What jokes make you laugh when you think about it?

1, buddy: You know what? Lily, the goddess I have been pursuing, sent me warmth yesterday! Me: Congratulations! Where did it come from? Dude: Yesterday afternoon, the leader informed us to go to the conference room for a meeting. Lily went late. She farted warmly when she passed me!

2. After doing housework, my wife is lying in bed: after doing rough work, do some fine work. Husband: Fine work? Still have to work? Wife: Yes. Go to sleep quickly. Husband: Nima, why is this called rough work? Wife: That thing of yours is like an embroidery needle. This is not a delicate job. What is this?

Rich people say poverty is not terrible, thin people say fat is not terrible, good-looking people say ugliness is not terrible, what is terrible is that you believe what they say.

I always feel that I forgot something before going to the toilet. I played on the toilet for 40 minutes before my mobile phone found out. . . Forgot to shit. It's been empty for 40 minutes!

Today, I sent a message to the person I like, saying: I miss you! ! ! She replied to me that it was 300. . .

I live with my girlfriend. A few days ago, I found a cigarette butt under the bed. I didn't say anything. Later, she said that it was the master who repaired the electricity before. Today, my household appliances are broken again. The master came to work, and I gave it to a tobacco master. He said that he didn't smoke, and he never would. . . What happened? Do you think my cigarettes are too bad?

I told a few jokes just to amuse you. Do you have any funny jokes? Welcome to post in the comment area!

1, I always close my eyes when I cut onions, thinking I won't cry, but I still cried when I cut my hand.

2. A friend charged the phone bill, misstated the last digit of the phone and paid the phone bill of 100 for others. He felt a little distressed and called: Can you charge it back? 80.50 yuan will do. The buddy on the other end of the phone said gloomily, "Brother, I don't know how to say anything about you. At the end of the year, it's all bills. I finally stopped my mobile phone and you recharged it for me. "

I walked into the alley and heard someone calling me upstairs: "Your Majesty ... Your Majesty!" I looked up and said, "Who is calling me! ? "Then I was splashed with water. The woman who splashed water upstairs said, "I told you to avoid it. You deserve it! " "

The unit organized a physical examination, and the nurse said that the leader's heart rate had been abnormal and asked the chief physician to re-examine. After the re-examination, the director kindly said to the nurse: buttoning the chest can improve work efficiency in the future.

Master, what should I do if my colleagues always make me angry? ""Take a deep breath before you want to quarrel. " "Is to calm yourself down? ""Look at me, "the master took a deep breath." Your growth lacks calcium and love. Grandma won't hurt your uncle. You don't love your left face. You don't like your right face. You don't like kicking donkeys. You see the donkey kicking the pig. You saw the pig stepping on the little bitch. Then let me believe it or not. You let you go home, and your parents don't know you. Oh, I'm lying in the trough. I can't end the conversation without taking a deep breath. "

In front of Tomb-Sweeping Day, the school organized a grave-sweeping activity for martyrs, telling students to wear school uniforms. When the teacher saw a student, his eyes almost popped out. Do you know why? The student went in mourning.

A male colleague is very short. Someone once said politely, "What is concentrated is the essence." As a result, he heard wrong and said, "Yes! What comes from the countryside is the essence! I am from the countryside! " At that time, we laughed so freely that now someone in the unit asks him, "Is the essence from that countryside there?" Ha ha laugh

1. Wukong and his party met the Flame Mountain, because they needed to borrow a banana fan to have a conflict in Niuwangmo. Bajie struggled with the shooter cow, but Bajie couldn't stand the beating of the cow and fled everywhere. Niu Wangmo shouted proudly while chasing: "Dead pig, do you think I am awesome?" Eight quit one leng, turn head to say "don't look ..."

Wukong came to help, and Niu Wangmo showed his true colors. Then Wukong proudly said, "Niu Ge, do you think I'm dead?" Niu Wang pondered and didn't answer "No".

The curtain fell and there was silence all around. Wukong has been trapped under the mountain for many years and has never been visited. Looking at the darkness around him, Wukong felt sad from the heart, looked up at the sky and sang loudly his loneliness that had been suppressed for hundreds of years. "The dead of night is a homesick stone monkey."

Ha ha ha, any joke is like cross talk. You may not laugh after listening to it a few times. Everyone has different aesthetic tastes. There is no joke that everyone likes. What should I do? I'll give you a few words. It's invalid. Get back.

1 blowout love will inevitably lead to a diving ending.

It's normal to eat the metal wire for washing the pot for breakfast, which just shows that our logistics comes in strict accordance with the order of washing the pot first and then cooking …

It is often said that heroes are sad about beauty, but heroes don't think so. Will you leave beauty to mediocrity? Beauty doesn't think so either. Shouldn't a beautiful woman deserve a hero?

Life is like a dance, but the person who teaches you the first dance step may not accompany you to the end!

A child said, "This is my toy." This is property law. A child said, "You promised me." This is the contract law. A child said, "He hit me first." This is the criminal law. A child said, "Dad said yes." This is the constitution.

I have passed a person countless times, and my clothes were all scratched without any spark.

Love is an animal, and love is a plant. If you refuse love, animals will leave, of course, because plants will not give birth to feet to escape. Of course, plants are ruthless.

Marriage is a school, wife is a teacher, major is nagging, husband is a student, and homework is deaf.

The poor monk came to the Tang Dynasty in the east and made a special trip to the Western Heaven to worship Buddha and find relatives.

10 Mausoleum has one advantage: the longer you die, the more people want to visit it.

Good jokes can keep pace with the times, and good sentences must be interesting.

One day, I was squatting in the toilet. Idle and bored, I found that the charging port of my mobile phone was a little gray, so I blew it with my mouth. Just after blowing, a person next to him said faintly, dude, this shit burns my mouth. . . . . . .

Two dung beetles discuss the welfare lottery. A said, "If I win the grand prize, I will buy all the toilets in Fiona Fang for 50 miles and eat enough every day!" B said, "You are so vulgar! If I win the grand prize, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day! "

Dung beetles and Mozzie are going on a blind date. On the day of meeting, dung beetles asked, "What is your occupation?" Mosquito said, "Nurse, give me an injection." What about you? "Dung beetle smiled and said," companion, I got the pills. "

A hen flew to the roof, and the owner said angrily, "Come down quickly, or I will kill all the cocks and make your life hell!" " After listening to this, the hen screamed at the sky, "Great, we finally found the duck." "