Our school's New Year's Day party, asking for funny sketches.

Introduction to the seven-person sketch script: performer: examiner: 1 (male) plays: examiner's assistant: 2 (female) plays: assistant 1: The seven-person sketch script is introduced.

The text of the seven-person sketch script begins

Performer:

Examiner: 1 (male) Played by:

Assistant examiner: 2 (female) plays: Assistant 1: Assistant 2:

Moderator: 1 (female) Played by:

Applicant: 3(2 males/kloc-0 females) Respondent: A: B: C:

Music lighting director+flower delivery girl:

Scene: Office, indoor and outdoor, separated by a damper, outside the door, a row of benches, inside the door, next to a chair, facing a row of desks, in front of which there is a chair.

Preparation before the opening ceremony: sit at the door and table with the examiner and two assistants.

Opening: Hosting the stage.

Moderator: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our company's on-site job fair. First of all, please allow me, on behalf of the company leaders, to express my heartfelt thanks and wish you all a happy and prosperous Year of the Tiger. Thank you! (Bow 90 degrees) Then begin to introduce recruitment positions and exam questions.

Recruitment position: Assistant Sales Manager

Examination questions:

1. Pulling a string, the assistant sitting by the door pulls a string in front of the door when the candidate enters the door, knocking down the candidate and testing his adaptability.

2. Withdrawing the bench means that the candidate walks up to the examiner. When the examiner signals him to sit down, the assistant next to the door pulls the chair back, allowing the candidate to sit on the ground and continue to test his patience and adaptability.

3. Pick up the newspaper. After the examiner's interview, the candidate will hand over a blank sheet of paper to the assistant beside him, which reads: Congratulations, you have been accepted, and leave it at the door. The host showed the audience the big characters on the white paper. If the candidate picks it up, he will be admitted. If you don't pick up, you will automatically give up the admission qualification, mainly to examine the ideological and moral character and quality of the candidates. You don't need to lie on the ground, just stumble and show your purpose. )

After introducing the rules, the host began the next performance. In the meantime, other participants should sit up straight in their seats and remain silent and serious like soldiers.

Moderator (looking back): "The following job fair officially begins. Well, why? Is the 60th anniversary military parade not over yet? (Laughter) The examiner gave us an opening speech today. "

Examiner (making an easy statement): "OK, thanks to the host, to all the leaders and colleagues present, to all the staff, thank you. . . Oh, okay, okay, let's go! I declare the live reception of * * company ... Oh, no, no, the job fair has officially started. I am the sales manager of our company. Of course, I wrote all the exam questions. If there are any shortcomings, please give me more advice. Thank you! " Stand up and bow to the audience.

Assistant 2 (standing up to make a supplementary speech): Of course, our exam questions are targeted and only used by salespeople, because the pressure and frustration they face every day may be more serious than today's exam, so we do it on purpose. Don't label us as violating human rights. Please don't imitate. If there are similarities, it is purely coincidental. Thank you!

Moderator: OK, let's welcome all the talents who came to attend the on-site job fair today.

Moderator: "The first appearance is a beautiful woman, please welcome Zhang San."

Moderator: "Hey, where are you? Zhang San, Zhang San, Zhang San has not arrived yet. Please raise your hand if you haven't arrived. "

Moderator: "Please raise your hand if Zhang San is not here. Oh, he's not here. So have Li Si and Li Si arrived? "

Li Si raised his hand and walked onto the stage.

Recruitment (a)

A: "Comrades, I haven't seen you for a year. I miss you so much. "

A: "It is said that it is difficult for college students to find jobs. I don't think it is difficult to rush in. Don't treat me like a migrant worker and wear a pair of glasses. " "

Slammed the door and entered.

A: "The threshold here is a bit high. . . "

A sat down on the ground and sat back on the chair.

Examiner: "Please introduce yourself first."

A: "My name is Li and my name is Li Si. I graduated from Hugary University, majoring in physics (indoor) and repairing the earth. "

Examiner: What university and major? Can you make it more clear?

A: Well, well, the interior department of a university is a university that squats at home. Of course, it lives indoors, so it is called indoor. The major of soil repairing is weeding and planting crops.

Examiner: Oh, oh, so it's the brother of a migrant worker? !

A: No way. I don't want to graduate from college, but I won't be admitted!

Examiner: OK, welcome brother Li Si. Why are you here when you don't farm well at home?

A: I thought it was in response to the call of the country.

Examiner: What do you mean by responding to the national call?

A: The land in the village has been sold recently. We build factories and engage in real estate. The village party secretary asked us to go to the city to find a job, and we came, saying that it was urbanization and turned farmers into city people. I saw your inspiration in the market today, so I came to apply.

