Ten jokes, wish you all a happy time

1. A couple was eating in a luxury restaurant. After the food was served, the husband said: "It looks delicious, eat it quickly!"

Wife: "Dear , don’t you always pray before eating at home?”

Husband: “Because it’s at home, and the chef here knows how to cook.”

2. Go shopping with your husband. , saw a particularly beautiful necklace, and clamored to look at it with him. "Okay, just take a look."

"But I want to see it every day~"

"There's really nothing I can do about you." Click, click, he took a few photos : "Let's go home and choose one to use as your mobile phone desktop."

3. I saw my girlfriend's message: It will happen sooner or later, should I make a decision now?

I replied lovingly: My dear, just do it if you think it’s right, come on!

Ten minutes later, I received a text message from her: Let’s break up!

4. My best friend farted several times in a row. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I pinched my nose and asked, “What on earth did you eat that made it smell so bad?”

She tilted her head with disdain. He glanced at me and said, "You have to be kind. What's the matter? You just smelled it and you still want the formula?"

5. The explanation of "not confused" in "Forty but not confused" is not that one person has it. The meaning of doubt is that you don't understand something and don't want to rack your brains to figure it out anymore, so it is called "not confused". Looking back now, I was actually no longer confused when I was in school more than ten years ago. . .

6. I chatted with a girl at ten o'clock in the evening. She said: I'm going to bed, good night. But I just saw that she was still posting on Weibo. I was really worried whether her phone had been stolen by someone else.

7. One time my husband had reserved a room to wait for me. I went outside the door and wanted to tease him, so I whispered outside the door: 306, the lady you called is here, open the door!

Unexpectedly, the door next door opened, and a man came out and said to me: Come to my side when you are done!

08. I have always had a crush on her when I was studying, but I didn’t have the courage to confess, let alone touch her. After graduation, she got married, and her husband and I were classmates. That afternoon, she was nursing the baby, and I made a good excuse. I walked up to her, pressed her breasts with both hands, and then told her baby, call her uncle, if you don’t shout, you won’t be fed!

9. When I went to the bathroom in the mall today, I saw I saw a young man standing next to the women's toilet, looking embarrassed.

A naughty voice came from the women's restroom: "If you don't buy it for me, I won't go out."

Uncle, you have a good daughter!

10. Before raising a cat, my mother said: You can’t raise a cat, cats are full of bacteria!

After raising a cat, my mother said: Don’t hold Xiaohua, you are covered with bacteria!

Before raising a dog, my dad said: If you dare to raise a dog, I will throw it away!

After raising a dog, my dad asked: Do you have to go home during the holidays? If you go to bed so late, you will disturb Erha!