How to face a mother-in-law with different personalities

You might as well find out what kind of personality your mother-in-law is first and prescribe the right medicine. You will soon find that your mother-in-law is so lovely. They are as kind, fragile and sensitive as you are in their hearts. You love the same man from different angles. You should kiss.

Because my husband can't change, and neither can my mother-in-law. You might as well find out what kind of personality she is first and prescribe the right medicine. You will soon find that your mother-in-law is so lovely. They are as kind, fragile and sensitive as you are in their hearts. You love the same man from different angles. You should kiss.

There are five kinds of mother-in-law in front of you now: nurse, cadre, child and curious son. How will you handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Choose to escape or actively improve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

First, the nurse mother-in-law

Portrait: Everything at home and outside is arranged. You sleep late on Sunday, and she can't wait to bring breakfast to bed. Seeing that my son and daughter-in-law are still children in kindergarten and seriously ill, I feel that the sky is falling without me.

Case: Mrs. Gu of Chongqing, 34 years old.

My mother-in-law is a very capable person. At first, I felt very happy to have such a mother-in-law. After a long time, I think she went a little too far. I am a middle-level manager in a foreign company. It is uncomfortable to be taken care of as a baby at home. For example, I always tell her that I wash my underwear and socks myself. But as soon as I took it off, she washed it immediately. To tell you the truth, I feel embarrassed to let my mother wash these things. Once, I combed my hair on the balcony after taking a shower. My mother-in-law took my thong and whispered, "If you can't cover such a small cloth, you will get gynecological diseases." God, I'm so ashamed.

I really want to go to the kitchen on Sunday, but my mother-in-law always disagrees, saying that my hand is tapping on the computer. How to bring a spatula? Once, I finally persuaded her to let me cook, and she came to see me from time to time. "Qinqin, be careful not to cut your hand." "Honey, the cabbage should be boiled, or it won't be clean." She talks too much, and I'm upset. Finally, she cut off her hand. From then on, I gave up the idea of cooking at home and often went to help the hourly workers in the company.

Analysis: The nurse's mother-in-law is not only competent, but also hardworking and dedicated. You are lucky to have such a mother-in-law. Everything has advantages and disadvantages. Don't exaggerate your troubles. Many troubles can be solved through serious communication.

Tip: Practice your skills.

Don't blame your mother-in-law for being too busy. She doesn't trust you to do things, and she has her own reasons. Might as well do some housework secretly. One Sunday, I asked my husband to take my mother-in-law out to play. You can clean the room and make the food delicious. Such a convincing action will make my mother-in-law embarrassed to take care of you too much.

Fully communicate your thoughts: If you simply and rudely refuse your mother-in-law's "concern", she will be confused and sad. You might as well communicate with your mother-in-law in advance and tell her that you really want to learn the skills of being a housewife from her and hope to be as good as her at her age. So that your mother-in-law will be willing to teach you to do housework.

Let your husband come forward more convincingly: If you are sure you don't want to be taken care of like this, you can let your husband come forward to do the work. If he tells his mother that he doesn't want his wife to do anything, and he doesn't want her to be like a kindergarten child forever, then in the long run, her mother-in-law will be willing to relax her care for you.

Division of labor with your mother-in-law: If you are afraid that your mother-in-law will interfere in everything, you may wish to divide your work with your mother-in-law, agree in advance that everyone will not interfere with each other, and then strive for more "autonomy" after completion.

Second, the cadre mother-in-law

Portrait: Like the grandfather in the indoor drama "I Love My Family" and the Tang priest in "A Chinese Odyssey", he takes ideological and political work as his responsibility and enjoys it. Their greatest skill is to raise all the little things in life to the height of theory and explain them with reason and emotion. They won't stop until you faint in front of her.

Case: Ms. Guo from Beijing, 3 1 year old.

My mother-in-law was a department-level cadre before she retired, and doing ideological and political work is her strength. Now that I am retired, I will go home and play the "residual heat". I speak casually and often belong to the object of transformation, but interestingly, my mother-in-law generally does not transform me, while my husband, I feel more stressed.

One night, my husband and I were sitting on the sofa chatting. Husband said that the son across the street recently replaced Passat with a BMW, which may be a gift from someone else. I said that you have worked hard to open a company for a year, so you might as well be a red envelope for others. Why don't you just give up business and go into politics? A joke was heard by her mother-in-law upstairs. She called her husband here as an excuse. Half an hour later, my husband came back to our room, covered his mouth and said with a smile, "Mom took at least ten cases of corrupt officials dismounting this year to educate me."

Now even the five-year-old son knows that he can't talk at home, otherwise he will find a class. When my mother-in-law is not at home, we are very casual and sometimes deliberately spread some "reactionary remarks". But as long as my mother-in-law is here, we are all careful.

