A long humorous joke

Joke is an artistic expression. Look at new jokes every day, and the whole person will be happy. Next, I carefully prepared a funny and humorous long joke for everyone. Welcome to watch!

Funny joke (hot article)

1. Now the construction industry has entered a new era, and the building structure is a big family with various types, which can be divided into different structural types according to different classification standards. According to the different classification of building stress system, there are the following four structures. The first is the style: the much-loved frame-shear structure. Frame-shear wall structure takes frame and shear wall as the stress system. It is an optimal combination in architecture, which combines the advantages of frame structure and shear wall structure, and can resist both vertical load and lateral integrity. Just like that, history can not only win the love of the king of Yue, but also win the love of the model. It can be said that three thousand pets live in the temple, and there are various favors in the rivers and lakes. The full name of frame-shear wall structure is frame-shear wall structure, and there is a kind of frame-shear wall structure in buildings, also referred to as frame-shear wall. If you are not careful, you will mistake Feng Jing for a horse and Dong Shi for a surname. Second, Wang Zhaojun: Brick-concrete structure, good quality and low price. Brick-concrete structure with low cost and high quality products is the main force in today's construction industry. Deeply rooted in the hearts of the people and widely welcomed. Just like Zhaojun, from the folk, said that she was a plain Hanwang and married far away. In a different place, she can take root and contribute to national friendship. The flexibility of the hybrid structure is not great, which is also the shortcoming of Zhaojun. When the princess guest tried to ask the painter to paint herself beautifully, she kept silent. Never mind. Third, the frame structure of Yang Guifei who pays the price for perfection. Large and giant buildings are based on frame structure, poured with reinforced concrete, and repackaged with prefabricated aerated concrete, expanded perlite, pumice and ceramsite. High cost, solid structure and various forms. Dr. Yang Guifei's gorgeous, romantic and classical love story has been passed down through the ages. However, in order to fulfill his miserable life, he finally hanged himself to end it. Just like the modern man-made cotton team's frame structure house, it was bought with pain and bloodshed, and it was very careful. Fourth, the aristocratic shear wall. If the internal structure of brick-concrete structure is a small jasper, there is no doubt that shear wall is a beautiful family. Compared with frame structure, shear wall is more noble, because it has both the openness of frame and the unique convenience of decoration. Similarly, The Story Of Diu Sim has both the nobility of Yang Guifei and the unique chivalry of killing Dong Zhuo.

One day, the director of the Women's Federation came to a village to inspect the work. The following is his speech: Hello, everyone, you have done a good job. I am a lout. How thick is it? Your female village head knows that we talked all night last night. Later, she learned the length of my work, and I learned her depth.

3.● Bad wife? To tell the truth, you still had 329.50 yuan in your bag last night. Why is there only 20 points left in 78 yuan now? ● Strict wife? Why are you going out again tonight? You must come back before ten o'clock, otherwise you can't come in. ? Pretend to be a generous wife? I know you have no money. My money is on the dresser. Take as much as you want. ? (Actually, there are only twenty or thirty dollars on the dresser. ) ● stingy wife? What, a kilo of watercress? You damn fool, why don't you bargain for food? Half is enough. ? ● Unreasonable wife? Don't eat my cooking, ask the fox in the hotel to cook it for you! ? ● Hide a hostile wife? I don't blame you. Tell the truth. Who is fatter than your colleague Xiaohua? ● A soldier's wife? Lao Wang next door divorced yesterday. Do you think a person with two dollars is bad? ● Jealous wife? What was the name of your first lover? Lan? Yes, are you married? Ask her to have tea with you sometime. ?

