Classic lines of Degang Guo crosstalk

Yu Qian: Hey, it's all full today.

Degang Guo: I'd like to introduce the famous crosstalk performer sitting next to me.

Yu Qian: I dare not.

Degang Guo: Donkey money.

Yu Qian: Donkey money! Yu!

Yu:? Yes, sloppy fish.

Yu Qian: Mahu still wants donkeys, so, dry ditch.

Degang Guo: Yu Qian. Crosstalk is really good.

Yu Qian: You flatter me.

Degang Guo: I am very happy to return to my hometown to perform.

Yu Qian: Are you at home?

Degang Guo: I've been playing somewhere else some time ago. Long time no see, I feel very confused.

Yu Qian: Competition? What race are you playing against?

Degang Guo: You don't know what our country is doing these days?

Yu Qian: We are hosting the Olympic Games.

Degang Guo: Yes, isn't the Olympic Games a competition?

Yu Qian: Oh, did you go to see the Olympic Games?

Degang Guo: Look! You don't know me?

Yu Qian: No.

Degang Guo: No culture! Don't you usually read newspapers and TV?

Yu Qian: Look, I didn't notice you. What do you do?

Degang Guo: I-I-I'm embarrassed to say that my career is great for fear of scaring you.

Yu Qian: Don't scare me if you speak boldly.

Degang Guo: Then I really said it.

Yu Qian: You said you said.

Degang Guo: I'm a football player! You said this thing, which reason?

Yu Qian: Oh, you are a football player.

Degang Guo: Why don't I sign it for you?

Yu Qian: No need. You are not Beckham. What's the use of asking for your autograph?

Degang Guo: Really? Don't regret it. When I become famous and a star, I won't need it. You don't even have room for me.

Yu Qian: Then I'll often run to bars, and maybe I'll meet you again.

Degang Guo: Yes, you are familiar with life in our circle. Have you ever played football before?

Yu Qian: Who is it? People all over the country know where to find you. The media reports it every day.

Degang Guo: You don't know, do you? Actually.

I didn't play football before.

Yu Qian: So what do you do?

Degang Guo: After graduating from junior high school, I worked in a bath center.

Yu Qian: Please wait! Does anyone in the bath center want a child like you? The law doesn't allow it.

Degang Guo: Well, I'm not young. I was 2 1 that year.

Yu Qian: You just graduated from junior high school 2 1.

Degang Guo: Well, you started school at the age of seven, with eight years in primary school and six years in junior high school, which is exactly 265,438+0.

Yu Qian: You have been in school for a long time.

Degang Guo: After working in the bath center for a while, I found a problem.

Yu Qian: What's the problem?

Degang Guo: People who come here are very rich.

Yu Qian: That's true. Ordinary people go to bathhouses.

Degang Guo: They all live in buildings and drive cars. How rich they are! When can I be so rich?

Yu Qian: You can also work hard by yourself.

Degang Guo: At the turning point of my life, I met a noble man.

Yu Qian: Who did you meet?

Degang Guo: Your father?

Yu Qian: Does my father go to that place?

Degang Guo: Not only that, but also our distinguished guests. All ladies can order what they want.

Yu Qian: gnome male-",don't say this.

Degang Guo: Yu Qian's father, Wang's father, this old man-

Yu Qian: Wait a minute! My surname is Yu, and my father's surname is Wang.

Degang Guo: Father?

Yu Qian: Which one? Just one!

Degang Guo: Yu Lao. This old man is really a good man.

Yu Qian: Do good people go to that place?

Degang Guo: That night, the old man finished steaming in the sauna and went into the massage room. He pointed at me and said, Degang, Degang, come in and rub it for me.

Yu Qian: Let you pinch?

I also want to know. Is it for a change?

Yu Qian: What a mess!

Degang Guo: When he entered the massage room, he was already lying on the massage chair. I was holding it for him when the old man asked me, Degang, I think you are sad all day. If anything bothers you, tell my brother.

Yu Qian: Brother? What a generation this is!

Degang Guo Yu Qian's Crosstalk Lines

Xi Zhengmeng's classic lines:

1, Corporal James, American five-star general.

There is a Degang Guo in China. Military wizards are literate, literate, martial-minded, able to mount a horse, know women on the kang and shoes on the kang.

