In memory of my grandfather

? It is high time to write such a passage in memory of my beloved and deeply missed grandfather! I firmly believe that he also loves me deeply and is proud of me! However, he loves me so much and is proud of me, but I can't get to his bed before he dies and let him take one last look at me! ! He left with regret, and I left with guilt and regret, until now, maybe forever! It will never be redeemed!

Grandpa's life was written down when I was young, and I listened to his father. Grandpa was born in 1922,11(1950, the last year of Xinhai, that is, the lunar calendar1September 23rd, 922) and died on a certain day in April 2007. He was born in a poor family with five brothers and three sisters. He is the third, with a sister and a brother. Grandpa's name fully embodies the simple feelings of farmers: Zhu Yushun. When he was young, he was tall and burly. I remember when I was in primary school, he seemed a little taller than my father. Probably because his family was poor, he got married very late. When my grandfather was 28 years old, his first child, my father, was born, followed by my aunt, my second aunt and my uncle who died young.

When my father was thirteen or fourteen, my grandmother died of illness. Grandpa had to give away his youngest son, who was only three or four months old at that time. I heard that this little uncle died of illness soon after giving him away. Since then, grandpa has supported three children by farming alone. He himself only stayed in a private school for one year. When I was very young, he told me a very elegant sentence, "One is ten, ten is hundred, and a hundred is thousand" or "At the beginning of life, human nature is good". It was not until one day that I became a mother that I realized that this was a passage from The Amethyst. He once had a brilliant life experience because he knew a few words, that is, he served as the minister of the village armed forces in the land reform movement in the 1950 s. I am not sure how big that position was at that time. However, I am sure that this is the most brilliant and proud period of his life. Because from a very young age, I often heard him say how much people in the same village respected him. Wherever he goes, others respect his name or "Brother Zhu". No matter what happens to anyone, he should be invited to preside over it. Even if a family kills a pig at home, quietly ask him to come over for a drink at night. As soon as he talked about this experience, grandpa was in high spirits. Although I have heard this story countless times, I always listen patiently and never interrupt, just like hearing it for the first time.

? In the hard years after grandma's death, labor was scarce. I don't know what the driving force is. Grandpa gritted his teeth and insisted on supporting his father to finish the county key high school, and then joined the army at the age of 18. My little aunt also studied until she graduated from junior high school. I can't imagine that in that era of extreme hardship and poverty, it was willpower and thought that made grandpa make such a great feat. Dad was the only two people in our village who went to the county key high school in the 1960 s, and then gloriously joined the army, especially the navy. After my father joined the army, he worked as a national cadre in a relatively remote and poor village with the working group for many years, and later he was transferred back to work in the county food company, which is regarded as a serious national cadre. My little aunt is also the one with the highest education among the girls born in the sixties in the village. It is said that she was particularly clever at reading and could have gone to high school, but she gave up because her family really couldn't support her. Only my aunt has been responsible for making a fire, cooking and doing housework and taking care of other people's lives since she was seven or eight years old for this family. Grandpa has always felt guilty about this matter and nagged many times. He felt that menstruation had been wronged.

Grandpa should miss grandma very much. He has been using two small wooden cabinets and a wooden box to store personal items such as clothes, a little pocket money given by his younger generation during the Chinese New Year holidays, and some brown sugar, ice ponds and canned food brought to him by his relatives during the Chinese New Year. The box body is painted purplish red, and the four corners are inlaid with cloud-shaped copper sheets, with lantern-shaped copper sheet locks and padlocks all year round. When I was a child, he told me that he said my grandmother brought a dowry. Once when he opened the box and gave each of my sister and brother a rock candy, I also found a black cloth wallet with a pattern embroidered inside. He said grandma did it. He said that grandma's surname was Chen and her name was Chen. Grandpa said that she was a very virtuous person, and gave an example: Grandma knew that she had body odor, and when the whole village worked together in a large rural group, she always hid herself, fearing that the bad taste would make others uncomfortable. As a child, I knew that in grandpa's time, few women had their own names. So I think my grandmother is a cultured person. Although I have never met her, I was born with a feeling of kindness and love for her.

