I am a man. Why do I like to jerk my butt off when I ride a horse?

1. Sanzang: Who is the most handsome? Wukong: He is the most handsome who can recite the tightening curse. Bajie: The one who can dance with the golden hoop is the most handsome. Wu Jing: The one who knows how to cheat is the most handsome. Xiaobai: The one who can shoulder the burden is the most handsome. Sanzang: Actually, the one who lets people ride on him is the most handsome.

2. Sanzang: Why do I always have so many questions? Wukong: Because you can recite the Tightening Curse. Tripitaka: Does this have anything to do with the tightening curse? Wukong: If you don’t know how to recite the Tightening Curse, I promise to beat you into silence every day.

3. Tripitaka: What does one plus one equal? Wukong: Madman. Bajie: I don’t know. Wu Jing: Two. Xiaobai: Both the person asking this question and the person answering this question are perverts. Sanzang: Wu Jing, are you tired? Come on and ride together for a while.

4. Sanzang: I picked up one yuan. Wukong: Pay the money and don’t kill. Bajie: Give it to Uncle Pig. Wu Jing: I still have one yuan left to marry a wife. Xiaobai: It’s up to you to turn into a pet dog at night. Sanzang: Here you go, Xiaobai.

5. Sanzang: What is a woman? Wukong: Can fight. Bajie: I know how to dress up. Wu Jing: Can hurt people. Tripitaka: Wu Jing really understands life. Xiaobai: I can do it. Wu Jing: Only a novice understands life. Xiaobai: Someone who can work.

6. Tripitaka: HELP. Wukong: Goblin, don’t leave. I’ll be back later. Bajie: I own the urinal. Wu Jing: The moon is so round today. Xiaobai: I'll save you. Sanzang: Xiaobai, I love you. Xiaobai: Forget it.

7. Sanzang: What is love? Wukong: Punch and kick. Bajie: Qingqing, me, me. Wu Jing: Just plain. Xiaobai: Up and down. Crowd: Oh. Xiaobai: For example, my dear brother Sanzang and I. Everyone: Ugh.

8. Wukong: Immortality is really a pain. Bajie: Eating and drinking is really a pain. Wu Jing: Having nothing to do is such a pain. Xiaobai: Traveling around is really a pain. Sanzang: I am so happy to have a disciple.

9. Sanzang: Who do you like best? Wukong: Golden Cudgel. Bajie: Sister Chang'e. Wu Jing: Don’t say. Xiaobai: Brother Sanzang, vomit. Sanzang: Xiaobai Yingming, I can’t help it, I also like my brother Yudi who is both talented and beautiful.

10. Wukong (talking to himself): Am I a human or a demon? Bajie: People. Get beaten. Wu Jing: Demon. Get beaten. Xiaobai: Shemale. Get beaten. Sanzo: Demon? Get beaten. Wukong: Finally happy! It doesn’t matter if I’m a human or a demon!

11. Sanzang: Xiaobai, can you ride me tonight? Wukong: I'm sick again. Bajie: Xiaobai, you are lucky. Wu Jing: Let’s talk about this kind of thing at night. Xiaobai: Humph! The smelly monk wants me to step on his back again.

12. Sanzang: I like dogs the most. Wukong: I like monkeys. Bajie: I like sows. Wu Jing: Whatever you like, I also like. Xiaobai: It’s a good idea to have some taste. Sanzang dressed as a dog is my favorite.

13. Sanzang: You have to let me go. Wukong: No, there is no master or disciple in the casino. Bajie: No, I’m poor too. Wu Jing: No, I won’t play. Xiaobai: If you don’t give in, I will lose almost all my money. Tripitaka: I like it.

14. Tripitaka: Monks should abstain from drinking, sex, and wealth. Wukong: How to fight monsters without drinking. Bajie: How would you know it’s a goblin if you don’t see through it. Wu Jing: How can I marry a wife if I don’t save money? Xiaobai: Humph! The smelly monk wants to have it all to himself.

15. Sanzang: The middle-aged woman I just met is so beautiful. Wukong: Monster. Bajie: Even worse than Chang'e. Wu Jing: You can’t marry someone so old. Xiaobai: I'd better dress younger tonight.

16. Tripitaka: Riding a horse is so tiring. Wukong: Change? How fun it is to beg for food. Bajie: Change? How romantic it is to lead a horse. Wu Jing: Change? Take on more responsibilities and keep fit. Xiaobai: Change? It's so emotional to be ridden. Tripitaka: OK, evening.

17. Late at night. Wukong was mumbling, Bajie was snoring, and Wujing was gritting his teeth. Tripitaka: It’s a long night, and I have no intention of sleeping. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep, but I didn't expect you too, Xiaobai, and I would feel numb again.

