How to date offline?

Generally speaking, after chatting online to a certain extent, you can make a request.

There is a serious misunderstanding at present: invitation words. The so-called superstition in the invitation speech is a mistake made by the fraternity with low emotional intelligence.

If Fan Bingbing asks you out, will you come out even if the language is not bright?

If Xifeng asks you out, will you come out, even if you are proficient in words?

The so-called speech skills are just to save the energy of your original sentence in the sales/invitation and other links, and at the same time standardize, standardize and ISO the sales/invitation links. Even if you can talk, you can still sell what you should and what you shouldn't.

Many brothers who are superstitious about verbal communication and have low emotional intelligence think that verbal communication is a kind of magic. As long as you say the spell, the girl will go out with you like a demon. ...

Here's a more standardized process:

Confirm the interaction-vague invitation-interaction again-formal invitation

1, some interaction

This is necessary. Unless it is an occasion with a strong purpose, you must talk about it before making an appointment. What, you asked me when I should talk? How long are you talking and how many words are there? Sorry, it varies from person to person. What is EQ? Emotional intelligence is the ability to judge this thing by feeling. You are trying to quantify this. The essence is to replace EQ with your already low IQ.

Of course, it doesn't matter if you can't judge. If you feel the same, then you lose the vague invitation.

2. Fuzzy invitation

The so-called vague invitation is to casually throw a sentence "Let's have dinner together when you are free". "Are you interested in XX, have the opportunity to tell you face to face. Typing on WeChat is not clear at all. "

This is not a formal invitation, and there is not much pressure on the other party. The other party will have two answers:

Yeah, yeah.

Don't be complacent too early, the other party is just talking casually. There is still a long way to go before the invitation is successful.

Oh, we'll see/it's too early to meet.

Explain that the other party is still very sensitive to meeting. I suggest you take a step back and talk about it later. Don't force it, it will only strengthen the idea that the other person doesn't want to date.

In fact, emotional intelligence is such a little temptation and gradually refined.

Step 3 interact again

Don't determine the time and place immediately after the vague invitation is successful, wait for a while before talking about the rise.

4. Official invitation letter

If vague invitations only ask for directions, then formal invitations are the designation of specific time and place.

A formal invitation will be mixed with many objective factors, such as whether you are busy or not. Therefore, it must be considered from all aspects.

The taboo is that you are always free. You are free every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and you are also free on weekends. Waiting for the other person's good luck will make you look very depressed.

You'd better look busy (whether you are really busy or not), only the time of busy people is valuable.

For example, I often have this conversation here.

After the specific time is fixed, we can go to war.

Second, the way of dating

In the past, some people in Zhihu summarized many dating methods, such as watching movies, plays, musicals, visiting museums, going out for an outing, climbing mountains ... They said a lot, saying, is there an essential difference between watching a drama and watching a movie? Is there an essential difference between drinking coffee and eating dessert?

In my uncle's eyes, all men and women can't escape the following three ways.

1, communication class

For example, eating and drinking coffee is a face-to-face and chat-oriented way. Generally speaking, the first date is very suitable for this way. Strangers don't talk much and acquaintances don't talk much.

Correspondence appointments mainly occurred in the first two times.

2. Decoration category

For example, watching movies, musicals, concerts and so on. Basically, two people are sitting in the stands, and it is difficult for them to have substantive communication during this process (many first hand-holding will happen at this time). However, this dating method still has several very important functions:

Increase familiarity: although there is not much communication, after watching the movie, the familiarity will still rise compared with before;

Three-view test: after reading it, you can communicate with girls and understand each other's intelligence level, aesthetic level and three views. Of course, men with aesthetic defects do not look at IQ. For them, as long as they are good-looking, good-looking, good-looking ... they have not deeply screened women. For them, they just want to sleep, sleep, sleep. ...

They can't understand that it is extremely painful to sleep with a woman with mental defects and low aesthetics. ...

