English jokes every day (short)

have much/many

One day, a tourist from the city came to a small village and drove on the country road to see what the farm looked like and how farmers made a living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig in his hand, holding it high so that the pig could eat the apples on the apple tree. The city man said to the farmer, "I think your pig likes apples, but isn't that a waste of time?" The farmer replied, "What is time to a pig?"

One day, a tourist from the city came to a small village. He drove along the road in the country to see what the farm was like and how farmers made a living by farming. City people saw a farmer on the grass behind his house, holding a pig in his hand and holding it high so that it could eat apples from the tree. The city man said to the farmer, "I think your pig likes apples, but isn't it a waste of time?" The farmer replied, "What does time mean to pigs?"

A girl went to the priest and confessed her sins.

Girl: Father, I am guilty.

Missionary: What did you do, little girl?

Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a bitch.

Missionary: Why? What did he do to you?

Girl: He touched my chest.

Preacher: You mean like this? (That guy did it. )

Girl: (a little shy to touch) Yes.

Priest: There is no reason to call him that.

Girl: But he also took off my clothes.

Preacher: You mean like this? He did it again. )

Girl: Yes, that's what he did.

Priest: That's still no reason to call him that.

Girl: He put his "What Do You Know" in my "What Do You Know" ...

Preacher: (evil laughter) ...) You mean like this? (Do you know)

Girl: (a few minutes later ...) Alas ... Yes, that's what he did. ...

Priest: My dear girl, there is still no reason to call him A. ...

Girl: But he has AIDS! !

Preacher: That son of a bitch! ! !

Where's father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful pictures.

"Look," said my brother. "How beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where is the father? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing."

Where's father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful oil paintings.

"Look," said my brother, "how beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where did dad go? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing these pictures."

Poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is to get along with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question and then answered it herself. Then she explained to me why my answer was wrong for half an hour.

Poor husband

"You have no idea how difficult it is to deal with my wife," a man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question, then answered it herself, and then spent half an hour explaining to me why my answer was wrong."

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

The little boy doesn't like the appearance of barking dogs.

"Never mind," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: barking dogs don't bite? "

"Ah, yes," the little boy replied. "I know this proverb, but does the dog also know this proverb?"

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

A little boy dislikes the way dogs bark very much.

"Never mind," said a gentleman. "Don't be afraid. Do you know the proverb: "Barking dogs don't bite." "

"Oh, I know, but does the dog know?"