I kind of want to hear jokes and stories. ,。 Has it

1, raising a large family requires wages, raising a small one outside requires foreign capital, working hard all day, running around all day, laughing on both sides, and exhausted. 2. A cricket and a pig bet that I jumped into the grass and you couldn't see me. The pig said, I want to see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why is the pig still watching? If I hold seven apples in my left hand and eight apples in my right hand, I can draw the conclusion that I have ... a pair of big hands. The happiest thing in life is that I can do things that others can't, for example, I can send you text messages and you don't know who I am, hahaha! I got drunk and came home dizzy, and threw up soon after I got home. The next morning, my wife said: eat and drink when you eat out, and don't go home to report what you ate. 6. Dating my girlfriend, I saw someone in front who looks like my girlfriend, so I went up and patted her ass. She slapped me as soon as she turned her head. Then someone patted me on the shoulder ... My girlfriend slapped me as soon as I turned my head. 7, the suggestion is very ugly! 1. If you are a man, please don't have a dog. If you have a dog, don't have a dog that can jump into bed. If your dog can jump on the bed, you shouldn't sleep naked. If you really like sleeping naked, don't keep a dog with sausage. 5, a lesson from the past ~ ~ ~ 8, when I was in the fifth and sixth grades of elementary school, I watched TV at my cousin's house one night. Watch CCTV-6. When it comes to sex scenes, my aunt will change the channel with the remote control and say that children can't watch this. The younger brother grabbed the remote control and shouted, don't worry, CCTV won't turn it off. 9. I once took a walk with BF after dinner, but it took a long time. When I walked back, it was already dark and I was very tired. I sat at the bus stop on the side of the road to rest. Then I think if there is a car to do at this time, BF said sarcastically, why don't we take a taxi back! Actually, there is only 1 stop left. Just then a plane flew in the sky, and my mind rushed out: hit the plane! Then BF immediately said yes, let's masturbate, let's go to the opposite grove! I'm embarrassed! Well, think twice before you speak ... joke