Grandpa is an ordinary farmer after all, so the idea of son preference still exists. My mother was engaged to my father when she was fourteen, when my father just turned eighteen. Before joining the army, my aunt was a matchmaker. After ten years of engagement, my father got married while working in the countryside. My father received a new education and was very open-minded. When I was born, my father insisted on being sent to the county hospital for delivery. My mother told me that my grandfather once opposed my father sending my mother to the county hospital. Later, when I heard that a girl was born, I was disappointed and said angrily, "I expected the gourd to be as big as the sky, but I didn't expect it to bloom." Anyway, grandpa was disappointed when I was born. In the 1970s, not only the elders were disappointed to have daughters, but the neighbors also compared whether several sisters-in-law gave birth to boys or girls, which was a custom in my hometown. My father is the most promising of his cousin's twenty uncles and aunts. Not only did he study well, but he also joined the navy. He can play everything in the army, play everything and sing everything. He participated in the swimming competition in the county on behalf of the village and won the second place in the county. After the army retired, he arranged to be a national cadre in the countryside for several years, and then returned to the county food company. In the 1970s, when materials were scarce, the job of food companies was a fat job. Grandpa's fourth and fifth brothers have read some books and are more knowledgeable than grandpa. Grandpa four is a competitive person, or the village captain, and he has the final say in big and small matters. Reading is not for children to decide, so I feel a little uncomfortable about my father's promising career and becoming a national cadre. The fact that I was born finally made him feel comfortable. At that time, family planning had just begun, and state cadres were never allowed to have more children. So grandpa four vowed in public that I don't believe their family can have a son! ! This incident stimulated grandpa and deeply stimulated my father. Dad decided to have another one. Three years later, under the cover of my mother hiding everywhere, my sister was born! Born against national policy! Needless to say, grandpa's disappointment. The point is that dad insisted on not giving his sister away, so he returned to the countryside.

So I knew from an early age that grandpa didn't like girls. I have also seen since I was a child that grandparents, grandmothers, and mothers' sisters-in-law often make fun of their mothers when they quarrel over some trivial matters at their parents' home. She can only have daughters, not sons. Dad is highly educated. He never blames his mother for giving birth to a daughter, and he is embarrassed to quarrel with his neighbors for his mother. Dad is open-minded and ambitious, and he is very popular in the village He has always encouraged me to be self-reliant since I was a child. No matter what happens, you must reason with me. I remember when I was in the second grade, I discussed with him whether capitalism would be realized. He encouraged me to tell my truth and my thoughts instead of preaching to me. He always encourages me, proudly introduces me to all my neighbors, comrades-in-arms, classmates and friends, praises my ability, intelligence and hard work, and never scolds me. Later, by chance, my father made a friend during the home team of the working group. Their second child is a son, and the fortune teller said that this child has a conflict with his father's life and must be given away. It happened that my father went to their village on business, and they always respected my father's character and cultural accomplishment. In this way, my brother came to our house. My father always told me to learn to carry forward the style and be humble to my younger brothers and sisters in everything. My mother is uneducated, kind-hearted, strong-willed, straightforward and impetuous, and can't get sand in her eyes. It is easy for her parents to have conflicts with her neighbors because of various short-term things. So I often see that when my mother is bullied by others, my father never helps me, and always advises my mother to learn patience and humility. At this time, the most important brick factory venture in my father's life ended in failure, and the whole family was burdened with heavy debts. Every holiday, the debt collectors at home don't even have a place to sit. In such an environment where one side is seawater and the other side is flame, my young mind matures and grows rapidly. Self-esteem, shame, honor and responsibility have taken root in my heart. I have a strong desire to study hard and feel proud of my parents. I want to wait until one day when I grow up and have ambition, so naturally no one will bully my mother! ! Dad doesn't have to work so hard to keep the house running.