The examiner put his hand over his mouth and whispered to Assistant 2, "Why don't you check where their staff posted the recruitment tips?"

Assistant two promised to take out his mobile phone and start dialing.

Examiner: Do you know what this position is for?

I'm not sure, but I can read. The assistant of the sales manager helps to sell things. I know this. I used to sell rice and help my wife in my hometown. That's a sales assistant, too I am good at selling things. Our family used to be a famous rice seller in the village, selling hundreds of kilograms every year!

Examiner: OK, OK, not bad. What else can you do?

A: I, I can also sing!

Examiner: Do you want to sing a few words?

A: Here you are. Capella?

Examiner: OK.

A: Long years of wine, continuous Tuopai music. . .

Examiner: Stop, is this a song? This is an advertisement!

I know this song best. Advertising songs are also songs. Then I'll sing another song

Examiner: No, you can go back first. .

No, I can dance. I'll show you.

The music started and the examiner said "Swan Lake". 1 minute later, I suddenly switched to fast-paced dance music.

A immediately changed from a swan to a model. Use a yellow coat as a prop. When the yellow coat reaches the back of the chair, the music stops. A flustered hurried back to his seat.

Examiner: OK, good performance. Go back and wait for the notice, okay?

You hired me, didn't you? Thank you so much, I will work hard and live up to the expectations of the leaders!

Examiner: OK, bye-bye, go back and wait for the notice! Huh?

A: Goodbye.

A made a cross-threshold action at the door and stepped down.

Assistant 2 (on the phone): "What, where is the job advertisement posted? Every market has posted it, including the migrant workers' market. Ok, ok, I see. Thank you. Bye. "

The examiner is sweating again.

Examiner: Didn't you see the migrant workers? Isn't this a joke for everyone? Hmm! "

Assistant 2 (muttering): He said he was from Garreton University, but I didn't know he was a squatter. ...

The examiner shook his head and motioned to the host: next.

Recruitment (b)

Moderator: "Let's welcome a beautiful woman, Wang Ermazi, a famous university, majoring in marketing, with two years' working experience in a foreign company, CET-8 and good communication skills. Please welcome.

B: hello, everyone. I am very glad to have this opportunity to stand on the stage and express my heartfelt wishes to you. I wish you all happiness, all the best and all your wishes come true. Congratulations on making a fortune in the new year. Hey hey hey. . .

Ladies and gentlemen, I wish them a happy new year! Good luck, good health, cheers. I am your happy spring. May this season be full of joy. Thank you.

B slammed the door and dragged down his high heels. The assistant covered his nose.

B After sitting down, put the stool back and plop on the ground. The second one: "Ah" again, tears came out, and he said with tears: "Oh, my God!" He covered his face with his hand, refused to stand up and began to cry.

The examiner and the assistant also stood up to comfort her. "Don't cry, don't cry."

No sooner had the assistant lifted her up than she kept crying. The examiner and assistant handed towels to persuade her, but there was nothing they could do.

The examiner had to say, "Why don't you go home first?"

Hearing this, B immediately stopped crying loudly and sat in the chair very neatly.

There is something wrong with this room. Why do people always fall?

Examiner: Are you too nervous?

No, I have seen this scene many times. Very strange, very strange.

Examiner: Please introduce yourself first.

B: "My name is Wang, and my name is Wang Ermazi.

Examiner: What's your name? Why is it a little embarrassing?

Oh, sorry, this is my Japanese name, Wang Ermazi, and my Chinese name is Wang Guanglin, the second child in our family, so my name is Wang Ermazi.

Examiner: Isn't this still Pockmarked Wang? How many years have you worked?

Two years. I worked in a foreign company.

Examiner: What's your hobby?

I like singing, dancing, reading, surfing the Internet, playing ball games and working.

Examiner: You like your job, so you are a workaholic. ! People in foreign companies are workaholics! !

B: Hehe, I'm flattered. You are a hero when you are in a foreign company. Nothing you can do can stop it. Hold on.

Examiner: What kind of job do you like?

I like challenging jobs, such as sales. This is a brave job.

Examiner: Have you ever worked in sales before?

B: "Yes, I worked as a cosmetics promoter in college, and now my job is also related to sales.

Examiner: Oh, have you ever been a manager? You know, this time we recruited the deputy manager of the sales department, who not only knows sales, but also knows management.

B: No problem. When I was in college, I was a life member, a labor member and a study member in my class. I am the monitor's assistant. Although I have never been a top leader, I am now leading a sales workstation in my unit. I am the stationmaster. Everyone calls me webmaster Wang. "(counting his fingers)

Examiner: How many people are there in the workstation?

B: Me too.

The examiner lowered his head and raised his head again.

Examiner: What are your strengths and weaknesses?

