Please help translate it into English! Want a human brain to translate! Don't turn the machine upside down!

The translation is good, but your paragraph is a prank, right?

Hello everyone! I'm xx. I'm xx from the dean's office, the counselor and the supervisor's office.

I know what you are thinking. I know exactly what you are thinking.

You're thinking, I shouldn't be here right now.

But I have come, but the fact is that I have come.

Tell you a secret, tell you a secret,

I have a dual personality, I have a dual personality,

In other words, I suffer from schizophrenia, that is, I am suffocated by schizophrenia.

Paranoid schizophrenia! paranoid schizophrenia

I can't control myself. I can't control myself.

I'm here for one purpose-to harass all of you! I'm here for one purpose-to harass all of you!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I'll tell you one more thing. I am like another me, telling you another story, me, as another me.

Will reappear after 1 hour. Will come here again in an hour.

Looking forward to it? You want that, don't you? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.