What benefits can children bring if they can get in touch with excellent peers?

Do you find it fun for two children to play together?

They can laugh their asses off; A joke that looks cold to an adult, you can roll with laughter; We can play some games that we think are "boring" with great interest.

I talked to my friends about playing with children before. She said, "Every time Kiki asks me to play with her, I say,' Mom, let me tell you a story'".

I smiled and said, "Haha, how come all mothers in the world are the same, so am I."

Sometimes, even if we really want to play games with children, no matter how we play, it can't be the natural expression of our true nature, which will lead to the lack of equal and two-way communication and competition between children and others. This one-way communication greatly reduces the fun of playing.

Therefore, only when you play with children will you laugh so dripping and carefree.

Adler, the founder of individual psychology, once said in the book Children's Educational Psychology:

When children reach the age of 3, they should be encouraged to play games with other children and gradually eliminate their fear of strangers. Otherwise, in the future, these children will blush and be timid when they come into contact with strangers, and treat others with hostility, which often happens to children who spoil too much. Such children always want to "crowd out" others.

It is inevitable for children to play together, grab toys and quarrel, but it is in this process that they learn tolerance, cooperation and rules.

These are difficult to learn when playing with adults.

Of course, in the process of playing with peers, children may encounter many difficulties at first. For example, parents have no relatives in this city, and there are not many friends who can often go out to play when they are new here.

Coupled with the child's own introverted personality, fear of contact with strangers and so on.

Therefore, what we need first is the child of a friend of the same age whose parents are familiar with, and then we can slowly try to find children to play with in different occasions.

The first step is to learn to communicate.

The child's initial psychology may be like the rabbit with a broken ear in I like Annie. He wants to play with Annie, but he only dares to hide behind a tree and watch from a distance, thinking that Annie will think he is stupid and not brave.

I tried to get Annie's attention, but I scared people away.

Finally, the rabbit overcame shyness and timidity, and invited Annie actively and bravely, and he also won the friendship. Took the first step of communication.

Later, in the book Let's Play, this little rabbit named Ricky can not only play with all rabbits, but also play with carrots, pilots, jumping rabbits and "train teams" on his head for a while.

He also invited a somewhat shy person to join them, just like he did at the beginning.

In the "old place", children can understand that we need to wait patiently when good friends don't want to be disturbed.

In Happy Birthday, children can feel the happiness brought by friendship like Ricky.

Similarly, in the picture book "I have friendship for rent", I also told my children that if they want to get friendship, they should take the initiative to find friends. Video | The Story of Children Making Friends

Rainbow Flowers tells children the joy of sharing.

"Perfect Companion" makes children understand that true good friends should help each other, not pay unilaterally.

These picture books can only be used as an auxiliary guide to tell children some rules or common sense of interpersonal communication with stories.

In the end, children can internalize their own interpersonal rules in combination with the reality of playing with children.

Of course, before children take this step of interacting with peers, at home, we should also pay attention to whether the rules at home are inconsistent with the rules of society.

Many unsociable children have difficulties in interpersonal communication because they are the center at home. When playing games, you can only win, not lose, and give whatever you want.

If you are used to holding the moon and looking at the stars, it will create an illusory cognition for your children, and others will have to rely on me. Then when playing with children, there must be constant conflicts and the children themselves suffer.

Therefore, the life experience formed by children playing with friends is something that adults do not have. When playing with friends, it will naturally form a "little leader" and a "little follower", from which children can fight for the right to speak or cooperate with "listening to orders" and get a happy experience. This "communication mode" is not available to adults.

Moreover, adults play with them, mostly for the purpose of "entertainment", not to say that this is not good, but that children also need to play with children and laugh heartily.