After making money, I will do nothing when I go home. Let's open a big shop. Let's run a company. I will buy a big table and be the boss. I hire 10 people with red hoops to stand in front of me every day. I scolded them one by one. I don't scold the toilet sweeper every day, because my daughter-in-law cleans toilets.

The pilot took out the money and added 30 yuan of oil to the helicopter.

5. Who knows that thing in America! Ask the village chief!

6. The white one in the White House-freshly brushed pulp.

I really want to eat lobster, but I don't want to eat cake.

Classic lines in my life:

1, unknown crosstalk actors Degang Guo and Yu Qian.

It was very cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the belt buckle down and put it in my pocket.

3. I want to commit suicide and plan to jump off a building. I have studied this kind of jump. The second floor is different from the twentieth floor. The second floor is "pa" and "ah", and the twentieth floor is "ah-"and "pa"

4, there are difficulties to help, there is no difficulty to create difficulties to help.

It rained twice this week, once for three days and once for four days.

6. My friend said that he printed counterfeit money for me, and I gave him 50 yuan-he gave me 1 yuan counterfeit money, and I suspect that he cheated me.

Jing Li driving classic lines:

1, Jing Li, Allegro is good, Beijing faction leader.

I ran a race with someone and a disabled person in a wheelchair, and I lost.

3, drive three miles, my god, it's so exciting!

Leave a big bag and open it. It's full of money. "My mama of, too exciting, god! Not only can I buy a car this time, but I can also marry a beautiful wife! " Bang! A woman fell, this beautiful woman, lying there. "God, it's so exciting!" Just as it was beautiful, four policemen came over there and said, "Hey, did you kill this?" Car accident!

Classic lines in I am a scientist;

1, Guo: I will release it when I finish studying that year.

Y: let it out?

Guo: Let it go after learning!

Y: Have you studied enough? You were locked up after your sentence was released, weren't you?

Guo: I've learned enough!

Y: After graduation.

Guo: We are very knowledgeable. Yes, we didn't shoot those who were killed and those who were released.

2, play, play, play, go means go, play. Work hard and finish my playgo quickly.

Classic lines of "I am a triad":

1, look at people, drivers buy big buildings, look at you, you have nothing, the ground under your feet is shaking, the water around you is flowing, your hands are shaking, and tears are flowing in your heart.

2. Jade: Is your father's surname Cui? Guo: Your father's name is Jian!

3, you don't listen! Little bastard! I said, dad, don't say that. Don't say children are rabbits. Genetically, it's not good for parents. Father was anxious and rolled his arms and sleeves. I want to fight you!

4. People always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good things, but they always think ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We're too embarrassed for ghosts.

5. Have you seen the movie Young and Dangerous? Have you seen it? Yes, yes, we are together. Does the Hong Kong Red Star Society know? I want the red star. But we are not the headquarters, we are from the branch office. I'm from Niulanshan.

6. I come from the underworld. Look how black I'm dressed.

Classic lines in On Dreams;

1, Guo: Brother (God) wishes the world peace, the people live and work in peace, the country and the people are safe, and there is no war, okay?

Y: You ask too much.

2. Guo: Can I exchange it? Let's discuss something else. I use modest photos to touch my body. Brother, look at this. He looks poor and can't find a partner. You give it to him and make it beautiful. Brother (see the photo torn) let's talk about world peace. It's outrageous that I said this about you. You don't agree, you don't agree. Why did you tear it up? I still have it to ward off evil spirits.

Classic lines of "I want to go to the Spring Festival Gala":

1, "I'm glad to pay a New Year call to you!" Let's "Happy New Year to everyone!" With a bow, the crosstalk ended.

2, follow the advertisements and engage in TV dramas together, and the circle is quite chaotic. In particular, it is not easy to engage in TV dramas and film and television circles. I hate them very much. There are too few female directors.

3. They all say that I am good-looking.

People give baskets to singers. When they came to us, there was no wreath.

Classic lines in Give My Son to His Wife;

1, who doesn't know Yu Qian? You didn't eat pork before you met Yu Qian!

2. Guo: You drove a 13 Cadillac.

Y: I came by train.

