Don't tell them you can see.

You are blind, and suddenly one day you regain your sight, but a voice in your head says, "Don't tell them that you can see."

-Ask Zhihu questions.

Red flame

The empty Hall of Supreme Harmony (the main hall of the imperial court) is finally left with me, and my eyes are still empty, not even black. Every night, the scene of Nanling World War I three years ago churns in my mind, as if it had been a long time, and it seemed to have happened yesterday. I can't help but miss the "red flame" that has accompanied me for many years. It is the most handsome, resolute and flexible Dawan horse in my heart. I still remember that I was a self-reliant Wang Fu when I was sixteen, and my father said I could have my own horse. Red Flame was not prominent at that time. It is timid among the ponies. When he saw me, his eyes became firm, and I seemed to see my young self. I think he must also want to prove something. After traveling around five countries with me and experiencing countless battles, I realized my wish to sit in a high position and become the king of Liang Jing. I can't help but feel a dull pain again. If I wasn't young and promising, eager to win everyone's conviction and recognition, how could I be in command personally under the impulse of Nanling World War I, losing my "red flame" and the right to see the world? Tan En, the deputy division commander, was seriously injured in order to drag me back to the company camp, and never raced on the battlefield again. The seven-foot man gradually lost consciousness in memory and silence.

sound

A cold wind made me shudder. I took a nap on the dragon couch in the Hall of Supreme Harmony and subconsciously opened my useless eyes. Unexpectedly, I found that I gradually felt something, not nothingness, but black. I quickly rubbed my eyes and wanted to open them again. In the dark, I blinked slowly with a little Venus. My eyes have blurred images, and my heart is beating harder and harder, from fuzzy to clear. There was only a faint light in the hall of supreme harmony during the fifth watch. I'm so excited. I'm always afraid it's a dream. I am eager to find someone to verify this moment. I quickly shouted "Someone, someone, someone!" I stood in front of the dragon chair in front of the dragon couch, looking down at the empty royal highness, and raised my sleeves. It seems that I am only a little excited about sitting in this world. My unusually sensitive ears have heard Gao Ying's footsteps, and I am looking forward to this step. Suddenly, a voice in my head said to me, "Don't tell them you can see." My head ached violently and I fell to the ground again. I quickly asked, "Who is it?" who is it? Who are you? "I am particularly afraid in my heart. While speaking, Gao Gonggong has arrived. " Your majesty, an old slave. What happened to your majesty? Walking around, why not call him an old slave? "Gao Ying hurried to my side and helped me to the dragon chair. That voice is still ringing in my mind. I really didn't say anything, but my eyes were blurred and I was helped into Weiyang Palace (the king's bedroom). That night, I was too late to sleep.

Wangshang

That night, the voice didn't appear again, but it haunted me all night. While questioning the source of sound, I think about what the world is like during blindness. I am in a high position, but I often feel like a puppet. I feel the change of the world with my ears, and my decision becomes limited. I will doubt myself. So how does the invisible world work? I can't help but make this decision silently.

