The college entrance examination is funny

Famous saying, you have to be a celebrity first. That's a famous saying. Other people's farts are famous farts! Can you compare it?

How dare I not believe that you have the face to lie?

Why do I often have gum in my eyes? That's my deep love for sleep.

Don't think that just because you are younger than me, you can scamper for a few more days. The coffin is filled with dead people, not old people!

I feel like two pigs because one pig can't describe your stupidity.

Sometimes it rains because the world needs washing; Sometimes it rains in the eyes, because the heart needs washing!

In fact, I have always been very popular: I was loved by everyone when I was a child, and now I am loved by a bitch.

Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell the scum.

Life is like a journey, what matters is not the destination. But the "NB" along the way and the mood when dealing with "NB"!

Interesting QQ talk about Daquan: I am a thin man, and I can count my ribs when I am sad!

Today, a group of Japanese people came to visit our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes!

I killed Baidu yesterday. Before I died, he asked me why I killed him. I just sneer: you know too much.

Don't think you can bite just because you are a dog without a strong master!

I only looked back, but I didn't care how long the road ahead was.

Recently, the horse began to turn into a donkey's leg, and the cloud turned into rain!

Your husband is sleeping in another place, and you are forced to get up.

The PE teacher said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class will be punished for handstand!

Living in my heart, have you paid the rent?

You let me down. I didn't even give you a chance to go on stage.

If life deceives me, then I will also deceive life.

You can't eat as a meal, but I can't eat without you.

How big a body do you have to be to support your dirty soul!

Perfect boyfriend: no smoking, no drinking, no cheating. Does not exist!

Life is like a pile of rubbish. If you throw it into the fire and knock it, you can make a fine product!

It is said that there is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits! I went to see it the next day and threw up! On the third day, you went to the monkey and threw up!

The flower of the motherland, I stepped on one when it bloomed.

10086 is still good to me. I sent him a pair of short messages and he gave it to me three times!

I am very principled. My principle is to do whatever you like.

Today is MM's birthday. In order to be the first to send my blessing, I picked up my mobile phone on time early in the morning and sent a message: sofa.

Do you know why Gao gets drunk? That's because Yao Jiaxin asked him to sing "You in Prison".

The most interesting sentence: Behind a failed woman, there is always an eventful man.

Ordinary me, ordinary bright. I don't like you on the whole!

The highest state of being a man is not that you pick up girls, but that girls pick up girls.

I wonder: why doesn't the country study bulletproof vests with your face?

Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table.

At school, that money was used to dawdle, and now it is used to dawdle!

Some people always sell what they have in exchange for what they don't have.

To love yourself, you must be selfish first. Only selfishness can love deeply.

Guinness Book of Records: The world's largest coffee table covers an area of 9.6 million square kilometers and can hold 654.38+03 billion cups.

How boring it is to break up Play divorce if you can!

Taking the road of RMB makes people have no choice!

Sanlu milk powder, the choice of stepmother.

One day, mistress cried because Xiao Si appeared!

Break up with you because you don't deserve to hold hands!

Don't pose in front of me, I'm afraid I can't help but want to drop my camera.

We are just passers-by, playing together in this world. Whether you lose or I win, we will play games together in the end!

I have done two things wrong in my life, one is to live and the other is to live.

If I die, my first sentence is: finally I don't have to be afraid of ghosts.

I am a civilized person, and all the dirty words have been disinfected with saliva.

Funny anecdotes, anecdotes.

1. Violence can't solve the problem. Come on, let's sit down calmly and praise me for an hour.

I know I have a bad temper. If you can't bear it, you must reflect on yourself and why others can.

I am single because no one can easily deserve me as a proletarian successor.

When I was a freshman, I told my roommate that I must find a beautiful girl as my girlfriend. My roommate said it was good and that I had a goal. Later, I thought it was ok to find a girlfriend, but I couldn't find one. Slowly, when I was a sophomore, I suddenly found that as long as it is a woman in love. Now that I'm a junior, I think my roommate is also quite good.

I finally know why homework is an uncountable noun, because it can't be done at all. More funny and interesting sentences.