18. Tripitaka: Wujing, are you tired? Wu Jing: I’m used to it. Sanzang: Are you hungry? Wu Jing: I’m used to it. Tripitaka: Are you thirsty? Wu Jing: I’m used to it.

Tang Seng: Do you want a wife? Wu Jing: I’m used to it. Sanzang: I’m used to it too.

19. Sanzang: Bajie, can I chat with you? Bajie: Why are you being polite to me? Are you talking about Sister Chang'e or about cooking? Tripitaka: Alas! We don't speak the same language. I only like Sister Guanyin and beef noodles.

20. Tripitaka: Wukong. Wukong: Huh? Tripitaka: Wukong. Wukong: Huh? ! Tripitaka: Wukong. Wukong: Believe it or not, I will fart you. Sanzang: I like the way the hair on your head stands up the most. 21. Tripitaka: I hope to obtain the true scripture as soon as possible and save the people from the fire and water. Wukong: I'm sick again. Bajie: I recite it very well. Sha Seng: You can travel a little longer. Xiaobai: There is a farmhouse ahead. You can drink water and eat.

21. Tripitaka: I hope to obtain the true scripture as soon as possible and save the people from the fire and water. Wukong: I'm sick again. Bajie: I recite it very well. Sha Seng: You can travel a little longer. Xiaobai: There is a farmhouse ahead. You can drink water and eat.

22. Wukong caught a goblin, and the goblin begged for mercy. Sanzang: Can this woman know how to dance? The leprechaun did a little dance. Sanzang: Can you sing? The goblin sang another song. Tripitaka: Okay, Wukong, do whatever you want.

23. Wukong caught another fairy. Sanzang: Can you dance? The goblin was speechless. Sanzang: Can you sing? The goblin was speechless. Sanzang: Is that possible? The goblin was speechless. Tripitaka: Alas, you have no value in living anymore.

24. Wukong caught another fairy. Sanzang: Can you dance and sing? Goblin: They will. Bajie: He seems to be a male. Sanzang: Wukong, torture him first and then deal with him. It is a waste of my feelings.

25. Wukong: Ahead is the Kingdom of Women. Bajie: Great! Wu Jing: I don’t know if there is anyone willing to be my wife. Xiaobai: I hope the smelly monk can let me go tonight. Sanzang: I must make these women happy.

26. King of the Daughter Kingdom: Do you want to stay? Tripitaka: I can’t even dream of it. King: Why? Sanzang: Men like beautiful women. King: Women like dedicated men. Tripitaka: Single-mindedness! I used to be a novice.

27. Sanzang and his party were "sent" to the city gate by the king of the daughter country. King: I’ve sent you off for a thousand miles, but I’ll say goodbye eventually. I’m going back. Sanzang: It’s still early, so you and I can go on another journey and come back for supper when it gets dark. King: Get out!

28. Sanzang: It turns out that lying down is more comfortable than sitting. Wukong: If it's swollen, stop farting. Bajie: Sanzang runs so fast. Wu Jing: Afraid of getting kicked. Xiaobai: I'm not fast, and when others kick him, the smelly monk slaps me.

29. Under the Flame Mountain. Sanzang: Why am I getting hotter and hotter? Wukong: Talking nonsense again. Bajie: Do you have a fever? Wu Jing: Just cover yourself with the quilt more often. Sanzang: I, I want to take a sauna. Xiaobai: It seems like he’s really starting to talk nonsense.

30. Tripitaka: How to cross the Flame Mountain. Wukong: Fly over. Bajie, Wujing, Xiaobai: Agree! Sanzang: No, let’s go over. Everyone was unanimous in their opposition. Tripitaka: One against four, I have decided, everyone go over. 31. Sanzang: I miss Sister Guanyin a little bit. Wukong: It’s no trouble for a fool to miss her. Bajie: Sister Chang'e is still beautiful. Wu Jing: I dare not have any wrong thoughts. Xiaobai: Old woman, force me to degenerate and curse you to grow old every day!

31. Sanzang: I miss Sister Guanyin a little bit. Wukong: It’s no trouble for a fool to miss her. Bajie: Sister Chang'e is still beautiful. Wu Jing: I dare not have any wrong thoughts. Xiaobai: Old woman, force me to degenerate and curse you to grow old every day!

32. Sanzang: Today is a bit boring. Wukong: I'd rather be bored. Bajie and Wujing were speechless. Xiaobai: I'm crazy if I don't care about you. Sanzang: Wukong, Xiaobai scolded you for being sick, are you? Bajie: It’s not boring now.

