Happy event of campus jokes

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. The following are the happy moments of the campus jokes I helped you organize. Welcome to read the collection.

Campus joke happy event 1 1, instructor: "What if a classmate fainted in military training?"

Student: "Give him a slap first to see if he is faking it."

Instructor: "Female!"

Student: "Artificial respiration!"

My roommate is a B-2 youth.

One day I was playing a song, and my roommate asked whose song it was. I said it was from Leslie Cheung, and my roommate said, "Does Leslie Cheung have any new songs?"

Xiao Ming plays mobile phone in class. After seeing it outside the window, the class teacher sent him a text message saying: How do you play with your mobile phone in class?

Xiao Minghui: Who are you?

The class teacher added: Look out of the window!

Xiao Ming looked out of the window and replied, thank you for reminding me. I'll talk to you later. The head teacher is watching at the window!

I woke up and watched her sleep beside me.

Sweet happiness came to me, and I couldn't help kissing her secretly.

She opened her misty eyes, eyes met, and a roaring slap rang through the classroom!

5. In the exam, my deskmate kept looking at his watch without writing questions. I asked him, "What are you doing?"

"Look at the time"

"Why?"

"Because ... time will give me the answer."

Campus joke: happy event II. Are all these students idiots?

Buy fruit at the school gate. The business of a booth is very hot, so I'll go and have a look.

When I walked in, I heard what was shouting over there: oranges are on sale, one yuan and two Jin.

Two dollars and three pounds, three dollars and four pounds ... five dollars and six pounds, come and buy it.

A group of college students are buying five yuan and six Jin.

Second, the highest level of knowing people by smelling incense.

In high school, my deskmate loved to put P. Once, a stench floated by, "Did you put poison gas again?"

The beauty at the front table turned around and said, that's not his taste. It's not the smell ... Theo. ......

Don't tell anyone after class.

In the fifth grade of primary school, we were learning to land two iron balls at the same time. Soon the teacher talked about Newton, and the teacher casually said, Newton's brother.

Then we thought about it for a long time and said we knew.

The teacher said: Don't tell anyone after class.

What the teacher said, Yang Kai of our class replied: Great!

We laughed for a class.

test paper

After the final exam, the papers were handed out. Student A: I'm miserable. I made many mistakes in this exam. The teacher made a lot of crosses, so the test paper was dirty. Student B: Mine is clean. The teacher only put a small tick next to a small question on my test paper. Student a:

Learn from experience

A senior majoring in philosophy summed up his four-year college life like this: I didn't know I didn't know when I was a freshman, I knew I didn't know when I was a sophomore, I didn't know I knew when I was a junior, and I knew I knew when I was a senior.

What Gorges are there in the Three Gorges?

One day, the teacher asked, "Xiaoming, what Gorges are there in the Three Gorges?"

Xiaoming: "Spider-Man, Batman, GG Bond".

At this time, the whole class was confused.

Are spoony species.

A student dozed off in class, and then the teacher who was found woke up to answer the question: "What folk stories are there in China?"

The classmate replied dismally, "Legend of White Snake, Legend of Dayu, Liang Shanbo and Juliet ..."

The teacher asked, "What is the relationship between Liang Shanbo and Juliet?"

The students suddenly realized and calmly replied: "They are all spoony species!"

Delicious but dumplings

In high school, after the lights went out in the dormitory at night,

Classmate a didn't have moral integrity, and suddenly said:

"Delicious but jiaozi, fun but sister-in-law"

Then, a word came from the corner, "Well, brother ..."

Then, no then.

Verb and conjunction

Yin Yin: "Teacher, what is the word kiss?"

Teacher: "It's a verb."

Yin Yin: "No, this is a conjunction."

Teacher: "Why?"

Yin Yin: "Because two mouths should be connected!" "

Teacher's composition evaluation

The teacher assigns homework and records the good deeds he does every day.

