The art of speaking between strangers: take the initiative to apologize when offending others

The art of speaking between strangers: apologize when you offend others. There is an old saying in China, if you don't know each other, there will be conflicts between strangers. The wrong party can take the initiative to sincerely apologize to the other party, which can not only resolve contradictions, but also enhance the feelings between people and make the two sides become good friends.

One sentence makes people laugh.

The car driven by Zhou Xiao was loaded with people on the expressway, and the recording was played while running. A car came from behind and honked its horn several times, but Zhou Xiao and his companions didn't hear it. Zhou Xiao's car ran over this car for a long time.

This car saw more opportunities than Zhou Xiao's car and stopped in front of Zhou Xiao's car, blocking the way. Several people got off the bus and cursed while accusing. Zhou Xiao's friends are not afraid, and a duel is about to begin.

At this time, Zhou Xiao was very calm. He got off the bus and walked forward. While undressing, he said loudly: friends, although I didn't mean to press the car today, it brought trouble to everyone. It's time to fight. I took off my clothes for your convenience. Please hit it gently and quickly, so that everyone can hurry up. What Zhou Xiao said made everyone laugh.

Everyone said forget it and go their separate ways.

In daily life, there are always some scenes that need to be apologized. Zhou Xiao took the initiative to admit his mistake, accepted the responsibility and admitted the punishment, and his humor was reasonable, which naturally resolved the contradiction.

Jump in one word.

Just in time for the morning rush hour, the cars on the road lined up. A bus is driving slowly on the bus lane, and people are crowded on it. Suddenly, a car came out and wanted to take the bus lane to overtake. The bus driver immediately came to an emergency brake, which made the people on the bus miserable. Everyone cried almost in unison. Suddenly a young man shouted: Hold on, don't come around!

Looking intently, it turned out that a man in his thirties and forties almost pushed a young man down. That's what the young man said just now!

The bus is crowded, so stay if you want to go home! The man's tone is very blunt.

Don't grab the handrail at this age! Can you take a bus? This young man is not easy to mess with.

The two men hugged each other and argued endlessly. Someone next to him said: Why are men narrower than women now? What has degenerated into?

Buses in rush hours are really crowded, and office workers who often take buses know this situation, but being crowded is really unbearable and anger is inevitable. Nothing will happen as long as the person who knocked down others said an apology. However, people who squeeze people are more reasonable than those who are squeezed, and conflicts are inevitable.

guide to action

Everyone will inevitably make mistakes in life, which will bring inconvenience and even pain to others. In this case, many people don't like to apologize, thinking that it is disgraceful and will hurt their dignity and status. In fact, as long as you sincerely apologize at the first time, you can usually avoid the damage from expanding and even turn the crisis into a turning point.

Apologize immediately when it is time to apologize, otherwise the longer it takes, the harder it is to say it, and the situation will be irreparable. Apologize must seize the opportunity, do not delay and perfunctory. Be sincere when apologizing. A sincere apology can save one's reputation and enhance interpersonal relationship, while an insincere apology may lead to more mistakes and sometimes even unimaginable serious consequences.

Apologizing is not weakness. It takes courage for a person to admit his mistake. And once you are wrong, you must apologize. Only in this way can we avoid greater losses. Some people clearly know that it is their own fault, but they refuse to take the initiative to admit their mistakes because of their so-called identity or face. They feel that admitting their mistakes is a shameful thing, which leads to contradictions that can never be solved. In fact, a person's initiative to admit his mistakes is a sign of courage, which not only helps to solve contradictions, but also achieves a certain degree of satisfaction.

The language of apology should be sincere. Apologizing is not a sophistry for yourself, and it is not a means to cheat others to forgive. Apologists must really feel guilty about their mistakes in order to apologize sincerely, and don't avoid the importance. If you make a mistake, you must bear the corresponding responsibility. As long as you can take responsibility and try your best to make up for it, it is a very effective apology, and others will understand and accept your apology. When you say you're sorry, you must look directly at each other. Only in this way can you convey your heart. If you apologize or avoid doing something, you can't show your sincerity and let the other person feel that you are really admitting your mistake. Without making excuses to apologize, you can make the other person feel your heart and achieve the purpose of apologizing.

If you sincerely apologize, you don't have to emphasize the objective reasons and make too many excuses. Even if there are objective reasons that must be explained, you should apologize sincerely before explaining, and it is not appropriate to make excuses at the beginning. Otherwise, you are actually holding an abstract negative and concrete positive attitude towards your mistakes. This kind of apology is not only not conducive to bridging the ideological and emotional rift between the two sides, but will widen the rift and deepen the gap.