33. Tripitaka: Bajie, can you eat less? Bajie: I can’t help it, my belly is big. Sanzang: Really not? Bajie: I can’t help it, Greedy. Sanzang: Wukong, can you come over here? Bajie: No way, it’s time to lose weight.

34. Sanzang: I have decided not to talk anymore. Wukong: Seriously? Bajie: Why? Wu Jing: Are you okay? Xiaobai: Is your mouth blistering? Sanzang: I didn’t expect everyone to care about me so much, so I canceled my decision.

35. Sanzang: I have decided not to talk any more. Wukong: Huh. Bajie: Hmm. Wu Jing: Oh. Xiaobai: Oh. Tripitaka: Do you have any opinions? Agree or disagree, agree? Don't agree? Talk.

36. Sanzang: I have decided not to talk any more. Wukong, Bajie, Wujing, and Xiaobai were speechless. Sanzang: You don’t even speak anymore? I didn’t expect that if I didn’t say it, you wouldn’t say it either. I might as well set an example and take the lead.

37. Wukong: Sometimes I really want to beat up the smelly monk. Bajie: I can watch the wind. Wu Jing: Just talk about him. Xiaobai: We can do it while he is sleeping. Sanzo: Yes! I sleep very deeply, Xiaobai knows best.

38. Wukong: Is Sanzang asleep? Bajie: Tell him to try. Wukong: Tripitaka. Bajie: Tripitaka. Xiaobai: No response, it seems Sanzang fell asleep. Sanzang: Were you talking to me just now, dear Xiaobai.

39. Wukong: Xiaobai, stop talking this time. Bajie: Tripitaka. Wukong: Tripitaka. Xiaobai: ... Wukong: It seems that Sanzang really fell asleep this time. Sanzo: Strange? Why didn't I hear Xiaobai's voice?

40. Wukong: Xiaobai, you call first this time. Xiaobai: Tripitaka. Bajie: No response. This time he definitely fell asleep. Wukong: Xiaobai, you strike first. Xiaobai: Stinky monk, I... Sanzang: Xiaobai, is that you?

41. Tripitaka: Let’s hide and seek. Wukong: OK, I often do cloud somersaults. Bajie: OK, I often hide. Wu Jing: OK, I often don’t speak. Xiaobai: NO! I often carry smelly monks around.

42. Sanzang: Do you think the woman in front is a goblin? Wukong: No. Bajie: I don’t know. Wu Jing: It doesn’t look like that. Xiaobai: No matter. Sanzang: Sister, if you are a fairy, sing a song for us to prove it.

43. Xiaobai: Does Sanzang think that only fairies can sing? Wukong: I think so. Bajie: I don’t think so. Wu Jing: Actually Xiaobai can also sing. Sanzo: Great! Xiaobai, let's play to your heart's content tonight.

44. Wukong: Why didn’t Sanzang speak today? Bajie: His face is as pale as a white radish. Wu Jing: Xiaobai, does Sanzang have a stomachache? Xiaobai: It’s okay. The smelly monk asked me to sing a song last night.

45. Wukong: Why doesn’t Sanzang say anything today? Bajie: His face is as pale as a white-striped chicken. Wu Jing: Did Xiaobai sing to him again? Wu Jing: No, he sang a song to himself last night.

46. Wukong: Tripitaka has not spoken for three days. Bajie: I think we should divide the luggage. Wu Jing: Let’s find a doctor. Xiaobai: It’s okay, just find a fairy to sing a song for him. Tripitaka: Yes, female.

47. Wukong caught a goblin: Can he sing? Goblin: Yes. Wukong: Sing. Goblin: After you finish singing, can you let me go back to the concert? Wukong: It depends on your performance. Goblin: Can you catch my harmony too?

48. Wukong caught another goblin. The two goblins sang a song, but Sanzang didn't respond. Sing again, Sanzang still hasn’t responded. The two fairies were sent to the Heavenly Palace by Wukong. Sanzang: So beautiful! I have been deeply intoxicated.

49. Sanzang: Wukong, where is the singing fairy? Wukong: Going to Tiangong for a concert. Sanzang: When will you come back? Wukong (cold): Not coming back. Sanzang: That's fine. Next time, remember to catch two goblins with bigger eyes.

50. Bajie: Does Sanzang like beauties with big eyes? I like it too. Tripitaka: Bajie also has this kind of hobby? Bajie: Yes! Sister Chang'e has a pair of big eyes. Sanzang: Bajie, please go to the moon for a while!

51. Beggar: Please do me a favor and give me something to eat. Sanzang: Old man, we are also beggars. Beggar: A beggar still wears clothes? Tripitaka: That's wrong, Wukong, let's show it to this old man.

