What are Zhou Libo's classic jokes?

classic lines 1. thank you! I feel very honored that so many of you have come to visit me today ... 2. The stock of Allah (us) not only plays with people, but also plays with birds. Even the birds have been killed by you, so why does Allah play with a bird? ! 3. Every time Allah can see Premier Wen in the old farmer's house on TV, he always picks the dirtiest person to shake hands (then Zhou Libo makes Premier Wen's statement): "Allah is late!" Everyone thinks he is a stock god, and even the aunt who sells onions in the small market says, "I have news!" " 5. The most disabled people (poor) are those sparrows. The big screen in front of the securities company has never been red, but it has always been a bright green forehead. Sparrows don't understand. They think that * * * Green Forest Park has arrived, and the green land in Yanzhong has arrived, and they only rush to the big screen! Go for one and die, go for one and die. 6. Who is Sarkozy no two no three, no three no four? 7. Later, I went to observe the Yuanxiao mold. It turned out that they vomited after drinking half a mouthful, and some of them vomited badly even the foam! Basically, they swallow and spit all afternoon, and a cup of black coffee can be drunk into cappuccino. 8. collapse, collapse is to collapse into pieces! 9. A person must have a legal concept and know how to protect himself. Of course, if you understand the law, you will not break the law, which is a waste. 1. The worst thing is the cramp dance (cramping), where three or four hundred people jump together as if they can't find the toilet. 11. Do you still remember cutting girls' swimsuits? It's like ... more than 6 venetian knots are worn on your body. Later, a skirt was added, like the skirt of a turtle. 12. friends! Help! Big friends! Marlboro, inside pocket! 13. (Magnetic Levitation) A large sum of money, 1 billion yuan, solved the traffic problem of 3 kilometers. 14. At that time, malt extract should not be too strange! I went to my classmate's house, and his mother made me a cup of malt extract, which was amazing! At that time, children were given malt extract! But I picked it up and looked at it. I was dying. How could I get the opposite picture? His mother just put a few (malted milk essence)! She put it as chicken essence! Also inserted a chopstick to call me: adjust a tune, adjust a tune! Originally, it was still a bit confusing (turbid), and it was clear (very clear)! ! At the beginning of 15.8, the Prime Minister said: 28 will be the most difficult year. Nothing happened before the Prime Minister said this. As soon as the Prime Minister's voice fell, everything happened. Did you take the train, derailed, celebrated the New Year, had a snowstorm, sat at home, and had an earthquake. 16. Liu Huan for so many years, I have never found his neck. 17. A fire, a fire, burned our Daxinganling. 18. Chris Lee answered me a puzzling question. Originally, I didn't believe Mulan Joining the Army. How could Mulan join the army without being discovered? . Later, I met Chris Lee, and I finally knew, Oh! It turns out that it is technically feasible! 19. Chris Lee-it's the same for boys and girls! 2. remember Marriage is a set meal to eat together, marriage is currency, and we should go together. 21. (Speaking of classmate's father) Bai Bai (uncle): Funny, do you want to hear Bai Bai's battle story? Do you want to hear how Bai Bai (uncle) is a monitor? Libo: Bai Bai (uncle), I want to hear it! Bai Bai (Uncle): At that time, I was a soldier of Ala's (our) sharp knife class. Ala's sharp knife class was always the first to fight. The enemy dropped a shell, and everyone next to me fell, but I didn't fall. Libo: Then what? Bai Bai (uncle): Then I became the shift leader. Libo: …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Bai Bai (uncle): platoon leader, this is really old (poor)! In those days, I took Ala's sharp knife squad and sharp knife platoon to pursue the enemy in Fujian. Ala rushed at the front, while the enemy retreated and fought, and the people next to me fell down one by one. When I rushed to the end, I was left alone. At this time. Six enemies fled to a temple in front and locked the door. At this time, I saw that it was wrong to call names. Where is my gun? I only had two grenades on me, so I pulled the lid off, took the lead, kicked the door open and shouted, I'm not alive! Libo: Then what? Bai Bai (Uncle): Then I became a platoon leader ... Libo: ....................................................................................................................................................... Bai Bai (uncle): This is really miserable! At that time, I took Allah's sharp knife platoon to fight, and Allah occupied a highest point. Allah and the sharp knife were connected together, as long as we waited for the general attack, as long as Allah did not let the flag fall. A burst of crazy shooting, the flag fell, and my comrades picked it up. With a bang, his comrade-in-arms fell, and one rushed up to help him up. Finally, when I looked at it, I was the only one left. I think I'm going to die this time. But I died gloriously for the revolution! I left my comrades in arms for nothing! So I rushed up to raise the flag and shouted, "Comrades! I am ready to die! " The enemy surrendered as a result. 