A joke begging girls to sleep.

After dinner, the husband and wife went for a walk in the park. My husband accidentally slipped. He stood up and scolded angrily, "This damn street lamp! Can't it be brighter? "

The wife covered her mouth and smiled: "Do you remember when we came here for a date before marriage? What did you say then? "

The husband wondered, "Did I say anything?"

The wife said, "At that time, you complained that the street lamps here were as bright as during the day?"

The benefits of courtship

Three men came to visit their relatives at the same time, and the father of the woman to be married said to them, "I can only let my daughter marry one of you, and each of you has its own advantages."

Man A: "I have hundreds of thousands of possessions."

Man B: "I have a mansion."

Man C: "I have a child, and now it's in your daughter's belly."

China's Classical Love Dialogue

Premarital

Woman: You had a girlfriend before?

Man: ten years of life and death are two boundless, and I forgot without thinking.

Woman: Dead? How did you die?

M: At the end of my tether, there are thunder in winter and rain and snow in summer.

Woman: Oh, it's a natural disaster. So how did you get here all these years?

Man: His face is dusty and smoky, his hands are gray and his fingers are black.

Female; Alas, it's not easy. What was your first feeling when you saw me?

Man: Suddenly, it's like the spring breeze at night, blowing open the petals of ten thousand pear trees.

Woman: (blushing) Is it that good?

M: dross is not the essence of beauty, but painting is the spirit.

Woman: Flatterer-do you have an ideal?

Man: If he becomes Ling at the age of 20, he dares to laugh at Huang Chao for not being her husband.

W: What about you ... think about love?

Man: But through these clouds, how can I know which corner of the mountain it is facing? .

W: Do you like reading?

Man: there are twelve volumes of the art of war, with the name of the Lord on them!

Woman: Is this cow blowing too hard? You are so talented, why are you still single?

Man: Sister-in-law is not married. Lotus seed knows how difficult it is.

W: (laughs) If, I mean if, I promise to marry you, what will you do to me?

Man: A piece of ice heart is in the jade pot!

W: Can you promise not to be attracted to other women?

Man: Any trouble will cause trouble. My concubine has a deep heart.

W: I trust you for the time being, but I'm going to study in America. could you wait for me ？

M: After so many years, it should be a beautiful day in name only.

W: But. ...

Man: If you lean on the fence alone, there is no limit. It's easier to see when it's not!

W: But. ...

Man: Wang Fu, a long river, turned to stone and never looked back!

Female; Okay, okay, I'm afraid of you. ...

after marriage

W: After being married for so long, are you still thinking about your ex-girlfriend?

M: once the sea was difficult for water, it was always amber.

Woman: Then why did you marry me?

Man: I don't know the guests in my dreams, but I want to have fun in the afternoon.

W: Too many. We are at least husband and wife.

Man: husband and wife are birds in the same forest, and they fly separately when the disaster comes.

What do you think of our marriage?

Man: I woke up and looked at the Chu towel several times, but I was still chilling in my dream!

W: Is it that bad? Didn't you say your first impression of me ...

Man: A beautiful woman is like a flower in Man Chun Hall, and only partridges are flying around her.

Woman: That's not true, is it? you should ...

M: It's not surprising that it used to be dirty, but now it's dissolute.

Woman: All along, my friends wrote to tell me that I didn't believe it, but I didn't expect it to be true!

M: What I got from paper felt superficial, and I never knew it needed to be done.

W: Where did all your original dreams go?

Man: Let's change the floating name to singing in a low voice.

Woman: (misty-eyed) You, didn't you promise a piece of Bing Xin?

Man: I can't bear to see this thing. It was burnt to ashes.

Woman: Aren't you afraid of being laughed at by relatives and friends and reviled by future generations?

Man: I'd rather die holding a fragrant branch than being blown into the north wind.

W: Should I agree to break up?

Man: We are still brothers after breaking up. Why do we have to be close relatives?

W: OK, that would be great.

Continued: Men and women exchange first.

Before marriage:

Man: Are you so beautiful?

Female: In the evening makeup, there is bright snow, in the spring hall, moths are filed (Li Yu's "Spring House Spring")

Are you still in the ladies' room?

Female: Before the independent flower, listen to songs and draw boats.

