My mother washes underwear for my daughter-in-law, and my daughter-in-law is shy and embarrassed. What should I do if she is unhappy?

As a daughter-in-law, I can understand her feelings: she is not ungrateful, but hopes that her mother-in-law can respect her private space. People who love and love again also need to maintain a "sense of boundary."

What is a sense of boundary? It refers to the judgment or importance of boundaries. When a person lacks a sense of boundary, he may unconsciously impose his will on others, invite others to cross the boundary he should have, or forcibly cross the boundary of others. Only in a completely inviolable self-space can we have comfortable interpersonal relationships. People who don't have a sense of boundaries often can't understand the "implication" and the "hidden rules", which leads to those suffocating moments in interpersonal communication and makes us feel held down by invisible hands.

No matter in love, affection or friendship, everyone is an independent individual. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, we should always remember that keeping a proper distance is the premise of respect. Contacts, even the closest relationship, will hurt each other if they get too close. The same is true of parent-child relationship. "Parents' love for their children is far-reaching. "True love is to know how to quit gracefully at the right time and let go. People are like two kingdoms, each of which should maintain a broad, natural and comfortable territory, and even have a neutral zone between them. This neutral zone is actually the boundary between people.

What you need to do is to strengthen separate communication with your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. "Hide what you can say and spread what you can't say." Pay attention to the following points when communicating:

1. Feel their feelings:

Mothers-Understand and appreciate mothers' love for their children, and feel sorry for their hard work, hoping to share more for them. At the same time, washing clothes is just a breeze. If you hurt your son, you have to hurt your daughter-in-law. I hope I can get equal and sincere treatment in my mother-in-law's heart.

Daughter-in-law-understand and feel her shyness. After all, underwear is very private and close-fitting clothes. There are still differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Keeping a certain distance and respecting each other's private space is interpersonal communication and the way for a family to get along.

2. Look at the problem from their perspective:

Say to your daughter-in-law, Mom loves you dearly, hoping to share it for you and give you more time to rest. However, after all, she is too old to understand some of our young people's ideas, let alone what is called a "sense of border". I will explain this to my mother and ask her to give us more privacy and respect our feelings. I hope you can see the love and care behind the mother's behavior.

Tell your mother about your daughter-in-law-a daughter-in-law also needs to perform some of her duties. Not everything can and needs your help. After all, we have grown up and got married, and our mother has worked hard. We should let go to make us more independent. Personal items, such as close-fitting clothes, will be made by ourselves. If you are not sure, you can tell me directly, and it's time for me to share more family responsibilities. No matter who you communicate with, you must have the transmission of ideas and the expression of emotions. The purpose is to reach a consensus and smooth emotions, so as to find a solution to the problem.