Between life and death, between breathing, between love and hate, between thoughts, everything should be relaxed.

Between the breath of life and death, life is fragile, people have breath, and bodies have no breath.

So we fight for breath and live longer and longer. Between love and hate, everything has a cause and effect.

Chen Guo, a philosophy teacher at Fudan University, said that life and death refer to the tangible and infinite gap.

Health: it is visible and tangible, tangible, with temperature and feeling.

Death: Sound is tangible, elusive, distant and ubiquitous in our memory, just like floating in the sky and surrounding us.

Life is worse than death. When you are really on the verge of life and death, life is worse than death.

My mother found pancreatic cancer in the hospital on the second day of the lunar new year, and the head of the pancreas occupied and expanded, blocking the bile duct, which led to soaring jaundice, poisonous gas attacking the body and itching all over. The more I scratch, the more itchy my bones are.

Abdominal pain, intermittent abdominal pain, flatulence, upper abdominal obstruction, sweating all over, and chills all over after the pain.

Vomiting, vomiting for no reason, vomiting if nothing happens, rolling your eyes and spitting water.

Itching and vomiting, struggling every day, I have been in hospital for 22 days, and I have no strength after lying in bed for a long time. Disposable paper cups are so heavy. What's inside? It was empty at first glance, and my mother was even more afraid. I can't lift the paper cup.

So my mother is eager for surgery and thinks it is comfortable to cut off the tumor inside. Yes, it is very comfortable to cut off the operation.

On Tuesday morning, the doctor informed us of the operation tomorrow (Wednesday).

Mom is very happy and feels that she can finally operate. There is hope and redemption. We got everything ready, taking a bath and washing our hair, and getting ready to drink laxatives. At 5 o'clock in the afternoon, the nurse came and said that the blood bank was ischemic and the operation was postponed.

Shanghai Ruijin Hospital has long been short of type A and O blood. If we are type A blood, can we give it to mom? The doctor said no, but the blood bank and the blood bank will be arranged in a unified way, and your mother will not be alone.

I wonder why TV shows that passers-by, relatives and enemies can donate blood when there is no blood, but why can't we?

The doctor said, wait, report every day and arrange the operation. As long as there is a matching blood, we will operate immediately.

We had to wait, but my mother said it was strange. Her own strange diseases were strange, even her blood was strange. Such a big and famous hospital will be short of her blood, and it must be hopeless. If she is excited, she will feel dizzy and her blood pressure will rise. The only hope is death.

The East advised the West to enlighten them, and finally it was Wednesday. Today is Thursday. The ward-round doctor confirmed the operation at noon tomorrow (Friday).

Mom just threw up and asked me to wash her hair. Mom takes a dry cleaner, sits down to wash and then dries.

Now, I fell asleep after taking antihypertensive drugs.

Mother is full of hope for the operation. My fears can only be kept in my heart. With mom around, the operation will be successful. The doctor's skill is good, and so is the patient in the next bed.

Maybe I think differently after seven days of loneliness, because I dare not gamble, because I think I can't afford to lose, so I asked the doctor's opinion, the longest time to recover to the best degree after surgery, the worst possibility and the greatest possibility of surgery.

The doctor said that the occupation of pancreatic head is certain, and the failure rate of pancreatic head resection is less than 3%. This kind of pancreatectomy is relatively mature in China. The problem is that the pancreatic head blocks the hepatic artery, which is likely to be broken during stripping. There are two methods of rupture, one is to connect the original artery and the other is to connect the artificial artery. The probability of complications, infection and failure increases greatly after the two heads are spliced, from 3% to 30%. At the same time of resection of pancreatic head tumor, gastrointestinal gallbladder and duodenum should be partially removed, cut and sutured, and then rinsed.

Brother's meaning, the doctor must have said it seriously, all the consequences have been put forward, and 70% must be Bohai Sea.

Sometimes reluctance is not a multiple-choice question, but a necessary decision.

Life is like a ship sailing on the sea. It's a big ship nearby, a boat in the distance, a little shadow in the distance, and then it sails to the other side of the terrace and leaves the line of sight. This great ship has not disappeared because of this.

The ship may return, but life is gone forever. That's because everyone is Tao, moving in parallel, and parallelism never crosses or meets. The cycle of life and death is not this life.

Seed germination, growth, flowering and fruiting are a process. Seed germination determines the sacrifice of seeds and the growth of buds. The flowers withered, then disappeared, and ushered in rich fruits.

Spring, summer, autumn and winter, the cycle of the four seasons, between life and death, between love and hate, everything is optimistic.

Blessed by the Bodhisattva, bless mother's successful operation tomorrow.

Between love and hate,