Remember, a real apology not only means admitting your mistake, but also means admitting the trouble your actions have brought to the other party, and you attach great importance to your relationship. I hope an apology can resolve the contradiction and get back together. A sincere apology can not only save our relationship, but also enhance our feelings. So, if you make a mistake, apologize generously and say sorry sincerely.

Talking skills between strangers: avoid embarrassing others when talking.

Talking skills between strangers: avoid embarrassing others by talking. Everyone's heart has a fortress of self-esteem. Remember to leave steps for people everywhere to avoid embarrassing others, in order to achieve harmony in interpersonal relationships. If you can save each other in some embarrassing situations with clever words, he will appreciate you.

One sentence makes people laugh.

A 17-year-old girl easily found the opportunity to work as a salesgirl in a high-end jewelry store. The day before Christmas, a middle-aged man came to the shop, wearing shabby clothes, with a sad face and eyes fixed on those high-end jewelry.

At this time, the girl answered a phone call and accidentally knocked over a plate. All six diamond rings in the plate fell to the ground at once. She hurried to pick it up, only to find that there were only five left. She looked up and found that the middle-aged man was walking out in a hurry. She suddenly realized that he had taken the ring.

When the man was about to leave the door, the girl said softly, I'm sorry, sir.

The man turned around and they looked at each other for dozens of seconds. When a man speaks, the muscles on his face twitch.

Sir, this is my first job, and it is difficult to find a job now. I think you know it well, don't you? The girl said gloomily.

The man looked at the girl for a long time and smiled: Yes, it's hard to find a job. But I believe you will do well here. May I bless you? He stepped forward and held out his hand to the girl. Their hands were clasped together.

Thank you for your blessing. I wish you luck, too! The girl said. Looking at the man's far-away back, she opened her hand, and it was a shiny diamond ring.

The girl gave the man a step, thus saving the ring and her job, which made a theft case easily solved.

Jump in one word.

Miss Zhang asked the cosmetics counter lady: Do you have any eyeliner that won't stain your eyelids?

The salesman said coldly, there is no such pen, but you are old, and your eyelids hang down and dirty your lower eyelids.

Miss Zhang was shocked and went home sadly. Of course, she didn't buy any cosmetics in that store, and she never came again.

What the salesgirl said may be true, but it hurts the customer greatly, and she has a bad attitude and is too arrogant to think of the customer at all. So irresponsibly hurt the customer's heart. In fact, it is herself who suffers the most.

guide to action

Nowadays, many people boast that they are outspoken. Even if there are contradictions because of improper words, they often excuse themselves on the grounds that I just like telling the truth. When a person wielding the whip of truth breaks into the inner realm that the other party doesn't want others to enter, it will inevitably lead to strong resistance from the other party.

Wen Qi went to a friend's wedding. During the dinner, a young man used the idiom "childhood friends" when explaining the relationship between the bride and groom. But in order to boast of his erudition, he also read this poem: When you, my love, ride a bamboo horse, run in circles and throw your childhood. This poem is right, but he misremembered the author. It was originally written by Li Bai, but he said it was Li Qingzhao, a poetess in the Song Dynasty.

Wen Qi graduated from Chinese Department, full of youthful spirit. Seeing this, she rudely corrected the man's mistake in front of everyone. But instead of saying nothing, this man insisted on his opinion even more.

So, the two men began to argue and refused to give in. At this moment, Wen Qi saw his university teacher sitting at another table and said happily, Let's not argue, let's find an expert to judge.

Not to be outdone, the young man said, "If you judge, you will judge. Who is afraid of who?".

Finally, the two of them agreed to let the university teachers in Wen Qi judge the reasons. Wen Qi hopes that the teacher can tell the young man that you are wrong. The author of this poem is Li Bai, not Li Qingzhao.

Unexpectedly, the teacher said to Wen Qi: You are wrong, and that gentleman is right.

Wen Qi was very embarrassed about this. She didn't believe that such a learned teacher would mistake the author of this poem. After she went back, she went to see the teacher again. Before she could speak, the teacher said, You were right just now. That poem was indeed written by Li Bai.

JiFen listened to a little confused, wondering to ask, then how did you say it was Li Qingzhao just now?

The teacher looked at her and said gently, everything you said is right, but we are all guests, so why embarrass people on that occasion? He didn't ask your opinion, but expressed his own opinion. Right or wrong has nothing to do with you. What good is it for you to argue with him about who is right and who is wrong? Don't forget this when working in society, and learn not to embarrass others.

Yes, never take all questions too seriously, it will only arouse others' disgust.

It is very clever to consider other people's feelings at any time and give them a step down. It reflects your tolerance and understanding of others and can win friends for yourself. Remember, giving others face is giving yourself face, and considering others' feelings is giving yourself a world.