That day, I read in my son's diary: "I found a big gold ingot yesterday, weighing 20 Jin." I gave it to the police uncle. "

The following teacher's comment on writing is as follows: Please write clearly that it was found in a dream, so that people can read it more realistically.

Clean your plate and exercise.

"Operation CD" is to eat all the plates in the school cafeteria, and no leftovers are allowed!

The head teacher said, "You throw away the food. Have you ever thought how sorry you are for the hard-working farmer uncle?"

A classmate stood up and said, "The aunt who cooks in the canteen is also very sorry for the rice cooked by the farmer's uncle.

Fresh vegetables can be made into such horrible dishes, how can they not be left!

I think that pig even fried pork is a wrongful death! "

rain

There is a naughty classmate in the class, the younger one, sitting in the first row.

One day, the Chinese teacher was lecturing. He took a straw hat and put it on his head.

The teacher was surprised and asked him what was wrong.

He replied, "Teacher, I can't listen to your lecture. Because when you talk, I feel it's raining ... "

Before he finished, the students laughed into a pot of porridge.

Just caught some demons.

After an exam, I came out and met the invigilator in the next classroom, humming happily. As I approached, I heard singing, "I just caught a few demons. Hey, I stopped a few demons. Why are there so many demons?" I seem to understand something at once. ...

bedclothes

Fill in the family table in primary school. I am a self-employed person, selling bedding (quilts, pillows and so on).

As a result, I foolishly put "bedding" in the "occupation" column of Ma Ma. ......

Going home is a painful thing. ......

What class?

After class, the teacher said, what else do you not understand?

A classmate stretched himself and said, what class does the teacher have this time?

When many students dozed off in the pathology class, the professor lost his temper: "For the real time of death, the medical community has been arguing whether the brain dies when it stops moving or the heart stops beating." But if it is the former, I have to announce:' Most students in this class are dead.' "

What does the school joke book call him?

Teacher: What should we call someone when he continues to talk when he is no longer interested?

Student: Teacher.

School jokes are hilarious, and we have to recite one more question and answer.

Teacher: What does human beings outside the Arctic mean to us?

Health: We have a question and answer to recite.

What would you do if you joked in primary school?

Teacher: What would you do if there was an old lady standing next to you and you were sitting on the bus?

Health: I told her, old lady, you are so old, don't always take the bus to save money. It is safer to take a taxi.

Laughing at campus jokes is good for people.

Teacher: How to explain the idiom "treat people with things"?

Health: Just stay at home and wait to receive other people's gifts.

Laugh at school jokes, and you will be punished if you don't sleep.

After lights out,

The boys' dormitory collectively shouted "Hoo! Call! " ,

As a result, I really called five minutes later;

Then,

Boys' dormitory collective shouting

"Lights out later! Turn off the lights later! "

Then 1 1: 50 really turn off the lights;

Finally, the boys' dormitory collectively shouted "Woman! Woman! ……"

A woman's voice came from downstairs: "So-and-so dormitory, I will punish you if you don't sleep."

Which canteen tastes worse?

There are four canteens in the school, but no matter what method you use, you really can't tell which canteen cooks the worse food. .

Why aren't you dead?

One day in computer class, a row of classmates' computers crashed!

So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed, and our platoon was all dead."

At this time, many students said, "We are dead, too."

Then the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?"

Only one classmate stood up and said, "I'm not dead yet!" " "

The teacher said strangely, "The whole class is dead. Why aren't you dead? "

A short campus joke: Every day is like a year.

The teacher asked, "If you had only one day to live, where would you like to go most?"

The student replied, "I will leave my last day in this school and this classroom."

Teacher: "How touching! There are still such studious students. "

Student: "Because I feel' every day is like a year' in the classroom!

Primary school campus jokes have a sense of belonging.

