Everyday funny quotations

1. To live a life is to add feet inch by inch and move inch by inch. The so-called foresight is too far away from me.

2. I think I am the real Wu Zongxian, and I have no religious restrictions.

3. A ping-pong ball bounces back when it hits the wall, but it can't bounce back when it hits the sponge. How can you make yourself strong? Is to have knowledge support, let yourself become a wall, no matter what kind of table tennis is called, it can bounce back, and any guest will give you feedback. Language exchange and confrontation is like this.

4. When you are old, you should have four elders: your wife, your old friend, your old nest and your old base.

5. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince ... It may be a Tang priest, and the one with wings is not necessarily an angel ... It may be a mosquito.

6. No matter people or trees, the more you want to be flowery, the more you have to drill into the soil. Drilling underground is painful and lonely, but only in this way can we accumulate nutrients.

7. What is the most beautiful thing in spring? They say cloud flowers and green leaves. In fact, the most beautiful thing is the spring wind. If there is no wind, the clouds will not float, the leaves will not move, and there will be no ripples on the lake. A good host will be like a spring breeze.

8. There are different masks in life, and there are stage masks on the stage.

9. My father is from Jiangsu and my mother is from Hunan, so I am a Jianghu person.

1, the so-called star host and so on, after decades, everything will be empty, so don't say star at all, just be happy.

11. True happiness comes and goes quickly. We have to grasp it tightly, learn to lower the standard of happiness, and master the points of happiness at each stage. Only when you are happy, people around you will not have too much burden, and everyone will be happy.

12. The cheerleaders in Minnesota asked Wang Han why China was called China. Wang Han replied: That's because a long time ago, we thought China was the center of the world, and we believe that China will become the center of the world again in the near future!

13. There are two kinds of hosts that can be successful. The first kind is to treat the audience as God, and God will be very kind to you and bless you. There is also a God who regards himself as an audience. If you believe me, you will be happy. I hope I can do the latter.

14. It is my blessing to be able to stand on this stage and bring joy to everyone, so I stand on this stage with gratitude every day, hoping that every minute I am on the stage can bring you a little happiness. Because I think the happiness of a person's life is the accumulation of happiness every day. If my daily program can bring you short happiness, I think I will participate in the happy life of every audience.

15. I am tall and low-key.

16. Being alone is not as good as having many happy people, and having many happy people is not as good as Yang Lele.

17. I am the human limit, and you are the human bottom line.

18. Focus on one thing, and you will always open the door to success.

19. I've always felt this way. It's like seeing a tree, a big tree, on the side of the road. What you see is its lush foliage and even its swaying in the wind, but you can't see its deep roots. Maybe what you see is me swaying in the wind of entertainment programs and even making a fool of myself, but in fact, others can't see my life.

2. I am where I am today because many people have helped me. I hope there will be many excellent presenters in the future. I can help them in their growth, because it is happy to be helped by others, and it is also happy to help others, so I hope that more people will have the opportunity to appear in the camera whenever there is an opportunity, but whether they can succeed or not depends on themselves.

21. The difference between vulgarity and humor should be the difference between poisonous mushrooms and non-poisonous mushrooms. On the surface, they can make people laugh, but poisonous mushrooms make people sick after eating, and non-poisonous mushrooms make people feel comfortable after eating. One can stand the aftertaste, and the other is that I feel sick without aftertaste.

22. I hope that all men will be playboys of only one woman: spend time and thoughts on her.

23. Half-hearted: reassure parents, make lovers happy, reassure leaders, be kind to women and be casual to men.

24. Marriage is the grave of love, but it's better to be buried in peace than to die in the street.

25. After the word "love" is written in traditional Chinese characters, there is a heart in the middle of feeling, so I think love means feeling with your heart.

26. According to my observation, handsome men all say that they are not handsome, so I also think that I am not handsome.

27. Whether you are getting prosperous or dying, this moment is your life.

28. Don't ask me if Lele and I are married. If you ask me again, we will get divorced.

29. If you don't regret it, the only thing you can do is cherish it. Be kind to yourself when you are alone, and be kind to each other when you are alone. Wang Han's wisdom quotations from Everyday Progress

1. To live a life is to add feet inch by inch and move inch by inch. The so-called foresight is too far away from me.

2. True happiness comes and goes quickly. We have to grasp it tightly, learn to lower the standard of happiness, and master the points of happiness in each stage. Only when you are happy, people around you will not have too much burden, and everyone will be happy.

3. There are two kinds of hosts that can be successful. The first kind is to treat the audience as God, and God will be very kind to you and bless you. There is also a God who regards himself as an audience. If you believe me, you will be happy. I hope I can do the latter.

4. I have always felt this way, just like seeing a tree, a big tree, on the roadside. What you see is its lush foliage, even its swaying in the wind, but you can't see its deep roots. Maybe what you see is me swaying in the wind of entertainment programs and even posing and making a fool of myself, but in fact, others can't see my life.

5. Marriage is the grave of love, but it's better to be buried in the ground than to die in the street.

6. After the word "love" is written in traditional Chinese characters, there is a heart in the middle of the feeling, so I think love means feeling with your heart.

7. According to my observation, handsome men all say that they are not handsome, so I also think that I am not handsome.

8. whether you are getting prosperous or dying, this moment is your life.

9. Don't ask me if Lele and I are married. If you ask me again, we will get divorced.

1. If you don't regret, the only thing you can do is to cherish. Be kind to yourself when you are alone, and be kind to each other when you are alone.

11. Half-hearted: reassure parents, make lovers happy, reassure leaders, be kind to women and be casual to men.

12. When a person is old, he should have four elders: his wife, old friend, old nest and old base.

13. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but a Tang priest. The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, but a mosquito.

