The joke of the ship

1. One day, a kid, who knew a few Chinese characters by himself, was wandering in the street. He was hungry and started looking for a restaurant.

It arrived at the door of a small noodle restaurant and saw several big characters written on the water sign at the door: beef noodles, large rows of noodles, simple meals.

He wanted to taste it, so he went in. The busy waiter ran over and asked, "What noodles would you like to eat, sir?"

"I will eat ..." As he spoke, the little devil wanted to show off his recognition of Chinese characters, so he turned his head to look at the words written vertically on the water label and read horizontally: "I eat a bowl of' cow',' big' and' poop' ..." The voice of wanting to eat "shit" was quite loud, word for word.

All the diners in the restaurant looked at the little devil in amazement and whispered, "This beast is really fierce!" " "

2. Once the teacher was on the boat, the ferryman chatted with him about his age and asked him what constellation he was. The teacher replied that he was a dog, asked the month and said the first month. The ferryman then said with emotion, "I'm a dog too, but it's December." Teacher Wang is the head of a dog, so he is called (taught) for life. I am a dog's tail, so I shake it all my life. "

3. Once upon a time, a man went to see a fortune teller. The fortune teller touched his hand and said, "Men's hands are like cotton, with money all around them, while women's hands are like ginger, and their belongings are piled up in boxes."

The man was overjoyed and said, "Great, my wife's hands are like ginger!" "

The fortune teller asked, "How do I see your wife's hands like ginger?"

She hit her mouth yesterday, and it's still burning!

An old mother-in-law died, and he went to the village to ask Mr. Private School to write a eulogy for him. ?

Mr. Xue found out his notebook, turned to an article commemorating his father-in-law, copied it word for word and handed it to the man. ?

The man took it for a long time, then turned back and said that he had let others see it, and the eulogy was wrong. Hearing this, Mr. Xue said angrily, "Some people say I made a mistake. Show him my notebook. I didn't even copy a word wrong. Otherwise, it is the wrong person in your family! "

On the day of Tomb-Sweeping Day, a man found a thick wallet on the road.

I am ecstatic. Open it and it's all paper money!

"How to find such good luck in life?" Tian Yang said.

So I grabbed my wallet and killed it by the roadside!

Honey, the clothes you gave me are too small. I hate it. Every time I give it to someone else, the clothes are too small. Can't you change to a better paper binding shop?

7. Friends and lovers: I'll live below and talk to you later. Don't worry, I won't move this time!

8. Anonymous rode his bicycle through the tunnel in the middle of the night, and his bicycle fell off the chain, so he had to wave for help at the roadside. When all the cars in the slow lane saw her, they quickly flashed to the fast lane.

I was depressed when a car passed by and actually backed up. A burst of joy in my heart, I want to move forward. Only to see the window rolled down and a pile of paper money spilled head on. ...

9. The face complained to the prince: "The head is the leader of people, and the face is like the head. But people in the world have colorful clothes on their bodies and limbs, only I don't. Why? "

The prince was puzzled and asked the judge, "Is there a law here?" ?

The judge told him: "there is no law, just because it stole a thick skin and covered it on the surface when it was reborn, so it doesn't need to wear clothes." Over time, people in the world gradually forgot to give it something to cover up their shame. "

10, a couple always quarreled at ordinary times. Once they quarreled again, the husband killed his wife in a rage and buried her body in the backyard.

A few days later, the man felt very strange. Why don't children ask themselves at all when they haven't seen their mother these days?

So one day he asked the child, "Hehe, mom is not at home these days. Why don't you worry? " ?

The child replied: "I feel so strange. Why have you been carrying your mother behind your back these days? "