The most awesome and powerful humor. Tell me about it.

The length is said in front of chopsticks, and the depth is said in the small glass.

Things like drinking Meng Po Tang must be solved first, right?

If the university doesn't take a piece of calculus paper, why doesn't Lian Bi take it! ! !

Junior, if you want to learn well, you must teach by hand.

The milkman is healthier than the milkman.

Weighing every time. When you are light, say to yourself: thin. When you are heavy, say to yourself: your chest is big.

The teacher asked to make sentences by daydreaming. A girl's homework is: during the day? Dream!

Every Friday afternoon, office workers all over the country practice a magical martial art: Magic Yang Gong!

I prayed to God to make me rich, but God always made me fat.

Time and tide wait for no man, first of all, women are not spared; Opportunity waits for no man. First of all, you can't wait for a man.

Immature men always care about the beauty of women; Mature men are good at reading their wives' faces.

Our dreams often encounter three snipers: illness, bad mood and high housing prices.

Believe it or not, all WeChat returns.

I went to the toilet several times in a row and suddenly found myself a good boy.

The dream is to count money until your hands get cramped, but the reality is to count money until you wake up naturally.

The biggest lie in the world is that I have read and agreed to use this clause.

Lack of social experience means that we can't cheat others yet.

God arranged fate for us, but forgot to give us instructions.

The blue sea, like a toilet cleaner …

There is a kind of person: Bao Gong in the morning, Guan Gong at noon and Ji Gong in the afternoon.

Bed, please respect yourself and let me go! I have a class!

The dog is in love, but he is worried because he doesn't know if the other person likes … a man who eats shit.

People are not afraid of death, and what they are most afraid of is not knowing life.

If you can't do anything and can't eat the rest, then change your brain capacity and stomach capacity!

A person's success in life depends on the memorial service.

Ugly men sometimes look for beautiful women, and ugly women sometimes look for beautiful men because they are "rich"

Pay attention to those who don't want to get up every day: the bed is the grave of youth.

In the afternoon, I went to ask for a Buddha's bead, and the young monk told me that the abbot had purchased the goods.

It is said that sleeping is an art. It seems that I still have no artistic cells and often suffer from insomnia at night. ...

Books are the ladder of human progress, and e-books are the elevator of human progress.

Think twice before you act is only a minority, and most of them still think twice before you act.

Ever since I went to Weibo, I feel guilty about being a fan every time I rinse hot pot.

Accounting and medicine are a perfect match. One seeks money, the other kills.

How many dreams are destroyed by the cruelty of reality, and how many dreams are destroyed by the knock on the door of express delivery. ...

Long-term low-cost acquisition of various idle girls, models are not limited, details are negotiable.

There are more and more nodding acquaintances, and cervical spondylosis is almost incurable.

When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many unlocked phone numbers for you on the wall.

The only thing I have in common with the rich second generation is "two".

Experience tells us that time is the best medicine for acne.

Dormitory lunch break reminder card: Please do not disturb the lunch break, please register next door first.

How can you control your life if you can't control your weight!

I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to go to work, I just want to, I just want to sleep and get paid to eat a big meal. ...

A dog food bad review: "It's terrible! Bad review! "

Degang Guo cow! He dressed up as a woman and made a TV series "Cherry". It is said to be very hot!

Humans don't eat tigers, animals eat people.

2020 Best Birthday Blessing SMS

A lingering miss contains my best wishes; A long blessing represents my deep thoughts; A warm message, write down my long greetings. Today is your birthday, I wish you a happy birthday!

Dear friends, happy birthday! I remember your birthday? Hehe, don't be too moved. Now there is something called a memo. It remembers everything, hehe. Happy birthday!

Lively, sunny and happy, jump a happy beat on this day that belongs to you. I sincerely wish you a happy birthday, health and happiness!

Do you know what day it is today? Haha, I didn't expect to send a message. I always remember, isn't this a surprise? How can you forget your birthday? Happy birthday to you on this special day!

Tomorrow is your birthday. On this beautiful day, your most sincere friend wishes you happiness every day and every minute in the future.