B: My strengths are self-confidence, beauty, elegance, kindness, generosity and dedication. I, oh, too much. First of all, my shortcoming is that I am too trusting.

Examiner: No?

B: It's gone!

Examiner: Do you believe me?

I believe too much, examiner. When I look at your face and figure, I know you are by no means a mortal. It's just the famous saying in the abduction: you have a big head and a thick neck, and you are a cook if you are not rich!

Examiner: Are you complimenting me? You are so outrageous. . . Well, please describe your understanding of the position of assistant manager.

B: Assistant manager, that is, I will do whatever the leader doesn't do, and I will help him do whatever the leader wants to do.

I will see people that leaders can't see, and I will fuck off people that leaders want to see.

The examiner nodded with satisfaction, quietly picked up the white paper on the desk and handed it to Assistant 2, who left the desk, put the white paper on the ground and returned to his seat.

Examiner: OK, OK, thank you. Today's interview is over

So, can I be hired?

Examiner: It depends on yourself. Go back and wait for the notice, okay? Thank you for your participation.

B got up and thanked the audience, gave them a triumphant wink, and then walked out the door carefully. He saw the white paper on the ground, but only glanced at it and scratched it.

Seeing B disappear at the door, the examiner sighed, lay on the back of the chair and shook his head regretfully like a deflated ball.

Recruitment (c)

The host came to the stage, and before he could speak, C rushed to the stage. Moderator: "You came up before I called the roll, and then we were the last one. What will happen? " Let's wait and see. Please welcome. "Say that finish under the auspices.

C: May I come in?

Assistant 1: Of course.

C was just about to enter the door when he saw the paper on the ground. At this time, Assistant 2 got up from his desk to come and get it, but it was too late. Only C picked up the paper and handed it directly to the assistant 1, saying, "Here, you dropped your paper." As soon as the assistant took the blank paper, he couldn't make a move to stay, so he had to say thank you. C went straight into the door to find the examiner. The examiner said a little rudely, "You, why don't you pull the rope?" "Assistant A hurriedly followed, holding a piece of white paper, want to take back the stool.

C asked the examiner strangely, "Pull the wire, what wire?" "

The examiner quickly sat up straight. At this time, when the assistant saw the examiner gesturing for C to sit down, he was ready to move the stool, but C pulled up the back of the chair with his hand and sat down face to face with the examiner, saying, "Is it a straight line with you pulling the chair?" All right. "The examiner speechless, just staring at Qin Feng. ..

The assistant pulled it with his hand and stopped moving. After sitting down, C turned to the assistant and said, "Thank you!"

The assistant shrugged his shoulders and motioned to the examiner, who had to nod slightly and put it by hand. As soon as the assistant returned to his original seat.

The examiner stared at C's eyes, and they looked at each other and were silent for ten seconds. Neither side spoke.

Then the heads of the two men are getting closer and closer, and the eyes are getting closer and closer. Lean forward and suddenly part when you touch your nose.

When they leaned back in their chairs, they began to talk.

Examiner: What's your name?

C: My name is Xiao Haizhou.

Examiner: Xiao Haizhou? Is that a name, too What's your relationship with Xiao Shenyang?

We come from the same village, Global Village.

Examiner: You are quite humorous!

C: No matter where you are now, you must be able to talk about many sales matters. I can't help myself in the Jianghu.

Examiner: How many years have you worked in this industry?

C (posing): I have traveled all over China for four years. That's really:

It snowed in Anling, Daqing.

The wind blows through Ala Pass,

Worship Buddha on the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau,

I trained in Xisha Islands.

Feeling a little rude, C ran back to his seat and sat down again.

Moderator (thumbs up): Yes, yes, it belongs to a village in Little Shenyang.

Compere: Why did you leave your former company to apply for a job in our company?

C: Because your company is an American group company, it is very big, very big and very good (thumbs up), so I want to do something big.

Compere: Do you want to be ambitious? ! Our position is just assistant manager, don't you think it's a waste of talent?

C: a gentleman can bend and stretch. Today's smallness is to achieve tomorrow's greatness. I don't think this is a problem. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I hope your company can give me this opportunity. Okay？ (head back, a look of complacency. )

Examiner: OK? Ok, ok, ok … please don't speak English with me, ok?

C: Oh. . Okay, I can't speak English. "

Examiner: What's your specialty?

C: What I am good at is reciting poems.

Examiner: How about giving us all a paragraph?

C: All right. Music. . . Music. . (Stand up and walk to the stage. )

C: "Rain Lane, Dai Wangshu." The music started. The lights are dimmed.

C: "Holding an oil-paper umbrella, I wandered alone in a long, long, long place. . . Rain lane. " Keep talking and say, "I'm still talking if you don't applaud." (until the audience laughs. )

"I hope to meet a girl like lilac.

