My brother-in-law invited guests to dinner and left beforehand. My husband paid in advance. When I saw WeChat the next day, I was stunned. Why?

There is a saying: no effort is appreciated. But some people have this kind of personality. They are not weak. They like to help others silently by nature. However, they often do some good deeds, but in the end they are misunderstood.

For people who often do thankless things, in the final analysis, they value friendship too much and consider others in everything. Especially for his family, he will give unconditionally. Even if others appreciate it at all, he still feels that he should do that. Even if he is criticized in the end, he will not realize that it is his "nosy".

However, it’s not that he doesn’t know it, but that he values ??his family too much. But if someone really points it out about him, he will completely wake up.

My friend Xiao Ning’s husband just likes to silently help the family around him, and is often disliked by others. He himself doesn’t think there is a problem. He always tells Xiao Ning that the family should not care so much, but he doesn’t If he cares, others will be more serious, and his help will not be appreciated at all.

Xiao Ning’s husband has a sister and a brother. Neither of them is as rich as Xiao Ning’s family, but they have never thought of taking advantage of Xiao Ning’s family. When Xiaoning's aunt's son got married, she would rather borrow money from friends than tell her husband, but her husband happily gave 30,000 yuan to his sister.

He thought he was helping out with good intentions, but aunt Xiao Ning thought that this brother looked down on her from the bottom of her heart. The aunt was embarrassed to say it clearly, and said euphemistically that she didn't need the money and didn't need others to pretend to be kind. In fact, she is talking about Xiao Ning's husband, but her husband still doesn't know why.

Xiao Ning went back and told her husband that if her eldest sister didn’t borrow the money, don’t take the initiative to give her money, but her husband said: “That’s my sister. I heard that her sons get married with friends. We have good conditions for borrowing money. If this spreads out, it will make other people laugh. My brother will not care about it, and let my sister borrow money from outsiders."

Xiao Ning said that her husband actually values ??her more. Face, he is always afraid of others gossiping about him, so he has to make things perfect and try his best to make it impossible for others to find fault. But when he helped his sister and brother, he did know that they were in trouble and showed kindness.

However, people have different ideas. Aunt Xiao Ning would rather borrow money from her friends than go back to her parents’ home to talk to her brother. It’s not that she doesn’t accept his brother’s favor, it’s that everyone sees her as The angle of the problem is different, and the consideration of things is not the same.

Things like this have happened to my brother-in-law before, but Xiao Ning’s husband didn’t think it was a big deal. She told her husband that the other party didn’t appreciate it, but he said it was Xiao Ning’s fault. Considered. Sometimes she complained that Xiao Ning was too careless and didn't treat her husband's family as relatives.

Xiao Ning is sometimes speechless about her husband's thoughts. After all, they are all relatives of his family. If he wants to do something thankless, she can't do anything about it.

Once my brother-in-law invited the whole family to dinner after he was promoted. He received a call from the company and left first. However, his wife was there, but her husband saw that the whole family had almost eaten, so he went to eat first. The bill was settled, and then the brother-in-law and his wife went to settle the bill, only to learn that Xiao Ning's husband had already settled the bill.

At that time, the brother-in-law’s wife wanted to return the money to him, but Xiao Ning’s husband said that as his brother, he certainly could not ask for the money. The two parties did not struggle with the matter for too long, and went back to their respective homes.

As a result, Xiao Ning’s husband was stunned when he saw the WeChat message sent by his brother-in-law the next day. The brother-in-law said: "My family is treating guests. Why do you want to show off in front of us? Don't always think that you have a lot of money just because you want to show it in front of us. Although we don't have as much money as you, we don't rely on your charity. In the past, when you had nothing to do, you gave us money." , which one of us sent you to pay that little bit? Although I left during the treat, my wife is still here, and it is not your turn to pay the bill."

The brother-in-law complained about his brother in every line, and Xiao Ning's husband couldn't be more worried. Big, this time he also saw the consequences of his own nosy. What he thought was good intentions may really be unnecessary in the eyes of others.

Xiao Ning said: "My brother-in-law treated me to dinner, but he left beforehand. My husband paid in advance. The next day, I was stunned when I saw WeChat. He told me that this time he really recognized his identity. In the past, I always thought that brothers and sisters should help each other, but in fact, it was all his own fault. Neither his sister nor his brother thought that his actions were well-intentioned.

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The help between brothers and sisters should be when the other party is in need and asks you for help. Don’t be self-righteous and think that your initiative is just a help in a timely manner. Your kindness is valued in your own eyes. , but the other party may not need it.

The most comfortable relationship between people is to have a sense of boundaries. Although brothers and sisters were once a family, they must recognize their relationship after getting married. , you are still a family in your parents’ home, but from the perspective of your respective families, you are just relatives.

Xiao Ning’s husband seems to be well-intentioned and values ??family affection, but in the end, he still does it for the sake of family. Because of his good economic conditions, he wanted to portray himself as a "good person" in the minds of outsiders. Therefore, when he learned that his brothers and sisters needed help, he chose to take the initiative to "attack" them. My consideration is that I don’t want to rely on him.

Brothers and sisters are a family before they get married. Once they have their own marriages and families, the relationship will be much more subtle, especially when it comes to money-related matters. The one who has no money doesn’t want to be seen as heartless, and the one who doesn’t have money doesn’t want to look up to others.

Human emotions are complicated, and there is no set standard for how to deal with many things. It mainly depends on the individual. If you are willing to maintain the affection between each other, you will not care about other people's opinions, and you will not over-interpret the behavior of your loved ones.

Even with the changes in their own lives, the past will change. Family members have become relatives, but the affection between each other still exists. If you want to maintain this affection, you must maintain your own position. Don’t run away from things that should be taken care of, and don’t rush to face things that you shouldn’t worry about. .

As a human being, you must have a clear understanding of the boundaries between family ties. As long as you do your best, the bond between family members will never be erased.

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