Analysis: Cadres' mothers-in-law are often strong and overbearing, a little stubborn and superstitious about experience. On the other hand, with such a mother-in-law, your chances of making mistakes are really less. And the reason for her pain is often for your own good.

Tip: Do what you like.

First of all, you should admit in your heart that your mother-in-law's education has its positive side and praise her well. The old man's rebellious mentality is very heavy. The less you listen to her, the more she will educate you. When she thinks that you are actually very close to her idea, she won't preach behind her back all day.

Provide her with a platform: sometimes, her preaching is out of a professional inertia, or the narrowing of her life circle after retirement. You should encourage her to expand her social circle. When her eloquence has a broader stage, she won't stare at you all day.

Communicate with your mother-in-law selectively: It is normal for your mother-in-law not to understand some of your ideas. You don't need to change yourself, let alone force your mother-in-law to accept it. Hide these things that she can't accept and communicate with her from an acceptable angle. When you communicate more and more, she trusts you more and more, and naturally she will have nothing to teach you.

Third, a childlike mother-in-law

Portrait: A charming woman who grew up under the care of her husband will be like a child even if she becomes a mother-in-law. Headstrong, grumpy, bad-tempered, with family around, and a little contradiction with his daughter-in-law, they all committed suicide in tears.

Case: Ms. Wang of Guangzhou, 32 years old.

My father-in-law is tall and good-natured, and he has been under his care for most of his life. Now she is 60 years old and looks like a child. My father-in-law died the year before last, and my mother-in-law lived with us, which was even more childish. Today I want to eat turnip beef offal, tomorrow I want to eat boat porridge, and I also indicate that I want old Guangzhou or Baiyun Mountain. No way, we have to make a detour after work to buy it for her. When watching TV at night, she is often moved to tears by a bad plot and insists on forcing us to watch it together. Just finished crying, I want to watch cartoons for a while and laugh happily. Her mood changes quickly, and we can't keep up with her mood changes.

She gnashed her teeth when eating fried soybeans. I said I was too old to eat such hard food. She didn't say anything at that time, but when her husband came back, she actually began to cry sadly. My husband thought I bullied her and had a big fight with me. As a result, she ran to beat her son again, saying that his son had wronged me. She just thinks she is too old to eat soybeans. Very sad. I always say that I have raised two children, one is my daughter and the other is my mother-in-law.

Analysis: A woman who is spoiled by her husband and leads a happy and plain life can easily become a child-like mother-in-law. They are kind and simple, have poor self-care ability, and often give their daughter-in-law trouble.

Tip: Obey her and educate her.

A childlike mother-in-law often makes some childish little demands. If you don't obey her, she will be sad and even make a scene at all costs. It is better to obey her first, and then reason with her when her demands are met and her mood is calm. When you reason, you'd better take others as examples, just like telling children fables.

Let the children force her to grow up.

For a mother-in-law who refuses to grow up, let your children force her to grow up. Let the children ask grandma for help; Work with yourself or complete various tasks assigned by the school; Make suggestions for your study and life. It is difficult for her to refuse her grandson's request. At this time, she must deal with problems like a real elder, which can effectively curb her childlike tendencies.

Calm her down when she loses her temper.

When she acts like a child, she is often just upset and needs to vent. Your best way is to treat it coldly, do your own thing well, don't take it, let her vent enough, and naturally calm down. If your husband is not at home, call him in time to report the situation and ask his advice on how to deal with it.

Learn to refuse to treat a childlike mother-in-law properly. If you indulge her blindly, it is easy to indulge her weakness in character. Learning to refuse at the right time will make her understand that some things can't go with the flow, but the way must be clever, otherwise new contradictions will arise.

Fourth, curious mother-in-law

Portrait: Curious and selfish, I like to spy on all the details of my son's and daughter-in-law's life, from the cosmetics used by daughter-in-law and boyfriend and girlfriend to the bed-to-bed relationship between the couple. Subconsciously, I want to know my son's life like the back of my hand.

Case: Mrs. Li from Shanghai, 30 years old.

My mother-in-law is a nosy person. Every time I go out, she asks, where are you going? If I say I'm going to meet my friend, she will ask, which one should I meet? When I say a name, she will ask, is it a man or a woman? How old are you and where do you work?

In the past, our condoms were always under the pillow, and my mother-in-law helped us make the bed every day. Once the condom broke in the middle, we changed it. As a result, when my mother-in-law made the bed the next day, she seemed to say to us in an understatement: "Don't think that being young and healthy is out of control. When you get old, there will be sequelae. " It was a long time before I learned that my mother-in-law would count the number of condoms every day when she made the bed! Since then, I have locked all my personal belongings in the drawer, so I am so nervous in my own home, of course I am unhappy.

