Joke Collection Website - Joke collection - 2-minute English jokes with translation
2-minute English jokes with translation
Once, two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down accidentally. He rolled his eyes and seemed to have stopped his fear. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and called the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First of all, you should make sure that he is dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone, and then he heard the hunter ask, "What should I do next?" Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them accidentally fell down and his eyes turned white, as if he had stopped breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency number. The operator said calmly, "The first step is to make sure that your friend is dead." So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask, "What's the second step?"
A talking clock
A talking clock
When a college student proudly showed off his new apartment to his friends, he led them into the study. "What are those big gongs and hammers for?" One of his friends asked. "That's a talking clock," the man replied. "What's the effect?"
"Watch," the man said, and then struck the gong deafening with a hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Stop knocking, you idiot! It's two in the morning! "
A student showed his friend around his new apartment and was very proud. "What's that big gong and hammer for?" One of his friends asked him. "That thing is amazing. This is a talking clock, "the student replied. "How does this clock work?" His friend asked. "Look, don't blink." The student stepped forward, picked up a gong and a hammer, and knocked deafening. Suddenly, they heard someone screaming on the other side next door, "Stop knocking, you idiot! It's two in the morning! "
secret of longevity
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on the porch.
"I can't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What is the secret of your happiness and longevity?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky a week, eat high-fat food and never exercise."
"Wow, that's amazing," said the woman. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
The secret of longevity
A lady walked up to the little old man rocking in a chair on the porch.
"I was surprised to find out how happy you are," said the lady. "What is the secret of your happiness and longevity?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky a week, eat high-fat food and never exercise."
"Oh, it's amazing," said the lady. "Are you old?"
Respondent: If you don't understand, ask 6258 | Level 3 | 2010-2416: 01| to report it.
Men go to church and start talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "in one second" a man walked into the church and talked to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."
Once, two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down accidentally. He rolled his eyes and seemed to have stopped his fear. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and called the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly, "First of all, you should make sure that he is dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone, and then he heard the hunter ask, "What should I do next?" Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them accidentally fell down and his eyes turned white, as if he had stopped breathing. Another hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency number. The operator said calmly, "The first step is to make sure that your friend is dead." So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask, "What's the second step?"
A talking clock
A talking clock
When a college student proudly showed off his new apartment to his friends, he led them into the study. "What are those big gongs and hammers for?" One of his friends asked. "That's a talking clock," the man replied. "What's the effect?"
"Watch," the man said, and then struck the gong deafening with a hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Stop knocking, you idiot! It's two in the morning! "
A student showed his friend around his new apartment and was very proud. "What's that big gong and hammer for?" One of his friends asked him. "That thing is amazing. This is a talking clock, "the student replied. "How does this clock work?" His friend asked. "Look, don't blink." The student stepped forward, picked up a gong and a hammer, and knocked deafening. Suddenly, they heard someone screaming on the other side next door, "Stop knocking, you idiot! It's two in the morning! "
secret of longevity
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on the porch.
"I can't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What is the secret of your happiness and longevity?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky a week, eat high-fat food and never exercise."
"Wow, that's amazing," said the woman. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
The secret of longevity
A lady walked up to the little old man rocking in a chair on the porch.
"I was surprised to find out how happy you are," said the lady. "What is the secret of your happiness and longevity?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky a week, eat high-fat food and never exercise."
"Oh, it's amazing," said the lady. "Are you old?"
Good boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman? "
"She is a candy seller."
Good boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? "
"She sells sweets."
Nest and hair
My sister is a primary school teacher. One of her students told her that a bird has built its nest in a tree outside the classroom.
"What bird?" My sister asked.
"I don't see any birds, madam, only a bird's nest," the child replied.
"Then, can you describe this bird's nest for us?" My sister encouraged her.
"Well, madam, it's like your hair."
Precautions:
(1) notify v.
(2) nest n. nest; nesting
3. Description
(4) Encourage
(5) reassemble v. similarity; similar
18. Nest and hair
My sister is a primary school teacher. Once, a student told her that a bird had built a nest in a tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird is it?" Sister asked her.
"Teacher, I don't see any birds, only a bird's nest." The child replied.
"So, can you describe this bird's nest for us?" My sister encouraged her.
"Oh, teacher, just like your hair."
I just bit my tongue.
"Are we poisonous?" The young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she answered. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I just bit my tongue!"
Precautions:
Poisonous
Because I just bit my tongue because I just bit my tongue. Cause in the sentence is the abbreviation of cause.
I just bit my tongue.
"Are we poisonous?" A young snake asked its mother.
"Yes, dear," she answered. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I just bit my tongue."
A woman who fell down
It was rush hour, and I rushed to a train at new york Central Station. As I approached the gate, a plump middle-aged woman rushed up from behind, lost her foothold on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. Her momentum brought her close to my shoes. However, before I could help her, she had climbed up. She calmed down, winked at me and said, "Do you always let beautiful women fall at your feet?"