4. "In an open-air bathhouse, a group of strong men are taking a bath, and some lovely monkeys climb the tree next to the bathhouse to watch. One of the monkeys laughed while watching, and the more he watched, the more funny he felt. Finally, he fell from the tree and rolled on the ground. The other monkeys were surprised, so they picked him up and asked him why he was laughing. The monkey still smiled and said, Haha ... Hee hee ... Humans are really a strange animal, haha ... You see their tails are so short that they have to be born in front ... haha ... "

5. "Author: Song Jiang was chatting with Sun Erniang on the BBS when he became immortal. Suddenly," DuDu "and" Your friend Li Kui got on the station. Reply, okay. ""It's really annoying. " "Sung river murmured, ask Li Kui jy hello. After a while, there was another beep. "Is your friend Li Kui at the station? ""Song Jiangyou hastily deal with a few words. But unexpectedly, Li Kui jy kept beeping, "Shit!" "Song Jiang scolded him." "Don't fart, who do you think you are!" "Li Kui jy responded." "Iron cow, I am sung river. """"huh? You AE, why is your name britney spears? """""Alas, Iron Bull, what are you doing? Why do you always go to the station? " """Oh, my old man had a car crash." """You don't want to get on the bus. Go to Wu Yong tomorrow and take PII. " "Song Jiang thought: Someone must have told him to play tricks. ""Thank you, brother Gong Ming. " "(Li Kui jy bedroom. ""Brother Li, this method is very clever. " "Li Kui jy said to Yan Qing. ""What is this? That's how I got mine. """""Brother Li, thank you very much. How about helping me copy this machine tomorrow? ""No, I'm going to chat with Li Meimei online tomorrow. Let Lin Chong copy it for you. He doesn't like surfing the Internet anyway. " "He can't. He is practicing red alert every day, ready to retaliate against Huarong. " "Then call Wang Ying to find some Dai Zong life films, and he will copy them for you. """""Well, just ask Wang Ying." """"Then I'll go first. ""Not anymore. " "Li Kui jy hummed a ditty and went to Wu Yong with the machine?" (Song Jiang's bedroom) Song Jiang is chatting with Sun Erniang. His bed is a mess, full of smoke and fart, wearing only shorts, smoking a cigarette and banging on the keyboard.

Funny joke (classic)

1. "When I went to MM's house, MM smiled and said to me," "I'll show you where I peed." "I probably had an expression on my face that I shouldn't have, and I was scolded by MM, and then MM pointed to the toilet and said," ~ ~ ~ "I went to MM's house in .......... crazily, and MM smiled and said to me," MM pointed to the balcony and said, "Do you think it was dry?" "I was going to MM's home in .........., and MM smiled and said to me," "You touched my bra." "I immediately reached out and touched her chest and was scolded by MM. Then, MM pointed to the balcony and said," Do you think it's dry? " "MM smiled and said to me," "Let's kiss." "I kissed her right away and was scolded by MM. Then, MM pointed to her puppy and said," "It's called kissing, and she took my slippers everywhere to teach it a lesson. "".........., I fell crazy ~ ~ ~ ~ At my house, MM smiled and said to me, "Let's play". MM said aggrieved, "I'm just playing the game of piggy, ig. "".........., I'm crazy ~ ~ ~ On the BBS, MM smiled and said to me, ""Let's go find BT. " "I was busy looking for BT everywhere and was beaten by MM crazily. Then, MM pointed to the landlord and said to me, ""You can't see such a big BT.

2. Market, chicken stand. Young man:? Boss, how much is a catty of chicken? Boss:? , no less? Young man:? Oh, can you help me choose one? Boss:? Okay, just this one,,? Young man (concentrating on counting money):? . . . . . ? Boss:? Shall I help you kill the chicken, or will you kill yourself? Young man (busy counting money):? . . . . . Huh? Oh, I want to kill myself! ? This 170-year-old lady happened to pass by. When she heard that someone was going to commit suicide, she quickly took the young man by the hand and said earnestly, Young man, what's the matter? You're young. What's wrong? What's the matter with you? . . . . . ? Young man (with a surprised face):? Me. . . Me. . . . . . ? Old lady (without waiting for the boy to say): Oh! I see, it must be lovelorn. Well, lovelorn is normal. There are plenty of opportunities in the future, so why hang yourself on a tree? . . . . . ? Young man (with a rogue face and an embarrassed face): No. . That's not true. . . Me. . . ? Old lady: You don't have to tell me what you think. Your investment in love is right, but you can't force emotional things. It's okay to fall once, just get up. Your life is still very long, why do you choose this extreme way? . . . . . ? Young man (unbearable):? Grandma, please, will you stop? I understand everything. I will never kill myself again. ?

