Classic quotes for job applications

Classic quotations for job applications

Classic quotations for job applications 1: "Are you hiring or not?"

A company offers generous benefits. The booth was crowded and many applicants were rejected outright. A man fought his way through the crowd, squeezed to the table, waved his fists and shouted: "Are you hiring or not?"

Classic job application quotations 2. "Two-way choice"

Go to the job fair, see the booth and submit your resume. One of the booths was really unavailable, so I directly applied to the one recruiting the vice president. The recruiter looked at me and said, "Do you think we can rest assured that we will hand over this company to you now?" I said, "There is nothing to worry about. We have a two-way choice!"

Classic job application quotations 3. "We don't want notebooks"

When I came to the job fair, I handed over a thick stack of carefully crafted and laser-printed resumes religiously. The other person's words knocked me to the bottom: "Sorry, we want resumes, not notebooks!"

Classic job application quotes 4. "A small temple cannot accommodate a big Bodhisattva."

Went to a job fair with classmates, two people I invested in the same company, but they didn't seem interested. After he came back, he complained, saying that the girl in charge of recruitment was blind and could not see his strengths. I sneered: "People are well-informed, how can they not see your strengths? It's just that they think your strengths are not long enough..." He was stunned for a moment, and then retorted: "Don't you have the same result?" < /p>

I answered calmly: "Why am I the same as you? Didn't you hear what they said to me in the end?" I cleared my throat: "They said: 'A small temple cannot accommodate a big Bodhisattva! '"

Classic quotations for job applications 5: "Learn from the foreigners and develop skills to defeat the foreigners."

When I applied for a job in a foreign company, I was asked the reason for my choice. By some strange coincidence, I said He said: "Learn from the barbarians and learn skills to defeat the barbarians!" and was driven out on the spot.

Classic application quotations 6: "Are you from a famous university?"

In November last year, I learned that a news system talent recruitment fair was held in Shanghai, so I rushed there non-stop. In order to avoid getting wrinkled in my suit on the train, I hung the clothes stays in my hands. When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a restroom, put on my clothes, fixed my hair, and went straight to the job fair. There were more than 20 resumes in the bag, and I handed them over one by one. Unexpectedly, the other person looked at the resume, looked up blankly and asked me: "Are you from a famous university?" I really wanted to tell you about the glorious school history of the past century. She listened, but under the spotlight, I disappeared in despair.

Classic job application quotes 7: "Boss, do you want to hire a part-time worker?"

Although I only want to be a part-time worker, I have to go to the largest talent market in Beijing to find a job. Dress appropriately! You can't make a fool of yourself in public places. So I put on a suit and tie, polished my leather shoes, and hit the road. When we arrived at the talent market, we saw a sea of ??people and an airtight atmosphere. I didn't squeeze in, thinking: "With my conditions, finding a part-time job will be a piece of cake!" So I waited, waited, and when the sun went down, no one came to recruit me. Seeing that I was about to lose my chance, a man came over quickly. I quickly tidied my hair. As long as he asked, I would agree to any conditions.

He came over and said only one sentence: "Boss, do you want to recruit workers?"

Classic quotations for job applications 8: "Tell a joke!"

< p> A famous entrepreneur personally hosted the interview, and I handed in my resume nervously. The entrepreneur didn’t ask anything else, just said: "Tell me a joke!" I hesitated for a long time, and finally came up with a joke about parrots: "A A man went to a pet store to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper said to him: "We have three parrots. The blue one can speak four languages ??and sells for 1,000 yuan. The red one can speak six languages ??and sells for 3,000 yuan. The yellow one cannot speak." , sold for 5,000 yuan. 'How could this happen?' The man shouted, 'It can't do anything!' 'That's it,' the shop owner explained, 'We don't know, but the other two call it Boss. . '" After I finished speaking, I turned blue, knowing in my heart that this time it was over again! ;