A depraved woman
During the rush hour, I hurried to new york Luxury Center Station to catch the train. Near the door, a chubby middle-aged woman rushed from behind, only to find that she slipped on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. Her inertia brought her close to my feet. I was going to help her, but she stood up by herself. She calmed down, raised my eyebrows and said, "Do beautiful women always fall at your feet?"
English jokes (1)
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: Monkeys can have fleas, but fleas cannot have monkeys.
What's the difference between monkeys and fleas? You may directly think that they are a big one and a small one. But besides, monkeys can have fleas, but fleas can't have monkeys. Is this an interesting answer?
Q: How can you irritate a farmer best?
Step on his corn?
If you step on a farmer's corn or grain, he will definitely get angry; And if you step on the corns of farmers' feet, they will be more angry. Corn can refer to both "corn/grain" and "corn".
Q: What is the strongest creature in the world?
A: Snails. It carries the house on its back.
Because snails always carry a house on their backs, it is not surprising that snails are the strongest creatures in the world. What did you say?/Sorry?
Q: What do people do in watch factories?
They make faces all day.
When you see this sentence, don't think that people who work in a watch factory make faces all day! Because in addition to this meaning, it can be literally understood as making a clock face.
Q: How to stop sleepwalkers from walking in their sleep?
Keep him awake.
How can we stop sleepwalkers from walking in their sleep? The easiest way is not to let him sleep. Although this is not a treatment, if the sleepwalker is awake, he will not sleepwalk.
English jokes (2)
He is really a big shot.
-My uncle has 1000 people.
-He's really something. What does he do?
-The maintenance man in the cemetery.
He is really a big shot.
There are 1000 people under my uncle.
-He's really a big shot. What do you do?
Graveyard keeper.
English jokes (3)
Shortly after an old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States, she went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk carefully checked every bill to see if it was true. This made the old lady impatient.
Finally, she couldn't hold on any longer and said. "Believe me, Sir, believe in money. They are real dollars. They are directly from the United States. "
They were brought directly from America.
An old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States and went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every banknote to see if it was fake.
This made the old woman very impatient. Finally, she couldn't help saying, "Trust me, sir, and please trust these bills, too. These are real dollars, and they are brought directly from the United States. "
English joke (4) My puppy can't read.
Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!
Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspaper!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.
My dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh,
Honey, I lost my precious puppy!
Mrs Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My puppy can't read. "
English jokes (5) bring me winners
Waiter, this lobster has only one paw.
-I'm sorry, sir. It must be fighting.
-Well, then bring me the winner.
Give me the winner.
Waiter,
This lobster has only one claw.
Sorry, sir, but this one must have been in a fight.
Oh, then give me the winner.
English joke (6) The party of mean men.
The notorious cheapskate finally decided to invite a guest. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Go up to 5 meters and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, push it with your foot. "
"Why use my elbows and feet?"
"Oh, dear," he replied, "you won't come empty-handed, will you?"
The miser's treat.
A notorious miser finally decided to invite a guest. Explaining to a friend how to find his home, he said, "You go up to the fifth floor, find the middle door, and then ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door opens, push it open with your feet. "
"Why use my elbows and feet?"
"Your hand has been taken as a gift. God, you won't come empty-handed, will you? " The miser replied.
Respondents: Cool heroine | Level 1 | 2010-10-2417: 05 | Report.
Men go to church and start talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "in one second" a man walked into the church and talked to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."
Respondents: enthusiastic users | 2010-10-2419: 28 | report.
It is said that a little boy rushed to the police station and said to the police: no, no, my father had a fight with his neighbor! Go now! Or someone will die! The policeman asked: When did it start? Almost half an hour. "Then why didn't you report earlier?" Dad always got the upper hand just now, and now I think he's going to suffer!
Then a little boy ran to the police and hurriedly said to the police, "Okay, okay, my dad and his neighbors are fighting!" " Let's go This medicine won't! The policeman asked: When will it start? "It's almost half an hour." What did you report? "Don't start with' who is my father, but now he will suffer as soon as I appear'!
Respondent: CY1997 Yuan | Level 4 | 2010-10-24 20: 20 | Report.
I didn't fall asleep
When a group of women got on the bus, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed that a man seemed to be asleep and worried that he would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" "
"I didn't fall asleep," the man replied.
"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed. "
"I know. I just hate to see ladies standing next to me in crowded cars. "
I didn't fall asleep
When a group of women got on the bus, all the seats on the bus were taken. The conductor noticed that a person seemed to be asleep. He was worried that the man would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" " "
"I didn't fall asleep." The man replied.
"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed? "
"I know, I just don't want to see a lady standing next to me in a crowded car."
- Previous article:Then wish us endless jokes and romance.
- Next article:My composition in heaven is 400 words!
- Related articles
- Seek the connotation joke about the tortoise.
- How to get started with indie game development?
- What does Wang Chai's expression mean?
- Europeans know that America is cynical and shameless. Why should they follow the example of America?
- What does it mean to stay awake at night?
- How much influence does a single-parent family have on children after divorce? You don't know.
- The words of Cowherd, Weaver Girl and Old Cow
- Does Wuyi Mountain belong to Fujian or Jiangxi?
- Why does Wallace Huo never pay for the hotel?
- What kind of compound word is joke?