22. Not one in a thousand years, but a Zhou Libo. You think I'm a turtle! 23. To be friends with a person, we should not only accept his advantages, but also like his shortcomings. This is called-lack of happiness (fool). 24. Bowing for such a long time is not for applause. In fact, I mainly want everyone to check my head. 25. Now our China stock market, on the other hand, has become an accident. 26. Two unfavorable factors come together, which makes us laugh and laugh. 27. If you spend 38 yuan in Maggie to see Zhou Libo and you don't laugh, you can take Zhou Libo to the hospital. 28. Think about it, this 38 yuan is useless at home. You can see at most, hey, this is a counterfeit money! This is the beginning of HD! 29. The gymnasium, you think it is a spittoon jar! 3. Big stage! You think I'm blind! 31. This belongs to colored lingzi (hint) and colored flattery. 32. Yu-Ching Fei, I did the math for him. Every time he gave a good concert in Shanghai, he ran away the next day. He didn't spend money in Shanghai, which didn't do any good to our GDP in Shanghai! 33. Yu-Ching Fei is an actor I like very much. How good he sings and how good his temperament is. This man is terrible. 34. Think about it, a man, standing on the stage, is sissy, but he is not bad (annoying). This is absolutely difficult! You must tolerate my ignorance like your leader. I don't mean that a leader must be ignorant, but the basic of ignorance is leadership. This sentence is wrong! How can a leader be ignorant? Leadership is called great wisdom if stupid! 37.3 years, Saddam can become a faded sentence (chihuo). 38. Retail investors can also become a loser. 39. Red guy (boy) can become a mold (big brother); Mold can also become a red guy. This is called the red model. 4. Guan: So do all of you think he looks like a welder in these glasses? Zhou: Would you please stop flirting with me? 41. I am very careful. I found that in the swimming pool, especially for female compatriots, the angle of this swimming trunks is 2 degrees on average in five years. 42. (Trademark) is gone, from Shanghai. No matter how strong the accent is, as long as there is this thing (trademark), Bazi (bumpkin). 43. Uncle, you know wow, this is called a heat sink! 44. I pinch off the two sharp tips of the deep-fried dough sticks, and my mother will pinch me again (my mother will pinch me again). 45. This kind of feeling is like you ran to Nanjing Road Hendry, and you said, Master, help me get three Rolexes. 46. I was beaten by my mother for eating. 47. If you want to be beautiful, you must mix as far away as possible. 48. If my face is a half-breed, at most it is a half-breed of Vietnam helping Cambodia. 49. This son is standing here, and this father must not be a fuel-efficient lamp! 5. Children always feel guilty when they make mistakes, and it's always the shit behind the door that doesn't last until dawn. 51. Newton became a great scientist when an apple fell on his head. What do you think if it was shot put? Newton would have died. 52. In this restaurant now, I learned how to put shredded radish under beef. I learned it from me in the 197s. 53. I took all the alarm clocks I bought at home apart and put them back together, but I didn't go. 54. Later, my mother's technology was innovated. She hit me with two slippers, one for fake action. 55. Fight me like a zebra. 56. (Imitating a female classmate) Hey, Zhou Libo, did your mother buy new slippers again? How did you know? Your pattern today is different from yesterday's. Your pattern today is straight and yesterday's is S-shaped. 57. Happiness and happiness are two different things. 58. I don't know who came up with a sentence: Ah, don't let your children lose at the starting line! Bah! 59. If children in this country have lost their innocence, then the future of this country must lack imagination. 6. Once I happened to be driving, a 12-year-old child was on the phone and called the radio station to order a song for her mother. Aunt, I want to order a song for my mother. What song do you want to order for your mother? I want to order a song by Aunt XXX for my mother, which is called "Why Women Difficult Women". 61. Now you ask Li Ka-shing to work out this linear equation, but he promises not to, not to mention the quadratic linear equation. 62. Think about it, where did the former monitor and study committee go? Are selling tickets at the door. 63. For example, Guan Dongtian's home is 1 square meters, and Zhou Libo is 5 square meters. Since it was sent to the Statistics Bureau, Zhou Libo has inexplicably become 75 square meters. 64. (Speaking of Night Park) You have to escape after 6 o'clock. Why? Because the defense team came out, the flashlight shone on you, and the defense team in the early 198 s was a dirty embryo. 65. (Talking about the Moscow National Ballet Company's visit to China) I found a strange phenomenon. Almost everyone has a telescope, and there are also high-powered telescopes in the first row. 66. I can't do that kind of action. It's ugly. Wow, it's so big. I brought a single tube ... 