Man: You are so beautiful, why don't you have a boyfriend?

Female: Spring breeze is the heart of first-class youth, and I can't help hating it (A Cloud in Wushan by Zhao Zong)

Man: You won't lie to me, will you? Didn't you say you have a boyfriend?

Female: It didn't matter at that time to continue the frontier, showing tears.

Man: Oh, it's over. Are you sad?

Female: The past is empty, just like a dream (Li Yu's Midnight)

Man: spoony woman is heartless. Are you in love with him still?

Female: Holding the ribbon empty, I look back and hate Yi Yi (Li Yu's Linjiang Xian)

Man: (His face lit up) Are you lonely now?

Female: When the color enters a tall building, someone upstairs is sad (Li Bai's Bodhisattva Man)

Man: (eagerly) Can we make friends?

Female: (full of shame) Luoyang is waiting for you in the spring, but the flowers are flying like dragonflies (Ouyang Xiu's "Spring on the Jade Tower")

M: (laughs) Oh, that's good. Do you miss me?

Female: I miss you more recently (Nan Gezi of Wen)

M: Shall we have a heart-to-heart drink and tie the knot?

Female: Wu Xu's skirt is drooping and her face is flushed with wine (Ouyang Xiu's Lou Yuchun)

Man: Can you and I be together for a long time?

Woman: I rely on the east wind to blow my dreams, and I keep company with Lang all day long.

Really?

Woman: I'm exhausted for you, when the flowers bloom (text "Little Tears God")

Man: ...

Female: I miss you and hate the spring night (the article "More Leakage")

M: OK, OK. Don't get married unless you get married.

After marriage:

Man: (Telephone) Honey, do you miss me?

Female: Spotted bamboo branches, spotted bamboo skills, tears send acacia (Liu Yuxi's "Xiao Tears God")

Man: (Telephone) Really? Are you kidding?

Female: I have a red candle on my back and an embroidered curtain hanging down, but I don't know the dream for a long time (article "More Leakage")

Man: (Telephone) Really? I miss you too.

W: I just hope your heart is the same as mine. Don't miss it (Li Chi Ngai's Operator).

Man: (telephone) Sorry, honey, I'll be right back.

Female: Moonlight Screen Hates Yiyi (Mao Wenxi's Screen Hates)

(I found spider silk when I came back from a business trip)

M: You haven't been married long. How can you love someone else?

Female: It's a bad moment when people are away and Yan is empty (Ouyang Jiong's three-word order).

Man: Do you think I want to go out? Didn't I just scrape food for this family?

Female: The moon is bright and the flowers are pale, which makes you homesick (Ouyang Jiong's three-word order)

Man: Don't speak so beautifully. How are you getting along?

Female: The wind wrinkled a pool of spring water (Cheng Youwen's "Golden Gate")

Man: (suppressing anger) Who are you looking at?

Female: Two separated flowers are bound together in the morning and evening (Niu Xiji's Tea Son)

Man: Yes, yes, you hooked up with an ugly man like your neighbor! How did you hook it?

W: Let's go upstairs and watch the birth of the moon (Yan Feng has Throwing the Ball).

M: Well, it's quite poetic. How can you value such an ugly man?

Female: I remember the blue silk dress and pity the grass everywhere (Niu Xiji's "Life Search")

Man: Shit, am I bad to you, too? Don't I often call you?

Female: I can't see Jun Jun all day, but I look up and smell the joy of the magpie (Cheng Youwen's Golden Gate).

Man: Can't a woman bear loneliness?

Woman: Young, young, eat, drink and be merry as soon as possible (Yan Feng gave three orders).

Man: (speechless with anger) You, you ...

W: There are always thousands of customs offices in Qian Qian. Who should I talk to? (Liu Yong's "Lin Yuling"

So you regret marrying me?

Female: Luo Dai repents and is United, leaning on Zhu Lan to ponder (Wei Zhuang's "Qing Ping Le"

Man: Don't you miss our old days at all?

W: If you keep cutting, the reason will still be chaotic. Don't have a taste in your heart (Li Yu)

Man: Why are you still like this?

Female: The branches of red apricots are full of spring.

M: Did you take the initiative?

Woman: An almond came out of the wall.

Male: (vomiting blood, dizziness ...)