3. Guo: The conditions at home are very difficult, and the house where I live is also very difficult. It's riddled with holes. It is fatal to catch up with the rain.

Y: why?

Guo: It's raining outside, it's raining outside, it's raining outside, it's raining outside, sometimes it's too big, so the whole family goes to the Third Ring Road to take shelter.

4. Guo: At that time, the old man was in good spirits and his face was red. An 89-year-old man has just lost one tooth, but he is eating, and it is full.

Y: Is there a tooth still stuffed?

Guo: He has eaten lotus root skin.

Cousin Jing Li's classic lines:

1. Her photo is posted on the door to ward off evil spirits and on the bed for contraception.

Sister, I think this is a misunderstanding. Everyone makes mistakes. I hope you can forgive us. I'll send them to surrender later. I will get a job and be a good person. Thank you, big sister. We must turn over a new leaf Go home.

3. Get off, Sister. You cann't kill too many people The rain has wetted the land. Give us a chance to reinvent ourselves. I don't want it. I'll marry you both. Karma!

Classic lines from I want to travel:

Guo: This is a big gamble. Five cents each.

Y: Oh, you've seen money.

Guo: I like going abroad because I like western food very much.

Y: That's the right place to go.

Guo: Someone brought you a plate, a small cake, cut, with eggs, rolled lettuce with sauce and sausages.

Y: Take a knife and fork, eat eggs and fill cakes, right?

Guo: I have flown. When I bought the ticket, it said, first class, economy class, business class, standing ticket.

Y: standing ticket? There are still standing tickets on the plane?

Quotations from Degang Guo's comic classic lines.

1, come to heaven, the buildings here are beautiful, and there are signs on both sides: no stalls around heaven 100 meters!

If you want to eat a hamburger, wrap a piece of paper and open it. Want to eat crabs, uncover them; Want to drink milk, take the steamed bread and pull it. ...

3. Degang Guo's Classic Quotations: The story told today is not far from now. If there is an old man at home, you can go back and ask him. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period ...

4, I buy 50 good cars-Alto, Alto, Alto! Get up with a dart and drive like a train!

5. An elder was very successful and robbed 1.83 million in cash. At 5: 40 pm, when * * arrived, it was still blocked with the North Third Ring Road.

6. He didn't park his door, didn't park his lock, and it was a bank security lock. He can pry it open with celery.

7. Degang Guo's classic quotation: Scientists can do martial arts, and even immortals can't stop them.

No one who doesn't know him has ever eaten pork.

9. I haven't eaten for days, and everyone looks like pancakes.

10, listening to cross talk for twenty, making sixteen thousand. Laugh and add money. ……

1 1, just then, Bush's Bp machine rang, which was British.

12, Degang Guo's classic quotation: Do they have a family style? If you don't pick things up in the aisle, you will lose them. ……

13, your shameless appearance has my youthful charm.

14, you are in good health. I can see at a glance that you must live to death.

15, this young man looks like an actor. ...

16, we got lost halfway. He took out a bunch of instruments and pointed to the needles in the southeast, northwest and northwest ... I said you were all behind, so we had to adopt advanced methods and throw shoes.

17, I have ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school. I was named the most familiar face in the school. When the new teacher came, he asked me the inside story of the school. ...

18, I ordered shark's fin fried rice, but I couldn't find shark's fin in three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin.

19, "Dad, I'm hungry!" "Hungry again, didn't you eat last year?"

20. the lock is opened with a noodle, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

2 1, I threw the shot so far, and the coach said that it doesn't count if people go out!

22. Don't leave after the party. I'll treat you to dinner ― whoever goes will pay.

Isn't that blonde? ) nonsense, it's blonde, with your eyes closed.

24, this brain nucleus is a big pine nut, open the skull and see, it is a bowl of stew.

25. Would you like to listen? Are you willing to listen or are you willing to listen? I will never insist.

26, oh! He grinned at me! You think I dare not stew you. If we had a pot at home, I would stew you.

27. Degang Guo's classic quotation: Jumping off a building is too coke. I studied it. The twentieth floor and the second floor have different effects. The second floor is bang, ah! Twentieth floor. Yeah ~ ~ ~ Bang! high-tech

28. Degang Guo's classic quotation: Give forty steamed buns, eighty catties of pancakes and fry two copies of this recipe-there are many ways to commit suicide, which is too bad for food.

