Short sentences that amuse classmates

1. If a girl makes her classmates happy, it's hard to guess her mind. In fact, the way to make them happy is simple. Usually girls can be happy with humorous language and natural temperament.

A crow sat in a tree and did nothing all day. A little rabbit saw a crow and asked, "Can I sit there doing nothing all day like you?" The crow replied, "Of course, why not?" So the rabbit sat under the tree and began to rest.

Suddenly, a fox appeared. The fox jumped on the rabbit … and ate it.

The moral of this story is ... if you want to sit there and do nothing, you must sit very, very high. 1. Money is not a problem, but no money! 2. I am drunk and won't accept anyone, just hold the wall! I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out. 4. You know what, big brother? Second brother's meat is now more expensive than master's. 5. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then you should at least eat a pair of whales ... 6. Clear water makes no fish, and people are invincible.

7. Youth is like toilet paper. You can see a lot, but it is not enough to use. 8. Being pregnant is just like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it. 9. Friends around you, please become famous quickly, so that my memories can sell well ~~~ 10. Colleagues may be nervous when they meet customers. The first sentence is "Hello, Mr. Liu, what's your name?" Khan ~ ~ ~ ~11. A female classmate is a little black and her boyfriend is a little white. One day, the poison queen in the dormitory suddenly said to her, "You can't do this, you will have zebras." 12. My mother always treats handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always look at me like this. 14 I'm too lazy to compare with you. I am not a casual person. 15 I am not a casual person. God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it. Since then, darkness has appeared in the world of 16. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four words to say, including this one and the first two. I'm done.

17. To be a man, you must be a man hovering between cows. My name is God, my name is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata.

19. People can't hang themselves on a tree, but try to die several times on several nearby trees. 20. If a tree doesn't need its skin, it will die. People are shameless and invincible in the world. 2 1. The farmer's three fists hurt a little. In fact, I have always been very popular: I was liked by everyone when I was a child, and now I am a bitch. 23. I am not afraid of enemies like tigers, but I am afraid of teammates like pigs. 24. Go your own way and let others take a taxi. 25. Rats are looking for cats all over the street with knives. 26. As long as you work hard, you can shit seriously. 27. Who runs fastest in China? It's Cao Cao (not Liu Xiang).

Because speaking of the devil, you can go as far as you want. Only when there is a long queue at the railway station can you really realize that you are a "descendant of the dragon". 30. Lovers eventually become family 3 1. Spring has come, and a flock of geese fly north, forming a B-shape for a while and a T-shape for a while ... 32. Lie down where you fell. 33. Don't be arrogant, you think I'm HELLO KITTY! 34. Yes, I have been thinking ~◆ Are women fat, plump, thin, slim, tall, slim, short and petite? Men are fat, pigs are thin, ribs are tall, bamboo poles are short, and wax gourd Professor: 90% of adult women in China are not virgins. The president sent a letter to the other 65,438+00% women. Have you ever heard of this? The girls shook their heads.

"So you didn't get the letter!" ◆ "How much do you love me?" "Almost a dime." "Is that all?" "Isn't a dime ten dollars?" You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention. God lost his temper. If you live, who will set off the beauty of the world without you! 0 1. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird! 02. Arguing with MM about whether a whale is a fish, I finally said "I also bring a personal word", and she agreed that a whale is not a fish.

03. The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again. If the answer was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

05. Life can't be like cooking. You can't cook until all the materials are ready. 06. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers.

Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years! 07. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it. 08. There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever ... 09. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic ... 10. Don't be afraid of enemies like tigers, but teammates like pigs! 1 1. Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind ... 12. I used to have a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but I put them in a pot to stew soup ... 13. If the water is clear, there will be no fish, and if people are cheap, they will be invincible! 14. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

15. Today, a group of Japanese people visited our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen Japanese people wearing clothes! 16. How far away your thoughts are, how far you go! ! ! 17. I am poor, my servant is poor, my gardener is poor, and my driver is poor ... 18. The bank said, "This is in line with international practice!" When he was in service, he said: "We must consider China's national conditions!" 19. It is not necessarily a prince riding a white horse, he may be Tang Priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man. 20. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

2 1. Stand higher and pee farther. 22. The minimum goal of a college student: a peasant woman, a mountain spring and a little field. 23. My friend's name in his girlfriend's mobile phone is "He". Later, they broke up and became "it" ... 24. Don't call me if you have nothing to do, let alone something! 25. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes! 26. Buddha said: "Looking back 500 times in previous lives, you will get a pass in this life."

