What are the classic humorous jokes in 20 19?

Classic humorous jokes are always especially popular with friends. Here I bring you 20 19 classic humorous jokes. I hope you will like them.

20 19 classic humorous jokes

1, "Injury": A hungry wolf feeds on a farmer and listens to a woman in the house telling her children: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf! The child cried all night, and the wolf waited until dawn with tears in his eyes: liar! Women are liars!

2, "Don't think bad" Late at night, my daughter cried and called her mother: Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! Mother comforted softly: silly child! I won't! Don't always think the worst of the future. Maybe there was an accident? !

3. My son got 50 points. My mother was very angry and gave a good beating, sharply reprimanding: Don't call me mom next time! The next day, my son came back and said shyly to his mother, I'm sorry, big sister! I failed in the exam again.

4. "Good hanging": Lao Zhang came home early from work and found his wife and secretary having an affair. He was so scared that he ran back to the unit and sighed: Good hanging, almost left early when the leader found out!

5, "Wife" Lao Zhang has an ugly girl who has never been married and hopes to be trafficked. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus, and the kidnapper gritted his teeth and said, Go! No car!

6. A migrant worker works in Beijing and can't buy a train ticket home. He was so anxious that he had a brainwave and asked for 20 yuan to make one? I want to petition? Banner! Before leaving the railway station, he was knocked down by two plainclothes and sent back to his hometown. After calculation, I saved the train ticket to 280 yuan, the bus ticket to 60 yuan, the tricycle ticket 10 yuan, and the meal money on the way to 30 yuan. I made a net profit in 380 yuan this time, and I delivered it to my door by car. The village head and the township head greeted him and talked with him. Later, the township head allocated 2000 yuan to help the poor, and the village head gave 1000 yuan to solatium. This is called a change in thinking and a change in the market. It's not that the market is depressed, but that you don't work hard.

Selected hilarious jokes, super funny jokes.

1, the newsboy shouted newspaper in the square:? Amazing fraud case, the number of deceived people has reached 82. A man hurried over and bought a newspaper, but he didn't seem to find it? Big case? News. At this time, the newsboy shouted again: selling newspapers, selling newspapers, amazing fraud cases, and the number of deceived people has reached 83! ?

2. Child: Why do the hands in the clock go their separate ways? Father: Because they don't have a good relationship. Child: 12 Why are you together again? Father: You are so stupid. They are going to have dinner together on 12!

3. Go to the section chief's house to drink alone. After thirty years old, he saw the section chief's sister-in-law was beautiful and said:? Boss, if you touch her breasts, I'll drink to it. ? Sister-in-law retaliated mercilessly:? Brother-in-law, hold on! Drink him to death! ?

Before the exam, Xiao prepared a fried dough stick and two eggs for breakfast, which means 100. Who knows that the first egg is a double yellow egg, he decided not to eat the second one after careful consideration. As soon as the results were announced, Xiao shouted, How accurate! ? Everyone took a look: 18 points?

It is said that my brother and his girlfriend went to Guiyuan Temple on holiday, and there were many people on National Day. Many people worship in front of Buddha statues. Suddenly, I saw that a little girl might be learning from the people around her, and suddenly I was kneeling there. That's called investment. Then he was pulled up by his father's father: it's a little early for you to worship this. Is this a farewell to Guanyin?

6. After quarreling with his wife, she silently went to boil water. After a while, I felt very thirsty. I want to ask her if the water is boiling. Haven't you left yet? ! ? Hearing this, my wife ran away from home in a rage.

7. Wife: Honey, you are always talking in your sleep recently. Do you want to go to the hospital for a checkup? Husband: That's not necessary. If it is cured, my last right to speak will also be deprived.

8. ah q:? Do you have a brief history of time? B a:？ Psycho, I have time not to pick up shit! ?

9. My son was sleeping when he suddenly touched my chest and suddenly said, little bitch, I'm back. Instantly petrified, three black lines hung from the top of the head to the foot. Tell my husband quietly: don't watch those messy TVs. My husband said with laughter, what? That's the line of Big Big Wolf in Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf: Lambs, I'm back.

10, an air force exercise parachuted, and a recruit dared not jump. He asked the instructor: what if the umbrella can't be opened when jumping? The instructor said, if you can't open it, I'll change it for you! ?

10 classic joke. Will you be happy after cutting them? Summer? !

1. I heard a mother teaching her son to recite poems on the bus. It is noon when weeding, and mother is the hardest; Play mahjong in the afternoon and fight the landlord at night. ?

2, a batch of primary school Chinese test papers, required? what's up what's up And make sentences. A classmate wrote this: Yesterday I went to my grandma's house and grandma brought me a drumstick. After eating, I asked my grandmother if there were any more, and my grandmother replied: Yes, yes, and! ?

3. Chatting with my son one day.

Me: Son, did you know that you cried badly when you were born? Your father and I are arguing to death.

My son gave me a white look: well, the first time I saw you, I knew I had the wrong baby. Can I not cry sadly?

Me:?

4. Notice from the Meteorological Bureau: The rainstorm that was supposed to come early this morning was delayed for a little time due to lack of funds, and may arrive this afternoon and evening. If it rains heavily, it will definitely be heavy. If it is small, it will definitely not be heavy. Please wait patiently! When it rains, the weather station will report the details to the public.

Warm reminder from the Meteorological Observatory: If it doesn't rain today and tomorrow, it won't rain these two days, depending on the day after tomorrow. The meteorological observatory solemnly advises beautiful women not to wear skirts in recent days, which is easy to be angered. The rain is good, but the wind is not serious!

5. The woman is pregnant and has a bad temper. One day she quarreled with her husband. She thought he didn't love her. She picked up the bottle and drank it hard. Her husband grabbed the bottle and said, you want to get drunk with my son. What if he is drunk and doesn't want to come out? ......

6. A student said: Teacher, I want to shit! ?

Teacher:? Speak politely! ?

The student was silent for a while and said, teacher, my ass wants to vomit! ?

7. An old farmer caught some chickens, put them in a coop, and then went to the market to sell them. He walked on his back for a while and felt very tired. He thought, wouldn't it be easy for me to let them out and go to the fair at once? ?

So, he let the chicken out of the cage, and the chicken immediately ran around. He picked up a stick and shouted at it. These damn chickens, it's dark in the middle of the night, you can announce the dawn on time, but you don't know the way in broad daylight. ?

8. male:? Male single. Do you know his name?

Woman:? I know, single dog. ?

Man:? What's the name of that single woman?

Woman:? I don't know ...

Man:? The dog ignored it. ?

9. Dad was furious when he saw Xiaoming doing something wrong and wanted to beat him up. Mother pleaded, give him a break this time! It's not too late to punish him next time! ? Dad asked:? That's easy for you to say. What if he doesn't succeed next time