The next day, I was stung by strong light, but I felt extremely happy with the pain, but my inner decision remained unchanged. I told my maid to change clothes at close range according to the example, and I couldn't feel the difference in the corner of my eye. I laughed at myself and actually questioned the sense of identity of the slave class for centuries. They don't care what kind of people they serve or whether they can see them. Their sense of identity is deeply rooted, and I laugh at my sensitivity. Above the court, the ministers knelt down and shouted "Long live the king". I feel very noisy today. I saw many faces I haven't seen for a long time, and my eyes didn't dare to stay for too long. My name is "Aiqing come forward". I glanced at A Qiu Tan, who was haggard and much older, and my heart was filled with sadness. Prime Minister Wu plays the first song every day: "Your Majesty, the war with Xixia is inevitable. The Xixia envoys' unreasonable actions against your majesty on the Shangyuan Festival, the ultimate goal is to provoke war. King Xixia has long coveted Jingzhou. Even if we make more comity, the result will only be humiliation and can't dispel their ambitions. Sean, an ancient imperial doctor, came forward and said, "Your Majesty, the Prime Minister is right. After I was defeated by Nicole three years ago, I was not only weakened, but now Xiaoxixia dares to provoke. We can't sit still. " "Mr. Zhang, don't mention it again. Although our country is now preserving its strength and not competing too much with other countries, no one can destroy our arrogance and let others down. " Tan is still as brave as then, and his eyes are as sharp as then. "The king understood all the words of Ai Qing. It doesn't matter if I can't see it, but he laughs that I can't see the light of the king of Jingliang. Lost to Lingnan three years ago. In these three years, our purpose is not to make a fish in the future. Xixia used to be just a small country belonging to our dynasty. Now, I think this Xixia king is still so ignorant and short-sighted. Don't worry, Tan. Isn't he always clamoring for his father to gallop on the battlefield? Let him lead my 100,000 troops with the general and give Xixia an account. General Tan, you won't feel sorry for Jin Yan. "I saw tears and affection in Tan's eyes. He saw the long-lost king, the confident and decisive king. He made a big gift and shouted, "Long live the king!" "Long live the king!" I heard the call of all courtiers, saw the long-lost vitality, and my heart was full of hope. Speaking of which, the voice came slowly again. ...

Qingming garden

I feel irritable. At that most exciting moment, the voice appeared again. He is like a monster who knows my mood at any time. An inappropriate time in my body extinguished my hope of returning to the light. I am both curious and distressed.

At noon, in the pavilion of Qingming Garden, I was confused while thinking, and the warm light made the whole person lazy. I was awakened by a group of crisp laughter. Gowing was about to come forward to stop it when I hurriedly raised my hand. Only then did I realize that my subconscious actions were inappropriate. I caught a glimpse of Gao Ying's surprised expression from the corner of my eye. "Do you want to stop them? I want to hear it and feel the fireworks in this garden. It must be very lively. What are they doing? " "Report to the king, they are flying kites. It is little Ren Mei who flies kites with the ladies-in-waiting. " I saw it. I can see the initial smile crossing two paths. I kind of miss it. I haven't seen her for three years. She still lives as freely as before.

dignity

Back to Qingliang Temple, it's time for me to approve the memorial in the past. In the days of blindness, Li Li and I approved the throne every day. Lili grew up with me and Churan. Chu Ran's aunt is Zhao Yi of the late king. She almost grew up in the palace. Li Lili is my teacher's child and my Bandu. We study together. He wants to be a civil servant and can't practice martial arts, so he follows me with a sword and bow every day. When we were eight years old, we were infected with smallpox together. He signed up to take care of me. We are as close as brothers. Li Li's footsteps approached. "Your Majesty, am I on time today?" Lili hung down, her face full of familiar kindness. When I looked at him, I had to suppress my inner joy. I can't tell him my eyes and that voice right away. I need to wait until Gao Ying recedes. I couldn't help laughing when I called Gao Ying to step down. See Gao Ying shouted "promise" and handed the note in the sleeve to Li Lili. They exchanged glances and cast a glance at each other. I haven't changed anything. I was surprised, but also a little sad. I was so slow when I was blind that I didn't show any flaws under such conditions. There is no sound in my ear, but the sound in my heart is deafening. While opening the note, Li Li joked with me: "The king has had a good rest recently. The king is actually SHEN WOO in front of the temple. I seem to see Liang Chuyu again. " In the days of blindness, my most relaxed and happy time was chatting with Li Li and reciting the eulogy. We can talk about everything and have no scruples, just talk about friends and even relatives. At this time, I felt disillusioned and tortured. I can't face or question it immediately. I can only tell myself by luck that it may not be what I saw, so what is it? I don't want to give up the opportunity to explore the truth. I adjust myself in my mind to reduce the possibility of defects. We reviewed the memorial together as usual, but he couldn't understand it. At this time, Gao Ying handed Lili a note, which he had already put in his skirt after reading. Let's continue the past process. After the talk, the paper was taken away by Li Lili. "Your Majesty, I'll go back and tidy it up. In the evening, I'll ask Gao Ying to take back the approved content, and the minister will be exempted." I calmed down and had no nostalgia for the memorial hall I had never seen before. I know that the more mistakes I make at this time, the more confused I am, even more confused than when I lose the light. What I lost this time was my long-standing dignity and right to know the truth. I want to know more.

