Classic WeChat friends circle funny paragraph?

We are in the era of WeChat, and brushing friends circle is a daily habit. We often see funny stories in the circle of friends. The following are the classic funny paragraphs of WeChat friends circle that I carefully arranged for you, hoping to help you!

Humorous wechat jokes

1. The husband came home and found his wife and doctor lying in bed. Doctor: Don't get me wrong, I'm taking her temperature. Husband: If what you put into my wife's body has no scale, you are dead.

2. Seeing that my ex-boyfriend sent a circle of friends to thank Mr. Cang, I silently replied a comment: Don't thank, you have learned nothing.

The so-called growth is to hear the word "rough" and never think about the sea again.

I want to walk with you from bed to living room, from living room to kitchen, from kitchen to balcony, and then back to bed from balcony.

5. "Dare to ask what kind of woman is a real woman." "No expansion."

6. The Tang Priest and his disciples learned from the West. One day, the Tang priest was hungry and said, "Wukong, if you are hungry, ask your master." Go and eat some vegetarian food! " Wukong will be back soon with only a few cucumbers in his hand. Tang Priest: "Where are we?" Wukong: "Fiona Fang is full of cucumber fields, and I don't know where it is!" " Tang Priest: "Help me up, I must be in the girl country!" " "

7. "Is it easy to be a woman? Wear skirts and safety pants in summer. " God replied, "Is it easy to be a man? I finally picked up a skirt and saw a pair of safety pants. "

I went swimming in the reservoir yesterday, and my leg cramped and I almost drowned. Fortunately, my girlfriend saved me. If I hadn't cheered her up this morning, we would have really become desperate mandarin ducks. ...

9. The sound insulation effect of staying in a hotel is poor. When I was about to sleep, I heard a woman's voice from next door: "Honey, don't sleep." Male voice: "Nothing, didn't it happen often before?" Just as my face turned red, the woman said, "* * *, the power of the mobile phone will be broken after being charged for one night."

10. Don't talk to me all the time. Talking to me will make you * * *?

1 1. After reading many jokes, I suddenly found that the words "making money is important" are also dirty.

12. On the subway, a young mother is nursing her baby, and her four-year-old son is watching intently. I'm a little angry, so small, so shy: son, don't be ashamed. The son turned around and asked loudly, mom, they are all girls. Why is this aunt and grandmother so big and yours is smaller than dad's? ***! Whose Xiong Haizi is this? I don't know!

13. One day, everyone got together to chat and talked about their interests. One person said, "I like cleanliness." Suddenly, I said, "Who is clean?" Another man said, "Who is it?"

14.6 and 9 hugged each other tightly and shouted: fit, transform! So, it became a Japanese word.

15. My brother came back from the shower and asked me a very serious question, "If you are taking a bath in the bathroom and suddenly a woman comes in, where do you cover it first?" I said, crotch. My brother didn't say anything I said, "Cover your face." My brother kept silent. I said, "Where did you hide your face?" He said quietly, "I covered her mouth!" " "I bow down! ! !

16. Wait for someone at the coffee bar. There are two girls at the back table. A lovely girl, a woman. It seems that he is waiting for someone, too. The lovely girl is watching Korean dramas, and the female man is playing mobile games. The lovely girl suddenly said, Oh, look at the way he smiles, he feels that the whole person is going to melt ... The woman doesn't lift her head when playing games, and she says she is wet if she doesn't melt ...

17. Female: You gave it to me ... Male: Sorry, we both drank too much last night, so it happened. The woman rushed over and gave the man a good beating, but she also scolded him while beating: "You smelly rascal, you know you are happy and don't wake me up!" " "

18. When a man is awake, it is the moment he has just finished rolling. At that moment, we felt that we had seen through everything in the world and were carefree, leaving only the sadness of our balls. . .

19. My fists and ass are only hard for you, and your eyes and ass are only wet for me.

20. I passed a family's bathroom today. There seems to be a gas leak in that bathroom. I saw a woman naked with her hands on the window. There was a man holding her in the back and pushing her out. Give this woman artificial respiration from time to time. The situation is very critical. I picked up the brick board on the roadside and smashed it. Break the window and let the air in. Then he left with a deep reputation. That man chased me behind my back to thank me. I guess he wants to thank me in person, so I run faster, because I always do good things without leaving my name.

Humorous sentences in friends circle

What is the difference between thirst and hunger? Xiao Ming: I know, teacher. Teacher: Great. Tell me about it. Xiao Ming: That depends on where the cucumber is put! Chinese teacher: Get out!

Go to the hospital for examination if you feel unwell. The doctor took my paper and said, "It's a good thing you came in time." I just breathed a sigh of relief when the doctor said with concern, "If we wait any longer, there will be no room in the morgue."

