Encyclopedia of English jokes?

As an urbanized genre of folk oral creation, English jokes are an important means of communication. This article is a short English joke, I hope it will help everyone!

Short English joke: a little boy and a donkey

The little boy and the donkey

A boy led a donkey through a military camp. Several soldiers wanted to play a joke on the young man. Why are you holding your brother so tightly, Sonny? One of them asked.

So he won't join the army, the young man replied without blinking.

A little boy led a donkey through the barracks. Two soldiers want to play a joke on this little guy: Boy, why do you hold your brother so tightly?

In this way, he won't join the army. The little guy answered without blinking an eye.

A short English joke: Johnny the gambler

Little Johnny's father is a retired gambler. Johnny inherited some of his father's bad habits. He gambled everything and gambled well. Finally, it became a problem, and Johnny's teacher called his father to discuss it. After a long talk, they decided to teach him a lesson.

One day after class, Johnny approached his teacher. "You're not really blonde," he said. "I have seen your bush. It is dark. You dyed your hair."

"Of course I don't know," she replied.

"I bet you ten dollars that you will," he said.

She saw this was an opportunity to teach him a lesson, so she took off her pants after all the other children left the classroom and showed him that her pubic hair was the same color as the hair on her head. Johnny paid her ten dollars and walked out of the room gloomily.

A few hours later, Johnny's teacher called his father. "I think I finally taught him a lesson," she said.

"Hell, you have," his father said angrily. "He bet me $50 this morning that he would see your vagina before the end of the day."

Short English jokes: conversations on the plane

On the plane, a stranger sat next to little Johnny. The stranger turned to little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I heard that if you talk to your passengers, the flight will be faster. "

Little Johnny just opened the book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What do you want to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"Ok," said little Johnny. "This may be an interesting topic.

But let me ask you a question first. "Horses, cows and deer eat grass. The same thing. However, deer excrete small particles, while cattle excrete flat patties and horses excrete clumps of hay. Why do you think this is? "

"Ah," said the stranger. "I don't know."

"Well, then," said little Johnny, "you don't know anything. How can you be qualified to discuss nuclear energy?"

Short English joke: Don't lose your temper on the plane

When a crowded passenger plane was about to take off, a 5-year-old boy broke the peace and chose to lose his temper at this time. No matter how his depressed and embarrassed mother tried to calm him down, the boy continued to scream and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the tail of the plane, an old man in the uniform of an air force general could be seen walking slowly along the aisle. The white-haired, gentle and soft-spoken general stopped his flustered mother with one hand. He leaned down, made a gesture to his chest and whispered something in the boy's ear.

In an instant, the boy calmed down, gently took his mother's hand and quietly fastened his seat belt. All the other passengers spontaneously burst into applause.

When the general slowly returned to his seat, a cabin attendant touched his sleeve.

"Excuse me, general," she asked quietly, "but can I ask you what magic you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiled serenely and confided softly, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars and battle ribbons, and explained that they gave me the right to throw a passenger out of the plane door on any flight I chose."

A short English joke: DOGGOKES

Q: If you cross a dog with a Concorde, what do you get?

A: Jet setter!

Q: What does a dog have that other animals don't?

A: Puppy!

Q: Why do dachshunds bite women's ankles?

A: Because he is short, he can't reach higher places.

Q: Where do Eskimos train their dogs?

In the paste room!

Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?

Because of the frost bite!

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?

An animal that barks at low-flying planes!

Q: What do you call an alcoholic dog?

A: A whino!

Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and a warm dog?

Santa Claus wears a full suit, while the dog only wears pants!

Q: When is the most likely time for a stray dog to walk into your house?

A: When the door is open!

Q: Why are dogs not good dancers?

Because they have two left feet!