All the lines in the sketch "Today's Happiness 2"

Hao Jian: Let me tell you something. The boss has been furious recently. You said I did a good job as a waiter here, and suddenly I was promoted to lobby manager, hahaha. I accidentally embarked on my career, hahaha. Happy! Daughter-in-law is also happy, well, new mobile phone, new clothes, and personally bought me a fruit basket for my boss. Why do you think she is so sensible? With such a daughter-in-law to help me, do you think I can't be promoted step by step on the road to happiness? ! At this rate, I will be able to ascend to heaven before I am forty! Do you envy me? Why am I so human? I hate myself! (Cell phone rings) Hey, daughter-in-law! What are you doing? I'm almost at the boss's door! (Seeing the daughter-in-law) Ah, daughter-in-law! Why did you come here?

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: I just don't trust you to visit. Did you get all the fruits?

Hao Jian: Oh, my God, this heart makes you have sex. It is so fragile! (hangs up)

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: Hey, don't hang up! Don't hang up from now on!

Hao Jian: Why?

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: I want to know why your divorced boss promoted you to be the lobby manager.

Hao Jian: Well, after all the trouble, you still doubt me!

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: I don't doubt you!

Hao Jian: That will do!

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: I doubt you two! (patting Hao Jian on the shoulder with a smile) It's okay. Be natural and knock normally. I just want to hear how you two usually communicate. Don't hang up! ! Go ahead.

Hao Jian: I'm not going!

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: OK! Then I'll go! If I go up and knock on the door ... (Hao Jian interrupted me before I finished)

Hao Jian: That's enough! ! If you come with me, I'll go up! ! (Go away)

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: (shouting) Remember ~ ~ Don't hang up! ! !

Hao Jian: Hum! ! (walks to the boss's door and knocks) Listen, no, how normal it is to knock!

Boss: I left the door for you ~ ~

Hao Jian: Listen, no, what a strange way to leave the door! (Pushing through the door) Boss, where are you? Who should I open the door for? What is this? It's me, Hao Jian, with a clear conscience!

Boss: What? I can't hear you clearly! I'm taking a bath (jujube)! Come and talk!

Hao Jian: Ouch! I won't go first!

Boss: You are in a hurry! As it happens, I just took a bath. (Take out the date) Hao Jian.

Hao Jian: (seeing the boss running past) Ah, boss! So you washed the edible big red dates! Ha ha! (ate two dates)

Boss: (putting down the date) Hao Jian, why did you come so late?

Hao Jian: Oh, didn't you promote me to be the lobby manager? My daughter-in-law insisted that I send a fruit basket, hehehe.

Boss: Thank you! Oh, is this little fruit basket exhausted from carrying it?

Hao Jian: Nothing! I walk in two steps, not tired!

Boss: Well, Hao Jian, it's not a good time for you to come today, but my ex-husband will be late. I'm afraid it will cause unnecessary misunderstanding, you know, ha!

Hao Jian: I understand. I won't keep you two. But who do you think has not misunderstood? I just want you to say it out loud. You said there were seven waiters in our hotel, so why did you promote me to be the lobby manager?

Boss: Why? Is this a low probability? Don't you know why I promoted you?

Hao Jian: I ... Sometimes I'm clear, sometimes I'm confused, hmm.

Boss: Don't I have a crush on you?

Hao Jian: I'm telling you, boss, it all depends on what you say. I tell you, if you are so picky, I really want to keep you a little longer! (Sit down)

Boss: Oh, my God, Hao Jian, why are you still sitting? ! (Looking at his watch) No, you look at Hao Jian. My ex-husband will be here soon. It's already midnight. Is it inappropriate to leave us there? ! Hey hey.

Hao Jian: How can we catch him? I will eat your two dates. As for arresting me!

Boss: Hao Jian, do you think it's time to go to bed?

Hao Jian: (stands up) When did this happen? When did we sleep together? !

Boss: Let me get this straight! I won't keep you tonight!

Hao Jian: How many nights did you stay with me? ! Not the boss. Why do you talk like a big bang today? ! I ask you to answer me seriously, what is our relationship! !

Boss: Hao Jian, if you really can't bear to leave, can you come back after my ex-husband leaves? !

Hao Jian: (almost crying) Can I come back? ! Why not speak against the wind today? !

Boss: You came against the wind! !

Hao Jian: Who ... (interrupted by a knock at the door)

Boss: It's over, it's over, it's over! Now we're caught! ! ! (Running in a hurry) Hao Jian, hide! !