29, the old man is in good health, that is, his mouth is full of teeth, only one tooth is left, and his teeth are blocked when he eats ... eating lotus roots has solidified in his eyes.

30. Tian Er flew up, ran down the road with his head down and left. He picked up his head and had a little contest with this stone ... Tian Er lost.

3 1, go your own way and say who you want. ……

32. Give a catty of watermelon and weigh it on time.

33. The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

34. Last time I drank too much, I used chopsticks as chicken feet and ate one and a half.

Classic sentences of Degang Guo crosstalk.

1, tired of walking, he sits here, the dog sits here, one side is high, and people who come over wonder: Whose twin is this?

Scientists know martial arts, and even immortals can't stop them.

This guy robbed the bank and drove on the North Third Ring Road. 5: 30 in the afternoon! When the police arrived, the traffic jam was very serious.

Listening to cross talk shows that you are patriotic. There is a child near our home who can speak seven or eight foreign languages, such as English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic and West Slavic ... Can he sit with Eight-Nation Alliance and scold him anyway? Tell him you listen to cross talk. "Don't go! I don't understand! " Ignoring the law, I would have killed him! I can't understand cross talk in foreign languages!

If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury it.

6, lobster, sea crab, haha! I like to eat shells! Waiter, bring him a plate of melon seeds.

7. Flight 90 1, from Xizhimen to Zhongguancun, the fare is 5 yuan, please board. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants will shout when they stand there. Let's go, let's go. There are big seats, there are big seats.

8. The white one in the White House-freshly brushed pulp.

9. I am a rich man. Today, backstage, I drove here and they all came on foot. The old gentlemen in Tianjin began to leave on Tuesday. But my car has had some problems recently, and the speed is a bit slow. At first, I thought the carburetor was dirty. I won't know until I check. I dropped my pedal. ...

10, speak louder without electricity!

1 1, your shameless appearance is like my charm.

12, grenades are expensive. If there are six in a dollar, I'll throw you a hundred dollars first.

13, don't go after the party, go to eat-whoever goes will pay.

14. A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is not a good driver.

15, this young man looks like an actor. ...

16, huh? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week.

17. From today on, I will never eat lobster again.

18, "Dad, I'm hungry!" "Hungry again, didn't you eat last year?"

19. Last time I drank too much, I used chopsticks as chicken feet and ate one and a half.

20. Pancakes and steamed buns are eaten with rice.

2 1, the party is over, don't leave. I'll treat you to dinner, and whoever goes will pay.

22. The relationship between husband and wife is not necessarily good, and the good relationship is not necessarily husband and wife; Crosstalk masters don't necessarily speak crosstalk, and singers don't necessarily know music.

23. I have money at home and drive a Cadillac with 13 doors. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", oh, triple jump.

24. Give a catty of watermelon and weigh it on time.

25. "Grandpa, how can I go to America?" "Then who knows ... ask the village chief!"

26. I haven't eaten for days, and everyone looks like pancakes.

27, you must not hit him, nor scold him, as long as the money, we can discuss. But to put it bluntly, more than 100 yuan can kill the ticket.

28. The story told today is not far from now. If there are old people at home, you can go back and ask, during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period.

29. At first, half of Beijing was full of black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, stop the magic."

30, lobster, sea crab, haha! I like to eat shells! Waiter, bring him a plate of melon seeds.

3 1, the noodle lock is opened with a wave, and a pack of instant noodles can open a community.

32. The house we live in is full of holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes it rains so hard that the whole family takes shelter in the streets.

33. There are always more than 1000 pieces of traditional crosstalk left by the old man. After years of continuous efforts by our actors, there are now more than 400 pieces left.

34. Everyone is willing to listen, everyone is willing to listen, or everyone is willing to listen. I will never force it.

35. "Grandpa, how can I go to America?" "Then who knows ... ask the village chief!"

36, ok! This plane, like Dafa, has a rocking glass! ..... sitting on a big hat, Li Xia didn't give the newspaper ... Tianjin didn't make a big hat, but they all went to the United States ... and flew to the United States for half a year, adding more than 40,000 oil.