6. Mathematics is very interesting. How interesting is it? Since I learned math, I feel that even living is meaningless.

7. I tried to be an interesting person, but later I went astray and became a tease.

8. A father and son came to the store to buy an iphone. The son looks like a junior high school student. When paying the money, the son said, dad, just buy a smart phone with your IQ. Then his father said that we all laughed and told his son that you have a high IQ, but you can't afford it.

9. What makes you call me fat? What did you buy me to eat?

10. Girls should not quarrel casually, which will make them look very uneducated. You should slap them and let them know what it means to be both civil and military.

1 1. I thought I was also the seed of infatuation, but it rained and drowned.

12. Ten years ago in May, a man praised me. He married a beautiful young girlfriend. Last May, another person praised me. He won 5 million. In May this year, everyone who praised me married a beautiful young girl and won 5 million yuan on their wedding day. Don't say I'm not interesting enough. The text has been put here.

13. I have a desire not to get tanned, but I have a heart to go out surfing all day.

14. When I was a child, my parents owed a lot of money to others and kept telling them: We will pay you back twice in the future. Later, they gave birth to me and named me Shuang.

15. Some people have shiny surfaces, but in fact their socks have slipped to the soles of their feet.

16. My wife likes to buy lottery tickets. She buys the same number all the year round, and every time she quarrels, she says: If I win 5 million, the first thing is to divorce you! I didn't really laugh, and I wasn't worried at all, because I bought the same number with her every time, twice.

17. I always regard you as my best friend, so please tell me when you have no money and I will teach you how to live a hard life.

18. Others stay in bed because they have money. They can sleep as long as they want. I stay in bed because I have no money, so I can save a meal.

19. What is the most unforgettable large-scale collective activity organized by your class? Make up lessons collectively!

20. Precautions before the senior high school entrance examination: The voice of turning over must be loud and fast, so that the whole examination room can hear it, and they begin to doubt their lives. After listening, he shouted, It's so fucking easy! Put the pen down heavily, half louder. Clap your thighs and shout: lying in the trough, original question! You don't have to go to a good high school, you must be in place to pretend to be B. I will wait for you at the construction site rain or shine.

2 1. The final exam is coming. I will definitely tell you how many people are in my class with my strength.

22. The professor said: A fool's question can't be answered by ten geniuses. A student said: No wonder I can't do every exam. I see.

23. A fish raised by my roommate died and refused to be buried. As a result, the more roasted, the more fragrant. Not long after, I went downstairs and bought a bottle of wine.

24. The weather is getting hotter and hotter. Girls should buy short sleeves for their boyfriends, and boys should also buy short sleeves, long sleeves, quarter sleeves, a pair of shorts, a pair of trousers, a pair of sandals, a pair of leather shoes, a pair of white shoes, a short skirt, a long skirt, a dress, a handbag, a satchel and a shoulder.

Very interesting. Tell me about Daquan.

Very interesting. Tell me about Daquan.

1. Invest in health-know how to take care of yourself.

2. Be a guest at the home of ethnic compatriots or foreigners.

3. Experience a military life-strengthen self-discipline and sense of responsibility.

4. Take advantage of opportunities to absorb the nutrition of knowledge. Quotations from Weibo

5. Change your job at least once-dare to change the status quo.

6. Take part in a physical or intellectual competition-the winner wins first.

7. Contribute and publish an article in your favorite newspaper.

8. Look at the world from another angle.

9. Learn to cook some special dishes.

10. Find your own entertainment and fitness methods.

1 1. Keep a happy smile-don't let trouble come to your world.

12. Start a business, whether it is successful or not.

13. Imagine the last moment of life-experience life and death.

14. At the end of each year, check your behavior in the past year.

15. Write a will and donate useful organs after death.

16. Choose a career you love.

17. Start with small things in daily life and be an environmentalist.

Talk to strangers.

19. Express your gratitude.

20. Have a "daydream".

2 1. Take a lifetime to remember a lesson or a useful suggestion.

22. Selling goods by hand.

23. Find true friendship.

24. Ask for a life coach.

25. Experience another life-live in the country for a few days and enjoy the rural scenery.

26. Plant a tree for yourself-let life continue on the tree.

27. Looking for lost childlike innocence.

28. Challenge your limits.

29. Review history on the Great Wall.

30. I was deeply and passionately in love once.

3 1. Travel alone-really enjoy being alone.