When people are old, it is easy to fart. Farting all day is troublesome! Fortunately, there is a new cover. Put a gyro in! And the smell of fruit. Convenient!

4. A teacher made a pair of couplets: couplets: it snows in the sky but it doesn't rain, and it turns into rain on the ground; Why doesn't it rain when it snows? It might as well rain directly. Students are right about this bottom line: bottom line: teachers don't eat shit when they eat, but when they eat it, they become shit; Why don't you eat shit? Might as well just eat shit. Teacher's evaluation of students: neurotic students' evaluation of teachers: diseases add up to transverse evaluation: neuropathy.

The two charming children got married, and it was their wedding night. Jiaozi sent the guests away and closed the door. He looked back and was startled to find a meatball lying on the bed. Jiaozi asked: Where is my wife? Meatball scolds: Idiot, you don't know when people take off their clothes.

6. Lao Wang watched the TV advertisement and went to the store to buy a bike. But he found that all the bicycles in the shop had no headlights. Lao Wang asked:? Didn't the car in the advertisement have headlights? There is a beautiful girl in the car in the advertisement. ?

7. A leader asked the new female secretary to write a report. The female secretary handed it to the leader after writing. The leader held up the official document and said, well, the top is fine, and the two points in the middle are also prominent, that is, there are loopholes below, and we will talk about them later.

8. I'm a county magistrate (sent), and I'm here to make a brick car (a brick car in the west of your village). Yesterday, I spent the whole night (working) with your hostess, and I found two salient points and one loophole from her. We should seize these two prominent points and try to plug this loophole? Family planning work should start with cadres.

9. Mrs. Li: Now, the younger generation is getting worse. When they were sixteen or seventeen, they already knew how to do bad things. ? Mrs. Huang:? Not necessarily! I think young people are becoming more and more disciplined. ? Mrs. Li:? How can I see it? Mrs. Huang:? I remember that I used to meet young people who followed me on the road. Nowadays, young people are very disciplined and never follow me. ?

10. A dancer bragged to a chin. Your skills are not as good as mine. You can't be a golden rooster for longer than me. ? Chin beauty replied:? Yes, but any chicken is better than you! ?

Funny jokes (selected articles)

1. If Columbus had a wife at home, would he still be able to discover America? She would say:? Where are you going? Go with who? Find what? What time are you coming back? I don't think you'll get anything on this voyage! ?

The city zoo said to the tourists: Don't be afraid. This lion is very docile. It was raised in bottles. ? Tourist:? I grew up with a bottle, too, but I like eating meat now. ?

A young man in fashionable clothes went to buy candy. He saw colorful candy and said happily. Oh, shit, the sugar here is covered! Hey, what kind of sugar is the best? The salesman looked at him and said, if you eat it, you'd better keep it fragrant. ?

The boss said to his secretary: I'll take you to Beijing for a walk these days, so get ready. The secretary called her husband: I'm going to Beijing to have a meeting with my boss these days. Take care of yourself. Husband calls his lover: My wife is going to Beijing for business these days. Let's come out and play. My lover called the little boy who was tutoring his homework: there is no class these days, so I have something to do. The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, the teacher has something to do these days, so there is no need for class. Please play with me. Grandpa called his secretary: I will play with my grandson these days and I can't go to Beijing. The secretary called her husband: The boss has something urgent these days, so we won't go to Beijing for a meeting. Husband calls his lover: I can't come out to play these days, and my wife won't go to Beijing. My lover called the little boy who was tutoring his homework: I will continue to have normal classes these days. The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, there will be classes these days, so I can't play with you. Grandpa called his secretary: I'll take you to Beijing for a walk these days. Please get ready.

