Funny stories about couplets

The second half of the story should be

The scholar said, "The big basket is a basket, the small basket is also a basket, and the small basket is put into the big basket. The two baskets make one basket." The farmer was tired of hearing it, and it happened that Someone carrying a coffin passed by and chanted to the scholar: "The coffin is also a material, and the scholar is also a talent. The scholar is placed in the coffin, and the two talents are combined into one."

/question/25023517.htmlHere There are also many funny couplet stories. . .

I searched some more on the Internet, I hope I am satisfied~~~

1. In the Qing Dynasty, there was a county official who was greedy for money and tortured many people. He died unjustly at his hands. There are so many poor people. However, if there is property given to him, then even if it is a serious crime, "big things can be reduced to trivial matters." Therefore, there is a complaint in the local area that "the yamen is open with eight characters, so no one can come in if they have a reason and no money." This corrupt official pretended to be deaf and dumb, and was shameless. Not only did he ignore the voices of the people, but he also took bribes and violated the law in an even worse way. One New Year's Eve, he wrote a couplets himself and posted them on both sides of the door. The joint text is:

Love the people like a son;

Enforce the law like a mountain.

After this self-proclaimed couplet was posted, corrupt officials were filled with joy and drank to their heart's content on New Year's Eve, getting extremely drunk.

The next day was the first day of the Lunar New Year. At dawn, the housekeeper reported outside the door: "Master, there is something wrong with the couplet!"

The corrupt official heard that there was something wrong with the couplet! Cha Zi quickly put on his clothes and got out of bed and ran after the housekeeper. As soon as the red lacquer door opened, the crowd of onlookers dispersed. The corrupt official took a look and found that the couplet he had written was lengthened, and what followed was a white paper with black words on it. He looked closer and saw that the couplet had been changed to:

I love the people like my sons, and all the gold and silver are my sons;

Law enforcement is like a mountain, but what is the mountain of money to back it up?

The corrupt official was so angry that he hurriedly asked the housekeeper to tear up the couplets and closed the door dejectedly.

At this time, the people watching from a distance were delighted, whispering and reciting this couplet to each other.

2. During the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, Li Tiaoyuan, who had just become a Jinshi, became the academic administrator of Guangdong. Not long after he took office, a minister came. This patrol officer was originally a failed candidate. Because he attached himself to the powerful officials He Kun, he was given the title of "Cong Jin Tu". "Cong Jinshi" means slightly equal to Jinshi, slightly lower than Jinshi.

Although this Lord Inspector is not a real person who won the rankings, he is also somewhat clever, knowledgeable and eloquent. He had heard about Li Tiaoyuan's talent for a long time and was jealous. He had long wanted to find an opportunity to humiliate Li Tiaoyuan.

Once, when the patrol commander returned to Beijing from Guizhou (1), the local officials held a farewell banquet as usual. Li Tiaoyuan attended the banquet with some local officials, officials and celebrities. After drinking for three rounds, the patrolman twisted his beard and smiled and said to Li Tiaoyuan: "I have heard for a long time that academics and politics are good couples. I have an upper couplet. I have been thinking about the next couplet for a long time. What do you think of the academics and political pairs?" Li Tiaoyuan had no choice but to answer. : "Wish to hear it", the patrol officer read out the first couplet slowly and leisurely:

Three lights, sun, moon and stars;

After hearing this, all the officials and literati were horrified. , the determination was so absolute that Li Tiaoyuan found it difficult to express it for a moment. Those who were jealous of Li Tiaoyuan's superior literary talent were at odds with the inspector and were waiting to see his joke. Li Tiaoyuan usually read a lot of books. As soon as he heard it, he knew the source of the first couplet, so he calmly and casually answered it:

Four Ode to the Elegance of Poems.

The patrol manager and others were shocked by the response so quickly. However, the inspector did not give up because of this, and said: "I heard that your teacher is very important in the capital, but recently I heard that he often washes Mrs. Ru's feet. Do you know about this?" Li Tiaoyuan heard this. He insulted his mentor and was secretly annoyed in his heart, so he replied: "Seeing is believing. If that is true, only his slaves and maids can know. How do you know, sir?" This rhetorical question made Xun Xun The master blushed and said angrily: "I will use this matter to make a couplet again, and ask you to make a couple." Then he read:

How can I wash the feet of Mrs. Ru when I am so virtuous and respected?

After Li Tiaoyuan heard this, he said angrily and loudly:

He has little knowledge and little talent, so he was born as a Jinshi.

It was absolutely right, so right, so cruel and cruel, and made the inspector so angry that he felt ashamed.

3. During the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, Wu Shengqin, a native of Nanhui, Jiangsu Province, became a Jinshi. Appointed inspector of schools in Sichuan. Wu Shengqin not only advocated stereotyped writing and suppressed people with real talents and learning, but also abused his power, took bribes and perverted the law. The people of Sichuan hated him deeply.