Although my mother told me that my grandfather didn't like me when I was born, I felt that he loved me. After the failure of starting a business, my father is responsible for raising fish seedlings to earn money, paying off debts and cultivating the three of us to study; My mother is in charge of housework and takes care of our three sisters. Grandpa is in charge of farm work in the fields inside and outside the house. Grandpa is good at cleaning fields. In order to make the land fertile, grandpa often burns his own soil and dung, that is, all kinds of pig, cow and sheep dung are piled together for fermentation, and then covered with straw and lit. After this fertilizer is put into the ground, no one who walks barefoot will be infected by parasites. Grandpa is very hardworking and works in the fields before dawn every day. Often, my brothers and sisters and I just get up and find grandpa has come back from the field, his trouser legs are soaked with dew, and he is carrying a hoe and a big basket of fresh vegetables. Grandpa's varicose veins on his legs are very serious because of his long-term work. The blood vessels are bulging and winding, which looks terrible. Occasionally, he came back from the paddy field with a swollen leech crawling on his leg, with blood. In my memory, leeches are the creatures I fear most. So when I was young, my sisters and I always thought there were many swollen leeches on grandpa's legs. I often get up the courage to take out the leeches and squeeze them around grandpa's calf with my little finger. Grandpa often takes me to work in the fields and tells me how to plant this thing, when to sow and when to harvest it; Which is a weed and which is a wheat seedling. He almost never scolds me. He always tells me some old sayings, stories about Chairman Mao and Zhu De, stories about the agrarian revolution, and occasionally jokes about some rural stories. I often follow him to water the fields and pick vegetables. When they dig sweet potatoes and peanuts, we children are there to help pick them up. Grandpa is a good hand at farming. Our land is always the best in the village. You can feed the pigs the dishes you can't finish at home. You can also sell sweet potatoes and soybeans; Vegetables are often inexhaustible. From the first grade of primary school, we accompanied our mother to pick vegetables and sell them in the canteens of nearby hospitals, grain management offices, schools, banks and machinery factories. Mom is responsible for weighing, I am responsible for bookkeeping, and if others need it, I am also responsible for writing receipts and issuing manual invoices. After the third grade, you need to do business independently and work-study programs. My sister is in charge of this accounting and invoicing. All the crops planted in grandpa's field were turned over to the state. Only when selling soybeans will grandpa leave five yuan as pocket money. His main expense is haircut, usually once a month and a half to two months. Ultra-fine products, a man with a shaved head, walked down the street with a pole to cut the old man's hair. We thought it was very interesting. I always look around the shaved head, especially like watching the master lick the leather cloth twice with a razor and then continue shaving. Occasionally grandpa will buy a bottle of eye drops. His eyes have never been very good. Grandpa has asthma in winter, often coughs and coughs up a lot of thick phlegm. Grandpa is very frugal, and he can't bear to wear a pair of military leather shoes for more than ten years. Later, my aunt's life gradually improved, and she made handmade cotton shoes for grandpa, who felt particularly proud and reluctant to wear them. It was not until I grew up that he put it on when he came to visit. His socks have been mended and mended. This job is my aunt's specialty. She can always replace the original wiring socks with a pair of shoe pads, and grandpa can wear them for several years. His trousers outside were torn, so he cut off his trouser legs and wore them as shorts. ? In winter, grandpa uses an old oven made of wood to keep warm. It was so cold that we hid in the quilt and refused to get up. Grandpa helps us warm our clothes in the oven. My sister or brother and I often sit on the handle of his oven and keep warm with him. It won't burn your ass, but it will be warm! What grandpa can't stand most is wasting food. I remember when I was young, my sister and brother were scolded for wasting food.

I have been working and studying since I was 9 years old with the encouragement of my father. During the summer vacation from the second day to the third day, my first job was selling popsicles. My family is really poor, or maybe my father is afraid that I can't hold on, so he won't buy a popsicle bottle. My popsicle bottle is rented for 70 cents a day, and it's not very warm. You can hold 25~26 popsicles at a time. Popsicle wholesale 3.5 cents/root, retail 5.5 cents, can also be 6 cents. I need to run fast, or the last few will melt, and there will be a discount or no one will buy them. That popsicle bottle is about eight or nine pounds when it is full. I carry it every day and walk back and forth along the asphalt road. Units, villages, construction sites and fields on both sides of the road are all good places for me to publicize. I clearly remember earning eighty-seven cents on the first day. I go out after breakfast at 7 o'clock every morning, and it's always around 12: 30 at noon. I go home for dinner and have a rest. My body is covered with prickly heat, which itches! ! Grandpa rubbed prickly heat powder on me and tickled me. Sometimes it itches so much that I will show my back and rub it on the rough red brick wall at home. Under normal circumstances, I can sell three bottles of popsicles a day. I didn't want to eat that kind of melted popsicle with my brother and sister until it was dark at night. Do you remember if dad gave me the wholesale price of melting popsicles? In short, at that time, I didn't crave popsicles like most children. It was dark, grandpa cleaned the yard, sprinkled cold water and put a bamboo cool bed in the yard. My brother and sister and I were lying in a cool bed, and grandpa fanned us all at once with a cattail leaf fan. Fireflies twinkle in the bushes near the yard. It was late at night, and my parents urged us to go into the house to sleep. My brother and sister are still young and need the care of their parents, so I sleep with my grandfather. The first summer vacation, I was busy for a month and earned more than 20 yuan. After I paid the tuition fee of 10 yuan, I also paid more than 10. My mother took me to buy a new dress and shoes. I bought grandpa a swimming brand cigarette with more than two yuan. Grandpa was so happy when he got that cigarette! !