I would rather pass the world by 500 times in my life. 27. What can I do to kill your lover ... 28. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet and learned everything when you went out.

29. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves ... 30. I want to fall in love early, but it's too late ... 3 1. Teacher! Just follow that old woman! I love you! What do you care? 33. There is no end to learning.

2. A word that amuses everyone. Hello! ! ! Trying to amuse girls and telling jokes on purpose is actually not effective. Deliberately telling jokes has no feeling. From my personal experience, my advice to you is that you can watch some jokes and cold jokes on the Internet as a pastime, and you don't have to watch them on purpose, just feel funny. Then if you find them funny, you can probably write them down. In normal conversation, sometimes there will be something that can be used to lead jokes, and you can take the opportunity. Deliberately told jokes, sometimes funny, will also be cold; However, cold jokes that appear on appropriate occasions sometimes make your stomach ache with laughter. Reference: Wu Zongxian. He is a talent who brings the punch line of cold jokes to the extreme ~ His jokes don't need to be deliberately arranged, as long as he grasps the theme, he will laugh at you immediately. Do you think this is more natural, humorous and attractive? These are my suggestions, and I am honored to answer them for you.

The sentence that boys make girls happy is the most beautiful encounter in my life.

Making a promise with you is the most eternal scenery in my plain years. I've always wanted to say that wherever I go, the place I want to go most is by your side.

May we love each other until the end of time. I believe we can wait for our hair to turn gray together.

You are here, I am here, and the seas run dry and the rocks crumble. Not too gorgeous, only one sentence I like you, but it can make each other care.

Honey, you know, even though I'm black and blue, I still have the strength to love you. Some people only look at you, but they affect your life.

Life is like wrapping jiaozi. No matter what stuffing you are, I will wrap you tightly in my heart. No matter how the boiled water of life is cooked, my love for you will never fade! How many people have been hurt by love, how many people's hearts have been hurt, how many memories have been destroyed, how many feelings have been hurt, how many memories have been lost, and how many memories have been lost. Even if a moth puts out the fire, it still doesn't hesitate. They only look at love and hurt themselves, but they can't end their lives. They shed a lot of spoony tears, drank a glass of turbid wine and tasted how much ordinary love! If you are my lotus, let me keep a long-term affection for you in my life! "My eyes are raining for her, but my heart is holding an umbrella for her. This is love. " At least once in your life, forget yourself for whom.

I really like you. Please believe me.

Let the tide of love come closer to us bit by bit. No matter how big the storm is, I will be by your side to shelter you from the wind and rain. I want to love someone, that is, the determination to abandon everything and only be with her.

Love, without reason, is because of the throb of the heart, affection, no excuse, a thousand times looking back. Even if the world disappears, my love for you is still there.

Put that oath gently on your finger and the two of them will be together forever. A growth is just a fall, and only the old times bring us happiness.

Love is simple: one you, single-minded. The most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you.

Kiss, open your hand, and let love stay here. With calm love, I will accompany you to see the fleeting scenery.

Although you are not the best, you are the only one I love. I am willing to exchange 10,000 cycles for you and me forever.

You are forever, no matter how long, no matter how far, I will always love you. The oath of love will always be with you and me.

Just because I took one more look at you in the crowd, I never forgot your face again.

Hold you in my heart, hold my hand, and silently pray that God will guide me, not for eternity, but for being by your side. Thinking about you is something I don't have to think about every day. As time goes by, you remain in my heart.