67. I stand on the back of the chair and look at it. It's very small, but look at Ha Qingsang (very clear). Without losing elegance ... 68. Without Comrade Xiaoping, there would be no us. Maybe we are still fighting cocks. 69. Later, before leaving office, he (Deng Xiaoping) was worried that they would close the door again, so he took down the door cover to get where we are today. 7. I have a friend who has 42 TV sets at home ... He repairs TV sets. 71. (Speaking of 79 years, there was a TV at home) At night, I asked my aunt next door to borrow a red armband and put it on my hand. Then I took a ruler and sat in the back. Yesterday I sat in the first row. Do you still want to sit today? Sit in the third row! 72. This is over, and if it is over, it will be wrong. This is called fault. 73. I'm the most hungry to watch TV series. I'm really hungry. I'm always hungry. If a close-up just happens to be pushed up and pushed to my face, oh, I'm hungry. I'm really hungry. My nostrils are like two bowls of rice. (The scariest thing is watching TV series, which is really scary. If it happens that a close-up shot is pushed up and pushed to the face, oh, it's really scary. Really, two nostrils are like two bowls of rice. How scary! ) 74. This is the world of Marlboro. (Cantonese) 75. Nongwa Yaogang, the Sangyi of the American Red Elder Association. Don't say that Americans really know how to do business. ) 76. The advertisement has come in. I show it to you every day, but I can't buy it. 77. (Speaking of piling molds) At this time, a new industry appeared in Shanghai, which has been called piling molds until now. 78. All the piling molds in Shanghai seem to be taught by a teacher. They are all dressed in the same way. Maybe they are drinking Pujiang water together. 79. How can it be fun? What do you mean? ) 8. Men and women should never forget romance after marriage. Men will send 999 roses before marriage, and don't just snore after marriage. On Valentine's Day, don't forget to give your wife a beautiful rose. You should know that the spiritual value of a rose is far higher than that of a towering tree for women. 81. It is also a sign of self-confidence for a wife to trust her husband! Management is not good, and the foundation of marriage is trust! A marriage without trust becomes a shackle ~ a shackle ~ which will be shattered sooner or later! 82. Everyone likes money, but money doesn't necessarily like everyone. 83. Children have their own future. Don't impose our future on them, otherwise they will have no future. 84. (After singing) Thank you for your tolerant applause. I am confident to abolish Yu-Ching Fei now. 85. I'm hungry, so I'll go up and touch the Iraqi boat at once. Hey, Mao Lao reads me. I was very naughty when I was a child. I immediately went up and touched his hand. Yo, it was hairy. Because foreigners are hungry for perfume, now they know that they wear perfume because they have body odor. 87. we are now more and more tolerant of the public mentality, right? At least now we also admit that Chris Lee is a woman! 88. There is a text called Mulan joining the army. I killed her at that time. I don't believe how Mulan could have joined the army without being discovered! It's impossible! I didn't know until I met Chris Lee. Oh! This is technically feasible! 89. The last time I opened it from the computer, I saw that a poster in Chris Lee was always beautiful and hungry, and the little girl was always hungry in sunshine! The following is a slogan of the family planning commission, called: Give birth to boys and girls alike. 9. Children's Song: Comrades, catch Lao Yi (catch him)! Speculation sells salted water tablets (a cheap summer product in the old days)! Comrades, catch Lao Yi! Speculation and selling laga. No (toad)! Now: speculation is called intermediary. 91. For example, Xiaogang Feng, can his face be called a face? 92. Xiaogang Feng, with his face, if I met him in the alley at 9: 3 in the evening, Xiaogang Feng just walked over like this, and I didn't want him to do it. I just gave him my wallet. 93. It used to be that the lone ranger was always hungry, but now it's called Sa? Now it's called logistics. 94. How can there be experts in the stock market? There can't be experts in the stock market! The stock market has only losers and winners. 95. Now We're the world! 96. Everyone stopped at the bar, and the faces of the two experts were deeply locked. 97. There is no concept of divorce in the mountains, and it is thought that being born is a pie with fried dough sticks. 98. (Talking about stocks and divorce) Forget it, everyone is stuck, let's live together. 99. It used to be called pickpocketing for a long time, but now it's called Lamy. Because I think the rabbi is tough. 1. (Talking about the classmate's father) There are countless injuries, one here and one there, like a deck of mahjong tiles. 11. I have seen her own (Han Hong), and her front teeth are still separated. Take a closer look, yo, small tongue can see it! 12. People in the cultural and artistic circles, I have come to a conclusion that people with ugly faces are generally strong. 13. Is Zhang Yimou ugly? Absolutely hungry! Nong Gangyi's beauty belongs to Nong's problematic category! 14. Zhang Yimou's face is like being chopped by a kitchen knife.