Ability to be a man and do things (57): confused, I don't know where the road is, and the road is in the "four directions"

Whose life is not confused? Confusion is the normal state of life and many people should have experienced it. Youth will be confused, middle age will be confused, and even old age will be confused. The occasional confusion should not be a bad thing, which can make us think about life, so as to clarify the direction and development path of life and make life more exciting. But if we are in a state of confusion for a long time, we should pay attention to it, because it may make us mediocre.

What is confusion? Confusion means not knowing where the road is and how to go in the future.

Everyone has a different attitude towards confusion. Some people can go out, go out soon, and become excellent. Some people lose themselves in confusion and are completely mediocre.

Everyone has a different attitude towards confusion. Some people can go out, go out soon, and become excellent. Some people lose themselves in confusion and are completely mediocre.

Life will encounter all kinds of puzzles, which we can sum up as "four kinds of puzzles": First, the confusion of choice. This refers to the confusion in choice caused by the lack of self-awareness ability. Some people don't know what their strengths and weaknesses are, so they don't know what they can and can't do, and it's hard to make a choice. Once you see that others have made a fortune, you want to go into business. When you see others famous for their books, you want to be a writer. Seeing that others are powerful, they want to go into politics. Neither to measure whether you are an official, a writer or a businessman, nor to understand the hardships that others have paid before they succeed. The second is the confusion of persistence. This refers to the persistence confusion caused by the lack of self-planning ability. Some people have no plans for life and no clear development goals, so they don't know what to do and what not to do. When you encounter difficulties and setbacks, you will hesitate and look around, and it is difficult to stick to it. The third is the confusion of results. This refers to the confusion of results caused by lack of self-control. Some people know what they should and shouldn't do, but they can't resist the temptation, which leads to what they shouldn't do and is difficult to extricate themselves; Because of the lack of interest, time and energy, it is difficult to do what you should do well. The fourth is more confused. This refers to the confusion in comparison caused by the lack of self-transcendence ability. Some people don't understand that success in life depends not on how well we do compared with others, but on how well we do compared with what we can do. They don't fully realize that defeating others is only a by-product in the process of achieving life goals, and defeating themselves is the main product in the process of achieving life goals, which leads to the growth and progress of people of their own age, the same qualifications or younger and less qualified than themselves, and is unwilling and difficult to settle down.

In real life, some people seem to be born with clear goals. They know what they like and want, and they also know clearly what means they can use to achieve their goals. But some people don't know anything, as if the future is very confused and they don't know where the road is. In my opinion, to get out of the confusion, the road lies in "four directions":

Su Dongpo wrote in his seven-character poem "Title of Xilin Wall": "It is always different to look at the mountains from afar. I don't know the true face of Lushan Mountain, but toward which corner of the mountain. " This poem writes a profound artistic conception that no one can match: Lushan Mountain is so different from all angles because the people who look at it are in the mountains; To really see the whole picture of Lushan Mountain, we must leave a distance to really appreciate its manners.

There is an old saying in China called "It's dark under the lamp", which means it's hard for us to see anything too close to us. "The authorities are fascinated, the bystanders are clear" also reminds us from another angle that it is not difficult to know the objective world and feel the subjective world.

There is a fable that can inspire us: In the forest, animals are holding an annual competition about "getting bigger". When the old cow came on stage, the animals shouted "big." The elephant appeared on the stage, and the animals cheered: "It's really big." At this time, a frog in the audience corner was angry. Am I not big? It suddenly jumped on a boulder, bulging its belly desperately, and asked loudly, "am I big?" "Not much." The audience gave a mocking laugh. The frog was unconvinced and kept bulging. With a bang, my stomach burst. The poor frog didn't know how old it was until he died.

There is also a story related to self-knowledge: a mountaineer took part in the activity of climbing Mount Everest. At the height of 7800 meters, he couldn't support himself and stopped. When he talked about this experience, his friends felt sorry for him. Why not stick to it, grit your teeth and climb to the top? "No, I know best. The height of 7800 meters is the highest point of my mountaineering career, and I have no regrets at all. " He said.

The frog in the fable was punished by fate because he didn't know himself. The mountaineer in the mountaineering story is safe and sound because he knows himself.