The Art of Communication between Strangers: Countering the Unreasonable Behavior of Others

The art of communication between strangers: countering the unreasonable behavior of others. In social occasions, sometimes we will meet others who are eager to grab the white, intentionally or unintentionally ridicule, dig and dig. What should we do at this time? People who have the ability to improvise can mobilize their wisdom, turn themselves into initiative and make embarrassment disappear. The enemy will block you and the water will drown you. You can choose different coping styles according to different objects.

One sentence makes people laugh.

There is a rogue. One morning, he was eating at the door when he suddenly saw an uncle groaning on a donkey. So he had the idea of fooling the old man. He shouted, hey, come and have some dinner.

Grandpa hurried down from the donkey's back and said, thank you for your kindness. I have already had breakfast.

But the gangster smiled and said, I didn't ask you, I asked the donkey. Say that finish satisfiedly smile.

The uncle was polite and tolerable, but he was insulted by the scoundrel. Suddenly, he turned around and slapped the donkey in the face. He scolded: when I went out, I asked you if there were any relatives in the city, and you categorically said no, not relatives. Why do people invite you to dinner? Bang, bang, grandpa kicked two feet on the ass of the donkey again and said, don't you dare talk nonsense again. Say that finish, turn on the donkey, and roared off.

Facing hooliganism is irritating, but scolding hooligans is detrimental to your dignity. So uncle seized the flaw of the other language and fought back hard, with considerable strength. Since you insult me with the assumption that you talk to the donkey, I will admit your assumption and mock your friendship with the donkey by teaching him a lesson.

Jump in one word.

At the scene of a football match, Xiao Li's sight was completely blocked by the tall hat of a young woman in front, so he said to the woman in front: Your hat is blocking my sight, please take it off. But women don't even look back.

Hey! Please take off your hat! Xiao Li rushed up in anger and repeated loudly, I spent 20 yuan on this seat, and I don't want to see anything!

Is it? I spent 100 on this hat, and I want everyone to have a look. The young woman replied lazily, still sitting still. It is unreasonable for her to contradict others plausibly when she violates the morality of the public.

You, you and Xiao Li are speechless with anger.

You directly accuse someone of his mistake, but he talks back to you unscrupulously. What should you do when you encounter such unreasonable behavior? Many people may be as angry as Xiao Li, but in the end, the other party still speaks plausibly and ignores your existence! So you should learn to use elegant and decent language in defense, and give full play to your wisdom and generosity.

guide to action

In life, everyone may encounter all kinds of difficulties or troubles, so don't get angry at this time, it will only hurt yourself. You should be good at taking advantage of the flaw in the other party's words and make a strong counterattack.

The general principle is to remain calm, calm, distinguish things and speak appropriately; Be outspoken and unambiguous; Clever answers must be surprising and meaningful; Too vague to be outspoken; Silence is the silence. In short, proceed from reality, look at the situation and prescribe the right medicine.

When you make a verbal counterattack against unreasonable behavior, don't be long-winded, irrelevant, and don't be soft and hard. To hit the key accurately, hit the key at once, and the counterattack must be strong enough to make the other party speechless. So, how can we hit the nail on the head when fighting back? You can refer to the following methods: (1) spoof. Imitating each other's sarcastic words and creating new statements will put them at a disadvantage, thus making them fall into the trap of being smarter than being smarter.

(2) Eliminate semantic ambiguity. A sarcastic remark deliberately gives another explanation, and this explanation is just to turn your finger and point at the other person, which is equivalent to letting the other person hit his mouth.

(3) Fight poison with poison. When the other person attacks you with malicious words, you might as well push the boat with the current and deal with a man as he deals with you.

(4)-Kill two birds with one stone. Grasp the main facts or expose the key points, and point out the weakness of the other party through comparison while getting rid of the predicament, so as to make it into trouble.

(5) Clever use of metaphor. Use the indecent things in the other person's metaphor to compare with this related thing and give them a head-on blow.

But pay special attention to one thing: when someone deliberately makes things difficult for you or humiliates you, and your feelings are hurt, don't get angry just because you are angry, let alone bite the bullet, which will fall into his trap, expand the situation and be even more unfavorable to yourself; Don't be tongue-tied, and don't blush. This will make the other person feel that you are weak and deceivable, and he is likely to ridicule you even more. The only way is to keep a cool head, control emotions, use your brain quickly, adjust your thinking, and use the art of language, especially humor.

Some questions are hard to say to be accurate and conclusive, and frankly speaking, it may be unacceptable. When encountering such questions, don't stick to the positive answer, but say something related to it to guide the other person to think deeply, or use metaphors, assumptions, flowers instead of trees, etc. , to an implicit answer, a slight hint. This can not only get rid of the questions raised, let the other party be satisfied, but also skillfully avoid the important and ignore the things. On some occasions, especially social occasions, you can be vague and ambiguous, and give vague and general answers to some unavoidable questions. If so, I don't know much about it, and so on. Sometimes you can use body language to express it a little bit to show your response without making a clear statement, which not only gets rid of the entanglement of the other party, but also leaves room for manoeuvre for yourself.