Although there are many flowers, there are no duplicates. I hope you are my destiny takes a hand. There are many people who like you and don't lack me, but I love very few people, only you! No matter how the years change, my love for you has never changed! Just for one person, all my life, the ends of the earth, I only wish you peace! As long as I am with you, there is nothing I don't want to do. Let me protect you forever! We are all unique, let's get to know each other by destiny, and let's spend our lives together with love! On that day, you were the end of the world and I was the cape, in pairs. At that time, you were the bright moon, I was the clear spring, and I was full of worries about life. I love you every day, love you every moment, miss you every minute, and hope that God can complete our life! I have no time to participate in your past, and I will accompany you to the end in your future! I will wait for you in spring. As the mountains and rivers agreed, if you look up and see clouds floating in the sky that day, it will be the most beautiful meeting in our life. Who will fight for hegemony? Now I have pointed my finger at the end of the world, but I just want to caress the piano for you and be carefree from now on! At that time, on the West Lake, you played for the Iraqi people, and the Iraqi people danced for you, and you couldn't play all the love in your last life. The blue butterfly was drunk among the flowers and walked around the world hand in hand.

Waiting for the years to change, my love for you has never changed! The love of a lifetime is only for Iraqis! Do you know you are my favorite person? It is not impossible to go through fire and water for you. I have never loved you so much. When I met you, I felt I was the luckiest person! Among thousands of people, flowers bloom and fall in that season, and you and I first met; On that sunny and flowing day, you and I knew each other; When Xia Feng looked at the stars tenderly side by side, you and I fell in love. I would rather spend my whole life waiting for you to find that I have been by your side and never gone far.

Love is not that deep. Being together is the greatest happiness. Because of you, I believe in true love. Because of you, I believe forever.

I want to tell you loudly that you have always been in my world. We all say that no matter what happens in the future, don't forget some childish promises! I miss you in the sky, in front of me, in my heart, and in my heart.

Talk about love for the purpose of marriage once in your life, and then stay together like that. In the fleeting time, the years are good. Once in a lifetime, talk about a love for the purpose of marriage! Believe for the last time, go straight ahead and you will reach the end of your life. With me, nothing can be greater than you.

Love is the first time we meet, but we still miss it after thousands of turns. Where are you, that is, you want to be the end of the world that I miss.

I will spend my life with you and protect you. The first time I saw you was the most beautiful encounter in my life.

Making a promise with you is the most eternal scenery in my plain years. The only meanness in this life is that you are mine.

Thinking about the future with you, I'm not afraid of anything else. 20 16 with your company, I believe that we will not be afraid of wind and rain.

4. Funny sentences that make girls happy ★☆ Summarize the latest 22 hilarious jokes ★☆ Have fun after reading them! ! ! 1. In high school, after class was over, all the students went outside to buy lunch boxes.

A girl took a shortcut before others, and the manhole cover in front of her fell off! After a while, she climbed up with the edge of the well. She was embarrassed. A group of junior high school students walked by in horror. She was in a hurry and said as she climbed, hey! It's really difficult to repair ... ★☆ 2. When I was in middle school, I was bitten by mosquitoes in summer, and it was uncomfortable to itch in class, but I couldn't reach in and scratch, I could bear it! It's killing me After class, I stole a box of cool oil from my deskmate (girl) and ran to the toilet. I regretted it after putting it on-DD stood up and said nothing! I can't stop without clothes in summer, so I have to bend down and move back to the classroom, sit down and lean on the desk and dare not move. Cool oil smells so bad that my deskmate snapped, You stole my cool oil? Where did you wipe it? ! I wish I was dead! I just opened the coke and drank it twice, then shook it and blew it out.

Hold it in your mouth, stick it, and finally spray it out of your nose. ★☆ 3. One day, I got on the bus with a good friend, and the front was full, so I ran to the back, and there were just two seats. There are two middle school students sitting in the front row.

After one stop, a woman in her twenties led a 7-or 8-year-old boy on the bus. (I later learned that this is her child. () There were no seats, so I stood next to those two middle school students.

Before long, the child began to make trouble and said that his leg hurt. The middle school student stood up and offered his seat to the child.

The young woman said: Let the child do it on your knee. Middle school students agreed.

The child sat on the knee of the middle school student. After a few more stops, a girl came over.

It's the kind that is extremely beautiful and extremely sexy. A low-cut skirt.