One year during the provincial examination, Wu Shengqin was appointed as the examiner. There was a scholar from a poor family who wanted to pay bribes because he was short of money and thought that he had no hope of getting the bribe this time. When the results were released, Sun Shan's name really fell behind. Outraged by the corruption of selecting people based on their talents, he wrote a plaque and a couplet at the entrance of the examination room to satirize Examiner Wu. Title on the plaque:

Swallowing the Sky with a Big Mouth

The couplet is:

How can I read words if I have too few eyes;

I owe money and hope for safety. Fame?

This plaque is a couplet, using the method of splitting the characters. "The mouth is big enough to swallow the sky" is a metaphor for the surname Wu. Also, "province" was replaced by "shaomu" and "qin" was replaced by "gold owed". It is so wonderful to not only embed the name of "Wu Shengqin", but also to expose and satirize his corruption, corruption and bribery!

4. In the spring of the 22nd year of Hongwu in the Ming Dynasty (1389), Xie Jin went to Beijing to take part in the imperial examination. He passed the examination and was awarded the title of "Jinshi". Zhu Yuanzhang, Taizu of the Ming Dynasty, knew that this short man from Jiangxi, Jintu, was not only talented in literature, but also good at talking to each other since he was a child, so he couldn't help but be particularly fond of him. Because Zhu Yuanzhang himself also liked duplication, he often invited him to the palace to accompany him to talk about the past and the present, and recite poems and write poems about duplication.

Some old ministers were unconvinced when they saw that the emperor favored the newcomer Xie Jin, and they always wanted to find opportunities to undermine his prestige. Among them, the most representative figure is Ji Gang. Ji Gang is the head of the royal guards in the palace. The Jinyiwei was a secret service agency directly responsible to the emperor in the Ming Dynasty, specializing in nailing, informing, arresting and other activities. Ji Gang was sinister and vicious, and many civil and military officials in the court hated and feared him. However, Xie Jin did not buy his fault, and even often contradicted him. Therefore, Ji Gang became angry from shame and tried to find opportunities to insult Jie Jin many times.

One day, Xie Jin and Ji Gang happened to attend a banquet at the same time. Ji Gang thought that an opportunity had come, so during the banquet, he shook his head and chanted two sentences:

Water in the pond The duck has a flat beak and short legs and screams Xiaxia;

The turtle in the cave has a long neck and a hard shell and is squat.

Ji Gang scolded Xie Jin for being short and often interfered with his affairs. Xie Jin was not angry when he heard this, because he had long understood Ji Gang's origins: Ji Gang originally only passed the examination for scholars, but later failed in the examination many times, so he hung out with ruffians and hooligans in his hometown. Although he neglected his studies, he learned how to work in a camp to flatter horses. The ability to engage in intrigues and intrigues. Jie Jin thought to himself, why not take the opportunity to teach him a lesson, so that he could hold his breath for everyone. So, he left the table and walked to the center of the living room, and said in front of everyone: "The pair Mr. Ji recited just now is indeed good. I also have a good pair here, especially when used on Mr. Ji, it is very appropriate." Read aloud:

The reeds on the wall are top-heavy and shallow-rooted;

The bamboo shoots in the mountains have sharp mouths, thick skins and hollow bellies.

After Ji Gang heard this, his face turned red with embarrassment and he gritted his teeth with hatred, but he couldn't get angry. He vowed that he would definitely find an opportunity in the future to untie the knot in a serious way. Sure enough, it turned out that Jie Jin was drunk by Ji Gang with narcotic wine and then threw himself into a snowdrift and froze to death at the age of only forty-seven.

5. There once was a snob who tried every means to please his father-in-law in order to get a sum of money from him. One August Mid-Autumn Festival was his father-in-law's fiftieth birthday, and he thought this was the best opportunity to curry favor with him. So he invited a scholar to write a birthday couplet for his father-in-law, in which he was required to use as many boastful and beautifying words as possible, praising his father-in-law as high as possible and at the same time speaking of himself as low as possible. After hearing this, the scholar smiled and wrote the "Longevity Couplet" according to the words:

Great lord, your lord is above, three thousand miles up to the sky, the sky is building tall buildings, and you are upstairs. Wishing you a happy birthday, May you have longevity and health for thousands of years;

My late son-in-law, my late son-in-law is here, down to the eighteenth level of hell, hell digs traps, let me dig in the mud, and I will be a clay man, mud ghost, and mud for one life. Never get ahead in life.

On the day of his father-in-law's birthday, he presented this "birthday couplet", and all the guests in the hall burst into laughter after seeing it. One of the guests impromptuly recited a couplet:

The villain values ??profits but sells his integrity;

The big man cheats his son-in-law on his birthday.

That’s about it, I hope you like it~~~