32. Take part in parades and carnivals-feel the passion and wildness.

33. Meet a celebrity you admire in your heart.

34. Use 2 1 day to break a bad habit.

35. Go to the construction site and other places to live with ordinary workers for one day.

36. Read 15 minutes every day.

37. Spend some time with your family every day.

38. Cultivate a personal hobby.

39. Learn a musical instrument.

40. Observe all kinds of sentient beings and taste the joy of life.

4 1. I often go home to see my parents.

42. Let's drink to the past-attend a class reunion.

43. Travel to your favorite place.

44. Live for a period of time with your own skills in a strange environment.

45. Keep a happy marriage.

46. Massage and rub your parents.

47. Sleeping alone in a deserted field.

48. Go to Tiananmen Square to watch the flag-raising ceremony.

49. Respect your opponent.

50. Steal half a day-slow down the pace of life.

Very interesting, very funny. Tell me about Daquan.

1. Your smile is brighter than shit in the sun.

You can't even pretend to be forced by those who always say that others are pretending to be forced.

I don't hate you because I don't want to remember you.

4. Confucius said: Journey to the West is the Monkey King chanting, and Tang Priest is crazy.

5. Others laugh at me for being too slutty, and I laugh at others for not being open.

6. I sing nervously to the computer. After singing, I collapsed.

7. I wanted to die, so I bought a bottle of pesticide, and the lid said-another bottle.

8. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.

When I woke up, it was already dark.

10. Why do you feel sleepy when reading? Because books are where dreams begin.

1 1. A good horse never looks back, so I never look back and walk in circles. As a result, I met the grass again

12. Actually, I have a handsome angle, but you didn't find it.

13. Friendship is not drunk by wine, but can be remembered by wine! We can still be friends if you don't pretend to be B.

14. Sanlu and Mengniu tell us a truth: animals are unreliable.

15. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

16. I've been in a nervous crowd for a long time, and I find I'm normal.

17. Our boss is a little monster, and we are Altman. But we ran away when we met the boss, because we didn't bring the summoner.

18. There are fears everywhere in life, and you are one of them.

19. I'm not your little raccoon. It's fun without you.

20. I want to say that I have a hard time, and the day of the end of the world is my birthday.

2 1. Why do people live? Just for those great grandfathers Mao.

22. It's not your fault that you are ugly. Can't you be honest? You have to show off in an ostentatious manner and let us know that you are the eldest brother.

23. Eating food is like a train. To sum up, just eat, eat, eat.

24. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?

25. Don't argue with people without quality, because it's like wrestling with a pig. It is not honorable to win, but even more shameful to lose.

Book me two tickets to heaven, and I will personally find Yue Lao and force him to lead me a red line.

27. I get a tan every summer, and I always feel that I can make it up in winter.

28. Genetics tells us calmly that cross-species love is doomed to have no good result.

29. Smoked makeup looks good, making me a panda that everyone looks up to.

30. Your life is short, but I am temporarily fat.

3 1. When you say I don't want you, you must not marry, which makes me feel guilty.

32. Your fly in the ointment is that you have too many shortcomings.

Everything will be fine in the end, even if the car is dismantled and the wheels are sold.

34. In this low-key world, I have to use high-key to cover myself up.

35. Eat wild vegetables at home when you have no money, and eat wild vegetables in hotels when you have money.

36. I never write words, but I write interchangeable words!

37. Erection is not everything, but erection is absolutely impossible!

38. Borrow a friend's car, and the friend said to refuel it when returning it. When I returned the car, I rushed to the car and applauded.

39. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

40. I have been in love several times because of loneliness. Who knows that it is easy to be kicked after repeated battles and defeats!

4 1.JB is busy during the day and JB is busy at night.

42. be a person who wanders between cow a and cow C.

43. Q: Is my avatar Niu B? A: Yes!

44. A light question: Why do birds like to sit in rows on the wires? The best explanation is that you can chat online.

45. The little girl selling flowers pulled me: Big Brother, buy flowers. I can see at a glance that you are a playboy.

46. I don't even want a basin for spilled water.

Give me a pair of chopsticks. I can eat the whole earth.