Generally speaking, the second date is a decorative date. It is not recommended to arrange only one movie on the first date because there is no way to communicate.

3. * * * and participation class

There are many kinds, such as escaping from the secret room together, climbing mountains together, visiting museums, shopping, or attending parties where a group of people play together.

Obviously, it is more reliable for two people to date with the * * who took part in the class after getting acquainted (after three dates).

Third, matters needing attention

1, it is best to be familiar with the appointment place, arrange the time and place in advance like a tour group (but not as compact as a tour group), and make clear when and where to do it. Many brothers only think of these things when they go out on a date, and getting lost halfway and finding the same place in a restaurant are taboo;

2. About paying the bill. In the field of dating science, there is a concept of "guiding each other to invest", which many brothers understand as asking each other to pay for a date. As we all know, under the cultural system of China, men should pay the bill. Even women with feminist ideas will take the initiative to pay part of the bill. Once you ask the other person to pay the bill, she will think you are stingy.

Moreover, even if it is to guide investment, the little money generated by blind date can not be regarded as investment at all. You are accused of being narrow-minded and getting nothing.

If you meet a woman who thinks that "men pay the bill" is a matter of course, it is difficult for you to educate her (you can change the deep-rooted thinking for decades overnight). You can either accept it or reject it (uncle's practice is usually rejection), and of course you can make a wish.

A sensible woman will buy popcorn after you buy a movie ticket. There is no need to stop her from buying it.

A woman with feminist thoughts may be AA with you. There is no need to stop her.

Never be stingy, never be stingy, never be stingy!

Never think that dating is an opportunity to get girls. Excellent men are choosing women, and only those who lack women can get women. Many men are actually quite good, but they are limited by this kind of thinking of "getting women". As long as they go on a date, their minds are full of "how to get her", which will affect your language, behavior and body movements, thus leaving the impression that you are low-powered.

4. About ordering food. Some, but respect the woman's wishes (so let you go to a restaurant you are familiar with). Some brothers don't have their own opinions, so they let the other side order them completely, while others just order them themselves. Before ordering, ask the other party what taboos they have, and then order one to ask the other party if XX is ok (don't worry, it's basically ok). You can let the other person watch the drink by himself. Remember to ask if you can drink ice.

5. About drinking. Uncle himself is a strict teetotaler (three thousand bad habits, I only love women). Many brothers like to confuse girls when they pick up girls, thinking it's easy to splutter, but I don't recommend it. On the one hand, persuading some girls to drink alcohol under unfamiliar circumstances will arouse their antipathy; on the other hand, you will face legal risks after drinking: according to Article 236 of the Criminal Law, whoever bullies X women by violence, coercion or other means will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of not less than three years but not more than ten years. Drunkenness is "other means", and a woman in a drunken state can't tell whether it is in line with her will, so as long as she says it is not in line with her will afterwards (many boyfriends will do this to set up a memorial arch), you are dead.

6. About being late

I suggest you be 5- 10 minutes late, which I usually do.

If you are more than 20 minutes late, you must apologize especially and keep apologizing, so that the other party will think you are very polite.

If the other person is late for a short time, you are not late.

If the other party is late for a long time, you need to show a little dissatisfaction (causing the other party to apologize) and then show that you don't care.

7. About saying goodbye

If you have a car, and it's not too far away, you can send the other person home (10 minutes, many brothers with low emotional intelligence are influenced by "don't kneel down" and can't tell the difference between kneeling down and politeness).

When you say goodbye, you can vaguely invite the other person for the next date.

8. Chatting on a date

Face-to-face chatting is actually easier than online chatting. If you are good at offline chatting, you are anxious. The best way to overcome anxiety is to keep repeating anxiety (dating different girls).

As for topic derivation, like online chat, I won't go into details here.

Emotional problems pay attention to WeChat official account "cashushu" to ask questions and provide the most effective solution.