Growing up in a small environment has given me very good mathematical language expression and communication skills, so my academic performance has been very good since childhood! ! I have been taking part in the school's oral arithmetic competition since grade one. Since the second grade, he has represented the school in Chinese, mathematics, natural league, composition contest and mathematics contest in the county, and also participated in various competitions in Huanggang. Slowly, people in the village and outside know that my academic performance is good, and my grandfather is more and more proud of me. Maybe he saw my father's shadow in me again. In short, as long as I can remember, I haven't heard him say that a daughter is not as good as a son. Occasionally, when my mother and grandpa say angry words, they will also mention "I hope the gourd is as big as the sky, and I don't want the gourd not to bloom". Grandpa never talks. Grandpa, like dad, always praises me to everyone. Their praise put me under great pressure, and I didn't dare to relax at all in my studies, for fear of falling behind and disappointing them! In this way, I entered the county key high school and served as the monitor. Grandpa loves me more and more. Every year during the Spring Festival, my sister and brother take turns toasting him for his birthday. He always gives me a toast in a serious way.

1996, I finally got into Huazhong University of Science and Technology (later called Huazhong University of Science and Technology). That is the best university in our village in the past twenty years. Grandpa was very happy in a summer vacation. A table of wine was specially set at home, and my primary school head teacher, junior high school head teacher, all teachers of Gaozong, village head and village party secretary were invited to drink together. At the banquet, grandpa refused to sit down and insisted that I sit down. Two days before school, all the relatives and neighbors in our village came to our house to give gifts and congratulations! According to my opinion, all the gifts from the neighbors in the village have been returned, and all the gifts from relatives have been accepted. It was not until the night before the start of school that the family finally collected the tuition fees for the start of school and the living expenses for the first semester of 3650 yuan. Dad was anxious and tired about it and caught a bad cold. The next day, I will go to Wuhan for the first time. Mom was worried and sewed the money in my underwear. Grandpa knocked in and took out 10 yuan and 20 yuan's change from a black hand. A * * * 100 yuan, very seriously said to me: "Xiaohui, congratulations on your admission to the university. I am very happy. This is a token of my appreciation. I am very happy today, really happy! ! "I was moved to tears. I know that this money is his private savings for many years, and his friendship is more important than Mount Tai. I refused to accept anything, but grandpa insisted on giving it to me. The next day, I went to school. The whole village bought three rolls of 10,000-ring firecrackers, hung them on bamboo poles, and sent me all the way to the roadside. The light blue smoke of firecrackers curled up. Grandpa stood at the entrance of the village and waved excitedly, refusing to leave for a long time.

In the Spring Festival of my sophomore year, I wore very old and rustic clothes and met my junior high school classmates with my good friend Xiaoyan in the county. They only talked to Xiaoyan, but they didn't seem to see me. I'm hurt. I came back to tell my parents that it seems that what Grandpa said is really reasonable. Grandpa was very sad to hear the news. That night, I discussed with my father and sold the 180 kg of soybeans he planted this year, and all the money was used to buy clothes for me. A * * * more than 400 yuan. At that time, my monthly living expenses were only about 250 yuan. I've never bought such expensive clothes, so it's difficult to start at the moment. But grandpa insisted that I spend all my money. I bought my first expensive suit!

? In my last year of college, I took the initiative to find a boyfriend. When I heard that it was from the northeast, all the adults in my family opposed it. Grandpa's reason is that the northeast is very cold and that place is not suitable for life. But in the end, my whole family respected my decision, and later my boyfriend became my husband. 200 1 bringing my husband home for dinner for the first time. My husband and I toasted grandpa together. Grandpa is shaking with joy, so he must drink a toast when he picks up his glass. My husband sits on his right. Grandpa will touch the cup with him for a while, and then touch the cup. He doesn't know how to speak Mandarin. His eyes were full of smiles, tears of excitement and vague sentences. My husband dared not refuse and drank one cup after another. As a result, the northeast people were put down by our family. Many years later, I saw my husband and his colleagues drink two bottles of red wine at the year-end dinner. I always thought it was strange that he was drunk.