Time increases your maturity, and time increases your charm. On your birthday, may the blessings of friends gather into a galaxy of happiness and flock to you together. Happy birthday, my friend!

A heart, a sincerity and a blessing, please take me to say "thank you for giving me such a good friend" to your parents on your birthday! Let me not feel lonely on the road. "Happy birthday!

Today is your birthday. Although I can't light a candle for you in the distance and say "Happy Birthday" to you personally, I think you will feel my sincerity because I have been blessing you. Best wishes for a happy birthday!

The short message brought my deep birthday wishes. Please allow me to personally represent the people, without a thousand words, just say "Happy Birthday ..."

Laugh often, bless always around, and send short messages for a while, just because your birthday is coming, happy birthday!

Do what you want to do, go where you want to go, love people you want to love, pursue dreams you want to pursue, make good wishes, embrace a better tomorrow and enjoy a better time. Wish you a happy birthday and a happy life.

Although the temperature is always changing, although time has not stopped, although you and I are thousands of miles apart at the moment, although the blessing is just a word, my friend's heart is always thinking, and sincere greetings will always follow you. May you be happy every day! Happy birthday!

Look at you, accompany you, love you, love you for a lifetime. Tired, come to my arms; Pain, let me make you laugh, and I won't forget the oath of loving you. Happy birthday, dear. I just want to say to you today: it's good to have you.

There are many birthday messages here, and there will always be something you like.

The most awesome and funny. Tell me.

1. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why look for them in the class?

2, there is no inseparable couple, only a mistress who doesn't work hard.

Don't hint at me, I know darkrooms lie.

Whenever people ask me what I do, I will say it to the end. ...

5, I am very low-key, I want to be low-key, and the whole world knows that I am low-key!

Don't smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa smile. My stomach is not as strong as you think.

7, I can't see you happy, I will close my eyes.

8. It is said that boys play basketball the most handsome. In fact, the back of a man cooking is the most handsome.

9. The day of the senior high school entrance examination is the Dragon Boat Festival. It's up to you to eat zongzi or jump into the river.

10, I have a heart to lose weight, but I live a life of eating goods.

1 1, menstruation couldn't turn out of his uncle's arms.

12, I'll tell you again. My youth will be fed to dogs.

13, I wish you an early birth of the "devil", you're welcome!

14. Leave your tears to the person who loves you the most and your smile to the person who hurts you the most.

15, plagiarism is an art, but it is too abstract.

16, San Xiao is cheap, but she has her cheap art. ..

17, buy a lighter as soon as you get the paper.

18, it is a realm to be calm and play the fool.

19, whenever I take an exam, I think about it in my heart; God, please take me away.

20. Take the first-class style and do the dirty work.

2 1, when a man meets a woman, there is only an anniversary from now on, and there is no independence day.

22. Learn like a dog and play like a gentleman.

23. Every family has a difficult book to read, but ... God, why did you give me the English version of this book?

24. You can add one if it is cold in winter. If it is hot this summer, it will be hot.

25. It's my own stupidity. I paid so much, but I didn't get anything in return. I went back to make up the math exam.

26. In the end, there will be a road, and the road is also a dead end. This is fake. I can't even write.

27. It used to be as light as a swallow, but now it's too bloated to jump.

28. Words, come to your mind! You are just imagining things! Can't you get a bigger brain?

29. Grab your son's hand and drag him away! If you don't go, you will continue to drag on!

30. When I am in trouble, I will panic ... I will panic when I do things ... I only talk without panic. ...

3 1. Playing the lute to a cow is nothing, but talking to a cow is the real skill.

32. Am I so glamorous that you can talk nonsense?

One day, someone asked me how I was born. I said to that man without hesitation, have you seen the journey to the west?

34. If you have a pear, put it in the refrigerator and it will turn into a frozen pear.

You are beautiful, but among us handsome guys, it's not your turn.

36. I won't tell you that I ate cut cake. I want to be rich and handsome.

Hello, the woman you called will call you back crying.

38. No matter how hard my aunt turns, she can't turn out of my uncle's arms.

I tell you again that my youth will be fed to dogs.

