What are the wonderful things in the sex shop?

Xi 'an, a quasi-first-tier city in northwest China, is actually not large, and its population has just passed the 10 million mark. Auspicious village, located at the entrance of High-tech Zone, is a prosperous village in the city, with shops on both sides of the street and dazzling signs. There is a small shop in this street. On the signboard at the entrance of the store, the four characters "sentient and interesting" are written impressively. On the thick ground glass of the shop door, there is also a line that says "minors are not allowed to enter". Anyone with a discerning eye will know at a glance that this is a small shop dealing in sex toys.

The owner of this shop is my friend. We often have tea and chat together, and I can always get many interesting stories from him. Especially the secrets of men's and women's privacy taboo in China, you know. Let's say something interesting today.

The following story is pure fiction. If there are similarities, they should be regarded as jokes.

Story 1

Boss!

I looked up, it was an enchanting woman.

Perfume immediately permeated the whole store. ?

Please give me thirty boxes of ordinary ones.

She chewed gum and threw some money on the counter. ?

I looked at her.

For 300, you only have 200.

She is very disdainful: don't give me this, I am a wholesaler.

This is the price, you know? You make forty dollars a box, that's all.

Since the other party is an expert, there is nothing to say.

I asked her as I took the condom.

How long will it take you to use so much?

She took out a mirror to make up.

A little proud: in two months, I had the most guests.

I sighed: You really worked hard.

She doesn't like it: How can you talk? In other words.

I shouted: You are so dedicated.

She nodded with satisfaction. ?

I picked up two hundred-dollar bills and looked at them.

One without watermark, I handed it to her: this one is fake.

She cried: fake?

Shit, I was raped again.

Story 2

The door opened.

A clean young man with glasses came in.

He put his briefcase on the counter.

Call me: Boss, do you have Viagra?

I smiled apologetically at him: it happened to be out of stock.

Out of stock?

The young man has glasses.

Take a piece of paper out of your pocket and look for it.

Na Wei and Meng? It's the kind of Indian goods

I gave him a thumbs-up sign.

Good eye, this medicine is true or false.

Most people really don't know.

The young man smiled.

It's not that I have a good eye, but that our director has a good eye.

What I wrote on this piece of paper is all the medicine he ordered to buy.

I admire you very much: your director is definitely an expert.

Take the medicine. The young man has already paid for it.

Say with me: Three boxes of tranquilizing and brain nourishing liquid will be opened on the invoice.

I smiled: Can this be reimbursed?

The young man blinked.

Our director has been busy at the grassroots level recently.

I often suffer from insomnia at night, and it is reasonable to prescribe these drugs.

Why can't I report it?

Story 3

Through the glass door

I saw a big Ben slowly stop in front of the shop.

door opening

A bald man struggled out. ?

He took out his gold card and held it up.

Two boxes of strong drugs, remember, the best, I don't care about the price.

Everyone will be happy to meet such customers.

I took out two boxes of red medicine with a big smile on my face.

Look, this is a famous brand just imported from France.

580 a box.

Instead of answering it, he took out his cigar and lit it.

Spit out a smoke ring, change!

I was slightly surprised and pretended not to know: what did you say, boss?

He smiled: Young man, I was just like you when I started my business.

Always being clever.

Now the business is too big to play.

I am embarrassed: Hey, hey, you should have told me earlier.

I made a fool of myself and immediately turned around to say hello.

Pony, bring me that little blue bottle in the refrigerator in the back warehouse.

He puffed a smoke turn and smiled smugly. ?

I quickly kissed it.

Chief, what do you need that for?

He sighed.

The bigger the business, the more money you earn.

The women around me are getting more and more beautiful, but things are getting worse.

I hasten to say, in fact, there are too many situations like you now.

Many of my clients are similar to you!

The boss smiled: this fucking society!

Glancing at me by the way, it's still hello, flying!

I am modest: no, Microsoft, hey hey, Microsoft.

While speaking, the medicine arrived, and he took it and laughed.

Children can talk.

If you are Microsoft, I am Panasonic!

Story 4

Beauty. ?

Absolutely beautiful. ?

Bright eyes and white teeth, skin as snow, soft as boneless, ice as jade.

The beauty slowly moved the footsteps of the lotus and said softly, boss, come to a box. ....

It turns out that beautiful women buy condoms. ?