Late at night, I never stopped thinking about it. The more you can't see the memorial hall, the more you can't know the truth. But if I expose it, I don't know how many people have woven a big net around me in the past three years. Whether I can survive after exposing the truth is just a title. If I can't master the ever-changing network of state affairs, it will be destroyed in the blink of an eye. In the past, the music playing system was my new policy after I took office. Only I know all the music performances, and I will let my private sector "Organ Camp" secretly investigate the secret music performances. The head of the organ camp turned out to be Qiu, who was retired by my late king. The appointment of the head was secret. Only my father and I know its true identity. And three years ago, I couldn't even learn the contents of the memorial hall positively. Yes, I told Lily. I feel extremely painful, as if everything is connected and there is no solution. I even long for that voice to appear again, hoping that he can tell me everything he knows.

For the next three days, I didn't hear any information except listening to ministers talking about state affairs in the court. Li Li's and Gao Ying's notes only appear once every two days, and the paper written by Li Li and I is meaningless to me. It's just a huge woven net. I thought the country was peaceful and the people were safe, and it was an accident, which was not true or false. Probably the courtier who revealed the truth either thought I was stupid or useless. Three days later, things in Qingming Garden took a turn for the better.

A favorable change

Seeing lotus flowers in Qingming Garden at noon, in fact, my inner helplessness makes me want to see Chu Ran more. I miss her very much. Three years ago, she vowed to stop me from going to Lingnan for World War I, but I ignored her. I always thought that she didn't know me well, loved me too selfishly, and didn't know what I really needed. She put down her cruel words: as long as I don't listen to dissuasion, she will never see me again in her life, and I will treat her as a little girl with a temper and ignore her. I really can't see her when I come back from injury. She asked Gao Ying to give me a message. Gao Ying said that Ren Mei was still very sad when he cried. Come to my senses, I was still crying at first. Maybe I should really take care of her feelings, so that I won't be so entangled now.

Between thoughts, I saw a Bandu-like child under the gazebo, who was a little handsome. I really want to talk to him. Just as he was reading aloud, he asked Gao Ying to call him over. He said that he was the little prince Bandu, and Bandu was my younger brother under fourteen, named Xiao Chen. Say, I asked Gao Ying to get some snacks for the children. Whose child are you? "Back to the king, I am the son of Xiao Sheng, an old farmer." "Turned out to be xiao's little childe. Is your grandfather in good health? " "Thank you for your concern. My grandfather died two years ago." Xiao Chen noticed my surprised expression and quickly said, "My grandfather resigned in his early years and lived in seclusion. Wang is too busy with state affairs to know that nature is normal. My grandfather fell into the valley because he lived alone all the year round. My father said that we didn't take good care of him. " As a courtier, I live in seclusion, and it is natural that I don't know it, but his grandfather is none other than the secret of my late king Qiu's "official camp". I feel weaker and weaker. At this time, Gao Ying came quickly and handed tea with a smile. He said, "Whose little boy is this, so handsome?" Chen Xiaogang was about to speak when I stopped him and said, "Gao Ying, I'm tired. Help me go back to rest." At this time, I am weak and really only need someone to help me back to the temple. In the dead of night, I trembled all over, and the voice finally appeared again. ...

unfinished

This is porridge,

I sincerely invite you to pay attention to porridge for a week. I will share my love beans, a story of porridge and my thoughts every day. I hope everyone can put aside their stories together in a meaningful way.

Porridge is waiting for you.