Hao Jian: Why did Hao Jian with a clear conscience hide? !

Boss: At that time, we were separated because of misunderstanding! I beg you to hide! !

Hao Jian: I'm not afraid of my shadow! (I was mixed by the sofa and my shoes fell off) Come on, I'm inclined (shoes)!

Boss: Hide in the curtain! (throwing shoes) Here are your shoes! !

Hao Jian: (The shoes are gone) After that, you will have a straight body without fear of shadows!

Boss: Get in! ! (Open the door)

Ex-husband: (Come in and have a look at the furniture) Are they all new?

Boss: Yes, what else should I use? Didn't you all move out when you divorced?

Ex-husband: Really?

Boss: Lao Gao, forget it. When you left, it was just me and the load-bearing wall at home!

Ex-husband: This year, it was so impulsive! Hehehe! (draw the curtains)

Boss: (rushes to stop Hao Jian) What's with the curtains? at midnight

Ex-husband: You were so shy at that time. (Wu grins) I'm shy, too! (Holding Hao Jian's hand from behind the curtain) I hold your hand, just like now, my little heart plops plops. (Pulling Hao Jian away) We just walked hand in hand on the asphalt road and ran into your mother head-on! I scared you. (Seeing the boss's expression) Yes! That's the look on your face! (Pulling up Hao Jian again) When I saw your mother, you took your hand away and went into the Woods. (Hao Jian takes the opportunity to escape) As soon as I saw you leave, I went after you! Oh, I'll chase you! Run! I will chase you! Run! I'll wait for you as soon as I see that I can't catch up with you! And you just bumped into my arms! (While speaking, I caught up with Hao Jian, and I caught up with him. )

Boss: (kicks the curtain in fright) Go! (Drag Hao Jian out and hide quickly)

Ex-husband: (covering his stomach) Oh, I'll go! Your rude kick kicked me from memory to reality!

Boss: (Hao Jian wants to come out and shouts quickly) What a bitch! (Hao Jian)

Ex-husband: (I thought I was talking about myself) Well, I'm a bitch! I'm so cheap!

Boss: I don't mean you. ...

Ex-husband: Stop it! (motioning with his hand) I'm here to tell you a good news today. I'm getting married again! I found a little girlfriend, young, beautiful and rich. Do you find it irritating? Hehe hehe. I want you to check it for me today. Such a narrow-minded person says she is good, then we will get a certificate! Of course, as long as you say no, you can't! Hehehehehe, is that a little uncomfortable?

Boss: If you say so, then my heart ... feels terrible! Hehehe! ! ! Now that you have said it, you can check it for me first! Come on, take a picture, baby! ! (Open the curtains to reveal Hao Jian)

Hao Jian: (Laughing) Shoes are hanging on the branches!

Boss: Stop hiding, it's over! Come on, introduce Hao Jian, my little boyfriend. Gao, my ex-husband (Pushing Hao Jian in front of her ex-husband)

Hao Jian: (Holding out his hand) Ex-husband. Why didn't you say it first? I just have a meeting there.

Boss: (pulls Hao Jian over) What meeting?

Hao Jian: Misunderstanding! !

Boss: (whispering) Cooperation.

Hao Jian: (looking at the phone) I'm not uncooperative. There are three people on the surface, but there are actually four people!

Boss: Four people?

Hao Jian: Hmm. (Yang Yang mobile phone)

Boss: Eh, hahaha, why tell everything outside! (touching his stomach)

Hao Jian: (almost crying, burying his face) Oh, my God, Grandpa!

Ex-husband: (walking towards a painting) shameless! !

Hao Jian: Ex-husband, you are wearing a hat on your head.

My ex-husband looks like a cuckold ...

Boss: (Hao Jian is leaving) Well, the guests haven't left yet. Is it appropriate for you to leave as a host? Dad!

Hao Jian: (scared) The father of the child is black! ! Have some behavior. Come on, talk as little as possible!

Boss: OK, dear! (grabs the phone) Stop playing with the phone!

Hao Jian: Give it back!

Boss: Hey, little Xiao Jian! Don't hug me in front of your ex-husband How exciting he is! !

(Ex-husband holding pillow excitedly)

Hao Jian: Well, with so many people here, let's play a game to see who can keep silent!

Boss: After all, being a little boyfriend is fun! I don't leave my mobile phone all day, only knowing what to talk about.

Ex-husband: Hum, if I am not mistaken, this phone can only play Tetris!