52. Beggar: Please do me a favor and give me something to eat. Sanzang: Old lady, we are also beggars. Beggar: Do you still need to beg for food when you are strong? Sanzang: That's wrong. Bajie, do somersaults and let her see.

53. Beggar: Please do me a favor and give me something to eat. Sanzang: Young man, we are also beggars. Beggar: A beggar still carries luggage? Tripitaka: That's wrong. Wu Jing, put down all the cooking utensils and let him take a look.

54. Beggar: Please do me a favor and give me something to eat. Sanzang: Little girl, can you sing? Beggar: No. Sanzang: We are also beggars. Beggar: Really? Sanzang: Yes, we can’t sing either.

55. Beggar: Please do me a favor and give me something to eat. Sanzang: Children, we are also beggars. Beggar: A beggar rides a big horse? Sanzang: That's wrong. Xiaobai, make a head for this little doll.

56. Goblin: Okay, please give me something to eat. Sanzang: Little goblin, we are also beggars. Beggar: I just want to beg for some food from you? Sanzang: Do you want to eat me? Easy to say. Can you sing a song first?

57. Goblin: Stop talking nonsense and take your life. Tripitaka: Wukong, help. Wukong sent the goblin to the Heavenly Palace with one stroke of his stick. Bajie: There is another beautiful fairy missing from the world. Sanzang: Alas, I risked my life just to sing a song.

58. Sanzang: Is the woman in front a goblin? Wukong: No. Bajie: I don’t know. Wu Jing: It doesn’t look like that. Xiaobai: No matter. Sanzang: Listen to Wukong, see how lonely she is alone, I will go find her and sing a song.

59. There was a cry for help. Wukong: Fairy? Bajie: Divide your luggage quickly. Wu Jing: Save Tripitaka quickly. Xiaobai: It doesn’t seem like that smelly monk shouted. Sanzang: Girl, don’t be afraid, I just want you to sing a song.

60. Girl:, be merciful and let me go. Tripitaka: Please show mercy and sing a song. Girl: I sang, can you let me go back to the concert? Sanzang: After you finish singing, I can accompany you to listen.

61. Sanzang: Wukong, are you there? Wukong: Yes. Tripitaka: Bajie, are you there? Bajie: Yes. Tripitaka: Wujing, are you there? Wu Jing: Yes. Sanzang: Xiaobai, are you there? Xiaobai: ... Sanzang smiled with satisfaction.

62. Sanzang: Is Wukong here? Is Bajie here? Is Wu Jing here? Wukong, Bajie and Wujing were all speechless. Take a walk. Tripitaka: Tripitaka, are you there? Wukong, Bajie, Wujing: Yes. Sanzang showed a satisfied smile.

63. Sanzang: Wukong, can you sing? Wukong: ...Sanzo: Did you acquiesce? Wukong: No! Sanzang: Then can you dance, and I will recite the mantra to accompany you? Wukong: I'd better sing a song.

. Sanzang: Bajie, can you sing? Bajie: I can’t sing well. Sanzang: It doesn’t matter if you can’t sing well, no one will laugh at you. Bajie: Why is Wukong staring at me with the golden cudgel? Sanzang: He wants to give you a beat.

65. Sanzang: Wujing, can you sing? Wu Jing: No. Tripitaka: Alas! Wu Jing, how can you attract a girl's attention if you don't know how to sing? How can you get a wife if no one notices you? Wu Jing: How about I try.

66. Tripitaka: Wukong, why are you seeking scriptures? Wukong: Take off the golden hoop and return to Huaguo Mountain. Sanzang: Is Huaguo Mountain fun? Wukong: Fun. Sanzang: Before you take off your golden hoop, come and play with me.

67. Tripitaka: Bajie, why are you seeking scriptures? Bajie: Change your mind and convert yourself to Buddhism. Sanzang: What should I do about Miss Gao from Gaolaozhuang? Bajie: How can she compare to sister Chang'e. Sanzang: When I come back, I will go to Gaolaozhuang first.

68. Tripitaka: Wujing, why are you studying the scriptures? Wu Jing: Save some money to marry a wife. Sanzang: How about I introduce you to one? Wu Jing: Really? Sanzo: Of course, but I heard that women like men who can cook Western food.

69. Tripitaka: Bajie, I have to talk about you. If you eat and sleep like this, how can you obtain the true scriptures? Bajie: What should I do? Sanzang: You can cultivate your sentiments, such as singing songs.

70. Sanzang: Wukong, why didn’t you meet the goblin today? Wukong: *! Can you also let the goblin live a few more days and let me have a rest too! Sanzang: Well, you take a rest first, Xiaobai and I will go find the goblin.