14. No matter people or trees, the more you want to blossom, the more you have to drill into the soil. Drilling underground is painful and lonely, but only in this way can we accumulate nutrients.

15. The difference between vulgarity and humor should be the difference between poisonous mushrooms and non-poisonous mushrooms. On the surface, it can make people laugh, but poisonous mushrooms make people sick after eating, and non-poisonous mushrooms make people feel comfortable after eating. One can stand the aftertaste, and the other is that I feel sick without aftertaste.

16. A ping-pong ball bounces back when it hits the wall, but it can't bounce back when it hits the sponge. How can you make yourself strong? Is to have knowledge support, let yourself become a wall, no matter what kind of table tennis is called, it can bounce back, and any guest will give you feedback. Language exchange and confrontation is like this.

17. What is the most beautiful thing in spring? They say clouds, flowers and green leaves. In fact, the most beautiful thing is the spring wind. If there is no wind, the clouds will not float, the leaves will not move, and there will be no ripples on the lake. A good host will be like a spring breeze.

18. It is my blessing to be able to stand on this stage and bring joy to everyone, so I stand on this stage with gratitude every day, hoping that every minute I am on the stage can bring you a little happiness. Because I think the happiness of a person's life is the accumulation of happiness every day. If my daily program can bring you short happiness, I think I will participate in the happy life of every audience.

19. I am where I am today because many people have helped me. I hope there will be many excellent presenters in the future. I can help them in their growth, because it is happy to be helped by others, and it is also happy to help others. Therefore, whenever there is an opportunity, I hope more people will have the opportunity to appear in the camera, but whether they can succeed or not depends on themselves.

2. Love is not like drinking beer. There are a large table of people. Love should be like drinking coffee and tasting it quietly in the corner. A cake got lost in the forest. Who encouraged him to walk out of the forest?

answer: pig. Because of chocolate cake.

2. Qian Feng: Why is the penguin's belly white?

Everyone is at a loss

Qian Feng: Because penguins have short hands, they can only take a shower in front (while talking, demonstrating and laughing)

3. There were five people walking side by side in the street. Suddenly a typhoon blew and smashed a billboard, but only three were killed. Why? Because it was McDonald's ("M")

4. Qian Feng: Do you know the name of the tiger?

Ou Di: tiger

Qian Feng: Wrong! !

crowd: what?

Qian Feng: Danny!

Everyone:

Qian Feng: Because "the tiger is Danny" (eyeing)

5. The joke is that astronauts use adult diapers, and Qian Feng quickly responded, saying, "Adult diapers are not wet, so give a personal name." Wang Han said coldly that they were not interested in knowing the answer, so they ignored him. However, Ou Di couldn't help it later and said, "Brother, I'm sorry, I want to know Qian Feng's answer."

Qian Feng immediately stood up excitedly and proudly-adult diaper, Bao Qingtian, Bao-adult! !

6. There is a bird that has been shot several times. Why is it still flying?

answer: because it is strong.

7. It's still a bird. It's been shot several times. Why is it still flying?

answer: because it reflects slowly.

8. There are 8 Spartans. Why are there only 3 in the end?

answer: because Wu Bai went to sing.

9. What are cloth and paper afraid of?

answer: not (cloth) afraid of ten thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

1. A pig was idle and bored, so it left, and when it came to England, what became of it?

Answer: pig,

11. The number you dialed cannot be connected. Why?

answer: because Ningbo (you dial) is far from Beijing.

12. A man was climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. What did he say?

answer: Happy birthday!

13. Nash is very fast. Why?

answer: because it is too late to speak, and then (Nash) is fast.

14. Of the numbers 1-1, which two are the brightest?

answers: 1, 3, because of twinkling star.

15. If there is a car with a prince and a princess sitting on it, whose car is it?

the answer is "if".

16. among the 26 letters, which one is the coolest?

answer: c, because the western (c) pants

17, 26 letters, ET left, how many are left?

Answer: 21, because ET left by UFO.

18. Qian Feng said: There is a little rabbit, which walks and jumps for a while, and it is left foot and right foot for a while. Why?

answer: because she likes it.

19. There is an eggplant. It walks in the street and sneezes three times. Then he said, "Where are you taking pictures of graduation photo again?".

2. One day, a man fished and caught a squid. The squid said, "Please leave me alone."

the man said, "I'll test you a few questions, and I'll let you go if you answer them."

the squid said, "ok, ok, you can take the exam." As a result, the man roasted it.

21. A match was walking on the road. It felt that its hair was itchy, so it scratched its own hair, and then it caught fire.

22. Customer: "Why doesn't the wine you sell smell of alcohol?"

The waiter took a smell and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot to mix wine for you."

23. Koji: How much does a star weigh?

8 grams, because the star is 8 grams (Starbucks)

24. There was a steamed stuffed bun. He was hungry and ate himself.

25. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. He was really bored and began to pull out his own hair. One … two … three … finally, there was not one left. He suddenly shouted … It's so cold! ! .....

26. One day Xiaoqiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid boy?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" (This is cold enough.,,,)

27. A polar bear and a penguin were playing together. The penguin pulled off his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!"

Hearing this, the polar bear pulled off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" "

(It is very cold ...)

28. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He passed a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield.

All the corns turned into popcorn. After the bird flew over ... it thought it was snowing. It's freezing ...

29. Once upon a time, Tomato A and Tomato B went shopping together

Then suddenly a truck rushed out

Pushed Tomato A over

Tomato B pointed at Tomato A and laughed

[ha ... ha ... tomato sauce-]

3. Little penguin asked his grandmother one day. "Yes, of course you are a penguin."

The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" "Yes, you are a penguin. What's the matter?"