She has the color of lilacs,

Lilac-like fragrance,

As sad as cloves. "

At this time, a girl from the audience ran to the stage with a bunch of flowers and gave it to him. )

C (feeling): "Today is a good day. Speaking of girls, girls will come. Oh, don't go. It's the New Year. I have nothing to give you. I will give you a red envelope. (pulls out a red envelope) Is your name Lilac? Let's meet. I haven't met anyone yet. "

I suddenly remembered that I was reciting a poem, so I added, "Holding an oil-paper umbrella, I wandered alone on a long, long, long road." . . "When you shake your head, the music suddenly stops. When the light came on, the examiner said, "Are you finished? "? !"

C was startled and had to go back to his seat with flowers in his hand. He wants to put them on his knees. When he thought it was wrong, he held them up to the examiner with both hands, and the examiner said; "This is not you bribe me face to face? I can always be honest and clean, keep my sleeves clean, and don't take the masses. " I suddenly took it, handed it to Assistant 2, and said, "Keep it and give it back to the proprietress."

Continue the dialogue with the examiner.

Examiner: Let's begin. What's your current salary?

C: Our salary is confidential and it is not convenient to disclose it. How much can your company give us?

Examiner: Hehehehe, we are also confidential. . . How much do you want?

Hold out five fingers.

Examiner (leaning in a low voice): Annual salary? Ten thousand or thousands?

C also whispered: Hundred!

The examiner suddenly grabbed C's outstretched hand, with tears in his eyes, stood up and said to the audience, "Well, comrades, employees who know how to save money for the company must be good employees!"

C felt a little unnatural and pulled out his hand and whispered, "I haven't finished yet, and there is another word behind me: Wan!" "

Hearing this, the examiner hurriedly off hand, "five million! Thank you for saying so. I don't have such a high annual salary! "

C: "Sorry, my previous unit was a Japanese-funded enterprise. I'm used to it. It is Japanese yen! " "

Examiner: "5 million yen, that's more like it!" But we are an American-funded enterprise, and our wages are all dollars! Dollar! " At the same time, I rang my finger.

C: "How about cutting it in half, 250?" Ask carefully.

C: "Two hundred?"

C: "One hundred and fifty?"

The examiner held out five fingers,

C: "Fifty. . . Wan? "

The examiner closed his hand, shrugged his shoulders and made no comment.

C: "Five. . . Wan? " The examiner looked disdainful.

C gritted his teeth: "Five. . . Thousands of lines, you are embarrassed, tuition should be paid. "

The examiner nodded with satisfaction and reached for the white paper on the table, only to remember that in the hands of Assistant One, he pointed to Assistant One with his finger and put the white paper at the door.

After a while, the assistant misunderstood and thought it was for her to pull the thread and get it ready.

Examiner: "Well, today's interview is over."

C: "Oh? So soon? Can you give a result? "

Examiner: "Go ahead and you will know the result. Ok? "

C: "O. . Ok, goodbye. "

Examiner: "Goodbye, thank you for your participation!" " "

C: "Thank you, goodbye, goodbye."

C left his seat, put his hand on his forehead and stood up thoughtfully. The examiner made a gesture to the assistant, but she was bent on pulling the wire and ignored the examiner's gesture.

C walked quickly and began to walk towards the audience, just greeting them. When he walked out of the door with a smile, the assistant pulled up the thread.

C plopped out. . . Keep your head down until you can stop it.

The examiner covered his forehead with his hand and couldn't bear to look again. Assistant two stood up and ran over.

The assistant went to help C with a blank sheet of paper in one hand, and the host ran over and was interviewed with a microphone.

C finally stood up, a little confused and feeling dizzy. He put his head on his hand and asked assistant one, "What's the matter? What is this? "

As soon as the assistant asked the examiner for help, the examiner came over and said to the assistant, "I asked you to help him pick up the paper, not pull the wire!" " "

The assistant said, "Didn't he pick up the paper?"

The examiner patted his head: "Oh, blame me, blame me, I forgot."

At this time, the host solemnly asked the examiner: "Excuse me, examiner, why did you change the recruitment process this time, first pick up the paper and then pull the wire?"

Examiner: "this, this, is called: people all over the country steal vegetables,

The plan won't change so fast!

People all over the country love foreigners,

I love XXX company! "

At this time, assistant 1 and assistant 2 prepare a banner that says, "I love a company".

Then he took the white paper from the assistant and handed it directly to C.C. He took a look and said, "Congratulations, you are hired."

C was stunned first, and then: "Ah! I won! " Leaning back, fainting, like Fan Jinzhong's lift, crazy twice, feeling a little out of control.

The host, assistant, examiner and others quickly stepped down with C. .

(End)