It can be seen that self-cognition, that is, correctly understanding and evaluating yourself, is a very difficult and important thing.

If you want to improve your self-awareness ability, you must learn to feel yourself like another person, not only to recognize your own strengths and areas of expertise, but also to bring more success to yourself. It is necessary to recognize your weaknesses and areas that you are not good at, so as to help you avoid danger.

Give a simple example in life: Xiaoming wants to learn to play the flute. In order to learn this skill, he bought a flute, a flute membrane and a music score from the Internet. However, Xiao Ming has no plan, and neither does he. Apart from work and sleep, he spends most of his time doing nothing and has no plans. He brushes his mobile phone, watches IPAD and plays games, so that after so many years, Xiao Ming still hasn't learned to play the flute. This example shows that Xiao Ming has no plan, is not self-disciplined enough and has a loose life style. You can't learn to play the flute in a day or two. You need to plan ahead and spend time practicing hard to learn it.

1984, in the Tokyo International Marathon Invitational Tournament, the little-known Japanese player Ibn Yamada unexpectedly won the world championship. When the reporter asked him why he achieved such amazing results, he said this: beat his opponent with wisdom. Everyone is puzzled by his so-called "wisdom". 10 years later, he told the truth of this "wisdom" in his autobiography: before every race, I have to take a car to carefully watch the route of the race and draw the more eye-catching signs along the way. For example, the first sign is a bank; The second sign is a big tree; The third sign is a red house ... so I painted it until the end of the game. After the race started, I rushed to the first goal at a speed of 100 meters. After reaching the first goal, I rushed to the second goal at the same speed. In the race of more than 40 kilometers, I broke it down into several small goals and ran it easily. At first, I didn't understand this truth. I set my goal on the flag of the finish line more than 40 kilometers away. As a result, I was exhausted after running to 10 km, because I was frightened by the long distance ahead. The first symbol ... the second symbol ... the third symbol ... it was this step-by-step attitude that helped Ibn Yamada win the world championship. The enlightenment of this story is that after we have established a big goal in life, we should break it down into several small goals and work hard towards them first. Perhaps the road to achieving small goals is not smooth, but as long as we accumulate experience slowly, we believe that we can finally achieve the big goals in life.

A large number of facts show that successful people can modify their methods countless times, but they will never give up their goals easily; Unsuccessful people always change their goals, that is, they don't change their methods.

If you want to improve your self-planning ability, you must make your own life plan, define your own life goals, and break down your life goals into several specific small goals to achieve them one by one, so that you will taste the joy of success one after another.

Psychologists have long found that a person's self-control seems to have some connection with his life achievements. From 65438 to 0968, Walter Mischel, an American psychologist, presided over the famous "Cotton Candy Experiment" in Biying Kindergarten. At the beginning of the experiment, every child had a marshmallow in front of him. Children are told that they can eat this marshmallow right away, but if they can wait for a while (15 minutes), they will get a second marshmallow. As a result, some children ate the candy immediately, some children ate it later, and some children waited long enough to get the second piece of cotton candy. The original purpose of this experiment is only to study at what age children will develop some self-control ability. However, after 18, 30, and 4 1 year, the research team all got a consistent finding: those children who "can wait long enough" unexpectedly surpassed those who "can't wait" in their later life development and career achievements, which is the effect of strong self-control.

Lu Xun was late for school when he was a child and was punished by his teacher. Lu Xun carved the word "early" on his desk. It is intended to remind myself to always remember to get up early and not to be late for school, which fully shows that Lu Xun has strong self-control since he was a child.

If you want to see a person's future development trend, look at this person's ability to control himself and change himself, and you will know. If a person can control his diet, sleep, laziness and complaining, then he is not far from success. Many times, a person can't do one thing, often because he lacks self-control. Therefore, to a great extent, a person's self-control ability determines the height of his life development.

If you want to improve your self-control, you must know how to restrain your words and deeds, resist temptation, make no excuses for yourself, persist in doing what you should do, do what you shouldn't do, and earnestly do what goes around comes around, and do what goes around comes around, so success will come naturally.