Xiaoming wrote in an essay entitled "Visiting the Zoo": The zoo is called a zoo because it is full of animals. Animals are kept in pens, and only a few people often stop in front of them. There are always more people watching in front of the orangutan area, because people have a sense of belonging there …

Humorous campus jokes are the most hilarious animals close to human beings.

After finishing Darwin's theory of evolution, the biology teacher asked the students a question: "What is the closest animal to human beings?"

A student who just woke up scrambled to answer loudly: "lice."

Middle school students must know campus jokes.

In chemistry class, the teacher took out a gold market, pointed to the solution in the glassware and asked the students, "I have talked about the nature of this solution just now." Now, I throw this gold coin in. Do you think it will melt? " Son, look at me, I look at you, and no one can answer.

Suddenly, Holt, sitting in the first row, stood up and said loudly, "Of course not."

"You answered very well." The teacher touched little Holt's head and said approvingly, "You must have understood today's class."

"I don't understand either, teacher." Little Holt looked down and said.

"Then how do you know that gold coins will not be melted?" The teacher asked in surprise.

"If this solution can dissolve gold coins, how do you put it in?"

Campus jokes are all for nothing.

Math teacher: "... now, we can draw the conclusion that X is equal to zero."

Student: "Oh, it's been a long time, and it's all in vain."

The fourth element of jokes on campus.

The teacher asked the students, "Who can tell what the four elements of nature are?"

Student: "The first is fire, the second is air, the third is earth, and the fourth is ..."

"What is the fourth? Don't worry, think about it. What do you usually use when you wash your hands? "

Inspired by the teacher, the students readily replied, "The fourth element is soap."

Classification of human muscles.

The teacher asked a question: There are three kinds of human muscles. Which three are they? A gentleman was sleeping and the teacher called him on purpose. He stood up in a panic, looked at the teacher, bowed his head and asked his classmates, who said that it seemed to ask how many kinds of meat there were. Students quickly replied: "Fat, lean, streaky!" "

There is a boy who especially likes to study other people's teeth.

In class this day, the girls Xiaoying and Yaner happened to sit next to the boys. After carefully looking at their teeth, he said solemnly, "Xiaoying's teeth belong to Beijing Garden, and Yaner's teeth belong to Suzhou Garden."

"What do you mean?" The two girls asked in unison.

"Beijing gardens pay attention to neatness and symmetry, while Suzhou gardens pay attention to height."

Campus joke happy event 5 1. When the bell rang, the teacher said angrily, "Why do you go to the canteen like hungry ghosts after class?" I am late. There is no food in the canteen? Nobody is allowed to run today. "

The students looked at the teacher and shouted, "teacher, please run slowly." You haven't called to stand up after class! " "

When I failed in the exam, I apologized to the teacher (female): "I'm sorry, I was wrong."

The teacher snorted: "What's wrong with you? You are absolutely right. How can you be wrong! "

3. A boy is in a daze in class. The teacher asked, "What are you thinking? Don't concentrate on listening in class. "

The boy replied, "I miss you."

The teacher stayed for a while and replied shyly, "You are good or bad!" "

4. Remember that there is chemistry class in junior high school. No matter what the teacher does, the class is still noisy. At this time, I heard the chemistry teacher holding a test tube and shouting, "Don't be quiet, believe it or not, I'll kill you all!" "

The class was quiet for a while, and then no one dared to make trouble in chemistry class.

5, hospital intern, just bought some cold medicine, no money. I'm going to borrow 30 yuan from my teacher, so I asked her, Teacher, do you have 30 yuan?

As a result, she said, "Guess?"

Suddenly I was speechless … I saw her smile and say, "I'm 32 this year …"

The exam is coming, and the invigilator's professor is notoriously strict. When I met him, I basically lost the possibility of cheating.

In our endless complaints, the head nurse calmly copied the note and asked, "Aren't you afraid of being caught?"

The head nurse replied faintly: "In fact, cheat sheets are the same as banknotes.

It's one thing to use it or not. It is practical to have a heart in your pocket. " ......

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