In interpersonal relationships, getting along is very pleasant at first, but there will always be some conflicts along the way, and then it becomes unpleasant. I would like to ask: What should be pai

In interpersonal relationships, getting along is very pleasant at first, but there will always be some conflicts along the way, and then it becomes unpleasant. I would like to ask: What should be paid attention to in interpersonal communication?

As the saying goes: The authorities are blind to the beholder. We all have some bad habits that are difficult to recognize in our interpersonal relationships. However, we don’t know it or don’t take it seriously. However, harmonious interpersonal relationships are the basis for efficient learning and office work. Today’s children The editor will take a look at the problems that are most easily ignored by ourselves. I hope that each of us can improve our own ability and improve our effective competitiveness.

Language habits

1. Don’t agree with others when they laugh at themselves!

To give you the simplest example, many girls like to say that they have a big face and thick legs. Modest people will laugh at themselves for their lack of talent and learning. Just smile when you hear it! Just saying "where where" is enough! Don't discuss this issue seriously with him! Especially people who are not that close to each other.

2. Use sentences starting with "you" more often and less with "I".

According to research, one of the most offensive ways of speaking is to talk about your own achievements, your own clubs, your own travels, your own family, your own children, and your own house throughout the article. And the car, even though he did have vivid words and interesting experiences.

On the contrary, it is much friendlier to ask the other person first when chatting and let the other person take the initiative to share. When two people play together, the really smart person will not let the other person be the one who keeps picking up the ball.

3. Use civilized language and avoid swearing.

This rule does not apply to all relationships. If you are best friends and conjoined besties, you can say whatever you want behind closed doors, but in most cases, no one will like a rude and noisy person. , there is a serious lack of vocabulary, and people who use swear words when talking and sighing. Think about a group of young people I met on the subway. They kept saying from the moment they got on the train, "Oh, I am beep-harmony, this beep-harmony also asked me to do beep-harmony things, beep-harmony, I beep- - Harmony beep - Harmony beep - Harmony"

I really can't avoid this kind of people, and I feel heartbroken even just looking at them.

4. Low-level people laugh at others, while high-level people laugh at themselves.

Always putting yourself in a low position is something that only those with true inner confidence can do. When I stayed at the school's parent-teacher meeting to help decorate the classroom, I discovered that anyone who talks loudly about their children and belittles other people's education methods will never be among the top ten in the class. They should be humble and low-key, listen to others with a smile, and occasionally talk. Parents of high-achieving students are the ones who consider their own children’s situation. Those who are truly number one in grade are very easy to identify. You only need to find a child who keeps saying that he or she is "stupid", "poor in receptivity", "a paper tiger with no great ability", "I won't force him, just let him be happy". But his expression is very natural and easy-going, without any hint of flattery or inferiority and timidity. His child has absolutely excellent grades, is confident and independent, and beats the second place by dozens of points.

Body language

1. Don’t get too close!

Don’t get too close! Don't get too close! Don't get too close! Say important things three times. Even if they are girls who hold hands, pat shoulders and hold arms as soon as they meet, it will make the other person feel intimidated. Especially in summer when the temperature is high, the person who is not familiar with the other person and still sticks so close is very off-putting. Boys must pay more attention to oral hygiene! It's a good idea to carry chewing gum with you. The air is not very fresh and pleasant when many people are talking close to each other. Even if the conversation is interesting, it is difficult for people to continue.

2. Reject small actions!

Many people will unconsciously make some small movements when speaking. Common ones are smoothing their bangs, rubbing their clothes, touching their noses, biting their nails, rolling their eyes, and some even spin in circles! Although these small actions have no impact on a person's character, they will make people think that you are not generous and decent enough. You can ask someone to record a video of you talking normally when you are not paying attention, and then observe and you will find many things that you did not notice. small details. For example, the editor has found that I occasionally blink hard, or unconsciously look to the upper left corner when thinking about a problem, which is not very beautiful and natural. Paying attention to your posture and temperament is also a key point in communication.

Being a human being

1. Think from someone else’s perspective.

This was taught to me by my elders. In fact, I learned it subconsciously from many years of getting along with them.

That is to always put yourself in the other person's shoes when acting, and think about how to make others feel most comfortable. For example, when handing someone a pair of scissors, point the pointed end toward yourself, when buying a drink, twist it open and let the other person drink first, ask others about their taste before ordering, and when chatting with a lot of people, pay more attention to the person you are least familiar with. If someone seems to be arguing, just act silly and make jokes to change the subject. It is always right to say "thank you" to the dormitory, aunt, taxi driver and waiter. Don't make everyone angry if you refuse someone's confession. Knowing that both parties are embarrassed, there is no need to block or break up with each other, it is true style to be frank and generous, keep an appropriate distance, and thank the other party for his love. When asking for other people's opinions, the hesitant words "whatever", "it's okay" and "that's okay" that they say hesitantly mean that they are not good! If you see him looking embarrassed and hesitating, change the topic quickly!

2. Bury your desire for expression.

This is what I find most difficult, and it is what I have been trying to learn for so many years. When you have made sacrifices and contributions for others or have been wronged, just resist the urge to tell the other person and the desire to make the other person blame themselves and feel guilty. Just be patient.

For example, you made an appointment to meet at five o'clock, but the other party was late for an hour due to some uncontrollable factors. When I saw you, I felt very guilty and upset, and apologized constantly. Although I was full of grievances, I would still tell you Him: It doesn’t matter. I was half an hour late too. In fact, I didn’t wait too long. Don’t blame yourself. Let’s go watch a movie.

Sometimes a friend does something wrong unintentionally, and the consequences have been caused and are irreversible. Then tell him that there is actually a good side to this, and that I have gained other unexpected benefits. I know that when we face other people’s mistakes, especially when we are on the absolutely so-called righteous side, we want to make people feel guilty and then feel sorry for them. No matter how strong your desire to apologize is, as long as he didn't do it on purpose and as long as the fault is not his, we should all learn to try to minimize the other person's guilt. Yes, this indeed shortened the time for him to apologize and reduced his sense of guilt. It seemed short-sighted and made him very unhappy and aggrieved. But in the long run, guilt is a precursor to the beginning of estrangement in the relationship between two people. Emotions that are supported by feelings of indebtedness and self-blame are painful. Only when two people maintain a relaxed attitude and maintain a reciprocal relationship can they remain friends, family members, and lovers, and go further and further.

Dressing

There is not much to say about this part. After all, I am not a fashion magazine editor, but not judging people by their appearance is a quality that modern civilized people have. At the same time, I would like to share my experience with everyone. In many cases, whether best friends, best friends, or lovers are compatible has little to do with their appearance, economic level, family conditions and other factors. I often see couples or friends with very different looks around me, but two people Their dressing styles are basically the same. The girl on the left is wearing a preppy shirt, coat, and plaid skirt. The girl on the right is wearing black silk leather pants and burgundy curly hair. Which kind of friends you want to make, you have to approach them first. Of course, I don’t necessarily mean starting to buy big-name brands or immediately going to the gym to lose weight and learn makeup to make deliberate changes. The most important thing in interacting with people is the fit of values. , and as ordinary people, no matter what kind of opponent we want to fight, combing your hair, arranging the collar and trousers of your clothes, and being plain, decent and generous is the best respect for the other party.

If you think it makes sense, please thank Zhihu for the original post. I’m just a porter. I thought it made sense when I saw it