Boss: People are studying in Russia. What can they do without playing Tetris? Isn't it? Isn't it? ! (Directly on the device)

Hao Jian: (It hurts) Yes! Tetris! How interesting!

Ex-husband: (laughs) Oh, I said your Russian kebab! ! Dong Mei, what are you looking for?

Boss: I tell you, you can't understand Xiao Jian's western expression! Every day when I open my eyes, it means "I love you" and "I love you"

I love you. Oh, that sweet talk makes you sweet! Sword, come on, let's go! Let's begin. Come on, get up. ! ! (Stepping on Xiao Jian)

Hao Jian: (It hurts to be stepped on) Ah! ! ! ! ! I love you! ! ! (On the phone) The snow in the north of Saibei ...

Boss: Give me a compliment ... I love you, too! Boom, boom, boom

(The phone says, "Hao Jian, I hate you! ! ! ")

Boss: Huh? Xiao Jian, your cell phone ring is too noisy. I turned it off for you!

Hao Jian: (pouncing on it) No! This is my wife!

Boss: hmm ... the mobile phone has radiation, which is not good for the baby.

Hao Jian: You only think about babies, but you don't care about the life and death of older babies?

Boss: Hao Jian, I helped you with your daughter-in-law. Now you help me! Please. (whispering)

Hao Jian: Well, all right! Hurry up if you have anything, I'm afraid there's not much time! Boss, why do you think you two divorced? My ex-husband looks like a scum!

Ex-husband: Hum!

Hao Jian: Hum. What? ! I'm praising you. Why not? Well, look at your five senses. Which one can pass? The oval face is so hard and long! What a nice woman, you can't even hold her. Do you know how many men out there can't hold her if they want to?

Boss: Beautiful! So you are a slow-heating type! ! Ha ha ha ha! Yeah! !

Ex-husband: Dong Mei, it is reasonable to say that we are divorced and I should leave you, but only my feet know whether these shoes are suitable or not.

Hao Jian: Ah, then I know this, I don't know! (Lift your feet to see)

Ex-husband: Oh, I'm really completely defeated by your innocence!

Hao Jian: It's not naivety that defeats you, but "no shoes"! (Lift your feet)

Ex-husband: Oh, I'm leaving! ! !

Boss: Gao, let's meet at the stadium tomorrow, and you let me meet your girlfriend. Xiao Jian, accompany me to play golf tomorrow.

Hao Jian: Can you beat him tomorrow? Is your name Ralph? (Call as soon as I get up)

Ex-husband: Dong Mei, as you know, the purpose of my coming here today is to remarry you. But as soon as I saw that you didn't mean it, I made up a story about my little girlfriend. I wanted to get back some face, but I didn't expect it ...

Boss: What the hell? Is the little girlfriend thing made up?

Ex-husband: Ah.

Boss: I told you! What woman is blind enough to have a crush on you? (Punches her ex-husband in the face) Hahaha, we made it up, too. This is my lobby manager. He came to give me a gift. I caught up.

Ex-husband: What? He is your lobby manager?

Hao Jian: Why? The founder of the cause!

(Hao Jian's wife runs in)

Hao Jian's wife: Hao Jian, don't pretend to be a victim there! !

Boss: And you are?

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: I'm Hao Jian's wife, Jane! (Pointing to Hao Jian) Hao Jian, you must give me an explanation today! !

Boss: Sister-in-law, you may have misunderstood. The young couple must communicate with each other. I hope the communication has begun. Just like me and your brother-in-law, we left because of a little misunderstanding.

Ex-husband: as a result, I became my ex-husband

Hao Jian; Now both of them are reconciled!

Ex-husband: So, between husband and wife, trust comes first.

Boss; No trust, no happiness! Come on, sister-in-law, sit down and calm down! Hao Jian, come on, coax your daughter-in-law!

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: OK, Hao Jian, go ahead. I heard what you said.

Hao Jian: What else can we say? (Holding the fruit) Do you want pears?

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: Leave? ! Well, ho ho. ...

Hao Jian: I mean, do you want pears?

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: Leave! ! !

Hao Jian: I said apples, persimmons, plums and chestnuts, and that orange! !

Hao Jian's daughter-in-law: (Laughing through tears) Is this an orange? ! I'm really defeated by your innocence! !

Hao Jian, the boss's ex-husband: (Hao Jian throws shoes) It was not innocence that hit you, but "no shoes"! ! ! !