40. Is it because I am radiant that I let you talk nonsense?

4 1. One day, someone asked me how I was born. I said to that man without hesitation, have you seen the journey to the west?

You are beautiful, but among us handsome guys, it's not your turn.

43. Shave your head and be a dishonest monk.

44. I won't tell you that I ate cut cake. I want to be rich and handsome.

45. Hello, the woman you called will call you back crying.

46, moonlight, heart. It's a good time to steal the chicken and touch the dog. hey ...

47. I will watch your happiness quietly in the distance and curse that you will not be together.

48. I will try my best to realize my dream and make up for the cow I boasted when I was a child.

49. No matter how big Samsung is, no matter how good Apple is, it can't compare with Nokia, the walnut-smashing artifact that will eventually die for us.

I'm not crazy, but I've never been normal.

Yuru article network is the funniest.

◎ personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

Give me some sunshine, and I will rot.

◎ Eat a little to lose weight.

◎ Shake, shake, shake to Naihe Bridge.

◎ Fate is responsible for shuffling, but it is ourselves who play cards!

Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

Come back, I can't fool you alone!

Life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.

◎ If you fall, get up and cry.

◎ Besides teeth, there is love in the world.

◎ A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed, "555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in my life ..."

◎ Life is easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

My cousin is over forty years old. Starting from the text, I failed in the exam for three years. Then I practiced martial arts, and as soon as I made a move in the martial arts field, I was fired from playing drums. Change the medicine, write the prescription, eat it, and die.

◎ Asking yourself how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel. ...

My life is limited, and so is my food.

There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat.

Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

◎ If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first, and don't blame the earth for not having gravity when you are constipated.

◎ clap your head to make a decision, clap your chest to ensure that you leave.

We walk so fast that our souls can't keep up. ...

Don't argue with the earth people.

◎ Girls only need to succeed once from a virgin to a woman, and boys need repeated training from a virgin to a man!

If you hang out, your wife will change sooner or later!

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

◎ Rich people are grandfathers! But there are even more people who owe money and don't pay it back!

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

◎ Why do you have to sleep for a long time before you die? You will fall asleep after you die. ...

A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately-in the end, he killed all the students.

◎ On the way to Xi 'an on business, a Dalian man boasted a lot about how good Dalian was, then said that Dalian held a grand celebration for the centenary of its founding, and then asked a person next to him, "Is there any celebration for the centenary of Xi 'an?" A few Xi 'an's buddies next to him were shocked. After a while, they forced out a sentence: "I remember when Xi' an established its capital 600 years ago, there was a' bonfire emperor' ..."

◎ Diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt!

In a harmonious campus, cyclists may be doctors, while Mercedes-Benz drivers may be logistics. ...

◎ It is gold, which will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light. ...

◎ The reason why my girlfriend is not a nun is that she hasn't passed Band 4 and won't accept it in buddhist nun.

Nothing money can solve is a problem.

Listen to you and leave me ten books!

Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you!

People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Treasure.

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

◎ Appears at the age of 0, and 10 goes up every day. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall!

When I take off my clothes, I am an animal. When I put on my clothes, I am the devil wears Prada!

Teacher, just follow the old woman! ... after a long time ... teacher, please give me a break!

◎ "Dear, I'm ... I'm pregnant ... for three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, you don't have to be responsible ..."

We have a little difference: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.

◎ It is better to talk for half a year than to read 10 years of Chinese.

Being lazy in bed in the morning, I took out six coins from my pocket: if all six are heads, I will go to class! Think for a long time, forget it, don't take the risk. ...

I spent 80,000 yuan on a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Which Western Zhou Dynasty did this belong to?" This is from last week! "

I can tolerate fake bodies, fake faces, fake breasts and fake hips! ! ! But I just can't stand that money is fake! ! ! !

◎ The scholar plays dead for his bosom friend, and the woman has plastic surgery for her own amusement.

When I grow up, I will marry Tang Priest. If I can play, I will eat him, if I can't.

There is no room for two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

Never wait until everyone says you are ugly before you realize that you are really ugly.

If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.