What is self-transcendence? William james, a famous psychology professor at Harvard University, said: "The success in life does not depend on how well we do compared with others, but on how well we do compared with what we can do. A successful person always competes with himself, constantly creating new self-records, and constantly improving and improving. " What I'm talking about here is how to make a correct comparison.

However, in real life, some people's confusion comes from incorrect "comparison": I was born worse than others; I look worse than others; I am luckier than others; I compare with others ... this way may be endless, but they know that this "comparison" mentality is not good, but they will continue this incorrect comparison consciously or unconsciously in their daily work and life. Therefore, I am more annoyed, impetuous, confused and complaining. ...

In fact, as long as a person is better today than yesterday, it is a good thing, that is, surpassing himself. Everyone should always remember a truth, the correct comparison is to compare with themselves, and only those who constantly surpass themselves are truly smart. In life, everyone has his own unique temperament and talent, and everyone has his own unique starting point to realize the value of life. As long as we develop ourselves according to our own endowments and constantly surpass our inner stumbling blocks, we will not ignore the sun in our lives and get lost in the brilliance of others.

Next, tell a story about self-transcendence: in Germany, there was a little girl named Angela, who had poor physical coordination since she was a child, and learned to walk and run much later than her peers. When she was 5 years old, she often fell from the mountain, and even had a fear of going down the stairs, and she had no confidence in life at all.

After graduating from primary school, Angela was most afraid of going to physical education class. She is always worried that her clumsy movements will be laughed at by her classmates, so she often skips classes. When the teacher found out, he said to her, "If you run away for a long time, it will only make you worse!"

Angela can't help but bite the bullet and practice, but she always puts it off until class is over. Because she thinks that students will have little chance to see her jokes when they practice at this time.

12 years old, PE teacher teaches diving. After the teacher finished the essentials of diving, the students rushed to the springboard and jumped into the pool. Angela dawdled at the end, watching the students enter the pool perfectly one by one, and her heart became more and more afraid. Students keep passing by and going back and forth to the springboard several times. Some students teased her: "Why don't you jump? I must have been scared by the springboard! " Angela pretended to be calm and replied, "I'm trying to understand." She stood for 45 minutes. When everyone thought she was going to give up, she went straight to the springboard, made a bold jump and plunged into the depths of the pool. Although her movements were not very graceful, her finale attracted everyone and won applause.

This jump restored Angela's confidence. Only then did she realize that delaying until the end can actually leave enough time for herself to calm down and learn from others. Unexpectedly, after graduating from college, Angela chose politics, and later became the first female chancellor in German history, which is now Chancellor Angela Merkel.

In an interview with the media, Merkel recalled this childhood episode and said: "I had courage at that moment, and then I never backed down on anything." She said that she is the kind of person who "needs a lot of preparation time and thinks as much as possible, not a natural brave person".

After Merkel became German Chancellor, she still told herself to be calm. Even in the face of various crises at home and abroad, Merkel chose to make decisions again and again and made a lot of efforts to turn the tide. She once admitted that she was not a omnipotent woman, so she needed more time to think and try to win in slowness.

Merkel is a little fat now. She calls herself a "slow-heating fool", and some even criticize her for being timid and not inspiring enough. But Merkel has changed from an ordinary physicist to a formidable "political panther" and a "German mommy" deeply loved by the German people.

Merkel's experience shows that inner timidity is an obstacle for everyone. Take courage and surpass yourself, and your life will shine brilliantly. There is also: slowness is not a defect. On the contrary, if you can treat slowness rationally and calmly, you will gain a lot from slowness.

There is no doubt that there are differences between people. Some people are smart, others are mediocre; Some people are strong, some people are thin, and everyone's personality, interests, abilities and experiences are different. Only by developing according to your own potential and constantly surpassing yourself can you achieve greater success.

If you want to improve your self-transcendence ability, you must know how to encourage yourself with the phrase "make progress a little every day and persist in bringing about great changes", compare your past with your potential, explore your potential to the maximum extent, and constantly temper yourself, transform yourself, improve yourself and improve yourself in the process of self-pressure, asking for trouble and pushing yourself, and strive to create a more exciting and happy life.