Others respect you not necessarily because you are excellent, but because others are excellent.

Excellent people are respected by others, but being respected does not mean you are excellent

What we hear most often is: Excellent people are respected by others, and you must be respected by others. people.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with this sentence. It is what it is. Excellent people deserve respect! But few people seem to think about it: Does being respected mean that you are excellent?

Because of the opportunity of a speech, I heard this sentence and found out its original sentence and source:

I thought that others respected me because I was excellent. Slowly I understood that others respect me because they are excellent; excellent people know how to respect others. To be respectful to others is actually to dignify yourself. ——Tsangyang Gyatso

The original sentence of Tsangyang Gyatso seems to be more profound, like the essence of wind and oil when dozing, which makes people wake up. Yes, that’s right! Others respect you not because you are excellent, but because others are excellent. Excellent people respect everyone.

So don’t judge your own position and belittle or elevate yourself by other people’s attitudes. Other people’s attitudes only represent other people’s attitudes and standards.

So, what counts as respect?

Respect is often reflected in the details. It is not a purposeful politeness or an intentional act on special occasions, but a cultivation that is ingrained in one's bones.

The level of a person's self-cultivation is often not reflected in his attitude towards his friends, relatives and superiors, but in how he treats people who are "lower than him" or "inferior" to him.

eg: If the takeaway ordered is delivered late, some people will get tired and even curse; but if the leader is late in delivering the documents, they will smile and say "It's okay, it's okay" (large double-standard site)

There are many examples similar to this in life. Respect is for everyone and conveys a kind of equality. Of course, this equality is life equality rather than social equality.

What about people who respect others?

Here, let me share with you a short story about respect:

The famous psychologist Dale Carnegie once said something:

In a At the banquet, a gentleman sitting on his right told him a joke.

There happened to be a quotation in this joke. In order to tell the joke better, the gentleman added his own understanding of the quotation.

After Carnegie listened, he felt that the explanation of this sentence was incorrect, so he pointed out the error to the gentleman.

Unexpectedly, the other party insisted that he had not understood it wrong.

In this way, the two of them had their own opinions and argued endlessly.

So Carnegie found a friend in the literary world to comment.

After the friend heard the whole story, he touched Carnegie with his foot under the table to signal him to stop talking.

Then he agreed with the man's point of view and admitted that the gentleman's explanation was not wrong.

On the way back, Carnegie asked the friend very puzzledly why he favored the other party.

My friend smiled and said:

“Everyone has their own unique ideas, and reading literary materials is no exception.

We cannot ask everyone to have their own unique ideas. Personal interpretations are based on the meaning of the original work.

Instead of constantly arguing with others about the right and wrong interpretations, it is better to accept other people's differences and give others a step forward.

This is respectful. Others also appear to be well-educated. ”

There are many wonders in the world, and there are certain differences in every individual life.

We cannot force everyone to accept our own views, nor can we make others do things according to their own wishes.

After reading this story, I think Carnegie’s friend must be an elegant, easy-going and open-minded person. And the person who can say these words must also be an excellent person.

"A thousand readers will have a thousand Hamlets." In the process of dealing with people and making friends, you will more or less meet people who disagree with you, but this does not mean that you are both right or wrong, maybe it is just a different perspective of understanding.

That is to say, you can disagree with the other person's point of view, but please do not deprive him of his right to speak. You don’t have to like it, but you must respect it.

Don’t force others to agree with you, after all, every living thing is different!

Write it at the end

Those who respect others will always be respected. To respect others is to respect yourself. There needs to be respect between people.

But respect does not mean weakness, respect is mutual. We are all ordinary and ordinary people, we don’t have the big-mindedness to retaliate with kindness, and occasionally we have a little temper. Of course, we won’t blindly respect someone who doesn’t respect us!

People's hearts change people's hearts, and respect changes people's hearts.

Finally, Xiaoya wishes everyone to become that outstanding person!

As a newbie who has just started a public account, everyone is welcome to point out shortcomings, and I will accept them with an open mind.