After graduation in 2000, I gave my grandfather 200 yuan pocket money every year to celebrate his birthday and Chinese New Year. Later the standard was raised to 500. Every time I send money to grandpa, grandpa says excitedly on the phone, "Xiaohui, I owe you a lot of trouble." I want to thank you. I wish you success in your work and good health! Make progress in learning and make progress every day. "Listen to grandpa said some very polite words, I am very touched, also understand him. He just wants to express his gratitude, but he doesn't know what to say. Then my work became busier and busier. Going home less and less. Every time I call home, my grandfather stays by, hoping to talk to me. During my pregnancy in 2006, my mother just had gallstone surgery. I want to take her to take care of me, improve my diet and recuperate my body. Grandpa had had a stroke for several years. Although it has recovered a little, it is still inconvenient to move. But he still agreed to let my mother come and take care of me. Originally, his mother wanted to send him to his aunt's house for a while, but he refused to go anywhere. I just want to live in my own home. My mother lived in my house for five months, and when she came home, she found grandpa's thin mouth was sharp! ! ? I heard that I had a son. Grandpa is more excited than anyone. He specially called me to congratulate him and wish his son a long and healthy life.

? After the Spring Festival in 2007, grandpa's health gradually declined. I've always wanted to go home and visit my grandfather. But my parents-in-law and husband always say that the child is nursing, so it is not convenient to take it back. If a person goes back for three or four days and breast milk goes back, the child will have nothing to eat. In short, my in-laws and my family don't agree with me to go home to see my grandfather. In this torment, I can only call my grandfather every day to say hello, send him money back, and let my parents take him to the hospital. Grandpa cares about me the most, and the person he trusts the most is me! He knows that only I can save him. When I had my first stroke, I sent him back to the hospital overnight by remittance. When grandpa was 80 years old, the cataract was really out of sight, so I sent money home for my parents to send him to the county hospital for surgery. Grandpa was in poor health before he died. I insist that my parents take him to the hospital. Finally, the doctor declined politely and asked us to take it home for an injection. In the last few days, I made a phone call every day, and I was anxious. On the one hand, my hungry son, on the other hand, is my dear grandfather.

A week before Grandpa left, my brother asked for leave to go home and take care of Grandpa. He told me on the phone that grandpa had only one thin hand and he carried him to the toilet. I feel so sad that I have been suffering all day. My parents-in-law and husband still won't let me go home. I ate in the canteen at noon this day and called home again. The fourth grandmother next door happened to be there. She told me, "Your grandfather is missing, waking up for a while, sleeping for a while, scratching his hands in the air, as if waiting for something!" ! "? My heart was completely out of control, and I walked out of the company with a plate in the canteen. I made up my mind that no matter who can stop me, my son will have plenty of time to love in the future, but grandpa will give me little time! ! I must go home! ! I must visit grandpa! ! I rushed to the office and asked Director He to arrange for the driver to take me directly to the North Station. I caught the only bus home that day. I kept calling home on the way and asked my parents to tell grandpa to wait for me. I'll be right back! !

? At half past ten in the evening, I finally got home. The living room at home is full of relatives. When my mother saw me, she cried and said, Xiaohui, grandpa is gone! ! Dad told me that grandpa left at 8: 40 that night. I came to his bed, touched grandpa's hand and cried silently, but I couldn't say anything. Except regret or regret! ! At the moment, my grandfather is quietly lying on his bed, a skinny little old man! ! The cheekbones are so thin that they are only skin and bones! No matter what I say, he can't hear anymore, he doesn't know anymore! !

? Before grandpa died, the cemetery he chose for himself was a hill facing west. This happens to be our home, a very sunny and dry place. Looking up is the most fertile piece of land in our family. In Tomb-Sweeping Day in 2008, I went home to visit my grandfather's grave. In front of his grave, I think of the dribs and drabs of the past, and tears of missing are like a spring! ! ? This year, the village concentrated on land planning, and the graves of our village were collectively moved to the village cemetery. Grandpa's grave is also among the demolition. From the moment I heard the news, my heart felt bad. Dad has been staying in the village to deal with this matter. When the cemetery was demolished in September, my father called me to tell me the general situation. I've been feeling terrible. I wonder if grandpa likes this new place. Last week, I had a strange dream. I saw grandpa in my dream. He told me there was a hole in his skull, and he gave me the wound he saw! ! His face is covered with dust, and I'm not afraid at all. I even twisted a hot towel to wipe his face! ! After I woke up, I thought about it. My grandfather probably gave it to me in a dream. When tearing down the cemetery, it is estimated that he was very uncomfortable or injured. I quickly called my father, hoping that he could burn incense for my grandfather! !

? Grandpa left, and I couldn't see him off. This is my eternal regret! ! I hope there will be no such regret in the future! !

—— This article was written on 20 13, 10 year1October 28th.