Who can tell me some jokes (preferably in English)? Chinese is also ok.

A policeman stopped a man speeding. ...

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I didn't. I was suspended for the fifth drunk driving.

Officer: May I see the registration certificate of this car?

Driver: Oh, this is not my car. I stole it.

Policeman: The car was stolen?

Driver: Yes. Oh, but I remember. I think I saw the registration certificate when I put the gun in the glove compartment.

Officer: Do you have a gun?

Driver: Yes, sir. I put it there after I shot the owner. She is in the trunk.

Officer: There's a body in the trunk? ! ?

The police officer told the man to hold on, step back carefully and call for backup. Soon, the car was surrounded by police, and the captain found the driver to deal with the situation.

Captain: May I see your license, sir?

Driver: Yes, officer.

Captain: Well, this license is very good. Whose car is this?

Driver: This is mine, officer. This is the registration form.

Captain: Please open the glove box slowly so that I can see if there is a gun in it.

Driver: Yes, sir, but there is no gun in it.

He opened it and sure enough, there was no gun.

Captain: Do you mind if we open the suitcase? I heard you said there was a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk was opened, and there was nothing in it except a spare tire.

Captain: The officer who stopped you said that you told him that you didn't have a driver's license and stole the car. There was a gun in the glove compartment and a body in the trunk.

Driver: Yes, I bet he told you I was speeding, too!

The best way to

Mary loves Tom, but she is afraid that he will squander all his money when they go out together. "How can I stop Tom from spending so much money on me?" She asked her mother.

"marry him!"

Dating for mother

When the young waitress in the coffee shop in Tom's building began to wave hello every day. Tom was flattered because she was at least 15 years younger than him.

One day, she waved to Tom again. When Tom came over, she asked, "Are you single?"

"Oh, yes," Tom replied, grinning at her.

"So is my mother," she said. "Do you want to meet her?"

A new drug

Jack: I have invented a new medicine, which can effectively kill lice.

Tom: Great. How to use it?

Jack: When you catch a louse, just put a little of that medicine in its mouth and it will die immediately.