Journey to the West Classic Funny Quotations

Journey to the West Classic Funny Quotations

King of Daughter Country: Brother Tang Priest, come with me! Tang Priest: No! I am a Taoist, how can I do such a business? (Swallows a gulp of saliva) King of Daughter Country: What about your disciple? Tang Priest: Well, as long as they are willing, I will never stop them.

King of Daughter Country: Good! Prime Minister, go and call some disciples of Elder Tang.

(Several disciples come to the hall) People ask: I want to know what the king and master want from us. Tang Priest: The Queen wants to find a Mr Right among you. what do you think?

The Monkey King (jumping out first): Master, my apprentice was crushed to death by Wuzhishan. Fortunately, I was saved by the master. I should have wholeheartedly escorted Master to the West for Buddhist scriptures. However, I made trouble in the Heavenly Palace and scolded the Tathagata. Even if he goes to the Western Heaven, the Tathagata will definitely embarrass me. It was only a matter of time before he was fired. I might as well stay here. . .

Friar Sand: Master, Jason Wu used to be a roller shutter general. Anyway, he graduated from junior college, so it's no problem to work in the West. But now it's popular to do business in the sea. I studied fish farming in Liushahe for several years, and my daughter country is rich in water resources. I want to build a fish farm in Zimu River to help my daughter country get rid of poverty as soon as possible, which is also the call of the corresponding countries!

Bajie: Master, although the old pig is incompetent, he is willing to escort Master westward. . . However, carrying water for cooking and fertilizing the fields every day, such a heavy job, must be pressed on these weak shoulders. Master, do you have the heart? Is it true that monks pay attention to compassion? Although you can become a Buddha in the Western Heaven and have a house, what is it as long as you can share the worries for these poor women? If I don't go to hell, who will! ! ! Let me stay!

(The female officials in the audience are crying) Friar Sand and the Monkey King think: tnnd! When did this idiot become so talkative? Tang Priest: Sorry. Tell you what, you three each have a chance to woo the queen, and who you are depends on your fate.

The Monkey King: I can change to 72. I can ride a somersault cloud, make trouble in heaven, and fight Buddha. Strong body, never drink Huiren Shenbao. You follow me to somersault. Traveling to Europe and America, you don't have to buy a plane ticket, even your passport is saved! Hey, hey, hey, are you tempted?

King of Daughter Country: Can you surf the Internet? The Monkey King: Online? Oh! I fell on the spider web when I was in the silk cave. I smashed the web with two sticks, haha! King of Daughter Country: Next!

Monkey King: I am a national champion in boxing, stick fighting and Sanda, and I have a double master's degree in raising horses and growing peaches. . .

King of Daughter Country: Next! Friar Sand thinks that although I have a clever mouth, I was lucky enough to read a love book, A Chinese Odyssey, the day before yesterday. Hey, hey, hey, something special. So he stood in the middle of the hall with his hands open. . . Friar Sand sang: Only you, the love in my heart!

Only you, let me forget to learn!

Only you are the love in my heart! Only you ... King of Daughter Country: Oh, your head! Great! Friar Sand: No! Please. King of Daughter Country: Good! Give you another chance. Why do you love me?

Friar Sand (exulting in my heart: Here comes the opportunity, I have recited this classic dialogue N times): Do you need a reason to love someone? Need it? Need it? Need it? Need it?

Daughter country: post it indiscriminately! (Friar Sand hears vaguely in the disorderly stick: Our two-year-old children can recite these words! The Monkey King watched Friar Sand being beaten out, glanced at Pig's pig nose and thought, It's me this time? )

Bajie (walking slowly to the center of the hall, his face full of vicissitudes) slowly read: Forget it, Internet. Moonlight night, short matsuoka. Next to the computer, I am getting dressed. Relatively quiet, only the keyboard is busy. Remember, Zhu Jun Lang. Raise your glass and sing in a low voice. On heroes, laugh at the vicissitudes of life, meet each other late, only long love.

Suddenly screaming all over the house. The queen brightened at the moment and was about to speak. . . Bajie: Up to now, I won't hide it. I am the CEO of Bajie. The company will be listed in the United States in three months. . .

Suddenly screaming like thunder, 200 beautiful women fainted on the spot, and the rest of you mm took out paper and pens and rushed to Bajie. . . The queen used 0.0 1 sec to worship heaven and earth and went straight to the bridal chamber. . . Then Tang Priest and others went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures. This is another story.

I heard that the Monkey King's heart was full of jealousy, and later he wrote a book called The Journey to the West under the pseudonym of Wu Cheng'en, deliberately omitting this paragraph and making Pig Bajie ugly, lazy and stupid, fooling the world. In fact, Pig Bajie is the most learned and handsome pig I have ever seen, and the first pig to go online in history.

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