% of children under two and a half years old are taken care of by grandparents, and 40% after three years old.

The reporter randomly selected 12 elderly people for interviews. More than 70% of the elderly said that it is very tiring to bring a baby, but they are unable to bring another one.

Old people with babies are under great pressure.

Quietly let my cousin take Bauer. My cousin is reluctant. When I bring Dabao, I am often complained by my daughter, because the concept of education is different from quietness. Because she is her own daughter, she doesn't care even if she is uncomfortable.

But sometimes, the son-in-law is dissatisfied and shows his face, which makes his cousin feel wronged. Sometimes, I am so angry that I can't sleep well and can't eat, which leads to a big problem in my stomach.

Some doctors say that 30% of the elderly who suffer from insomnia every day are caused by taking care of their children and emotional anxiety. The pressure on the elderly to take care of their children is increasing, and the number of elderly people with emotional disorders has increased significantly.

As parents, they have worked hard to bring up their children. Now that I am retired, I have time and conditions to enjoy my old age, but I have to give up my old age for my children and take pains to help take care of them.

03. Should parents help their children? There are three things that children should understand.

So, whether parents are willing to help their children or not, should they bring them? As a child, there are three things to understand

First, I am grateful to my parents for taking care of my children.

First of all, you understand that the elderly have the ability to help the baby and are willing to help you, which is mutual affection; It is my duty not to help you. Parents have the responsibility and obligation to raise their children, but it is not their responsibility and obligation to raise the next generation.

Therefore, children should be grateful to the elderly for helping to take care of their children, rather than taking it for granted.

Second, in the process of the elderly helping to take care of children, actively communicate and complain less.

In the process of taking care of children, the elderly have unscientific methods or doting behaviors. Children should communicate with the elderly in good faith. They must love their children, just because their ideas or ways are wrong. So, tell them patiently and don't criticize.

Third, if conditions permit, it is best for parents to bring their own.

Because, in the first few years of a child's life, it is the most important period for the child to form an attachment relationship with his parents, and it is also the period for the formation of personality and habits. The companionship of parents is the most important. If you miss those years, even if it takes more than ten years, decades or even a lifetime in the future, it may not be able to make up for and change.

Therefore, if conditions permit, it is best for the mother to take care of the children alone. Of course, she needs her father's help. In this way, when the mother is tired and feels her husband's understanding, she won't hold a grudge if the old man doesn't help with the children.

Writer Bi Shumin's essay "filial piety is priceless", there is a saying:

When your parents were alive, you knew where you came from; But when your parents are gone, the only way left in your life leads to death.

Parents are the most important people in our lives. I hope every parent can spend his old age healthily.