Thousands of jokes

Thousands of jokes set one:

1, Da Li bought a parrot. As soon as he entered the house, he couldn't wait to make the bird talk.

? Yours, talk? Da Li stretched out her neck to tease. The parrot didn't respond.

? Yours, talking, and missing. ? Da Li picked up a bug to seduce him. The parrot still doesn't respond.

? Yours, don't talk, die, die! ? Da Li threatened with a sullen face.

Suddenly, the parrot straightened its neck and shouted: Down with Japanese imperialism! ?

2. I have money, but you don't. You should respect me.

Your money is yours. Why should I respect you?

I'll give you a quarter of my money. Can you respect me?

You just gave me a quarter. Why should I respect you?

What if I give you half?

In that case, my money is as much as yours. Why should I respect you?

I will give you all my money. Can you respect me?

What words! I had money then, but you didn't. How can I respect you?

3. Send text messages to report to the leaders: party member 14 students, including 8 boys.

The leader replied: Are there no girls?

I have watched many football matches! I know everything about football. Really? Then tell me, how many holes are there in the football net?

Women and men are like boards and nails: a board is not a good board if it is nailed with holes, but no one will care how many boards the nail is nailed to.

6. A Japanese tour group traveled to China and stayed in a five-star hotel in Hangzhou. Register to add? s ex？ In the first column, some people write yes and some people write no?

7. The administrator is talking to a beautiful girl. ? Sorry, swimming is forbidden here, so why didn't you tell me before I undressed? We don't prohibit undressing. ?

8. There is good news from the delivery room. He is very happy to have a fat grandson. Grandpa rushed into the delivery room happily, looked at his newborn grandson and asked him with a smile: Grandson, do you still know Grandpa?

9. The legal age of marriage is 22 for men and 17 for soldiers, which shows that women are more difficult to deal with than the enemy.

Thousands of jokes 2:

Yesterday at the wine bureau, Xiao Liu didn't drink enough and asked not to drink. Finally, he said he might as well tell you a cold joke. Everyone will say. ? It is said to be blue sea, blue sky and silver beach. An ant passed by the beach, but the trace it left was a line. Why?

Everyone has different opinions. Some say that this ant has only one leg, while others say that this ant is male and has deep skill. Are denied by Xiao Liu one by one. Xiao Liu said: This ant rides a bike. Everyone froze at once!

Then Xiao Liu added: Blue sea and blue sky, silver beach, rabbit ran home after playing on the beach, thirsty, ready to rush to the refrigerator and take out a can of carrot juice to drink, but before he opened the refrigerator door, he knew there were ants in it and was very angry. Why? What everyone doesn't know is that an uncle said it must be Siemens' refrigerator, and the door is transparent. Be spoiled by everyone.

Xiao Liu said: the ant's bike is parked at the door of the refrigerator! Everyone is frozen again! At this time, the atmosphere was chaotic, and everyone stopped drinking and shouted cold jokes.

Finally, there is no way out, and there is a new rule: whoever says not to laugh, just drink it himself. This idea was put forward by Lao Yang, who is usually unsmiling. Think about it, you may end up drinking too much.

Then everyone tells jokes if they don't want to drink. Among them, Xiao Liu is the funniest. He told jokes with both hands and feet, and everyone laughed so hard that their stomachs ached. Then Lao Yang said, I'll tell you one. I need a person to cooperate. Xiao Liu, just you.

Then everyone was quiet. At this time, Lao Yang had drunk almost. Lao Yang said, Xiao Liu, can you say it ten times as fast as you can? Cat? .

Xiao Liu wondered: Cat, cat, cat just said enough for ten. Lao Yang quickly asked: What do rats fear most? !

Xiao Liu said: cat ~

At this time, Lao Yang laughed like the arrogance of evil characters in costume martial arts dramas after absorbing the skills of others for 500 years: mice are most afraid of cats? !

Everyone was shocked. Later, Lao Yang sat on the stool angrily and said, Oh, I said it backwards. My daughter made me say the mouse ten times.

Boom, the whole table collapsed with laughter.

Liu was foaming at the mouth and said, Lao Yang, I'm going to take you away for the rest of my life. This is the coldest joke I have ever heard. I'll punish myself for a few drinks. Just say it!

;