Sometimes I tell my husband that your mother is too generous. My husband said to put up with me. She also cares about us, I admit that she cares about us, but this concern is terrible. My husband and I have quarreled occasionally these days. She is still asking questions and wants to know the ins and outs. In fact, quarreling between husband and wife is a trivial matter. Who remembers so much?

Analysis: Curious mother-in-law regards her son and daughter-in-law as her private property. In her mind, a family has no privacy at all, just as she doesn't exclude you from knowing everything about her.

Tip: expose her selectively.

For a curious mother-in-law, the more you hide it, the more she wants to see it. You might as well choose a few "privacy" that you think is irrelevant, and explain the reasons generously to her to satisfy her curiosity. Protect your privacy quietly. Anything you don't want her to know, you must hide it without leaving a trace. Once she finds out you're hiding something, she'll go after you. If your friend calls and she is wandering around, you might as well say, "Mom, do you want to talk to my good friend?" "She may give in.

But ask her.

If you always ask her questions, she will feel natural to ask you questions. So no matter what she does, don't ask if you are curious. After a long time, she will naturally have her own feelings. Even if you don't want to talk about it, she is embarrassed to ask.

Fifth, the mother-in-law who loves her son

Portrait: Although there is no extreme mother-in-law who loves her son and hates her daughter-in-law in Qiong Yao's drama, the starting point is similar-because she loves her son too much, she always feels that her daughter-in-law is a bit of an eyesore. She not only likes to find fault with her daughter-in-law, but also likes to pick one or two things in front of her son consciously or unconsciously.

Case: Ms. Ning from Beijing, 29 years old.

My mother-in-law has four children, and her husband is not only the boss, but also the only son. She regards him as the apple of her eye. When I am in love, my husband dotes on me. The first Spring Festival, I went to his house. On a whim, he peeled melon seeds for me to eat. At that time, my mother-in-law said, "Look at our aspirations. My daughter-in-law is much better than my mother. " Laugh at my father-in-law and be jealous. I laughed at that time and didn't care. Only after I got married did I find out that my mother-in-law was really J.

Although we don't live with our mother-in-law, she comes to see us every Sunday, and sometimes she calls her husband home to talk alone. Once, my mother-in-law found a scar on her husband's arm and asked him who was calling in front of me. My husband blushed and said, "Mom, I am such a big man." Who else can I be beaten by? I accidentally hit myself. "But my mother-in-law said," I won't listen to anyone who dares to bully you. "Mother-in-law, she loves her son and I love my husband. How can she imagine me as a class enemy?

Analysis: Many mothers have Oedipus complex, which ordinary people can overcome, but a few will show extreme behavior. In their minds, the daughter-in-law has taken her son away, so she will find fault with her everywhere.

Tip: admit defeat and show weakness, let her admit that you are a mistress.

If you go against her, your mother-in-law will put you in the enemy's position. "Mom, I don't understand. Ask me. " "Mom, he ignored me these two days. Give me some advice. " Modesty needs her junior to show your weakness. Because of the nature of maternal love, my mother-in-law pities you and treats you as a child, and her hostility to you will gradually decrease.

Praise her mother-in-law in front of her husband: "Look, Mom, she is much more capable than me." "You really fell into the honeypot. What a good mother you have. " In front of your husband, fully affirm the role of your mother-in-law, and pose that you will never compete with her for a son. Mother-in-law will appreciate you from the heart, and her critical heart will naturally weaken.

Don't coquetry or give orders to your husband in front of your mother-in-law: No matter how much you love your husband and how much he listens to you, don't give orders to your husband too much in front of her mother-in-law. This is the minimum respect for mother-in-law. Put yourself in the shoes. If you see your baby being taken away or disposed of at will, your heart will be as uncomfortable as a knife. A son is every woman's treasure. You should try to understand her.

Don't form a united front with your husband.

The weather is unpredictable. If one day you run into your mother-in-law on something, don't criticize her mother-in-law in front of her husband immediately. Since the contradiction has occurred, we must first have a sincere attitude to solve it. Generally speaking, a mother-in-law who loves her son is particularly sensitive. If there is a conflict between your husband and your mother-in-law, making her a lobbyist will not only put him in a dilemma, but also make the sensitive mother-in-law feel that you are threatening her with your son. This will make her more sad and more antagonistic to you.

Do something to convince her.

The mother-in-law who loves her son loves her son very much and is worried that she will not be taken good care of after giving her son to you. You might as well show her the housework you are good at. She will naturally love my family when she sees that you are considerate of your husband.