When countering the other side, you can seize the weak link of the other side to simulate or reproduce its behavior to refute, for example, you can use the logical weakness and expressive weakness of the other side to counterattack.

Conversation skills between strangers: sincere words are more intimate.

Speaking skills between strangers: sincere words are more intimate. In life, when you compete with the persuaded object, the other party will have a kind of preventive psychology, especially strangers, which is stronger. If you can break through each other's psychological defense, they will be convinced. But it is not easy to break through the other person's psychological defense, and you often need to impress him with sincere words.

One sentence makes people laugh.

A sister sent a young man to a designated place, but he was not expected to be a robber. He took out a sharp knife and forced her to hand over all the money, so she had to think about countermeasures while saving money. In front of the robbers, she opened all the places in the car where she could hold money, turned out everything in her pocket, and gave him all the 300 yuan she earned a day, saying that she earned so little today.

Seeing his sister so frank, the gangster was speechless. My sister took the opportunity to say, where are you going? I'll take you there. This business is too risky. This little money will not only change your fate, but something will happen sooner or later. Then why not beg? After listening to her sister's words, the robber first put down the knife, and then seemed to remember something. Seeing the atmosphere relaxed, my sister lost no time to enlighten the gangsters: my family is already very difficult, and I have no skill. Later, I learned to drive from others and started this business. Although I didn't earn much money, I lived well. Besides, self-reliance, who can laugh at me if I am poor!

Seeing the gangster's silence, my sister went on to say, alas, people can do anything with sound limbs. Is he much better than us women? If you go this way all your life, you will be ruined. Seeing the gangster get off the bus, my sister added: Even if my money helps you, use it to do something serious, and don't do such shameful things again.

The gangster who kept silent suddenly cried, put 300 yuan into the elder sister's hand and said, elder sister, I will never do it again if I starve to death. Say that finish, low head away.

In this case, my sister typically used the skills of eliminating psychological precautions and finally achieved the purpose of persuasion. No one is born evil, and everyone has a kind and soft side. Sister's words touched the robber's sore spot and touched his heart, which not only solved the risk, but also educated and influenced a person. Therefore, a few sincere words can be better than a carriage full of gossip.

Jump in one word.

There is a long queue in front of the window of the ticket office of the railway station, and everyone is buying tickets in an orderly way. Suddenly, a young man in a black T-shirt rushed to the front and asked the conductor to check if there were any berth tickets in Taiyuan.

The conductor said discontentedly, everyone is waiting in line, so you can wait in the back. I'll check for you when it's your turn. Everyone is waiting.

Check it for me first, just for a moment. It'll be ready in a minute. It can take a few seconds, but it won't be long! That man won't listen.

Line up in the back first, everyone else is waiting! I'll check it for you. Does anyone agree?

I agree, and so do the people behind me!

Does everyone in the back agree? Have you asked everything? The conductor shouted.

I won't wait in line. What happened? Help me check what's wrong!

If you don't line up, I won't check it for you! The voice of the conductor is louder.

I won't line up today! The young man also shouted and stopped, blocking the people in the queue behind him.

The two men are deadlocked like this.

It is right for the conductor to stick to the principle, but if you pay attention to the way and speak softly, maybe the result will be better.

guide to action

Bai Juyi once said: people who touch people's hearts do not rely on feelings first. Passionate and sincere emotions can make people lift their beards, angry people will be sad, sad people will hide their tears, and envious people will fly. If the speech only pursues beautiful appearance and lacks emotion, it can only blossom fruitless. Although it can deceive people's ears, it can never deceive people's hearts.

Really want to change your heart, and this first needs to read each other's minds, get to the point, and grasp each other's key. If you don't understand each other's psychological needs, you can't get to the point.

Think more about each other. As the saying goes, if a Taoist wants to do a good job, he must sharpen his tools first, which requires us to reserve rich cultural knowledge, improve our self-cultivation, and at the same time cultivate our analytical ability, learn to see the essential characteristics of things through their superficial phenomena, be good at comprehensive generalization, and make our language short and pithy. In real life, some people talk a lot, but what they say is mostly empty talk, rhetoric and nonsense, which can neither give people some enlightenment nor have any substantive content. This high level can only be regarded as lip service at best, let alone thinking of each other.

People who can talk are often the best at talking about topics of interest to each other, and also the best at doing things, often people who have done things that make each other grateful or moved. If you want what you say to arouse the admiration of the other party or bring value to the other party, then you must gain the recognition of the other party. You must first think of the other party and care about the interests of the other party.