48. Leave me alone. Leave me alone again, and you'll be out of the pit soon.

49. Don't look back, I only love your back.

50. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, and I am not sad.

5 1. Everything has a price, and the price of happiness is pain.

52. When there are legends in the rivers and lakes, if it is not full of storms, I am sorry for the audience.

I won't tell you if you kill me. You haven't done a honey trap yet!

54. Marble insoles are shameless.

If you fool around, you will get bored sooner or later.

56. I'll hit you if I hit you. Do we have to choose a date?

57. Play a little mahjong and have a spicy meal. Find a small object, life is like this.

58. In this era when everything is rising in price, I am suddenly delighted to find that the air is not rising in price, but there are more and more materials.

59. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable!

60. Women like two kinds of flowers best in life: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

6 1. Two birds share the same life, a pair of poor butterflies.

62. I won't bend over when money falls from the sky, because even pies don't fall from the sky, let alone money.

63. Everyone has a dark side. If you say you are simple, I can only say that you are not human!

64. Sometimes, everything is false except that the lies are true!

65. Yuanyang played with water and all his mother drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead!

66. A star can become more famous by taking off a little, but I got caught taking off everything!

67. Ambiguous is that I asked you to borrow money, but you didn't say that you borrowed it or didn't say that you didn't borrow it, only that your husband was not at home.

As the saying goes, if you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. You cried. You are the only one crying in the world.

When I see a beautiful woman, I will first touch my pocket to see if I have any money!

70. I will be friends with whoever says I am white, thin and beautiful.

7 1. Please don't disturb while taking a shower. Please buy tickets for voyeurism, 40 for individuals and 20 for groups!

72. Teacher, wait, I'll let the Buddha marry you!

73. I'm so pure, I'm a little shameless!

74. If you wear fashion, it is non-mainstream. Dress sexy and you can sit on the stage.

75. My progress made him sit up and take notice, and since then he has lost his eyes.

76. I said I liked Li Bai's poems better. Lu You got angry, and then my family couldn't surf the Internet.

I licked my finger and cried.

78. The teacher's teaching impressed Xiao Ming deeply, so the next day, he had a pair of false teeth.

79. Before Yu Gong died, he told his son to go to bed. Gong Yu: Move mountains! Son: Shiny? Yugongkuai

80. If the exam rewards QB, then the country will become rich and strong immediately.

8 1. The weather is fine today. I stayed indoors for a long time and am going to play in the living room.

82. Question: Why is summer vacation necessarily longer than winter vacation? Answer: Because it expands with heat and contracts with cold.

83. When you are in a bad mood, make harassing calls to others in the middle of the night, wake others up and go to bed.

84. When people do good deeds, they always want ghosts and gods to know. They have done bad things and always think that ghosts and gods don't know. We are too embarrassed.

85. If people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

86. I never hold grudges, but I usually report them on the spot.

87. Everyone is born primitive. Unfortunately, many people gradually became pirates.

88. One day I went shopping without glasses and saw a very handsome and familiar person. I want to go and see who it is. It turned out to be a mirror.

89. Commitment is like a woman saying she wants to lose weight, but it is difficult to do it when she often says it. If everything is false.

90. Love is poison. The icing is amazing. Take a sip and stop. If you drink it, you will lose your life.

9 1. Don't reveal your wound to others. There are not many doctors in the world, but many people sprinkle salt.

92. Our boss is a little monster, and we are Altman. But we ran away when we met the boss, because we didn't bring the summoner.

93. If you give me a smile, I will give you a smile. It's not a kind greeting. I just want you to know that I smile better than you.

94. After several decades, we will meet again and send them to the crematorium. All of them will be burned to ashes, one for you and one for me, and all of them will be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer.

95. Go straight to the point and don't challenge my blacklist with your ignorance.

96. So far, three apples have changed the world: one seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, and one was held by Jobs.

97. Now Beijing only breathes and farts without waiting in line.

98. Even if you are already taken, I will replace it with another flower.

99. Goose, goose, goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and pour the water, and order the pot!

100. Give me a woman and I can create a country. Give me a bottle of wine and I will lead them to conquer the world!