4. The meat that grows on * * * and chest is sensible meat.

When I was a junior, I worked as an intern in a graphic design room in Shanghai. My boss was very stingy. A week after arriving at the company, I happened to catch up with a project, and the boss said to invite everyone to eat and drink. After a few drinks, everyone was drunk and prone on the table. Only when my boss and I look at each other, I feel a little embarrassed. Suddenly, a colleague around me poked me in the waist and gently reminded me: "Get drunk quickly, or it's your turn to pay the bill ~ ~"

6. I went to the store to buy water and got the cashier 10 yuan a bottle of green tea for me. The cashier gave me seven yuan change, gave me a bottle cap and said, "There is no green tea. You can take this and another bottle cap and go to the store opposite to buy another bottle. "

7. I just bought something in the school cafeteria and heard a shocking conversation. Student: "Boss, how much is a bag of fifty cents toilet paper?" Boss: One Piece.

8. At dinner, my father gave me a piece of chicken skin. Me: Dad, why did you clip me? Dad: Because chicken skin will look good. Me: Then why don't you give it to mom? Dad: Because mom can't be any more beautiful. No matter how beautiful she is, dad is not at ease.

9. Soldier: Hello, company commander. I want to take a family leave. Company commander: Your performance in the army these years is the best, and you have never taken a vacation. I was going to promote you to sergeant these days, alas ~ you let me down. Soldier: My wife is pregnant! Company commander: If you want to use a gun, just say so!

10. I was very naughty when I was a child. Once the teacher invited my parents, but I was afraid to tell them, so I went to my uncle for help. The teacher talked with my uncle for more than two hours, and then the teacher was obviously good to me at school, and then she became my aunt.

1 1. After the meeting, the Chinese teacher rubbed his sore eyes and said, "I killed people in my last life, but I taught Chinese in my life ..." The English teacher took a sip of tea and said slowly, "No one got married in my last life, but I taught English in my life ..." The geography teacher who was in a hurry to go to the toilet shouted, "Stealing rice in my last life, stealing rice. "

12. In winter, every time your feet reach a new place under the covers, it is an adventure.

13. Real warriors, poor and idolized, ugly and greedy, sleepy and staying up late, never doing homework.

14. Show your love. If you have nothing to do, you can send any transfer record, just like * * *.

15. Don't ask me how I'm doing. It's not like I don't have Alipay.

16. On my way home, I saw a beautiful girl walking in front of me. I felt itchy and gave her a rogue whistle. I blew it twice and it didn't respond. On the third blow, she suddenly turned around and said, "If you want to strike up a conversation, you can strike up a conversation. What do you mean by blowing my sister to pee? " ! "

17. In the car, I asked the coach, "Master, am I all right?" The coach replied, "You see me sleeping in the co-pilot, which means you can drive." After a while, I asked again, "Master, were you asleep just now? ! "Coach:" You scared me to death. . . "

18. Teacher: When you can't find anyone, please prove your anger in one sentence. Xiaoming: Where is * * *? Teacher: Pay attention to quality. Xiaoming: Oh, where are you? Teacher: Get out. ...

19. "Honey, I want to stand on the balcony for a while." "What do you think? It's so cold at midnight. What are you doing on the balcony? Caught a cold, how to treat it? You are the pillar of the family. If you fall, how can this family be repaired! " "But, wife, this washboard is too hard, I really can't kneel down. . . "

20. My mother kept staring at me and asked, "Our family must be descended from Gong Yu! ? "I looked at my mother with a puzzled face. Mother straightened her waist: "The two mountains that have been passed down from generation to generation in our family have finally been leveled by you!" " "

Funny WeChat joke

1. Obviously, he is the son of township cadres, and he is a rich second generation in cities.

No one will give you a step, move a chair yourself.

If the heart is not like the sea, how can there be a career like the sea?

4. How many pairs of eyes are left after ten years?

What is crazier than falling in love is lovelorn.

6. Don't be afraid of temptation. If you * * * that means you are a good person; * * * Failure shows that you are a good person.

7. One heart can only hold one person. If you hold two people, then you are not alone.

8. Don't rob me. Although I can't be coquettish, I can wrestle.

9. You should know that the future of Telunsu will not be too bright, so we don't have to be so pure.

10. Fortunately, pigs, unfortunately, people. I am a lucky unfortunate, at least I sleep like a pig.

1 1. Which Chinese teacher taught you math?

12. If you can't be a bad guy, be a good guy who tickles the bad guy's teeth.

13. Your advantage is that it is useless at critical times.

14. Promise Chairman Mao: I will never pinch the flowers of my motherland again. I can pinch flowers and bones.

15. I feel that going to school to copy homework every morning will enrich my life.

16. Go, go, don't spoil the word youth, you are already in beginning of autumn.

17. In order to find out the cause of insomnia yesterday, I have insomnia again today.

18. You are the flattest woman in the world that I have ever seen. You are not an airport, you are simply a basin, and water will accumulate in rainy days!

19. I dedicated my most perfect years to compulsory education.

20. A woman has two mouths, one for telling right and wrong and the other for eating people.