I stared at her intently, but didn't move. ?

She was angry: boss, did you hear that? Buy a box ...

You are a beauty, and you are so beautiful when you are angry. ?

I came to my senses and went to get it.

Zan: You are so beautiful!

She giggled and shook her long hair.

What is this? The school is much more beautiful than me.

I don't believe it: impossible, more beautiful than you?

Which school are you in? ?

She took off her sunglasses: I'm from the Film Academy.

I cried, oh, I know you.

Aren't you the one?

Play that, that, that, that one in the TV series. ?

She smiled

I'm not the main character in it, do you remember?

I am very excited. I met a star today.

You are modest! You are too modest! Who doesn't know in this world?

It's not easy to be on the famous drama directed by Huang!

No, you have to sign for me!

She giggled.

Anyway, I am waiting for the bus here.

Just when you are free, I'll sign some more for you.

She's a little tired after signing a photo for a long time.

I brought a chair to sit her down. ?

I didn't care about other guests, so I just stared at her. ?

Your boyfriend didn't come? I asked her. ?

She turned her head: Who?

I said, the one who plays football, you are quite suitable.

She simply said

I broke up a long time ago, and the breakup fee has been sued.

I am embarrassed to say: I am sorry!

Think about it and ask her again.

So are you in love with that CCTV host now?

I read about it in the newspaper.

She cocked her head: I think you are really interesting.

I'm in a good mood today. To be honest, it's over!

I don't believe it.

Newspapers are everywhere, talking about this and that between you.

She smiled faintly. Do you think you can still know me now?

I have some understanding.

One more question: Who is your boyfriend now?

She frowned: I don't have a boyfriend now!

I really don't believe this. Point to the counter.

That's a lie. Then why did you buy this?

She is angry: that's because I'm going to Huang Dao's house tonight.

She stopped and I pretended not to hear. ?

With these words, she took out a cigarette and smoked silently. ?

The atmosphere suddenly became dull.

For a long time, I asked carefully

Do you want to do it with so many people?

She gave a cry.

You are wrong! I didn't sleep with anyone!

I just went to bed with a condom! You got it?

She stood up, picked up her bag and walked to the door. ?

Story 5

Brother, what's your name?

......？

All right, forget it. What do you want to buy?

......？

This kind?

......？

Ok, I'll take it out for you, 50 yuan. This medicine can treat impotence. ......

......？

Well, I won't say it!

......？

Hey, hey, can you see clearly with sunglasses tonight?

......？

Okay, stop staring at me. I was just asking. Actually, it's so hot, you should take off this big mask! ?

......？

Don't point it at me, I won't say anything. Finally, where did you buy this motorcycle helmet on your head? It's too dense

......？

Hey, don't go, I haven't found your money yet!

..... people have run away and disappeared.

Story six

I want to kill someone! He stood in front of me and said. ?

Seventeen years old is not young. ?

At least I know how to kill people. ?

With his slender hands, he is undoubtedly an excellent swordsman. ?

I'll kill him tonight! He sink a track. ?

He looks lonely.

Only people who are not confident will be lonely. ?

He has no sword on him.

A man cannot be called a swordsman unless he has a sword on him. ?

But if you think he can only use swords, you are wrong. ?

Hidden weapon. ?

A real hidden weapon. ?

Hidden weapons rank first in the white weapon spectrum. ?

Not many people in the world can escape this hidden weapon.

But maybe tonight his opponent is one of them. ?

Beggars dispatched 362 steering points in the world that year.

I tried my best to find this man, but failed. ?

No one has seen him, and you don't even know if he is a man or a woman. ?

It's him that this teenager wants to kill. ?

He shouldn't live in this world! Young screams. ?

Hold tight, his knuckles turned white. ?

I look into the distance, slowly way

So you want to buy our hidden weapons?

The boy's eyes are eager.

It is rumored in the Jianghu that hidden weapons is the most authentic place here!

I negative hand proudly way

Not bad!

The person you want to kill can only be killed with the weapon I hid.

but ......

Boss, what are you doing?

I fell in love with my classmate by accident.

I accidentally went to bed again.

Finally, I accidentally didn't take measures.

Now I want to buy some boxes of emergency contraceptives from you to avoid killing people.

Did you or did you not?

Shit, you kids! This world.

Really? ?

Yes, yes, of course.