When the bus was running, the child suddenly shouted at his mother, "Mom, my brother's little boy is moving!" " Just like dad's. "Wandering around! Hehe, there was a commotion in the car.

That middle school student is very ashamed. Pull the classmate, and then shout to the driver: "ring the doorbell!" ! "(He wants to open the door, hehe) Then, he got off.

★☆ 4. When I was in high school, I woke up at home at noon and ate two oranges. After eating the yellow on my finger, I went straight to school without washing my hands. When I was with my classmates in the afternoon, one of them said, "Why are you so disgusting? You wipe your fingers with shit! " "I said," it's not shit, it's eating oranges at noon. " Then I shook my finger.

Two days later, it will be miserable. The whole school knows that there is a classmate in our school who wipes his ass with his fingers after taking a shit, and has been nagging his fingers since he did it, saying that it smells like oranges. One day, he was walking in the street with a beautiful woman and good friend. Suddenly, a vendor who bought porn came to my good friend and said, hey, sister, come and have a look. There is a new movie. My friend is very angry. What happened? Do I know you? I'm in a hurry to eat in a restaurant, the waiter said enthusiastically; There is no bathroom in our hotel. You can go to the toilet opposite. We have an agreement with them. When you get there, you can say that you are eating! ★☆ 7. One day, a female friend of mine came to me and said, "I am depressed, I am bleeding."

"Blood collapse?" I asked. "The amount of menstruation is so large!" Answer.

Oh, as a man, of course I don't know what a bloody collapse is. There are two flowers, one for each table.

A few days later, my boss who hadn't given me a raise for several years suddenly gave me a raise. I sat in my office, smiling with a paycheck, and said, "I feel that I haven't had my period for several months, and today I suddenly have a bloody collapse."

When I looked up, the whole office was staring at me.

★☆ 8. In the third year of high school, in the chemistry class, the teacher talked about organic chemistry polymers or something.

Suddenly the teacher gave an example and drew a "phthalein bond" on the blackboard, telling everyone that this is a "eunuch". Let's give him a "methyl" and laugh. ★☆ 9. University, I study computer.

During the internship on the computer, when the teacher dozed off, all beings were crazy about CS. Our captain couldn't hold back his excitement and quickly established a local area network. Classic dust2, the captain shouted: I am cheap (made), I am cheap (made), don't rob me. ——! Don't worry, my captain, we won't fight you.

★☆ 10. The university handed in a BF, and I haven't been to his dormitory for a long time. One day, I went to his dormitory to find him, and I was very anxious. I opened the door and found him in the whole dormitory. Because they didn't know each other very well, I was a little nervous and asked him where he was going.

I don't know why, but I blurted out, "Where's my man? ! "The whole dormitory was silent 10 seconds, and I rushed out of the door. ★☆ 1 1. What a pity! During the May Day holiday this year, my mother and I went to the shopping mall for a long time.

Later, I went to a counter selling sports shoes. My mother asked me to try on a pair of shoes. I was exhausted at that time, and even I felt that my mind was not very clear. ~ ~ ~ Maybe I tried on too many pants before. I began to untie my belt without saying a word, and then naturally I had to pull the pants door. Oh, my God, my mother called. Hey, what are you doing? ! I just recovered! The shoe seller looked at me, stupefied.

I really ... hey! Face as hot as a roast pig! What a pity! ★☆ 12. 13 years old, I came to work for the first time (menstruation) and wanted my mother to buy me sanitary napkins, but ... I felt embarrassed to tell my mother. Finally, I called my mother for a long time and finally got up the courage to say to my mother: Mom, I'm pregnant (actually, I was going to say, "Mom, I'm here to work." Huh? My face turned red as soon as I brushed it. Uh ... I'm so depressed ★☆ 13. When I was in high school, my friends and I had lunch near the school. He ordered a bowl of lasagna and another friend was drinking coke. Then I wonder who told a joke. The coke drinker laughed so hard that coke dripped from his nose. Friends laugh at others' embarrassment, but Zhang Kuan's face comes out of his nostrils! After graduating from college, I can't help laughing every time I see him ★☆ 14. Once I was shopping outside the store outside the station, a man suddenly rushed over and asked my comrade to bring me a bag.