Taking care of the elderly is really going to collapse (my daughter collapsed after taking care of her mother with Alzheimer's disease for three years)

"No, mom peed her pants again." Wen Li (pseudonym), who is in his fifties, left his clothes to dry and rushed into the living room. His mother stood in front of the TV, at a loss, her pants were all wet and there was a pool of yellow liquid on the ground.

In recent years, Wen Li retired early as a full-time nanny for fear that her mother would be left unattended. Even so, her inner torture and high medical expenses still made her feel overwhelmed.

Like thousands of families with Alzheimer's disease in China, she was very depressed.

0 1 I became my mother's "full-time nanny". Every half hour, Wen Li will check her mobile phone-check the location of the mobile phone and watch the surveillance video at home ... Unknown people think that Wen Li suffers from "mobile phone syndrome", but in fact she cares about her family's "children"-her 80-year-old mother with dementia.

More than four years ago, Wen Li's father died of illness. Soon, Wen Li found that his mother's memory began to become "fuzzy". I forgot to turn off the tap when I was cooking. I can't remember how to write many words when I mention the pen; Going out to buy food is often confused. ...

At first, Wen Li thought that her mother was old, her brain was degraded and her memory was poor, but as her symptoms became more and more serious, she had to take her mother to the hospital for examination.

"The doctor told me that my mother has Alzheimer's disease. My mind was blank. I didn't expect my mother who was in good health to suffer from this disease. "

After her illness, her mother's temperament changed greatly, and sometimes she regarded Wen Li as a "stranger". Wen Li hired a nanny to take care of the old man because he was afraid that his sick mother would have an accident at home, but he didn't expect the old man to be "ungrateful" and often regarded the nanny as a bad person. He lost his temper at the sight of her, and finally the nanny couldn't bear to quit her job.

"I have hired several nannies in a row, and my mother is not at ease. In the end, I had to retire early and started a "full-time nanny."

Don't throw her into a nursing home. Since then, Wen Li and his mother have exchanged roles. For more than three years, Wen Li played the role of "mother", and her mother became her "daughter". In order to take care of this "daughter" who has no memory, she almost gave up all her private life.

"I'm going crazy. I can't remember how many times I cried in anger. Sometimes I feel so broken that I really want to ignore it. But that person will always be the one who raised me, and I can't leave like a nanny. " Wen Li took care of his mother and endured everything silently.

Some people advised her to send the elderly to a professional nursing home, but Wen Li believes that there are not many nursing homes that are willing to accept the elderly with dementia, and the fees are not cheap, as low as 20,000 per month. It is not easy for old people to adapt to strange environment.

"I think it is still difficult for China people to break away from tradition. She brought me up. Now, although she is confused, she still depends on me. I can't throw her into a nursing home, my conscience will be condemned. "

In addition to money, Wen Li can't get past his own heart.

60% dementia family members are prone to depression. Wen Li's experience is just a microcosm of China's Alzheimer's family. In China, there are more than10 million patients with Alzheimer's disease, and there are more than 300,000 new cases every year. The prevalence rate of people over 55 years old is nearly 4.2%, that of people over 65 years old is 7.2%, and that of people over 80 years old is as high as 30%.

Alzheimer's disease not only affects patients, but also makes their families miserable. According to the survey, about 60% families with Alzheimer's disease are prone to depression. Many family members are not only physically dragged down, but also often have negative emotions such as suicide, depression and anxiety.

Having these symptoms or mild cognitive impairment is one of the most obvious symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. When people reach a certain age, their brain function will inevitably shrink, so many patients initially think that they are just "old and forgetful."

There is an excessive state between normal aging and dementia, which is called mild cognitive impairment, which is characterized by the decline of memory or other cognitive functions and the forgetting of things and words, but it does not affect the ability of daily living and maintains the ability of self-care; Poor judgment, dealing with complicated things such as accounting, judging events and combining sentences. Will make mistakes and hesitate to do things; When the patient's mood changes, his personality will become anxious, indifferent, irritable and even aggressive.

At present, there is no specific treatment for Alzheimer's disease, but clinical data show that early detection of symptoms and early intervention can greatly delay the onset time and reduce the burden on patients and their families.

What should children do if they suspect that the elderly are "demented"? Once the elderly at home are found to have mild cognitive impairment, we should intervene as soon as possible, otherwise it is likely to develop into Alzheimer's disease. Accompany the elderly in time, and go to the geriatrics department, neurology department, psychiatry/psychology department, memory clinic or mental health specialist hospital of the general hospital.

Make preparations before seeing a doctor to help doctors judge: ① record the time of abnormal symptoms; ② List the current diseases and corresponding medication, such as three highs, atherosclerosis, depression, etc.

Compared with other diseases, the family burden of Alzheimer's disease is very heavy for ordinary families. Here, Xiao Jiu reminds me that when family members take the elderly for consultation, they can consult the local hospital to see if Alzheimer's Harmo's disease is included in the "special clinic". If it is included, it will greatly ease the economic pressure.

# Breeze Project ##39 Health Super Group #

References:

[1] How difficult is it to take care of family members with Alzheimer's disease? Give up all private life and feel that you will collapse at any time. China news agency 20 19- 10-07

[2] "I suspect that the elderly at home are' Alzheimer's disease'. What should the child do? Shanghai CDC. 2020-08-25

[3] New Issue | Where is Dad Going: The Real World of Alzheimer's Patients and Their Families. China Newsweek 20 15-07-23