Why is there a little mood fluctuation?

Why is there a little mood fluctuation?

Let's talk about the causes of anxiety and attachment.

Children depend entirely on their mothers for safety and survival in infancy. If the mother sometimes pays a lot and sometimes pays a little in the process of meeting the needs, it will amplify the child's desire to seek help and rely more on the mother's help, thus deepening the child's concern for the other half in the intimate relationship and evolving into an excessive dependence.

This over-dependence becomes anxious attachment in the intimate relationship of adulthood. In addition to this reason, I have also had the experience of hot and cold feelings, or cold and violent derailment. It will also show anxious attachment.

Essentially, this is a sense of insecurity. Because they are extremely sensitive to potential threats in their relationship, they will use anger/anxiety/alienation/indifference to cover up their fear of being abandoned. However, the anxious attachment object will find it difficult to find the anxious inner desire for attention and care because of the interference of these confusing superficial emotions.

Simply put, once the accessory system is triggered, the "activation policy" will be turned on. That is, all thoughts point to the same goal, that is, to keep a distance from the attached object. Only by being close to your lover and getting a response can you alleviate your anxiety.

However, due to the large fluctuation of anxiety, it also puts a lot of pressure on your partner invisibly. Under this pressure, he can't understand you, can't give a correct response, and can't calm your emotions.

It even causes your partner to avoid you, or stimulates the avoidance defense of avoiding your partner (there is another offensive defense).

Therefore, first understand this emotion and express your needs in the right way.

Afraid of my partner leaving, worried about whether the other person loves me or not. These are all manifestations of low self-worth. He chose you at the beginning, which shows that you have unique attraction. Be good at discovering your own strengths and looking for evidence that he loves you.

Does he really just don't want to express his love? Or because he couldn't express it (at first). There are many ways to express love, such as coming back from overtime to have a midnight snack, traveling with you during the holiday, and reminding me when the temperature drops ... These are all expressions of love.

When you feel unsafe, you should think backwards. Think of the conclusive evidence that he loves you, not the imaginative imagination. Some girls say that her boyfriend is very curtilage and doesn't go out at night. One day, the number of WeChat steps suddenly increased by 500. She cried and called to ask where the other party was. Boyfriend said, "I just want to eat a bowl of Daoxiao Noodles!" " Surprise!

It is because of over-sensitivity that your brain preconceived a conclusion that he must be doing something bad! ! When you think like this, all the information captured tends to support this assertion. Unreasonable information is "rationalized" by the brain.

So, when you realize that you have started to make wild guesses, you should distract this attention. Guarding a healthy relationship is not at the expense of yourself, but always at the bottom line and centered on your partner. But self-centered, through continuous improvement of self-worth, to provide higher value for partners.