5. "driver:? Hey, sir, didn't you see that? No smoking? Slogan? Passenger (cigarette in hand):? Yes, but I'm confused by you. Isn't there another one here Please wear a mermaid bra? Do I have to listen to it and wear it? "

6. A taxi is driving on the way to Chicago airport, and a Japanese tourist is sitting on it. At this moment, a taxi passed by and the Japanese shouted:? Look, Toyota! Made in Japan! How fast! ? After a while, another taxi passed by. ? Look, Nissan! It's made in Japan! Too soon! ? Another taxi passed by. ? Hi! It's Mitsubishi made in Japan! Very fast! ? Taxi drivers are 100% American. Seeing that so many Japanese cars have surpassed their American cars, coupled with the arrogant language of the Japanese, he is a little annoyed. When another taxi overtook it, the taxi pulled into the airport parking lot. ? It's a Japanese Honda! Very fast! There's no cure! ? The taxi driver stopped and pointed angrily at the meter and said, Kim. Do you want gold so badly? ! Meter! Made in Japan! Very fast! There's no cure! ?

7. The son of a rich family went to take the exam. His father gave him an exam in advance and got good grades. He thought he would be admitted, but his son's name was not on the list. Father hurried to the county magistrate for trial. The magistrate turned to look at the scroll and saw a faint mist on it, but there were no words. Father scolded as soon as he got home. Why is your paper so ugly? The son cried: Nobody grinds ink for me in the examination room, so I have to dip my pen in water and write on the inkstone. ?

8. Playing mahjong on a hot day, suddenly the power went out, so I had to buy candles to continue playing. Half an hour later, it was too hot to stand, and a man said, turn on the electric fan. It's so hot. ? Another human interface:? You can't open it. It will blow out the candles. ?

9. "Armstrong, the first astronaut to land on the moon, said a world-famous saying:? One small step for a man, but one giant step for mankind? . When he returned to the lander, he said something inexplicable: Good luck, Mr. Gorsky. ? Most people in NASA think that this sentence has no deep meaning and may refer to a Soviet astronaut. However, neither the Soviet Union nor NASA has such a person. After that, many people asked Armstrong every year. Good luck, Mr. Gorsky? What does this sentence mean? He just laughed. In Tampa Bay, Florida, a reporter poked out this long-asked question again, and this time Armstrong finally spoke. Mr. Gorschi died not long ago, and Armstrong thought he could answer. When he was a child, one day, he and his friends were playing baseball in the yard. His friend is hitting the ball under the window of his neighbor Mr. and Mrs. Gosky's house. When Armstrong bent down to pick up the ball, he heard the couple arguing. Mrs. Gorsky shouted, You want to sleep with me? Unless I die! Unless the neighbor's child landed on the moon! ? "

10. A hen laid a huge egg and many reporters came to interview. The hen was shy and silent, so she had to interview the rooster. I saw the cock roll up his sleeves. I won't comment on this matter at present, until I catch the ostrich! Several little boys scraped together a dozen dollars to buy toys, but they didn't know what to buy. One suggestion: go and buy sanitary napkins! People don't understand, why? The boy said, I don't know, but it is said on TV that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball and skate, and be carefree and happy. After watching more than n movies, I finally understand how movies are graded. Ordinary level: a good man gets the heroine; Counseling level: the bad guys get the heroine; Restricted level: everyone gets the heroine. The host asked the female player:? What is the purpose of men using Viagra? The female player blushed and thought for a long time and said, I can't figure it out. ? The host immediately said: Congratulations on your correct answer! ? There is a discussion under the table:? What a wonderful answer! ? A girl milked in a cattle farm for a long time, only a little. The master said to her: You not only squeezed the wrong place, but also squeezed the wrong cow!