Funny wechat talk tape

1. Is there love rat? I want to love you. I hope your sweet words will fascinate me. Then you lied to me, and I was sad. Since then, I have worked hard and embarked on the peak of my life. The same laziness, but the giant panda and the pig are completely different. In the final analysis, this is a world of looking at faces.

2. I met an Indian by train, and he was also very free. He talked to me in Chinese about which country has culture. I said, can you use chopsticks in China? He said that grasping by hand is the most correct way to eat. You can grasp anything by hand, regardless of food. I love to specialize in all kinds of dissatisfaction. When I arrived at the station, I took him to eat a hot pot.

Goddess: You can make everyone in this forum quarrel, and I will go with you tonight. A software engineer: PHP is the best language! A forum is really a frying pan, all kinds of quarrels ... Goddess: I take it, let's go, do whatever you want. A software engineer: Not today. I must convince them that PHP must be the best language. ...

4. Push the road with a second-rate girlfriend and come to a discount store. My girlfriend took a fancy to one and asked the boss how much it was. Boss: "The discount is 1998!" Idiot girlfriend asked the boss, "Is there a bank near you?" Boss: "Yes!" Idiot girlfriend: "Why don't you grab it!"

5. A friend went to the hair salon for a haircut. Halfway through, he found it a little ugly and said to the barber anxiously, "How did you cut it like this?" The stylist said, "Don't worry, it's not finished yet. It will look good when it's over. " After cutting his hair, the stylist looked at him with a tangled face and said, "It's really ugly. I don't know whether people are ugly or hair is ugly. Forget it. I don't want your money ... "

6. In the circle of friends, I said to the flight attendant on the train, "Give me a bottle of coke. How much is it?" Flight attendant: "8 yuan." Me: "How big is the bottle?" Stewardess: "It's the kind that sells 3 yuan outside."

7. One night, it was a physics evening study. When the teacher was drooling on the podium, he suddenly rushed to the female classmate in the back row of me and confiscated the comic books in his physics book on the spot. The whole class froze and exclaimed that the teacher had cultivated a pair of perspective eyes. Who knows the teacher said on the spot: "physics book, I want to cry when I look at it, and she laughs when she looks at it!" " "

8, a single sister paper, old enough to hate marriage, dreamed last night that she finally got married and had children. I was accidentally peed all over by my child, but I was relieved in LZ's dream. When I woke up laughing, I held the hot water bottle that warmed my feet last night tightly in my arms, and it was still leaking.